MELTOTHEANY (original) (raw)

hello friends! 💕 how are you? i hope you’re doing well and having happy reading! this july was a really happy month for me, but it was also a really busy month for me, so i was “only” able to read five things! yet, which you’ll see with my statistics charts, july ended up being my best reading reading month in terms of star ratings, so i am very happy!

down below, will be my full reviews (or links to them) with the trigger and content warnings i wrote down while reading! i hope you enjoy all these gushes extra, because it really was such an amazing month for me! ❤️

✨ The Apothecary Diaries Manga, Vol. 1 by Nekokurage + Natsu Hyuuga ⭐⭐⭐⭐

okay, you were all right – this was an amazing volume one and i absolutely cannot wait to continue on with this story! i really love this, and maomao is such an amazing protagonist. i can’t wait to read more about her and her adventures!

in this volume one, we are introduced to our main character, maomao, who was kidnapped and sold to the empire, and is now a maidservant in the inner court. but she soon gets a promotion when her apothecary talents are discovered, and her aid is needed in solving the mystery of the deaths of the heirs born from the consorts in the inner palace. and then… she becomes a food taster and starts to help with more apothecary needs – from chocolate making to solving another mystery of a ghost dancing atop the palace!

trigger + content warnings: kidnapping, talk of child death, poisoning

✨ The Tainted Cup (Shadow of the Leviathan, #1) by Robert Jackson Bennett ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

“And when the Empire is weak, it is often because a powerful few have denied us the abundance of our people.”

this is the first 2024 published novel that i am giving five stars to this year! you know, i have tried to read so many horrors and thrillers, but maybe the secret sauce was just me picking up a murder mystery. i just fell so in love with our two main characters, and seeing their adventures unfold was a joy and highlight of my 2024 reading. also the amount of tabs i used because the descriptions were so lush and vivid and the quotes so powerful and beautiful? very wild, i promise. even more wild than me being so very alert and looking out for any and all cups because of the title and the cover lol. but i just loved this and i think it really reminded me how much i love murder mysteries, especially with a fantasy back drop. if you have any recommendations, please let me know! and i hope you all have even half as good of a time with this story as i did, because i still believe that will be a five star!

trigger + content warnings: murder, death, blood, vomit, talk of poverty, bullying, abuse, anxiety, smoking, violence, medical testing (involving humans and animals), magical compilation, body horror, contagion, and a lot of talk and imagery of fungus and spores

❤️ full review HERE

✨ Just for the Summer (Part of Your World, #3) by Abby Jimenez ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
1.) Part of Your World ★★★★★
2.) Yours Truly ★★★★

let me preface this entire review by saying that i do believe you should read at least part of your world in this loosely connected series. i didn’t feel like this about yours truly, because you just see overlapping friendships between characters – which is really cool, but i don’t think would hinder any reading experience! But i truly am not sure if i would have given this book five stars, if not for also reading part of your world! so again, totally do whatever you wanna do, read these however you want to read them, but i just recommend reading at least part of your world (which is probably the best romance book i’ve read in years, so it will be a fun side quest, i promise)!

now that that is out of the way – let me actually talk about the book itself! The basic premise is that a girl read a reddit post that makes her realize the poster and her have one thing in common: they both are the person people date before they find their soulmates. So emma (28, traveling nurse) sli…

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“And when the Empire is weak, it is often because a powerful few have denied us the abundance of our people.”

if you’re looking for a fantasy murder mystery that has a sherlock and watson dynamic, with a setting that feels like you were dropping into attack on titans, with themes of systemic injustice, and discussions on classism, with a story that follows a queer mc with a learning disability… well, i am here to tell you to please look no further

in this world, the land is separated by rings, and those rings are walls that are constantly being reinforced to keep leviathans out and the people safe. especially the outermost wall, that is also constantly being manned by a military force. also in this world, people are able to get magical augmentations that enhance abilities – and there is a vast range of different augmentations from strength, to sight, or even memory. this land, these augmentations, and different sorts of technological advancements are constantly changing and evolving because of the flora and the importance of the array of plant life on this land. also, this story takes place right on the cusp of the wet season, where the land is less forgiving, alongside the leviathans trying to breach the walls. and if the leviathans do reach the shores, their blood and bodies have a very strange effect on the land and can make a place completely uninhabitable. and lastly, a murder rather unusual, involving the flora in this world, just happened and no one has any clues as to why or how, but the empire needs it solved before the wet season officially hits.

this story follows an assistant to a detective, named dim, who is an engraver, which means he has an enhancement that allows him to remember everything he is seeing, and relay it back to his detective with 100% accuracy and certainty. this is because of an augmentation that he has, and he is able to extra anchor the memories with a vial of a fragrance he is able to tie the experience to. and truly, him exploring all of these places, and manors, and crime scenes, and attaching all of these clues to scent, was one of my favorite parts of this book.

but the detective herself? oh, ana is the best character i’ve read in years! truly a new favorite for me! ana is a bit of a mystery herself throughout the book, so i don’t want to say too much, but she seems to be banished to the outer ring, but she needed a new assistant for a murder mystery in which she is very much needed to solve. and together we watch din and her work together and try to find the murderer(s), while more and more mystery ensues.

this was just a really fresh story, and something that really pushed the bounds of both fantasy and mystery genres. yet, also combining both and making a really beautiful and harmonious experience for readers. this felt different to read, and special to consume, and it really surpassed absolutely every expectation i had prior to purchasing this book at b&n because i love the trend of covers being printed directly on hardcovers with no dust jackets.

“Born into systems beyond our control, into relationships and organizations that obligate us to change, all so our families may prosper… That’s what the empire is, isn’t it?”

to me, this story really also discusses themes of classism and social injustice, where the rich colonizers get to live in safety in the most inner walls, while also having the money to protect themselves from any and all things. while the essential workers who are trying to make all the walls and land a safer and better place are forced to work and live in unsafe conditions. and while people from impoverished communities are forced to give everything they have, in hopes that something will make it back to their families so they will be able to live a tiny bit of a better life. (please know, there is a lot more i want to say, but i won’t because of spoilers – but i really loved some of the themes and thoughts that i felt like were presented within this story!!)

“If you …

original tag created by readlikewildfire + earl grey books!

oh hello, friends! i hope you’re doing well! this is my eighth year doing this book tag, and that feels very wild to type (and to think about), but this is such a book community staple and i really love doing it each and every year! and i will also add some statistics to the end, that will encompass my reading for the first half of 2024! so far, i have read 44 books this year!

okay, let’s get into it! please click on any of the book titles down below for my full reviews with thoughts and feelings and in depth content and trigger warnings! 💗

♡ 1. best book you’ve read so far in 2024

☆ The Vanished Birds by Simon Jimenez + A Memory Called Empire (Teixcalaan, #1) by Arkady Martine
⤷ my two favorites being backlist space operas? very insane dot. both also focusing on colonization and the generational impact of the horrors that come from it. also both also celebrating queer love, while also having some morally questionable sapphic relationships? wow, the dots are really dotting on this day whew! but i truly loved both of these with my whole heart and highly recommend them!

♡ 2. best sequel you’ve read so far in 2024

☆ The Brides of High Hill (The Singing Hills Cycle, #5) by Nghi Vo
⤷ please, tor, give me cleric chih stories forever. but this fifth installment really resonated with me on a personal level and i just loved reading it so very much.

♡ 3. new release you haven’t read yet, but want to

☆ Just for the Summer (Part of Your World, #3) by Abby Jimenez
⤷ after Part of Your World becoming one of my favorite romance books of all time, and also completely adoring Yours Truly, i know i am going to love this one too. i just want to make sure i am in a good headspace for it, because even though everyone is loving this, they are also saying its her heaviest book yet. but i can’t wait to pick this up, hopefully soon!

♡ 4. most anticipated release for the second half of the year

☆ Wind and Truth (The Stormlight Archive, #5) by Brandon Sanderson (december 6th)
⤷ i feel like this fifth (and final for this era) stormlight book is going to be all the sff girlies answers, but here i am to make it mine, too! i cannot wait for this book and for this conclusion, and will be reading it immediately at midnight when it hits my kindle!

♡ 5. biggest disappointment

☆ Wild Love (Rose Hill, #1) by Elsie Silver
⤷ well, even cowgirls get the blues (this is a d20 joke, i am so sorry but i could not resist) !! this is the first one star i have given out in years, because this was truly a mess in almost every way. disappointment is an understatement, actually.

♡ 6. biggest surprise

☆ Heir of Fire (Throne of Glass, #3) by Sarah J. Maas
⤷ it had been almost ten years since i read this book for the first time! but over the last year, i have been rereading all of sjm’s books/universe with my friend penny, and loving tog more than i did a decade ago has for sure been the biggest surprise in my reading year, so far! (but i expect this surprise to keep getting stronger and stronger throughout this year and reread!)

♡ 7. favorite new author (debut or new to you)

☆ Jade Song
⤷ Chlorine was such an amazing debut, with some of the most beautiful writing. i immediately knew i wanted to follow and read everything this author will create in the future. but then i also found this article that they wrote on inspiration, and they are just so cool – On BTS, Writing, and What Makes an Artist.

♡ 8. newest fictional crush

☆ Funny Story by Emily Henry
⤷ miles kind of truly swept me completely off my feet. truly the best love interest i have read in years. (bonus michigan points too, wow)

♡ 9. newest favorite character

☆ The Crimson Moth (The Crimson Moth, #1) by Kristen Ciccarelli
⤷ rune completely won me over, even though i only gave this story three stars (a very high three stars) !! also, i just really enjoyed the magic system in this book and rune using the blood from her cycles was just really uniq…

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hello friends! i can’t believe it is already time for me to be writing up another quarterly post! i know we say it every year, but this year has personally just felt extremely fast for me! i am really hoping the next sixth months slows down a bit! but i hope my reading quickens up a bit, muahahah! 💗

i read 24 books during april, may, and june! i do wish this was a tiny bit higher, but i am still very happy with what i was able to read this 2nd quarter! and i always love being able to see it visually laid out in front of me, too! ✨

Q2 STATISTICS

as always, i love seeing all my book data represented visually! let me quickly go over some of my thoughts about these charts: i really hope to make that five star sliver a little higher! seeing horror have that big of a piece of the pie is insane, but i’m thanking jjk! i fear i might always be a hardcover girl, but lately nothing has been better than reading in bed on my ipad, so we will see what next quarter brings! i know i love tor, but i am actually still a little shocked to see the publisher pie chart! 🤍

THREE FAVORITE READS OF Q2
(click title links for full reviews with detailed thoughts, feelings, and tw/cws!)

✨ A Memory Called Empire (Teixcalaan, #1) by Arkady Martine
⤷ sapphic space opera centering on colonization

✨ The Brides of High Hill (The Singing Hills Cycle, #5) by Nghi Vo
⤷ a gothic horror wedding that is still not what it seems

✨ Funny Story by Emily Henry
⤷ michigan contemporary filled with community, healing, and choosing to love (yourself and others)

Q2 BOOK HAUL

(coming soon… not me forgetting to add this picture last night)

Q2 TBR UPDATES

☆ r/fantasy bingo
⤷ i feel like i am doing so extremely well on this tbr reading challenge! it technically is not over until march of 2025, but i really would love to finish by the end of 2024! and i think i am well on my way to do so!

☆ my 2024 publications tbr
⤷ i have read seven out of twelve of this tbr reading challenge, and that’s right on track! i do hope that i am able to knock this out a little more during this summer, because i feel like i have lost a tiny bit of steam these last couple of months!

okay loves, i hope you enjoyed reading about the last three months of my reading! besides that, i also want to just remind you that the steam summer sale is currently going on, so get those discounted games and listen to those free spotify audiobook hours! i hope you all are doing well, and i am sending you so much love. happy reading, friends!💖

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hi hi friends! i hope you’re all doing well. june was a little bit of a whirlwind for me, but i was still able to read six things that i can’t wait to talk about with you! june is also my army anniversary with bts, and this year was the fifth! which feels very insane to type! but jimin also dropped a song the exact day, so the month for sure is ending on a happy note! but let’s get into the six books i read this month! 💜

✨ Jujutsu Kaisen, Vol. 04 by Gege Akutami ⭐⭐⭐
➛ vol. 1 ★★★★
➛ vol. 2 ★★★
➛ vol. 3 ★★★

i really am loving every itadori and sukuna interaction/moment. honestly, sukuna was my favorite character in this fourth installment, and im not sure what that says about me, but here we are. my heart @ junpei, fully and utterly. mahito, after my fave scene with sukuna, thinks up a new mission to steal some remaining cursed fingers of sukuna. but besides that, we get to see the start of the good year event, which is a team battle of different schools, where the most exorcisms win. but obviously, itadori is a target all on his own. so, so, so excited to continue on, probably extra because of the cliffhanger ending feeling of this, too!

trigger + content warnings: fighting / battle, violence, blood, gore, death, talk of bullying

✨ One Perfect Couple by Ruth Ware ⭐⭐

i feel like i really can’t talk about this book without getting into a little spoilery territory, so please skip over this review if you wish to know nothing about this thriller! (and i do say thriller and not thriller mystery because there really isn’t much mystery to this story whatsoever, which is also probably a reason i didn’t enjoy it as much!) but i picked this up because 1) i have enjoyed ruth ware in the past and 2) the girls were saying survivor meets love island and i will always be here for that set up! But instead of love island and survivor, we get lord of the flies and men’s rights activists.

our main character, lyla, reluctantly agrees to go on a reality tv dating show, set on a secluded island, because her boyfriend is an actor and really begs her to do it because it could be very good for his career. lyla’s lab contract is up next month, and the funding renewal isn’t looking too good, so she also agrees under the condition that she can work on her paper and that she can only be on the island for two weeks. but after filming for only 24 hours, a big storm comes that is not only deadly but has completely made the people on the island not be able to contact anyone to come save them. And then she and the rest of the people are trying to survive while… red pill lord of the flies ensues.

i really do respect making the villain who it was, and i respect the talk of the manosphere and the following these mens right activities accumulate on youtube and other platforms that also leads to the perpetuation of violence against women. but oh my god, i just hated reading about this man with all the sum of hate i have in my body. after that storm, that man would have been GONE by me and me alone and i would not have… done what they did at the end (even though that’s an important discussion too, and it does make sense, but again – i just hated reading about it!) i hope if you pick this one up, you have more fun reading it than i did, friends!

trigger + content warnings (these will content some plot spoilers so please use caution or do not read if you do not need to know any tw/cws): extremely bad storms, talk of fear of water, extremely abusive relationships, blood, death, drowning, talk of loss of parent in past (one sentence), suicide mentions, not having the insulin that you need, grief, depression, loss of partner, grooming in past, and discussion of men’s rights activists throughout (always in a negative light but it is a lot)

✨ Heir of Fire (Throne of Glass, #3) by Sarah J. Maas (reread) ⭐⭐⭐⭐

“You cannot pick and choose what parts of her to love.”

listen, 2015 melanie gave this two stars and i am 99% sure that was just because i shipped celaena…

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Top Ten Tuesday was created by The Broke and the Bookish in June of 2010 and was moved to That Artsy Reader Girl in January of 2018!

hi hi, loves! i hope you’re all doing well and staying cool (or warm) in whatever hemisphere you are in! i always love doing posts like this, and just reflecting on all the good book options i have for the last six months of 2024 (which feels wild to even type)! but truly, so many good books are publishing over the last half of this year, and i can’t wait to talk about them all with you! 😍

🌞 SUMMER RELEASES

☆ The Dead Cat Tail Assassins by P. Djèlí Clark – august 6th
⤷ once again, this book is about necromancers, assassins, and a vow our mc isn’t supposed to remember, but does. it very well could be my new personality very soon!

☆ Mistress of Lies by K.M. Enright – august 13th
⤷ maybe the summer buzzword is assassins, because this queer filipino debut also stars one who is forced to work with two others to solve a magical murder mystery that could also involve vampires. this is truly the debut that i have been looking most forward to all year!

☆ The Crimson Crown by Heather Walter – august 27th
⤷ we love a tuesday birthday, and this year for mine i get a sapphic snow white dark retelling. i am obsessed with this author’s writing and her malice duology that ended up being a favorite of mine. i can’t wait for all the sapphic stories she will give us, but this birthday release one feels very special to me already.

🍁 FALL RELEASES

☆ Graveyard Shift by M.L. Rio – september 24th
⤷ i mean, once everyone saw there was a new ml rio book coming out i think the entire book community let out a breath they didn’t know they were holding. it is “only” a novella (i say this as a novella lover), but it is about a group of night shift workers trying to solve a mystery at the graveyard, involving a gravedigger, and i know it’s going to be everything.

☆ The City in Glass by Nghi Vo – october 1st
⤷ at this point, i will just beg tor for anything that nghi vo writes. but this is a brand new standalone all about angels and demons and a lost city and i just know that i am going to love it like everything else this author writes!

☆ Lore Olympus: Volume Seven (Lore Olympus, #7) by Rachel Smythe – october 1st
⤷ there is just something really happy and healing about waiting for my next preorder of lore olympus to come in. volume six was actually my favorite so far, so i extra can’t wait for this newest installment for the fall!

☆ Spectacular (Caraval, #3.5) by Stephanie Garber – october 22nd
⤷ i cannot believe we are actually get a caraval holiday story right before the holiday season! i am so curious if we will see characters from both of her trilogies in this, and if we will get some hints for what is to come next! but i love being in the world of caraval and i can’t wait for this!

❄️ WINTER RELEASES

☆ The Teller of Small Fortunes by Julie Leong – november 5th
⤷ this is actually one of my favorite covers… ever. but is a new debut about a immigrant fortune teller, traveling from town to town with her magical cat, and i think this is the tale of them trying to help someone in one of these towns! this is going to be cozy and heartfelt and i can’t wait to read.

☆ The Songbird & the Heart of Stone (Crowns of Nyaxia, #3) by Carissa Broadbent – november 19th
⤷ i am all caught up and so ready to read this new carissa broadbent book! this third full length story is about a character we know and love from books one and two, but i am curious how i am going to enjoy it because i really didn’t love the last novella i read set in this world. but i am still excited to find out this winter!

☆ Wind and Truth (The Stormlight Archive, #5) by Brandon Sanderson – december 6th
⤷ the fifth and last (of this story arc, before a very big time jump) of the very beloved stormlight archives. i cannot believe it will be in my hands in six months, and i also can’t believe brandon has said it is the longest bo…

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Top Ten Tuesday was created by The Broke and the Bookish in June of 2010 and was moved to That Artsy Reader Girl in January of 2018!

hello friends! i hope you’re all doing well, and having good days leading up to summer if we are in the same hemisphere! i actually did the top ten tuesday for 10 books on my spring tbr this year, too! and it was really fun to make, even if i only read five out of the ten, or 50%, of that tbr as of writing up this summer tbr! but i am so excited to hopefully read all of these, and i am always thankful i get to share them with you! 😊

🌞 ARCS TO READ

☆ The Dead Cat Tail Assassins by P. Djèlí Clark – august 6th
⤷ this was also on my spring tbr, but i kept pushing it back because the publication date got pushed back to august! but again – necromancers, assassins, and a vow our mc isn’t supposed to remember, but does. i just know i am going to love this one!

☆ The Crimson Crown by Heather Walter – august 27th
⤷ sapphic snow white for my birthday? wow, what a gift truly. the malice duology was everything to me, and both books were favorites the years they were published! i truly cannot wait for this one and i am so very thankful that i was able to get an arc!

☆ Buried Deep and Other Stories by Naomi Novik – september 17th
⤷ naomi novik is such a hit or miss author for me, but i always love her writing and settings! i am really hoping that this short story collection ends up being not only a hit, but a love!

🌊 SUMMER RELEASES

☆ Saints of Storm and Sorrow by Gabriella Buba – june 25th
⤷ queer and filipino and filled with magic! and discussions on colonization and taking back and reclaiming what is yours. this is going to be everything and i am beyond words excited to finally be able to read this!

☆ A Sorceress Comes to Call by T. Kingfisher – august 6th
⤷ not only a fantasy t kingfisher, but a 300+ page novel that is a dark reimagining of the goose girl by t kingfisher? oh, please sign me up immediately. this is a need.

☆ Mistress of Lies by K.M. Enright – august 13th
⤷ 2024 is really the year of queer filo debuts and i am living for it. also the cover of this one is so beautiful and so haunting.

☆ An Academy for Liars by Alexis Henderson – september 12th
⤷ i really enjoyed the year of the witching many years ago, and alexis’ writing is so gorgeous. i cannot wait to read their adult gothic dark academia as soon as i can get my little gremlin hands on it!

🏖️ BACKLIST BOOKS

☆ Not in Love by Ali Hazelwood
⤷ i’ve really enjoyed everything i’ve read by ali in the past, so i know there is a really good chance that i will also have a good time with her newest release!

☆ Private Rites by Julia Armfield
⤷ last year, i fell in love with our wives under the sea by this author and i actually think that this has a really good shot at being one of my favorite books of 2024! i truly can’t wait to get to this one!

☆ An Education in Malice by S.T. Gibson
⤷ not only was this 2024 release on my spring tbr, but it is also on my yearly tbr, and yet i am still not reading it for some reason! i feel like so many people, who have similar reading tastes as me, really didn’t enjoy this one and now i am being so apprehensive to pick it up! but i really hope that i get the urge this summer!

i cannot believe we are almost to summer, and almost half way through 2024! but it always it such a fun time in the book community, with tbrs, midyear freak outs, and all the content that creators like to put out during this time! but okay, friends! let me know if you have read or plan to read any of these books! and i am sending you all so much love, always! happy reading! 💛

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hello, friends! i hope you’re doing well! i cannot believe we are in june already! the last few years have for sure felt a little too quick for me, but 2024 really needs to slow down! may was a little bit of a busy month for me, so i didn’t read as much as i would have liked, or as many five stars as i would always like, but it was still a really good reading month! ✨

✨ A Memory Called Empire (Teixcalaan, #1) by Arkady Martine ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

“This book is dedicated to anyone who has ever fallen in love with a culture that was devouring their own.”

a memory called empire follows mahit dzmar, who is from a very small mining space station, and this story begins as soon as she lands in the center of the multi-system, the teixcalaanli empire, where she will be the newest ambassador. she has been raised learning everything about teixcalaan, in hopes of one day being able to work in the heart of the empire she has loved her whole life, but when the last ambassador goes missing, mahit is able to make that dream come true bigger than she ever imagined.

this is a space opera, this is a murder mystery, this is a romance, this is about connecting and learning and loving other cultures that are not your own, this is about imperialism and the forever more and more and more colonization that comes from it. arkady martine really has created something powerful, and important, and real, yet also very beautiful and filled with empathy. this duology really deserves all the awards it has received, and a memory called empire really is one of the best books i’ve ever read. (also, it is my favorite book title of all time, i think, too!)

trigger + content warnings: colonization, colonialism, use of the word barbarians talking about people who are others, death, panic attacks, mention of consuming ashes of someone, blood, bombings / explosions, talk of child birth, assault (unwanted touching), poisoning, wound descriptions, surgery, needles, riots, fetishization, grief, war, seizures, violence, loss of a loved one (friend), self harm (to get blood for an oath), suicide / sacrifice, and a lot of xenophobia

❤️ full review HERE

✨ Y/N by Esther Yi ⭐⭐⭐⭐

“I love the world I hate simply because you live in it.”

this is truly the weirdest book i’ve ever read. i kind of thought i was going to like it, just from the title and premise alone, but i was a little apprehensive because so many of my goodreads friends did not vibe with this one. but from chapter one, and reading some of the most impressive writing ive ever read, let alone from a debut, i knew this was really going to work for me. i am a bit hesitant to recommend it, because i just know it is going to be too weird and too satirical, and the writing too purple prose and too stream of consciousness for a lot of readers. but if you’re looking for something very different, something that’s really going to pull you out of your own comfortability, something unlike anything else you’ve read before, i would recommend that book wholeheartedly.

trigger + content warnings: depression, talk of body image, disordered eating, racism, fetishization, abusive relationships, a lot of talk of death, talk of suicide, suicide ideation, one sentence mention of school shootings, vomit, talk of disability, blood, accidental self harm, mention of death of pet in past (dog being poisoned by neighbors), and a big portion of this book discussed and shows dementia

❤️ full review HERE

✨ The Honey Witch by Sydney J. Shields ⭐⭐⭐
ARC provided by Orbit – thank you so much

the honey witch is about a girl who is about to take up her grandmother’s legacy being, you guessed it, the next honey witch on her island. every eldest daughter in her family had the potential to be a witch, if they so do choose it. we follow our main character (and the eldest daughter), marigold, as she is healing and figuring out what she wants her life to look like, versus the life that society has always told her life should look like. and we are alongside marigold as she …

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i keep putting off this review, because i know whatever i type will just not do this book justice. this really is a masterpiece in every way, and for sure one of the best books i’ve ever read, but it also felt physically painful to read while being an american right now. (i mean, always, but just… extra heavy right now.) but, i will try my best.

“This book is dedicated to anyone who has ever fallen in love with a culture that was devouring their own.”

in this world, there is implant technology that manhit’s people have, called imagos. and basically, as long as the people are compatible, they can share a chain of actual human life memory, that they can keep passing down, essentially sharing a body, at least your current body when the years of memories of the person’s implant that is implanted in you. yskandr, the previous ambassador, has been missing for three months, and they do not have this implant of the last twenty years, but they have an out of date imago of his first five years in teixcalaan, and that is what mahit has with her while she is embarking on this new job and new journey.

when she arrives, she realizes really quickly that maybe this empire wasn’t very worthy of her dedication. the people of teixcalaan remind her that she never will truly be one of them throughout this book. she also is experiencing riots and uprising from resistance groups, while also seeing people in power using war as a source of profit for themselves. mahit getting very intertwined with the emperor and learns lot about what yskandr was doing during the fifteen years he was not checking in with lsel station.

there is also a sapphic situation going on with mahit’s cultural liaison, three seagrass, who she meets when arriving to the empire, and who is supposed to kind of bridge the two cultures more easily for mahit, and assist her with anything she needs or does not understand. And they really make a connection of poetry, which is a big part of this world and story, and i just really loved reading about them – even though i know there is a lot of layers to this and it’s really complicated (which is also probably why i enjoyed reading it).

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“I dreamt myths larger than my girl body could hold.”

such a heartfelt literary horror debut that i think i will hold inside me forever. i really did love this, and the writing is just completely out of this world. i cannot wait to see what this author does next, and just follow their career and stories forever.

ren has loved mermaids and their stories for all her life, but when she is a small girl she also discovers her love and fascination for the water, and the escapism and transformation it can bring. She joins her school’s swim team and starts swimming competitively, and this story takes place in highschool when her life is consumed with being the best swimmer her body will allow her to be, despite being only human… for now. and we get to watch ren holding on to the identity of a girl, of a swimmer, of a child of immigrants, of being queer, and we get to also watch her become the mermaid she was always meant to be.

chlorine is also a little bit of an epistolary novel, and we get to see letters being written to ren’s friend/love interest, cathy, where we get to see her perspective of the transformation of ren, while also being filled with longing. this just adds an extra dark tone to the novel, because the reader is reading these one sided letters of missing someone, while switching back and forth to the story and the direction of events that are playing out with Ren inside her mind.

i feel like you probably shouldn’t know too much more before going in, but some other things in this novel that i really loved, despite being hard to read: talk of being a child of diaspora and how the american dream your elders came searching for can really be a nightmare. how doctors can be horrible and not actually care about their patients or their health, and how medical care you are choosing to get can still feel like a violation, and how these last two things can be so much bigger when you’re a queer nonwhite kid. how adults can push kids so far past their limits, yet still ignore all the signs that they are drowning.

overall, i really did love this and sapphic asian stories about feeling like you’re from a completely different world are always going to tug on my heartstrings very hard and very deeply. (and if you need to hear it, you belong and your continuous transformation is beautiful.) i really recommend this debut if you are in a good head space with the trigger warnings. bonus: this author is army and wrote a really beautiful piece about their debut novel, inspiration, and bts (and i am very grateful to read this blue side story and gain hope.) – On BTS, Writing, and What Makes an Artist. bonus bonus: i wrote this entire review listening to come back to me by rm on repeat because bts are also one of my greatest inspirations in life.

content warnings at the start of the book: racism, misogyny, self-harm, eating disorders, homophobia, depression, and sexual violence.

additional trigger + content warnings i found while reading: blood, menstruation, scene getting an iud, talk of abortion, pregnancy scare, abandonment, child abuse, grooming, hospital setting, concussion, extreme headaches, car crash one sentence mention, anxiety, grief, pica, needles, talk of debt, abuse of medication, drinking, smoking, vomit, bad medical professionals and treatment, a lot of microaggressions from the love interest, and i just want to emphasize that there is a lot of talk of body image and a lot of food descriptions that are central themes in this book that go hand in hand with disordered eating.

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