FAQ Time. (original) (raw)

To save myself the effort of answering the same questions over and over and over, I've decided to set up this half-assed FAQ.

How long have you been a dancer?
Eight years.

What made you decide to become a dancer?
When I turned 18, I was living in Amarillo, Texas, a small town consisting mainly of truck stops, bars, and boobie bars. Since I did ballet for years before that, I thought, 'Hey, why not?' It was quick cash in hand that I needed, and it was dancing I enjoyed. So I stuck with it.

OMG DOES THIS MEAN UR A HOOKER LOLZ?
No.

R U SURE CUZ MY [family member, pastor, hallucinatory pachyderm] SED THAT STRIPPERS WERE ALL HOOKERS!!!1
I'm sure. I'm the one doing the job, after all, so I think I'd know better what it entails then people that have never done the job.

Wait, I thought strippers were only strippers because they couldn't find other work?
Not true. I'm also a photographer. I've also held jobs as a restaurant manager, insurance adjuster, roofer, retail monkey, and wait staff lackey. True, being a dancer is a big help in the current economy since 'legit' jobs are harder to come by, but I am certainly capable of doing other work.

How much do they pay you to work there?
They don't pay me. Strippers are generally not paid, and actually have to pay the club to 'rent' the stage. We're considered 'independent contractors', legally. All I get are tips.

Are you married?
No. I do have a boyfriend, though.

And he lets you do this for a living?
Heh. We might be together, but we don't 'let' each other do things. I do what I want for a living, he does what he wants. He knows better than to try to push the issue.

You offend my religious/feminist sensitivities.
You offend my Darwinistic sensibilities. (If you don't like it, don't read.)

It doesn't seem like very hard work...
It is. Part of being a dancer is also being an actress-you have to seem glamorous, happy, and act like you're having fun; even if your dog just died and you didn't get any sleep last night and you're coming down with the bubonic plague. Doesn't matter-you -have- to act amused, happy, and at your ease.
And the actual dancing is hard too. You're up on miniature stilts, basically, for ten to fifteen minutes per set of constant dancing. You mustn't fall. And it's not just dancing-its dancing in a sexy manner. By the end of the night, your toes ache, your arches are killing you, and the muscles in your legs are painful, throbbing jelly. Your arms and shoulders are likely messed up too from the pole. Throw in any other possible injuries sustained (twisted ankles, messed up knees, bumped heads, scratches), and then tell me it isn't hard work. And that's not even taking into account the fact that you're half to fully naked in a bar full of grabby assholes.

Can I touch the dancers?
No. Some places may allow the dancers to touch -you-, but you should not touch the dancers. I know some girls don't have a problem with it, and they tend to be the ones that get the rest of us in trouble. Don't approach her as a 'stripper there to be grabbed', because if you do, you may end up a few limbs short. Just sayin.

I'm going to a boobie bar in my town soon. What are some good rules of thumb for being there?
Just basic stuff. Tip the dancers a few bucks, don't touch them, don't be rude-and do have fun :D

What do you -do- in an average night?
I get there. I get dressed. I put my music in. I go onstage. I dance. I get down, I go around for tips. I get changed. I go back up on stage. Etc. For four to twelve hours.

Wait, don't strippers only do the job because they're addicted to drugs/alcohol/gambling/sex/small pink hamsters?
...no. Most of the girls I've known have used dancing to work their way through college, or to support themselves, or like me, just cuz they like it :D

Do you have a bouncer?
At the club I am at right now, not really. What we do have is one big buff bartender man who doubles as a bouncer; but obviously he can't work every day, all day, so a lot of the time we fend for ourselves.

OMG! Aren't you scared?
Honestly? Not really. I've been in some tight spots with the girls in the past, and lemme tell ya, we bitches can brawl. We're not a bunch of pansy ass floofy flower ladies, after all. What we lack in size we make up in sheer numbers.

What kind/amount of tip is recommended?

How should the tip be given?

For stage dances, 1−1-1−2 should suffice, though higher denominations are welcomed :) If you wish to tip on top of the price of a private dance, it's sweet and the amount is totally up to you :) Tips placed in the side of thong OR between the boobies, depending on the club rules. That part is important-clubs in my current state allow the boob-tipping, but many other states do not. Make sure to check. Even in boob-tip states, you don't touch: You hold the bill on one end. The dancer positions herself so the other end is between her boobies, places her hands on them and pushes them together so bill will be held in place. You let go of bill. You get a closer look at the boobies, she puts the bill where she'd like to keep it while she continues dancing.

How likely is a dancer to request a specific song, should a customer ask for it (and tip)?

Very likely :) The likelihood goes up with the dollar amount, of course.

What type of music do you usually dance to? Any particular favorites?

Honestly, that's in constant flux. The genres I like are rock and alternative, though.

What do you think of the recent trendiness of stripping-themed workout books/videos/classes? Have they led to more amateurs thinking they can do your job better than you? If you've actually read/watched any of them, do you think they're actually any good?

Honestly? I think it's just a way for people to charge more for basic cardio =P And yeah, some women do labor under the delusion that one Carmen Electra 'striptease' video makes them the bestest strippar evar!!!1

I have watched several of the videos and researched the classes. They are an excellent source of exercise, packaged differently to appeal to those bored with traditional exercise, and I do support that. Not enough people do enough these days to stay healthy :(

What do you do during 'that time of the month'?

Tampons, of course. I cut the string off. /tmi

If a customer were to tip a dancer, say, $50 do you think it would freak her out?

It never freaks me out :) I just chalk it up to generosity and thank the customer profusely. I could see it freaking out a girl because most of the time, if a guy tips like that, it's because he wants something other than dancing.

Do strippers do special costumes for Halloween or anything?

Yes! Clubs usually have a Halloween party, where the girls and the customers dress up. It's great fun.

Roughly how old does a dancer usually become before circumstances necessitate that she "retires" from it (whether for reasons of losing her looks, her physical condition, or the joint flexibility that allows for dancing in 7-inch heels)? What are your plans for life once you get to that age?

Honestly? That all depends. Some women age very quickly, so they quit at 24 or 25. Some women age slowly, and don't have to quit until well into their 30's. The oldest dancer I know is in her 40's and still looks like a 20-something. Once I get too old to dance/tired of it, I plan on going back to my photography. Though, ideally, by that time I'll be married again and perhaps a mother-and so, a housewife. Much as I love to work, I'd honestly give it up in a second if it meant having a happy family :)

The stilts thing made me wonder.. do any dancers NOT wear high heels? Barefoot?

I freely admit to have done a set or two barefoot, but most clubs don't allow it. Many states have a 'no barefoot' rule for strip clubs. Weird, I know. Also, the heels push your legs and butt up, making them look more attractive, so pretty much all the dancers opt for them, though the heel size varies.

It seems issues such as drugs are notable in other somewhat "shady" industries. I know some of them are dramatically different to your occupation, but curiosity compels me to ask - how prominent are drugs, and how often does solicited sex occur with dancers, if at all?

Illegal drugs really aren't all that prominent. I'm sure if I really wanted some, someone would know someone who would know someone else. Honestly, the customers bring drugs in a hell of a lot more than dancers do-generally, if a dancer shows up fucked up, they're fired/sent home. Maybe 10% are real hard drug users, in my experience.

The solicited sex thing happens less than 10% of the time, in my experience. I've known a hooker or two in my time, and they are either fired when they're found out, or given special protection by the club, and then I quit that club. Damned if I'll work for a place that endorses that.

Do strippers ever see a guy in the audience and go "Damn, he's hot, wonder if I can get a date with him?" or ever see someone that makes you not want to take your clothes off "He's hot, I want to date him, I don't want him seeing the goods yet?"

Eh. We might describe a customer as 'the cute one', but it rarely goes beyond that. Personally, for myself, I might find a customer cute, but I'm not able to look at them as a prospect-my brain doesn't work like that.

The "I don't want him to see the goods yet" line of thinking is a bit silly for strippers in general-if you're going to date a guy, and you're honest, he'll know what you do for a living, so he'll see it eventually.

More to come once I think of more.