Japablum (original) (raw)

Japablum likes to be useful. It's been a while since we've been able to offer our services for the betterment of others and society and whatnot, but Saturday Night Live and Ricky Gervais have delivered us an exquisite opportunity. The SNL digital short last week was an all-Japanese language version of The Office. But how are normal people supposed to make sense of all of the, ahem, japablum? That's where we come in. Herewith and foresooth, we offer our translation services so that you can more fully enjoy the digital short that will probably be pulled from youtube by the time we finish posting this.

Your welcome.

Love, Japablum

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[Opening Theme]

[phone rings; Japanese Pam answers]

JaPam: Hello, Dunder Mifflin Company, this is Pam.

[Japanese Michael enters]

JaMichael: Pam, Pam, Pam, Miss Pam!
JaPam: [unintelligible]
JaMichael: [unintelligible]

[Japanese Michael alone in office]

JaMichael: I'm the most interesting/fun boss in Japan
[raises coffee mug, which reads "Most Interesting/fun Boss"]

[in Japanese Jim and Japanese Dwight's cubicle, JaJim picks up his phone and calls JaDwight]

JaDwight: Hello
JaJim: Where's the stapler?

[JaDwight hangs up and opens a desk drawer, pulling out a jello mold with a stapler inside]

JaDwight: Stupid!

[JaPam laughts, JaMichael enters]

JaMichael: What's going on?
JaJim: I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
JaDwight: I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
JaPam: I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

[commercial break]

[conference room]

JaMichael: I'm the regional manager.
JaDwight: And I'm the assistant regional manager.
JaMichael: Assistant to the regional manager. Okay, let's exercise!

[JaPam interview]
JaPam: My cat wants to get married! (?? no idea)

[JaMichael interview]
JaMichael: I injured myself while working. Yes, I think so. Yes! Yes! Yes! (??. JaMichael's pronunciation is awful.)

[JaMichael singing karaoke]

JaDwight: Cheers!

[...and scene]