how I'm gonna grade you (original) (raw)

GRADING SCALE FOR FANFICTION - MURDER VICTIMS UNIT
by Mika and Sadie 2006 ^___^.

ONE - Your fanfiction is absolute shit. Grammar mistakes are all over the place, characters are terribly OOC and/or missing altogether, and you use big pretty words to sound older than you are. Nope, sorry, this isn't even worthy to be called a Mary Sue. Yeah. It's that bad. Probably written by someone in kindergarten or very early elementary school, not much higher than that.
TWO - Only a teensy bit above step one, still a piece of crap. Grammar mistakes are not as abundant but still pretty wild. Characters are again OOC and/or missing. Big words, not so many. There's a perfect girl at the heart of this story. She looks, sounds, and smells like a Sue. Yes, this is the first time we see the Mary Sue emerge. It's probably written by a child in elementary or early middle school.
THREE - And suddenly, you can begin to see something taking shape beneath all this. Grammar mistakes are still lessening and you use vocabulary suitable to your own age. OOCness and missing characters, however, are still here. Maybe one or two Sues live in this story and completely destroy it and tear it up before it becomes a four. Still early middle school.
FOUR - Fairly good writing. There are few grammatical errors and no extra-special words that sound out of place. One or two characters may be OOC or missing, but only very slightly OOC. There are a few [2-5] Sues here. This writing is okay, but lacks motivation from the author. Middle school level still.
FIVE - Not half bad. There's a minimal amount of grammar errors and a broad, understandable vocabulary. Here is where many authors have Sues and make the originals OOC. No characters are missing, which is very good. It still needs conviction and a better plot to go along with it. Late middle school to early high school.
SIX - This is where it starts to be very well written. No grammar mistakes to be seen and no OOCness. There may be one Sue, but she's more of an original character that's not crucial to the plot. It's still a little rough around the edges, but otherwise pretty good. High school level.
SEVEN - This is where most of the best people on fanfiction fall. The plot gets you to the edge of your seat, the characters are excellent. If there is an OC, you can't tell. Everything is in line. You can draw emotion from the reader here. I'd say late high school to early college level.
EIGHT - If you're here, then you most likely write original or do it for money. Same rules as seven. Plot only gets better and more genres are added to the mix. College level, no doubt about it.
NINE - So close to perfection. By the time you put the book down [or get offline], you'll keep reading it over and over again. It leaves a lasting impression on you, and you probably cried at least once during it. Post college.
TEN - THE DEEP SHIT. You'll cry, be mad at the antagonist, and you'll laugh. You want to be thinking

Lord of the Rings

or Cyborg 009. That good. Perfection at its finest.
SPECIAL RANKINGS

ZERO - This ranking if for those who have been tried and found guilty at the MVU. Sure, you can write. Your writing has one all-powerful Sue, extreme grammatical and spelling mistakes, and flows terribly. It's most likely that this was written by someone who needs an older sibling, or at least someone to look up to. At this ranking, you are not even to be considered an author. That title is a privilege, and you went ahead and abused it.