FIC: Burning Through Scars of the Past 1/7 - R (original) (raw)
Burning Through Scars of the Past 1/7
Summary: Twenty years after Ed and Al disappeared through the gate they show up back in Amestris, deep under Central, barely alive. Roy struggles to understand what’s happened on the other side to break the bond between the brothers and to understand this new man Ed’s become.
AUTHOR: 
catw00man
RATING: R
CHARACTERS: Roy Mustang/Edward Elric, Winry Rockbell, Alphonse Elric, Riza Hawkeye & some OCs
CHALLENGE: Written for the 2012 round of 
fmabigbang
COMPLETED: Feb 19, 2013
WORD COUNT: 3,421 (Chapter), 31,442 (Overall)
DISCLAIMER: The characters portrayed within are not mine. This is merely a loving response to the original work.
AUTHOR'S NOTE: This story is inspired by an amazing piece of art created by the very talented artist RemaintoBreathe. I was thrilled to have the chance to work with her and you can see her lovely art at the the end of the last chapter. A big thanks to her for inspiring me and challenging me to write a story based in the first FMA anime universe! This is set about 20 years after the movie CoS.
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AO3 |
Chapter 1
If there’s one person in this world he doesn’t like to ask a favor of it’s Winry Rockbell. But when both the boys disappeared through the gate, he had no choice. Neither of them left him one. All he was left with was Alphonse shouting at him to make sure the portal was sealed as he leaped over to the flying machine his brother was on and disappeared from the their world probably for the last time. There was nothing but trust in Al’s eyes as he grinned and called him General once more even though Roy had already told him he was no longer that man. So he was left to carry out his task without knowing a thing about it.
He knows plenty about alchemy, more than most alchemists with his mastery of fire and air. But gates and portals to other worlds? That’s not something he’d ever seen in all his years of research. Turns out you don’t have much time for recreational study of the obscure when you’re working your way to the top. Maybe it’s something he should have taken up when he relinquished his rank, but how could he have ever known what things would come? That’s why he had to go to Miss Rockbell, head bowed in shame, to ask for any notes Alphonse had left behind.
Surprisingly, she didn’t throw him out immediately. Even more surprising she was willing to help and had the resources he needed, or at least enough to get him started. It took three months of going through Al’s notes along with those Al had somehow collected of his father’s before Roy felt like he had a real idea about what happened. It took another two before he felt he knew enough to do what they asked. But it took another thirty three more days before he finally felt he could do it. He was locking the door behind them and it was no easy task.
Alchemically it wasn’t difficult. Any half decent alchemist probably could’ve handled it. But to know he was taking the option away from them from ever coming home was another story altogether. That’s why he left the tiniest loophole open, even though he knew the chances of it being used were more than a little slim. The boys made their choice without looking back. That’s the way it should have ended. How horrible is it that he’s glad it wasn’t the end of the story?
“The alchemy of this world is fed by the energy of the gate.”
Roy traces his finger tips over the faded, nearly illegible old world script. For months he had no idea what that line actually meant. It was a nebulous concept, the way the source of alchemy has always been. Equivalent exchange was all that mattered, the actual source of the power to make that exchange was nothing he was ever taught or even considered. But once he knew there was another world somehow tied to this one…the implications were all too clear, especially after seeing how a Philosopher’s Stone is made.
The power had to come from blood, same as on this side.
The very thought nearly had him giving up alchemy once again and climbing back up on that frozen mountain of ice. But he couldn’t do it, not after seeing the determination in Ed’s eyes when he left to protect a world that wasn’t even his own. He could have stayed, but he chose to follow a greater cause than his own desires. How could Roy do anything less? Death would come to people on the other side regardless of whether or not he spent their energies on alchemy or not. So why not honor them by trying to make this world better? It was an easy decision to make. But now he has to wonder, what great tragedy occurred on the other side to have enough power to bring them both home?
“Sir?”
Roy closes the old, battered research journal and looks up at his Major’s pensive face. He shifts in the hard hospital waiting room chair and sits up straighter. She looks concerned, but not distressed. Hopefully that means the boys, no, men are in better shape than when he found them. He nods and folds his hands over the leather bound book. “Yes, Hawkeye, any news?”
“Yes, sir. They’re sleeping now, but it looks like they’ll both pull through. It’s good you found them in time.” Roy can read in her eyes what she’s not saying and he has no inclination to fill her in on exactly why he was down in the lost city underneath Central. He’s visited the site the same as he visits Hughes’ grave nearly each and every month for twenty years. He’s only glad he chose today to make the trip down. If he’d waited any longer neither of them would’ve stood a chance.
“Have you spoken to the doctors?” Roy runs his hand over the aged leather of the book. He’d sent Fuery to get it from his place sometime when Ed and Al were in surgery. He couldn’t bear to leave the hospital himself. As it is it must be sometime in the middle of the night, but he hasn’t bothered to look at his pocket watch. Time hasn’t mattered, only the condition of the two men he found face down in twin pools of blood.
“Yes, sir. The doctor was reluctant, but he said you could see them.” She shifts on her feet and he easily reads the exhaustion on her face. She’s been here ever since he called her to help get them to the hospital. She’s done more than enough for the night but he knows she wouldn’t have been anywhere else. She even took on the task of contacting the only family they have left. Thankfully it should only take Winry about two or three days to get here.
“Thank you, Major. As usual you’ve been invaluable.” Roy tucks the journal under his arm and stands. He takes a moment to stretch his stiff back when he notices Hawkeye’s curious look. “You should head home and get some rest.” Her eyes harden stubbornly and he reaches out to put a hand on her shoulder. “I’ll be doing the same shortly. There’s nothing else you can do here.” Her eyes lock with his single uncovered one and he knows that look. She won’t leave without laying down some type of condition.
“As long as you understand it’s the same for you, sir.” Her hard stare doesn’t waver and he can only imagine what she might be thinking. But she doesn’t need to worry. He won’t be giving up again any time soon. “You’ve already saved their lives. You shouldn’t forget that.”
Roy smiles and gives her a short nod. “Duly noted, Major.” He senses her reluctance in leaving without him, but she doesn’t need to worry. Yes, it was stubborn of him to insist on seeing them now, but as soon as he does he’ll be on his way as well. He just…needs to see himself that they aren’t still motionless, pale, and covered in blood.
Hawkeye gives him another long stare followed by a quick nod. “The nurse in the intensive care unit has been instructed to take you to their room.” Her eyes soften as she looks toward the closed ICU doors before turning on her heel to leave. She makes her way toward the hospital exit and Roy doesn’t miss the slump of her shoulders. He feels the same way. There’s no possible reason these two should have to suffer any more.
Roy takes a deep breath once Hawkeye’s out of sight and turns for the ICU doors. He presses a lever on the wall to unlock the double doors then pushes his way inside. The sharp smell of disinfectant instantly greets him as does a harried looking nurse. She takes one look at him and for a moment Roy’s afraid she throw him out and he has the feeling he wouldn’t be able to stop her.
“You’re the Colonel?” Roy nods at the clipped words and forces himself not to wince under the older woman’s piercing stare. She obviously doesn’t agree with his admittance into the ICU but apparently his rank does still hold some weight as she’s not escorting him to the door. “Come on then,” she says in a no nonsense tone as she quickly turns and heads across the large room filled with the sounds of medical equipment and little else. Roy hurries after her and barely gets a chance to glance at the rooms with front walls made of glass presumably so the nurses can keep a close eye on the inhabitants.
The nurse escorts him to a slightly larger room in the back of the unit which has a little more privacy with long hanging curtains that cover part of the wall of windows. Apparently they are more stable as Hawkeye insinuated if they are further away from the main nurse’s station. He breathes a soft sigh of relief as she leads him inside, but that respite is short lived the instant he lays eyes on their motionless forms.
“Don’t take long. If you do I’ll be back to escort you out.” Roy forces himself to tear his attention away from much too pale skin against unbound golden hair. He nods to the nurse who’s face surprisingly softens a fraction. Is his own concern that evident? “Just make it quick,” she adds in a gentler tone then turns to get back to her work leaving him alone with both of them.
The room isn’t very large, but it’s plenty spacious enough for both twin beds without having them crammed against each other. He’s a little surprised they listened to his demands they be kept together, but maybe even the doctors could tell these two shouldn’t be separated. Roy shifts the journal under his arm then takes a hesitant step closer to the young man who used to be his most unruly subordinate. It feels like a lifetime ago, and from the look of him, maybe it was.
Ed’s still long hair flares out over the stark white of the pillow and Roy doesn’t miss how his usual tanned skin has lost it’s golden glow. Initially he thought it was from his condition, but on closer inspection he can tell it’s his actual skin tone. This other world he’s been in must’ve kept him out of the sun. He’s not sure why, but somehow the fact he’s been shut away from the warm touch of the sun makes his chest ache in sympathy. Ed was always larger than life and to see him like this just feels wrong. A clean white sheet that matches the spotless pillow covers him and spares Roy the sight of the bandages he knows are under the light blue hospital shirt he’s wearing. How? How did it come to this?
In the last several years Roy’s researched everything he could come across about the gate and from the small amount of information he found he knows without a doubt he shouldn’t be here. He knows Alphonse created a bridge to the other place using the lives of two homunculi, and considering there were no others like them remaining in Amestris there shouldn’t have been a way to open it from this side. Al had babbled that he needed to permanently seal the connection between worlds and he tried, but he always felt the actual bridge was too strong to be completely destroyed. It seems now he might have been right.
Roy reaches out and curls his fingers around the metal railing on the side of Ed’s bed. His breathing is slow and even. That should ease Roy’s fears, but somehow it doesn’t. He’s never seen Ed look this vulnerable and the sight twists at his gut more than he ever imagined it would. He’d give anything right now to see those golden eyes open and spark with anger at him for not holding up his end of the bargain. He’d even take his hatred now if only it meant Ed was alright and undamaged, but he has a feeling even if he did wake he’d be far from unscathed. He’s not sure what happened, but he can tell these wounds are much deeper than physical.
He stares at the motionless form and doesn’t miss the extra lines in his face even in sleep. He should be relaxed in this state, but Roy knows that look all too well. He’s seen it in the mirror for years and his heart aches for him. What happened on the other side and why has Ed obviously brought the pain back with him? Roy knows it has to do with the fact that without alchemy, and without an extreme source of power like the life of a homunculus there’s no way the gate should have opened even with the tiny crack he left in the bridge between worlds. Only something truly horrible could have wrenched open those doors. Roy bows his head at the thought then turns for the door. People who care for them should be arriving soon. He should get out of their way.
He makes it halfway to the door before a weak sound behind him makes his heart nearly stop beating in his chest.
“General? That you…?”
The voice is so rough and weak he hardly recognizes it, but in the same breath he knows he’d recognize it even if he were deaf, dumb and blind. He’s never forgotten him. He never could. Roy turns to find a tired golden gaze locked on him and once again his breath catches. He forces himself to swallow then clears his throat before answering. “It’s Colonel now.”
Ed blinks and he wouldn’t be surprised if he didn’t process his words at all. He doubts Ed even noticed he’d given up his rank the last time they saw each other. There wasn’t time. It’s actually only in the last six months that he regained his rank of Colonel, not that it matters now. He’s still trying to keep moving forward, but when your name is tied to potential coups and the suspected murder of the Fuhrer, no matter how well warranted, promotions aren’t as easy to come by.
“You didn’t…seal the gate.” Ed coughs raggedly then winces as his body jerks from the exertion. Roy takes a step forward but then freezes when Ed’s eyes narrow and lock on him again. “Bastard.”
“You realize you didn’t leave me with an instruction manual.” The sardonic words slip from his lips too easily and he instantly regrets them. Ed’s lucky to be alive, he doesn’t need to be mocking him now. Ed’s face hardens a bit more and Roy takes a breath as he attempts to find the words to explain. “I did destroy the arrays, Edward. I burned them completely out of existence and then some. The bridge was closed in Central and in Lior.”
The burning of the array in Lior actually ushered in his reinstatement to the military as a Major. No one in the military could explain how the gates opened in the first place, much less how to keep them closed. His ability to do so was controversial as was the fact he wouldn’t completely turn over all his research on the topic. He only shared enough to explain what happened, but not enough to recreate it. He burned nearly all references to the phenomena as well once both of the arrays were destroyed completely. The only thing he kept was this one compiled research journal and only for the fact it had notes from Hoenheim, Alphonse and Edward. It didn’t contain enough information to open the gate, but he still couldn’t cut this last tie he had to them.
“Yeah…” Ed coughs again and Roy turns to the nurses cart behind him to pour a small cup of water. He carefully hands it to Ed who takes a slow slip before locking his eyes on Roy once again. “You did something else. If there was no anchor…it shouldn’t have….”
Ed’s voice wavers and Roy smiles slightly. To be honest he didn’t even think his “loophole” would work. It was nothing but theory, but it was something he had to at least try. It took him months to work it out and even longer to practice with his flame to make sure the one tiny array drawn in blood wouldn’t be completely seared away. In all honesty he’d thought he’d failed, but Ed’s presence is evidence of how wrong he was.
“The only anchor was your blood.” The words are flat and even by necessity because even now he can still see Ed face down in his own blood. The gate never would have opened any other way, but that doesn’t mean he has to like it. Ed’s eyes widen in question and Roy sighs softly and bows his head before continuing. “During the fight under Central City you were wounded. I collected and alchemically rehydrated your blood.” He hears Ed’s sharp intake of breath and he can’t look him directly in the eyes. They asked him to seal the door, but he couldn’t, not without leaving a tiny crack. “I used it to create an anchor that could only be opened….”
“With my blood.”
Roy nods and a sharp knife of fear stabs through him. Is it possible someone on the other side somehow knew what he’d done? He didn’t think there was any chance…but could it be why Ed and Al ended up here nearly bled to death? Was he the cause for their pain? What has he done? The gate didn’t seem to still be open when he found them, but it’s not like he gave it much attention. He thought the crack was only enough for Ed, but Al’s here too. Did he unleash something more?
“Edward, I’m sorry. If I caused thi—”
“You didn’t.” The words are sharp and harsh and Roy jerks his head up to look at him at their bitterness. There’s pain and disgust on Ed’s face that he can tell run much deeper than their short conversation. It reminds him of his thoughts about some great tragedy on the other side to fuel their way home. He wants to know, but there’s no way he’d consider asking. Not now.
Ed’s looking away from him now and it’s only after a moment that he realizes he’s looking away from Al too. He’s staring straight at the wall to his left which shouldn’t be strange considering he obviously doesn’t want to look at Roy. But somehow it seems he doesn’t want to look at his brother either. He could be imagining things, but is Ed’s body slightly turned away from Al as well? Roy shakes his head and takes a step back. He has no right to be analyzing them. Maybe they didn’t want to be back here at all.
“I’m sorry. I’ll….” His words trail off because he doesn’t know what else to say. Roy turns toward the door and focuses his gaze downward. He should leave them in peace. He saw what he came to see and now he should get out of their way. Chances are he’s the last person Ed wants to see anyway.
“Mustang.”
Roy pauses in the doorway, but doesn’t look back. He doesn’t want to see one of a million things on Ed’s face that would probably end in animosity directed at him. He rests his free hand on the door frame as he curls his other around the journal under his arm. He clears his throat and finally manages to answer softly, “Yes?”
“Thank you.”
Roy’s head whips around and he’s instantly stilled by the anguished look on Ed’s face. But that’s not what makes his chest grow tight with sudden emotion. It’s the unmistakable look of gratitude in his eyes that nearly bring a tear to his own. He doesn’t know what happened to him in that other place, but right now he has no doubt that this is where he wants to be. Roy nods, unable to find words, then heads out of the room. He may not have done many things right in his life, but right now he whispers thank yous to any deity that might be listening that he left Ed a way back home.