Thinking of You, for hologrphcbuddha, JJ/Prentiss,PG13 (original) (raw)

Title: Thinking of You
Author: xiotonks
Recipient: iamtheliquorr
Pairing: Jennifer Jareau/Emily Prentiss
Rating: PG13
Word Count: 2762
Warnings/spoilers: episode 6x02, “JJ”
Summary/prompt: JJ and Emily are trapped together until the rest of the team must find them. During this time, they're forced to address the tension that's been building between them.
A/N: Merry Christmas, iamtheliquorr!

I.
Hesitatingly, Emily’s knuckles touch the dark wood of the door. In her mind, she has already laid out 57 reasons why she should turn around and go back to her desk. Why she shouldn’t to talk to JJ. Not now, not about that. And not while she is still as confused and shocked as she is. 57 reasons why she shouldn’t try and confront a topic that both of them, though silently, agreed to never confront again.
She knocks again. At least, now, she can return to the bullpen and tell herself that she tried. Tried in vain but at least she tried to not let JJ leave without talking about what has happened and sorting things out.
She starts counting to 30 under her breath, again trying to wrap her mind around the fact, by the end of the week, the office behind the door will be empty and JJ no longer a member of the BAU. When she reaches 32 and there still hasn’t been an answer from inside the room, she turns to leave. Maybe she’s gone to see someone, to say good bye. Maybe she’s downstairs, fetching her things from the gym, or she is just gone down the hall to collect something she’s left in the conference room. What’s important, however, is that she’s not there. She’s not there and her office is empty.
But then, finally, when she has already begun making her way towards the stairs, she hears the door open.
“Emily?”
She can hear the fatigue in JJ’s voice. That would be reason 58. Slowly, hesitating again, she turns to face the other woman, who is now standing in the doorway of what remains her office for not more than a few more hours.“Yeah?”
“Was there something you wanted?”
She considers lying, the 58 reasons replaying in her head. Needling the worn carpet under her feet, she says, “No, I just… I wanted…” She looks up. JJ looks torn between exhaustion and amusement. Seeing Emily‘s glance, she raises an Eyebrow. “You just…?”

Emily sighs. “Yes. There was something I wanted. Do you have a moment?”
Interested now, JJ says “Sure…”, and steps aside to let Emily into her office.

“So?” JJ inquires after she’s shut the door behind them.
JJ’s office is the same chaos as ever. Files are piled on every surface that’s remotely flat enough for files to be piled on. For a split-second she wonders how JJ is even going to find her personal belongings in all this mess.
“It’s strange, isn’t it?” JJ says bitterly, having followed Emily’s eyes around the room. “We live in this building almost 24/7. And after a couple of years they suddenly expect us to fit our life in this” She nods to the half full cardboard box on her desk. “And to be honest, I’m not sure how I’m supposed to find everything I’ve left lying around here.”
“Need any help?” Emily asks. At least it gives her an excuse for staying here for a while.
JJ nods. “I guess I could do with someone else’s eyes. But that’s not why you’ve come up here. You said you wanted to talk.”
Shrugging, Emily replies, “aren’t women supposed to be so good at multitasking?”
“I’m not sure whether that doesn’t apply rather to things like talking on the phone and painting their toenails but if you’re sure it’s alright…” JJ laughs.

II.
If they didn’t get out of this forest and into dry surroundings any time soon, JJ couldn’t be held responsible for anything. The woods and the rain alone were bad enough, she didn’t even need the addition of an UNSUB that might be running around here somewhere, too. Carefully listening to anything that might sound like a third pair of feet, she didn’t take her eyes from the ground under her own, trying not to slip and deliberately ignoring the sway of Emily’s hips a few feet in front of her.
For more than a week they’d been stuck in New Hampshire, trying to track down a guy who had made abducting girls around 18 his favorite pastime.
JJ sighed. Spring in New England really wasn’t her thing. Especially not now, when she and Emily were trying to slither their way to the cave, which they suspected to be the place the first girl had been held.
“God damnit!” Emily suddenly called out, reaching out to the nearest trunk of a tree in the last second to keep herself from falling.
“Are you alright?” JJ asked, concerned. It had only been a matter of time before one of them slipped on the wet, muddy forest ground.
“I will be, when we reach the fucking cave. At least it’s dry in there.” Emily snapped. “I told Hotch it’d be no use going, trying to get here in this weather. If we’ve missed anything earlier and it’s not gone by now it will still be there when it’s stopped raining!”
“You know that he’s not going to keep Tasha forever, Emily. We need to find them and soon.” JJ reminded her.
“I do” Emily sighed. “You know I do. But we’ll be of no help finding them if we break our necks. Or freeze to death. I swear there’s not a dry piece of clothing on me by now.”
“Me, too” JJ admitted. “Come on. Let’s go. The sooner we’re there the sooner we can drive back and change.”
“And take a hot shower. Definitely take a hot shower. I’m not sure I feel my toes anymore.” Emily added.
Trying not to think about Emily taking a shower, JJ thought that her laugh sounded alarmingly false. The other woman, however, seemed not to have noticed. For Emily had already pushed herself away from the tree and resumed stumbling forward, still cursing under her breath.

JJ was glad that Emily had been the one to go ahead because she was sure that she wouldn’t have found the way. A few minutes later, however, Emily stopped walking and pointed to the rock face in front of them.
“Over there “ Emily said and waited for JJ to catch up. Together, they walked up to the bushes that hid the entrance of the cave. Slowly walking inside, careful not to slip on the wet rocks, JJ said, “Let me guess. We don’t know what we’re looking for but it’s something that tells as who he is and where he’s gone to?”
“Precisely” Emily said. “And we better find it soon. Both for Tasha’s sake and the sake of my toes. You take the right wall, I’ll take the left?”
Nodding, JJ took out her flashlight and set to work.
They hadn’t found anything 15 minutes later and they already advanced way into the spacious room, when Emily suddenly said, “I’m wondering whether…” The rest of the sentence was drowned by a loud bang, coming from the entrance of the cave. Startled by the explosion, JJ felt the flashlight slip from her hands and fall to the floor. The sudden darkness told her that Emily had lost hers, too.

III.
When the noise of rocks hitting rocks finally died down, the silence was deafening on Emily’s ears. ‘A bomb’ she thought, ‘he must have attached a bomb to the hole.’ She had noticed that part of the wall hadn’t been as smooth as the rest of the surface. There’d been a gap in the rock, just big enough for her to put her fingers in and pull. A part of the rock hat came out, revealing a small hole behind it that was filled with 3 or 4 books. Before she even had the time to fully register what she was seeing, the bomb had gone off. The entrance of the cave had exploded and the rock hat burst. Judging by what little light still came in, the complete entrance had been blocked by fragments of the rock face.
“Emily?” she heard JJ whisper fearfully. Then louder, “Emily? Are you alright?”
She took a deep breath. “Yes, I’m fine. Are you okay?”
“Me, too.” JJ replied. “What the hell just happened?”
“There’s a hole in the wall. I think me opening it caused the explosion.” Emily said.
“Do you still have your flashlight?” JJ asked.
“I dropped it.” Emily sighed. She kneeled down and started to feel around on the floor to find it.
“So did I”
The sound of hands that slowly slid over the ground told Emily that JJ, too, was looking for the flashlights. Emily’s hand collided with cold metal. Wrapping her fingers around the lamp, she tried switching it on. The quiet ‘click’ echoed in the silence.

“It’s broken” She moaned.
She could hear the same noise from the opposite wall. Still there was no light. “Mine, too.” JJ said resigned.
“What now?” Emily asked, trying to swallow the panic that was rising like bile in her throat. How were they supposed to get those rocks out of the way without seeing anything?
“Now we wait.” JJ decided, sounding a lot more resolute than Emily felt.
“We wait?” Emily demanded. “Wait for what? For the UNSUB? Until we freeze? Until we suffocate?” How could they wait? They needed to get out of here. They needed to get out of their wet clothes. They needed to tell Hotch about the journals. They needed…
“We wait for the team.” JJ said simply.
“How are they supposed to find us here? We are in the middle of nowhere, JJ!” Emily was sure that the air in the cave was already becoming dangerously thin. She already felt like she couldn’t breathe anymore.
“Emily! Emily, calm down.” JJ said decidedly. “We are where Hotch told us to go and they’re going to notice when we won’t be back soon.”
A few minutes later, JJ had finally managed to calm her down. Also, she had felt her way over to Emily’s side of the wall, where they sat now, silently, with their backs against the rock. Next to her, Emily could feel JJ shiver first slightly then more and more violently.
“Just how wet are your clothes?” she demanded, having the feeling that although she hadn’t said anything, JJ was feeling even more cold than she.
“I think my sweater is mostly dry but my pants and shoes are soaked”, the blonde replied with chattering teeth.
“Take them off” Emily said, unzipping her raincoat. She wasn’t exactly comfortable with the thought of having JJ half naked beside her but right now, it was more important that neither of them caught pneumonia.
“What?” JJ asked, startled.
“You heard me. Take the wet things off. If we have to spend some time here we better not do it in ice cold clothes.”
Careful, making sure that the still dry lining didn’t become wet, too, Emily placed her coat next to her on the floor. Beside her, JJ had started to take her pants off. Needing something to busy her hands, Emily started untying her shoes deliberately slow. While her pants, too, were soaked, at least her feet were more or less dry. Frozen, yes, but they could still be counted as dry. When she had shed her wet pants beside her, she asked JJ to hand her the other woman’s rain jacket. Putting it down with the wet side towards the floor, she sat down on the linen and pulled JJ down beside her. Taking JJ in her arms, she covered them both with her own raincoat.

IV.
30 minutes later there was still no sign of the team and JJ started feeling slightly anxious. While the shivering was gone and her teeth weren’t chattering anymore, with the increasing warmth it became more and more difficult to ignore the feeling of Emily’s naked legs against her own.
“Emily?” she asked.
“Hm?” came the murmured reply.
“Do you think they’ve started looking yet?” Behind her, she felt Emily straightening a little, putting a few inches between the warmth of her stomach and JJ’s back. The blonde immediately felt cold again.
“I don’t know, Jayj.” Emily whispered. “I really don’t know.”
JJ nodded. She didn’t think so either. Settling back against Emily again, JJ whispered, “I’m glad you’re here with me, Em.”
She could hear a sharp intake of breath behind her. “Of all the people to be stuck with, I’m glad it’s you, too.” Emily finally answered, her voice shaking slightly.
Alarmed, she turned her head towards the brunette. “What’s the matter, Em?”
“It’s nothing”, Emily said much too quickly for JJ to believe her.
“I don’t believe you.”
She felt her sigh. Felt Emily bury her face in her shoulder. They were quiet for a while.
Eventually, JJ could feel as well as hear the deep breath Emily took. “I watch you sometimes, JJ.” She whispered. “And sometimes I feel you watching me.” She took another deep breath before she continued more loudly “And then I start wondering how long we are going to continue this dance. How long we are going to continue pretending . And what it is going to take to stop both of us acting as if we didn’t think about the other, too. “
“God, Emily!”JJ felt slightly dizzy. She was not sure if she liked the direction this was going or not.
She felt Emily’s breath brush against her hair as the brunette leaned even closer to her. “I can’t stop thinking about you, Jennifer!” Emily whispered right next to her ear.
“Oh God, Emily…” JJ gasped, her hand finding Emily’s under the coat and grasping it tight.
“And I know you’re thinking about me, too, JJ. I can see it in your eyes when you think nobody’s watching. “
“Emily…” JJ whispered, tilting her head backwards, trying to look at her despite the darkness surrounding them. “Emily, stop talking.”
Suddenly it felt so very natural to find the other woman’s lips with her own. It felt so natural to fully turn around in Emily’s arms and devour her mouth with the sweetest kisses. And it felt so right when eventually Emily’s fingers touched her. First her neck, then, later, inside her sweater and finally where she wanted them most.
“Emily!” She sighed into the brunette’s neck.
“Jennifer”
“Oh God. Emily! ... Emily!”

V.

Putting the framed picture of her, Garcia and JJ, that Garcia gave JJ last year as a Christmas present, into the cardboard boy, Emily says, “I think that’s all, isn’t it?”
Startled, JJ looks at her, “Already?”
“I’m pretty sure.” Emily shrugs, gesturing around the office. “At least I don’t see anything else.”
Touching her eyes, JJ sighs, “I still don’t how I’m supposed to just walk out of here, you know…”
“Yeah” Emily says, awkwardly staring at her hands. “I know.”
Not knowing what to say, both of them stare at Emily’s fidgeting hands for a few moments.
“I’m sorry , Emily!” JJ finally says.
Surprised, Emily looks up at JJ’s face. “What for?”
“That it didn’t work out. That I didn’t make a greater effort after New Hampshire…”
A few seconds, they just look at each other.
“I’m sorry, too. For the same reasons.”
Silence again. “I’m going to miss you”, Emily suddenly blurts out and surprises both of them by pulling JJ into her arms and burying her face in blond hair. “I’m going to miss you.” She repeats.
Too tired for anything else, JJ simply holds her. “Will you call me, if I’ve left something here?” she asks into Emily’s shoulder.
Sniffling , Emily nods. “Sure.”
After some minutes, they part.
“I guess I better get going before I really start crying” JJ jokes weakly and picks up the box from the desk. “Good bye, Emily…” she whispers, eyes suddenly bright. And then JJ turns around and leaves Emily standing alone in what used to be her own office.
The brunette needs a minute to will the tears to stop coming. When they do, she turns around to have a last look at the room as JJ’s office. When her eyes fall unto the desk, she pauses. With two strides she’s reached it, taking the picture frame in her hands. The happy faces of JJ, Garcia and herself grin up at her. Hasting into the corridor, she calls “JJ, wait!” But Jennifer Jareau has already left the bullpen and is probably on her way down to the lobby.
Sighing again, Emily contemplates the picture in her hands. Then, suddenly, she smiles. Taking it with her, she went to collect her bag from her desk. She’d call Jennifer tomorrow.