Down the Rabbit Hole - Nina fic (original) (raw)

Character: Nina Theroux
Genre: Gen
Author: msninatheroux
Fandom: Alphas
Word count: 600
Rating: PG
Prompts: Meme #13 Down the Rabbit Hole for a_muse_meme
Notes: Before Alphaville Season 2

I turned the water temperature up another several degrees. My skin was already pink from scrubbing and the heat, but it wasn’t enough. I felt dirty. I pressed my forehead against the cool marble walls, while the scalding water beat on my back, slicking my dark hair against my skin. I’d been in the shower for well over half an hour, probably closer to an hour. The hot water wouldn’t run out for a long time. This building never ran out of anything. It was unheard of, and it would be unseemly.

With a sigh I shut off the water and carefully stepped out of the shower. I pulled a blood red bath sheet of Egyptian cotton around my body, and made my way into my bedroom. I didn’t glance in the mirror. The last thing I wanted to do was see my face. My eyes. The filth that I’d become.

“Right, Nina, you’re so ashamed of yourself that you’re living in an apartment that you can afford in Queens near the office.” I dragged a comb through my hair while sitting on the edge of the California king and then fell back onto it, looking up at the vaulted ceiling. “Yep, here I am suffering. But hey, why stop in Queens? You can go home to Jersey and move in with mom.”

God, I didn’t want to think about my mom or my dad or anyone else, anyone that I’d hurt or used. Which pretty much meant that I didn’t want to think about anyone but me. Typical since everything I did, I did for me. Like what I did to Rachel.

I pressed the heels of my hands into my eyes to stop the tears that were threatening to fell. Focus, Nina, you’re not upset about Rachel. I was, but it wasn’t the wall that I’d built between Rachel and me that made me feel like I was covered in sewage, it was Rosen. He’d used me, and I’d let him.

Maybe it was karma. I’d abused my relationship with Rachel, Hicks and everyone else. Why shouldn’t Dr. Rosen abuse me. He preached that I could control my ability, that I could learn not to use it, and then he’d asked me to. He’d held my hand at the hospital, looked into my eyes and said that he trusted me. He made me trust him, and then he’d used me. Sure he’d had a good reason, but if I heard Stanton Parish’s name one more time, I’d start screaming. I was afraid that if I started to scream that I’d never be able to stop.

Somehow I held it together long enough to get dressed and head into the kitchen. I thought about ordering Chinese or a pizza, but then I’d be tempted to tell the delivery boy that I’d already paid him. It was better for me to find out what was still edible in the fridge, which wasn’t much. There were a couple of little cups of yogurt that hadn’t expired and some carrots that didn’t look too bad. The celery and strawberries were long gone though. Rachel was the one who liked fresh fruit and vegetables. I didn’t really care about any of that.

I smiled at the picture of the two of us that was stuck to the refrigerator door with a heart shaped magnet and let out another sigh that almost became a sob. “I wish you were here. I wish you’d talk to me. You’d be able to see the truth about what’s going on. You always see the truth.”

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