First half good, second half not bad either | World Cup 2006 (original) (raw)
Sean Ingle
Best player Fabio Cannavaro. Immaculate from first kick to last. Even during those chaotic moments following Marco Materazzi's dismissal against Australia, when a befuddled Genaro Gattusso was briefly deployed at centre-back, he had liquid nitrogen in his veins.
Worst player Ronaldinho. Many of the game's elite only glimmered in Germany, but for the best player in the world to offer so little, so often, was staggering.
Biggest gripe Fifa's refusal to tackle diving or feigning injury - something instant video evidence would cut at a stroke. They're also to blame for the new super-light ball that led, predictably, to poor crossing and shots ballooning into the stands.
Biggest joy Argentina's Esteban Cambiasso's slotting home after that 24-pass PlayStation move against Serbia and Montenegro.
Best match Italy v Germany ranked highest for quality, obviously. But the best game I saw in the flesh was Australia's 2-2 draw with Croatia. It had everything - goals, see-sawing drama and Graham Poll.
Worst match Portugal v Holland. A grim fandago of kicking, cards and negative football. It should have been so much better.
Best quote "It's as much a lie that I'm fat as it must be that he drinks a lot" - Ronaldo responds after Brazil president Luiz Inacio Lula da Silva had demanded of the selecao's coach Carlos Alberto Parreira: "So, what is it? Is he fat or not?"
England's performance in one word Dire.
Team of the tournament (4-2-3-1) Buffon, Zambrotta, Thuram, Cannavaro, Lahm; Vieira, Pirlo, Robben, Rodríguez, Riquelme; Henry.
Barry Glendenning
Best player Fabio Cannav ... ah, boring. At the risk of turning my keyboard all gloopy, I'll go for Chris Birchall, a League One player who got to live the dream and rarely looked out of place in it.
Worst player David Beckham. He may have scored one-and-a-half goals and set up another, but the England captain shouldn't have been picked and personified all that was wrong with England going into these World Cup finals. His unshakable belief that it was his destiny to lift the World Cup was arrogance based on a disregard for all available evidence to the contrary. If his on-field performances had been half as polished as the carefully stage-managed resignation from the captaincy that enabled him to flee to the sound of applause rather than hard questions, England might not have been so dismal.
Biggest gripe Alan Shearer's hand-wringing on the BBC. Listening to punditry's answer to drizzle in Milton Keynes wail about cheating foreigners while conveniently overlooking the dishonesty of his compatriots was bad. Hearing him sermonise on the subject of Zinedine Zidane's tarnished legacy was nothing short of nauseating. At least now Shearer might be remembered as a sanctimonious, hypocritical bore, rather than a surly bloke with wayward elbows who once tried to kick Neil Lennon's head clean off his shoulders.
Biggest joy Mascherano - Rodríguez - Riquelme - Sorin - Riquelme - Sorin - Mascherano - Rodríguez - Ayala - Cambiasso - Mascherano - Rodríguez - Sorin - Rodríguez - Cambiasso - Riquelme - Mascherano - Sorin - Saviola - Riquelme - Saviola - Cambiasso - Crespo - Cambiasso - GOAL!
Best match Portugal 1 - 0 Holland. Sixteen yellow cards. Four red cards. Khalid Boulahrouz's atttempt to remove Cristiano Ronaldo's leg. Deco's scything tackle on Dutch defender Johnny Heitinga for not giving the ball back. No end of cheating, diving and brawling. Deco, Van Bronckhorst and Boulahrouz discussing the referee's shortcomings on what one Fiver correspondent dubbed "the naughty step". A fine goal ... Sunday evenings haven't been this entertaining since they stopped making Monarch Of The Glen.
Worst match Switzerland 0 - 0 Ukraine, because I'm not getting any younger and that's 120 minutes I won't get back. The fact that the Republic of Ireland should have been there instead of the Swiss made it all the more depressing.
Best quote "Thats the first time I¹ve seen sex between two men on the BBC" - RTE pundit Eamon Dunphy's take on Garth Crooks's sycophantic post-match interview with Sven in the wake of England's second-round win against Ecuador.
England's performance in one word Unsurprising.
Team of the tournament (34-23-25) Tweedy; Curran, Zucker, Rives, Beckham (c); Roughead, Perroncel, Slade, Clancy; Poole, McLoughlin. Manager: Del Ollio.
Paul Doyle
Best player Gianluca Zambrotta: dynamic and stylish on the left or right, and in defence or attack. Effectively a one-man five-a-side team.
Worst player Arjen Robben. So selfish in possession he made less passes than a Mensa-member on Mastermind, and dived disgracefully whenever he looked like losing the ball.
Biggest gripe The shame of Holland. How could the country that spawned Total Football and was led by the once-elegant Marco 'The Swan' van Basten send out such a disgusting team of hatchetmen and divers?
Biggest joy That Ghana captain Stephen Appiah won the battle of ideas with manager Ratomir Djukovic, convincing him to renounce the defensive dogma that had shackled his side during the African Cup of Nations. Instead the Black Stars went all-out attack. They were the bravest, most swashbuckling team of the tournament. Pity they couldn't shoot.
Best match Ghana 2 - 0 Czech Republic. The teams took it in turns to attack in waves and but for sublime goalkeeping, dreadful luck and even worse finishing, there would have been 20 goals. Defending may have been shoddy but in a tournament deflated by negativity, this was exhilarating.
Worst match England v Sweden or Ukraine v Switzerland: damning proof that Europe is over-represented.
Best quote "Figo, who's never anything but" - John Motson concisely showcases his increasingly annoying mastery of total gibberish.
England's performance in one word Kournikova.
Team of the tournament (4-4-2) Ricardo; Grygera, Hurtado, Marquez, Zambrotta; Ribéry, Yaya Touré, Pirlo, Muntari; Mohamed Kader, Torres.
Georgina Turner
Best player Fabio Cannavaro. He was everywhere the opposition didn't want him to be, hoofed the ball well clear when the occasion demanded it, played it out with consummate ease when it didn't and even had a couple of chances on goal.
Worst player Rumours of Luis Figo's renaissance were greatly exaggerated. Too busy rolling around on the floor to match fellow ageing midfield maestro Zinedine Zidane's performances pre-chestbutt.
Biggest gripe Sepp Blatter auditioning for a slot at the Comedy Store with his chuckled suggestion that referee Valentin Ivanov should have been shown a yellow card himself for going to his pocket so many times during Portugal's bout with Holland. About two weeks after asking his henchmen to get tough on bad tackles and play-acting.
Biggest joy It's virtually impossible to say without sounding patronising, but watching Ghana, Ivory Coast and Australia play was a real highlight. While some of the old order played within themselves even as far as the second round, these teams played every game to win and, unlike England, even managed to look like they were enjoying themselves.
Best match The obvious candidates will be picked out elsewhere, so how about this minor classic: Argentina 2 - 1 Mexico. Mexico shed their group-stage sluggishness and pushed Argentina into a belter from start to finish. Both teams were terrific on the ball and Maxi Rodríguez's wündergoal capped a fine evening.
Worst match France 0 - 0 Switzerland was an encounter completely without charm. The French were at their one-dimensional worst and the Swiss still couldn't rouse themselves to go for a win.
Best quote "Over the years, there has been a small number of television people and discerning members of the public whose opinions I have listened to. They tell me this is my best World Cup ever" - BBC voice John Motson must be mixing in ever-decreasing circles these days.
England's performance in one word Rudderless.
Team of the tournament (4-4-2) Lehmann; Miguel, Marquez, Cannavaro, Lahm; Maxi, Zidane, Maniche, Kaka; Klose, Torres.
Scott Murray
Best player Maxi Rodríguez exuded none of the Pringles-flicking twatbluster of the world's galacticos, yet in slaying Mexico was the only man to actually play like one. Contrary to received wisdom, Esteban Cambiasso's 24-pass goal wasn't the best of the tournament; it wasn't even the best by his own team.
Worst player According to Michael Owen, England were the "best team in the tournament, player for player". Eh? His brain must be located in that knee. All that pre-tournament hubris would have shamed even the 1978 Scotland squad, and the subsequent farce could be summed up by the non-performances of one man: Frank Lampard.
Biggest gripe Apart from the pathetic-but-revealing countrywide vendetta against Cristiano Ronaldo, the most irritating thing about WC06 was the decision by BBC-funded UKTVG2 to hire Ron Atkinson. It's now OK for the state broadcaster to employ known xenophobes, is it?
Biggest joy The thundering non-event that was Brazil. They were useless. So can we drop this Joga Bonito samba-dancing charade once and for all, then?
Best match Australia 2 - 2 Croatia. A searing free-kick. A goalkeeping nervous breakdown. A dramatic comeback. And an entertainer from Tring throwing custard pies from the window of his collapsing car. Lovely.
Worst match England 2 - 0 Trinidad & Tobago. A tedious travesty of a result. The England fans who had the audacity to celebrate with a rousing chorus of "football's coming home" want to have a good think. And then maybe a long look.
Best quote "Look, we need to turn this around. The press are destroying us! This whole thing's going down the shitter!" - a member of ITV4's World Cuppa production team overheard panicking in the LWT canteen? Or Sven-Goran Eriksson after the Trinidad & Tobago match? It could be either, couldn't it.
England's performance in one word Allymcleod.
Team of the tournament (4-5-1) Lehmann; Edwards, Cannavaro, Ayala, Grosso; Rodríguez, Maniche, Zinha, Pirlo, C Ronaldo; Crespo.
Mike Adamson
Best player Fabio Cannavaro. In a competition that was dominated by defenders, he was the leading light. Despite losing his partner Alessandro Nesta, the Italian captain marshalled the back four brilliantly, allowing just one own goal and one penalty to break their rearguard. He now deserves to be ranked alongside compatriots Franco Baresi and Paolo Maldini.
Worst player Nikola Zigic - Serbia and Montenegro's much-hyped answer to Peter Crouch, only much, much worse. A 6ft 7in striker who doesn't have a good touch for a big man, can't do a robot dance ... in fact, can't do anything. No wonder West Ham plumped for, er, Carlton Cole instead.
Biggest gripe Assuming I'm not allowed to say Alton Towers, it has to be England. After every game we were promised - and some of us believed - that the supposed golden generation would improve when the stakes were upped. Being in Gelsenkirchen when they again showed a lack of penalty-taking prowess was, though memorable, a thoroughly deflating experience.
Biggest joy Fabio Grosso's late extra-time strike against Germany. Desperate to avoid probable defeat on penalties, the Italians piled forward and were justly rewarded by the left-back's glorious curler. His Tardelli-esque celebration was as memorable as James Richardson's in the GU office.
Best match Italy v Germany. This was what high-quality modern football should be all about: two teams with a well-organised base, playing at a positive high tempo in a bid to exploit flaws in the opposition. There were no goals in the first 118 minutes, but the attitude, technique and tension were exhilarating, while the ending was certainly worth waiting for.
Worst match Ukraine v Switzerland. The most painful minute-by-minute imaginable, brightened up only marginally by occasional emails informing of Miss Marple's progress. Even the penalty shoot-out was woeful.
Best quote "Italy will pay for this chaos at the World Cup" - Franz Beckenbauer's astute prediction before the Azzurri's first match against Ghana.
England's performance in one word Wink.
Team of the tournament (4-2-3-1) Buffon; Zambrotta, Marquez, Cannavaro, Lahm; Pirlo, Gattuso; C Ronaldo, Riquelme, Zidane; Klose.
James Dart
Best player The fact Fabio Cannavaro had this award sewn up by the quarter-final stage emphasises how few performances of individual greatness there were. Even being preposterously linked with a move to Fulham midway through the tournament couldn't put him off his imperious stride; he simply didn't put a foot wrong.
Worst player Ronaldinho. The only player at the World Cup to have a statue of himself torched by disillusioned supporters. Says it all, really.
Biggest gripe Why does Thierry Henry, arguably the greatest player on the planet, have to cheat? A sorry state of affairs for the 'beautiful game'. The number of dead rubbers was also a major blight, terminally derailing the tournament just as it found its stride.
Biggest joy The look of dejection on Ian Wright's face when England were eliminated. His ramblings of a three-year-old almost single-handedly turned me from being an England supporter during the tournament.
Best match I challenge anyone to sit through a replay of Portugal v Holland and not chuckle themselves senseless. With two cheat-heavy sides, four red cards, 16 more bookings (including Deco's foul of the tournament for his premeditated assault on Heitinga), and Whose Line Is It Anyway funnyman Ryan Stiles at the centre of it all, this was always going to be watercooler football at its best.
Worst match There was a certain masochistic intrigue to Switzerland-Ukraine so, instead, it has to be either England-Paraguay, England-Ecuador, or England-Portugal. Sit back and look at the games objectively, and there's simply no argument.
Best quote "My tournament might be over, but I still want that medal around my neck. I told Sven-Goran Eriksson that I would be back out for the World Cup final. I haven't given up hope of seeing him again on July 9" - exactly how much morphine was Michael Owen given after his knee injury?
England's performance in one word Inevitable.
Team of the tournament (4-4-2) Buffon; Zambrotta, Cannavaro, Ferdinand, Lahm; Pirlo, Zidane, Deco, Kaka; Shevchenko, Klose.
Rob Smyth
Best player Cristiano Ronaldo: the only attacker skilful enough, cocky enough and fearless enough to consistently engage the hairs on the back of the neck.
Worst player Frank Lampard, whose pot-shooting went to pot and who compounded a miserable tournament by whinging about lack of respect when the relatively gentle and entirely justified criticism should have been water off a schmuck's back.
Biggest gripe Jose Pekerman bottling it. Argentina's instinctive passing and movement put them light years ahead of everyone else, but substitutions from the dark ages cost them in the quarter-final. They would and should have been the best world champions since 1970.
Biggest joy The dignity and class with which Owen Hargreaves handled and then overturned the ridiculous abuse to which he was subjected. You can tell he wasn't brought up in England.
Best match Portugal against Holland, the guiltiest of pleasures and one of the few occasions in which the visceral overtook the rational.
Worst match Germany against Argentina: the humdinger that turned humdrum during 120 minutes of tame, fearful football.
Best quote "Evryn'ssshgotfflagnthrcar, isshgreat " - a sweating, leering, rambling Freddie Flintoff endears himself to the nation some more with a sozzled BBC interview on the Frankfurt pitch before England's opening game.
England's performance in one word Ikea.
Team of the tournament (4-2-3-1) Buffon; Edwards, Cannavaro, Gallas, Grosso; Pirlo, Gattuso; Maxi, Riquelme, C Ronaldo; Henry.
Gemma Clarke
Best player Zinedine Zidane. He fooled all and sundry into thinking he was going to tiptoe out of international football with a whimper, before returning, rejuvenated, to orchestrate wins over Spain, Brazil and Portugal with his blend of beautiful passing, composure and trademark swivels. And he can still indulge in a crafty cigarette, giving hope to nicotine-dependants everywhere.
Worst player Zeljko Kalac. When Guus Hiddink dropped goalkeeper Mark Schwarzer in favour of lanky 'Spider' Kalac for Australia's must-not-lose game against Croatia it was assumed there must be some method in his madness. There wasn't. Kalac flapped and flailed and turned in a performance so jittery it's a wonder the Socceroos held out for a draw.
Biggest gripe Advertising. Fifteen 'official partners', too many close-ups of the ball and long shots of the advertising hoardings. Nike, Puma and Adidas battling for supremacy, turning viewers into consumers and the tournament into a crass marketing tool.
Biggest joy Graham Poll making a fool of himself.
Best match Argentina v Mexico: a real showdown; tense and exciting. The football flowed, there were so few stoppages - it was everything the majority of matches at the tournament weren't. Plus it was won by a moment of sublime skill with Maxi Rodríguez's fantastic finish.
Worst match Japan 0 - 0 Croatia. They could have played on and on and on and neither side would have scored. Pointless, boring and completely forgettable.
Best quote "I think there's every chance Wayne Rooney could go back to the Man United training ground and stick one on Cristiano Ronaldo" - Alan Shearer joins in the Portugal-bashing with his wholly objective BBC colleagues.
England's performance in one word Lame.
Team of the tournament (4-3-1-2) Lehmann; Zambrotta, Carvalho, Senderos, Lahm; Ribéry, Riquelme, Essien; Zidane; Henry, Klose.
Tom Lutz
Best player Fabio Cannavaro. It's doubtful whether Italy would have lifted the World Cup without him - he was calm, collected and made sure the rest of the back four did their job. Although it does say a lot for the tournament that its best player was a defender.
Worst player Frank Lampard. Sven-Goran Eriksson banged on about how many shots he had, but none of them threatened to result in a goal. Put England at an immediate disadvantage in the quarter-final shoot-out with a poorly taken first penalty.
Biggest gripe No major upsets. We didn't want to see a repeat of Korea/Japan 2002, but it would have been nice to see one of the giants turned over by a smaller team.
Biggest joy Jürgen Klinsmann's success. His side produced free-flowing, exciting football and made the German team likeable - a feat many would have thought impossible. Klinsmann himself is an admirable man and manager - eloquent and intelligent. He also deserves credit for preparing for the World Cup by lounging around on a Californian beach.
Best match Croatia v Australia. Unlike many of the games in the tournament this one was played without fear by both teams. It also had an explosive start, a dramatic finale, one of the few goalkeeping howlers of the tournament and, of course, the mother of all refereeing cock-ups.
Worst match Switzerland 0 - 0 Ukraine. Managed to make 120 minutes seem like 1,200. In a parallel universe it's still going on and Switzerland still haven't managed to muster a decent effort. Ukraine were equally insipid and their performance against Italy showed they were lucky to reach the quarter-finals.
Best quote "I find it offensive to see him poncing around with a large cigar in his mouth and acting like a very overweight cheerleader" - Terry Butcher lays into Diego Maradona for no apparent reason.
Team of the tournament (4-4-2) Buffon; Zambrotta, Marquez, Cannavaro, Lahm; Cristiano Ronaldo, Makelele, Appiah, Kaka; Klose, Torres.