FIC: And Puppy Dog Tails, Part 01 (original) (raw)

Title: And Puppy Dog Tails
Author: Cassie Morgan (falconkenobi@aol.com)
Author Web Page: http://www.aemslash.co.uk Obsess, Much?
Fandom: RPS – Good Charlotte/Mest
Categories: Tony Lovato/Joel Madden. Angst, BDSM
Rating: NC-17
Thanks to: You, for reading this. Chel, as ever, for the beta.
Note: One of three sequels to Puppy Training - this is the 'good puppy' story
Disclaimer: Benji & Joel Madden and Tony Lovato are real people, and the events in this story are just that - fictional, figments of my sick and twisted imagination. Hell, call it a fantasy if it makes you feel better. Whatever. No rumours should be started in regards to any events in these works of fiction. This story is written purely for entertainment purposes and no money is being made out of it.
Summary: Benji goes away for a couple of days and the puppy is badly pining for him. So Tony helps keep his mind off it.

“It’s only for a couple of days,” Benji promised, crouching down in front of Joel. He ran his hands through Joel’s dark hair, cupping the back of his head as he pulled him close for a quick, but tight hug. “I’ll be back before you know it, ok?” He pulled back, pressing a feather light kiss to his lips. Joel nodded and Benji grinned in encouragement, kissing him again, firmer. “Make sure you’re a good puppy for Tony when I’m gone,” he told him sternly, patting him affectionately on the head before rising to his feet. “Don’t be too hard on him, Tony.” Benji whispered, shouldering his backpack before pulling Tony into a tight embrace.

“I won’t,” Tony reassured him, kissing him roughly. “Gonna miss you so fucking much,” he mumbled against Benji’s lips. “Do you have to go?”

Benji giggled at the pouty, pleading expression in Tony’s eyes. “I promised Josh I’d DJ with him,” he reminded Tony. “And it is only for a couple of days,” he repeated, kissing him again. “I’ll be back before you know it.”

Tony nodded. “I know.” He sighed, taking a step backwards into the house, leaning against the doorframe, Joel sitting quietly between his feet. “Love you, Benj.”

“I know.” Benji turned and walked down the path. He stopped and looked over his shoulder, heart breaking at the misery radiating from Joel. “Tony? Look after Joel for me.” Squaring his shoulders, his exhaled deeply then walked down the driveway, got into his car and drove off without a backward glance.

Tony leaned against the doorframe, one hand raised in a farewell wave, watching Benji drive off, standing there until the car pulled out of sight. He sighed, then closed the door. “Come on, puppy,” he sighed, turning and walking back into the living room, Joel padding along obediently beside him. He threw himself down on the couch, watching as Joel curled up in the basket, head pillowed on his hand. Throwing him a treat, Tony sprawled out along the length of the couch, aimlessly surfing the channels as he lit a cigarette. Blowing a cloud of blue smoke into the air, he folded his hands behind his head and stared at the ceiling.

He lay quietly for a few minutes before placing the cigarette in an ashtray on the table and swinging himself upright. Rising to his feet, he ambled out to the kitchen, grabbing himself a bottle of beer from the fridge. He took a long swig from it before making his way back to the lounge. Stumbling over one of the puppy’s squeaky toys, he tossed it back into the basket.

The toy hit Joel on the back and he yelped, tossing the toy back out of the basket, hard enough for it to hit the wall opposite.

Picking up the toy, Tony glared at Joel, about to throw it back at him, rebuke dying on his lips at the lost and despondent expression on Joel’s face, sheer misery radiating from him. He sank back down on the couch, switching the television off and placing the toy on the table.

“Come here, puppy,” he called softly.

Obediently, Joel slowly uncurled and crawled out of the basket, stretching his back and rolling his neck before crossing the room to sit quietly at Tony’s feet.

Tony laughed softly and patted the seat next to him, his laugh growing more genuine when Joel cocked his head to one side in confusion; pets weren’t allowed on the furniture. “It’s ok,” Tony reassured him. “Just this once. And we won’t tell Benji, how does that sound?”

Joel nodded and barked softly once before unfolding himself and climbing onto the couch.

“Good puppy,” Tony patted him on the head, wrapping his arms around him and pulling him tightly against his chest. He pressed a kiss to Joel’s throat, his fingers rubbing along the leather collar around his neck.

Joel sighed softly, tensing briefly before trembling and relaxing against Tony. He breathed deeply and curled into Tony; his Master's warm body and steady regular breathing helping to calm him down.

Tony frowned slightly at Joel's reaction. "You ok?" he asked, tightening his arms around Joel. There was a slight pause before Joel shrugged one shoulder, followed quickly by a nod of his head. "Don't just shrug. Talk to me, Joel. Please?"

Something in the tone of Tony's voice made Joel wriggle around on his lap to face him. Meeting his eyes, Joel was shocked to see Tony looked as lost he felt. A wave of uncertainty washed through Joel and he nibbled briefly, nervously on his lower lip before cupping Tony's face in his hands and kissing him square on the lips. "I'm fine, Tony, I promise," Joel hastened to reassure him.

"Don't lie to me, Joel," Tony begged, cuffing him lightly around the head. "You miss Benji."

Joel swallowed audibly, wrapping his arms around himself in a comforting gesture. "Yes, Sir."

Tony sighed and shook his head, "No, Joel," he disagreed, reaching around Joel's head to unbuckle the collar. His frown deepened when Joel whimpered under his breath, flinching at the touch. Swearing, he removed Joel's collar and dropped it to the floor. "Now, lets try this again, shall we? You miss Benji."

"Yeah," Joel agreed. "So fucking much." He rubbed the back of his neck, missing the familiar weight of the leather collar. "It.. hurts. Aches." He admitted quietly. "You miss him too."

"This isn't about me," Tony protested, forcing a laugh that died on his lips at the look Joel shot him. "I miss him like crazy. I hate it," he sighed, shifting on the couch to look at Joel, his expression worried and serious as he searched Joel's eyes. "Joel..." he trailed off, unsure how to word his question. "When... when I removed your collar, why did you... You flinched. Like... as if you were scared I'd..." He stumbled to a stop, his eyes wide with realisation. "Oh fuck! Like you were scared I was going to hurt you. Joel, please... please don't tell me you think I'd hurt you?"

Joel blushed and he automatically shook his head, stammered denials falling brokenly from his lips.

Watching Joel's reaction, Tony moaned and covered his face in his hands, swearing loudly. Joel fell silent and Tony looked up again, hurt and confusion clear on his face. "Why?" he whispered.

"I... I'm sorry," Joel offered, crossing his legs under him as he gathered his thoughts. "I don't know... I promise you I'm not scared of you, Tony. I know you and I KNOW you wouldn't... you couldn't hurt me."

"But..." Tony prompted, his voice cracking with emotion. "Joel?" he asked again when Joel didn't reply. "If you're not scared of me then why did you flinch away from me?"

"Um.." Joel's blush deepened. "The only time you've touched me recently is when you've been disciplining me. Disciplining the puppy. And I got confused, ok?" He curled in on himself, his voice rising as he grew more agitated. "I don't know what I'm doing here. I just... How the fuck am I supposed to.. supposed to... Every time I ever see you, I'm just the puppy and I don't... With Benji, things are still normal when we're on our own. But with you.. its only ever when I'm being the puppy and I don't know how to act around you…”

Tony paled, his eyes growing wide as he dropped to his knees in front of Joel. Grasping Joel's hands in his own he leaned forward and planted a hard kiss to his lips, shutting him up. "I'm sorry," he whispered, "I'm so fucking sorry, Joel." He shuddered, dropping his head down with a sigh before looking up again and meeting Joel's eyes. "I didn't know... I hadn't realised..." He ran his fingers over his face, tugging at his hair in frustration. "I'm sorry," he repeated sadly.

Confusion darkened Joel's eyes and he gnawed on his lower lip. "Tony, it isn't... it isn't your fault," he protested softly. "I'm the one who.. who got lost..."

Tony shook his head, placing his finger firmly over Joel's lips. "No, Joel, it is my fault. Mine and Benji's. We didn't think this through properly. We got so caught up in the games that we didn’t think of the consequences." Tony laughed dryly. "I never expected Ryan... never dreamed our puppy could ever be someone we knew so we didn't stop to think how this could effect the relationship between the three of us. But as soon as Benji's home, we'll sit down and talk about this - all three of us - and work it o..." He trailed off, reaching out for Joel when a panicked
expression crossed his face. "Joel?"

Joel curled further in on himself, pulling away from Tony. "Please don't tell Benji," he begged hoarsely.

"I have to," Tony apologised. "I need his help to fix this mess and if he doesn't know what's going on... why don't you want Benji to know?"

"I don't want him to be disappointed in me," Joel admitted, blushing.

"He won't be," Tony hastened to reassure Joel. "There is no reason at all for him to be disappointed in you. This is our fault, Joel. It's not something you have or haven't done; it is not your fault. Listen to me Joel - you have been the most perfect fucking puppy dog ever and you haven't done a single thing wrong here. Benji and I are the ones who got things wrong.. and from the look of things we couldn't have got things more wrong if we'd tried. We didn't think and...." Tony sighed, rocking back on his heels. "I never meant to hurt you Joel." He leaned forward again, his hand pressed against Joel's chest over his heart. "Not physically and definitely not emotionally. I never wanted to hurt you, I love you too much to ever want to hurt you but I have and I'm so... I said that last bit out
loud, didn't I?"

"Yeah, you did." Joel agreed, nodding. “Tony, you… you love me?” He repeated, blinking rapidly. “But… I thought…”

"Oh fuck," Tony laughed, blushing. "Yeah, I’m in love with you,” Tony admitted, suddenly feeling unsure of himself. “How could I not be,” he pointed out, grinning shyly at Joel. “I'm sorry. Not for being in love with you," he clarified, "but for hurting you - I’m so so fucking sorry, Joel. And I've completely fucked up..." his voice broke and he exhaled shakily. "Can you ever forgive me for fucking things up like this?"

Joel was unable to stop his lips from quirking upwards at the sheer desperation in Tony’s voice and the shy hopeful look on his face. "Yeah," he croaked, nodding. He slid off the couch, dropping to the floor in front of Tony, pulling Tony into a tight hug, holding him close.

After a few minutes, Tony pulled back, relief shining brightly in his eyes. "Thank you."

Joel grinned in reply. He shifted position on the floor, leaning forward and kissing Tony.

Tony whimpered softly, his eyes sliding closed as he accepted and responded to Joel's gentle kiss, his lips parting as Joel's tongue explored the cavern of his mouth, his tongue rubbing against Joel's; Joel responding likewise and the kiss deepened, becoming harder and more passionate, their tongues exploring and tangling and duelling.

Panting, Joel pulled back, his cheeky grin replaced with a slightly unsure look; a look Tony kissed off his lips.

“Thank you,” he whispered, pulling Joel onto his lap. “Joel, I…” He trailed off, bending down and kissing him again. “Let me make this up to you. Tell me how to make it up to you, Joel.”

Joel shook his head, leaning back against Tony’s chest, a content sigh as Tony wrapped his arms around him. “You don’t need to, Tony.”

“Yes, I do. I’ve fucked things up completely and I’ve hurt you. I have to make things right. But you need to tell me how.” Joel opened his mouth to protest but Tony kissed him quiet. “In fact, no. I have the perfect idea.” He picked Joel up and deposited him on the sofa with another quick kiss. “You stay here and I will be right back, ok?”