(no title) (original) (raw)

Ellen Cleghorne: (on Are You There God? It's Me, Margaret) It was like, "Okay, you got your period. Here's a tampon, don't get it on your clothes. Get out and go to school. End of story, thank you very much."

Hal Sparks: (on The Exorcist) Was it strange that I thought she was cuter after she became possessed?

Mark Hoppus: (on connect Four) It's the thrill of checkers... vertically.

Michael Ian Black: (on Foxy Brown) She was indeed foxy, and she was also brown.

Jeff Corwin: (on Pet Rocks) In the 70's, 35,000 pet rocks were euthanized because they couldn't find a proper home. People do not realize the amount of care needed for these pets.

Hal Sparks: My pet rock attacked my best friend so we had to put it down

Michael Ian Black: I raged on the Bicentennial. I was just about to turn five. We got out the Jack and the Coke, and we went cra-zy.

Bil Dwyer: (on Shields and Yarnell) If somebody asks you what the '70s were like, say "mimes had a show."

Rachael Harris: (on You Light Up My Life) Had I known she was singing about God, that would've creeped me out.

Hal Sparks: You always though that any time Bohemian Rhapsody came on, it meant the DJ had diarrhea. He needed time.

Mo Rocca: Burt Reynolds was like 6 Village People in one

Mo Rocca: I felt many things after watching Star Wars, chief among them that I wanted my own light saber

Michael Ian Black: The subtext, to me, of Wonder Woman was S&M.

Ellen Cleghorne: I did not watch Roots. I did not want to have to go to school mad and beat up some white folks. I had an attitude problem anyway.

Greg Proops: People who liked The Who were jocks, while people who liked Led Zeppelin were the pot-smoking, acid-taking, _Hobbit_-reading groove monkeys.

Michael Ian Black: (on Animal House) If being a drunken slob, college failure wasn't cool already, John Belushi made it even more so.

Michael Ian Black: (on The Price is Right) Consumers battle wits to determine how much a bottle of Ajax costs

Michael Ian Black: [The Village People were] 6 very fit men, singing about having sex, at the Young Men's Christian Association.

Stephen Lynch: (on the Village People) America very naively thought they were just a bunch of guys singing about the YMCA

Mo Rocca: (on Three's Company) My favorite episode is definitely the one with the whole misunderstanding.

Mo Rocca: The Chippendales showed, once and for all, that you do not need to wear a shirt to wear a bowtie.

Kevin Weisman: (on Pop Rocks) It's a horrible combination of chemicals, that's delicious.

Michael Ian Black: Hippie fashion—the idea was, "if we dress colorfully enough, nobody will notice that we're dirty."

Rachael Harris: You don't mess with George C. Scott. You don't. Although sexually you do, 'cause he'd be a badass in the bedroom

Michael Ian Black: Nobody loves Ryan Seacrest more than me; that's documented. But can he replace Casey Kasem? Can a Hyundai replace a Ferrari?

Michael Ian Black: (on Three Dog Night's "Joy to the World") We are so baked. "Joy to the fishes," joy to you, man, joy to me. Kind of encapsulated the entire decade in those lyrics right there, except for all of the hatred.

Chris Booker: The Gremlin was like a shoebox that had wheels.

Hal Sparks: (on Hawaii Five-0) Every third case should've been called "The Case of the Girl in the Bikini with the Big Boobs."

Mo Rocca: If the indians didn't have it bad enough with the Trail of Tears, now they had hippies dressing up like them.

Michael Ian Black: (holding The Rolling Stones' Sticky Fingers) I'm not really sure who they're suggesting this was. I mean, I guess the implication was Mick. I don't know. You'd have to ask David Bowie about that.

Brad Sherwood: [Jerry Garcia] looks like if your math teacher was on a deserted island for 20 years and then you rescued him.

Bil Dwyer: (on K-Tel 8-tracks) Not only did you suffer the ignominy of having an 8-track player, but you had to pay more for your choice of music.

Frank Vincent: (on Brian's Song) They were homosexuals, weren't they?

Michael Ian Black: (on The Hollywood Squares) Maybe they had writers, maybe they didn't. I choose to believe they didn't. I want to preserve the fantasy

Joel Stein: (on The Hollywood Squares) "Circle gets the square." They thought that was the most clever sentence anyone had ever written

Elon Gold: The View-Master was amazing. Everyone had a View-Master.
Jason George: If you didn't, you really sucked.

Mark Hoppus: (holding a View-Master) This is the GameBoy of the 1970s.

Dave "Snake" Sabo: (on Ian Anderson) Every flute teacher was, like, "I knew it! Our time has come!"

Bil Dwyer: (on Brian's Song) You've got a black heart if you didn't cry.

Brad Sherwood: The Supercomb was the white man's answer to the pick.

Patrice O'Neal: _Billy Jack_—-greatest karate movie of all-time starring a non-Chinese person.

Hal Sparks: How did [_Maude_] get pregnant? Wouldn't her penis get in the way?

Michael Ian Black: I can say "mother****er" ten times in a row, and it's, it's cute. I mean, it's adorable. But when [Richard Pryor] says it, it's just downright funny.

Gilbert Gottfried: (on Billy Dee Williams) Oh, girlfriend, he was fine—oh, wait, I think I was looking at the cue card for one of the black comediennes.

John Waters: [Paul Lynde] brought out the inner 'fag hag' gene that women have

Rachael Harris: [_Superfly_] really made me want to kill whitey.

Michael Ian Black: I don't know who 'the man' is. He looks an awful lot like Dick Cheney.

Stuart Scott: [Nerf] is, like, football for remedial kids

Bill Dwyer: Goodyear Blimp debuted in 1972 because America was clammoring for slower air travel

Rachael Harris: Sophia Loren—good God, what a body. She had some hot cans.

Hal Sparks: Nerf was the beginning of the soft, chubby, weak-minded child.

Hal Sparks: (on his mom's thoughts) All other sex was filth, but [Hsing-Hsing and Ling-Ling] ****ing was a great thing.

John Waters: (on Pink Flamingos) I wrote that whole movie on marijuana.

Antigone Rising: [The Goodyear Blimp] didn't really bode well for any of the heavy kids in school

Dee Snider: Maude was a heinous and unattractive symbol of the feminist movement

Simon Doonan: The unfortunate thing about Charlie is that women would say, "oh, can you smell my Charlie?" and it would sound like this horrible double entendre.

John Aboud: [_Jesus Christ Superstar_] was kind of like The Passion of the Christ, but set to a beat—a groovy beat.

Mo Rocca: In 1973, being homosexual went from being _de_ranged to being _de_lightful.

Michael Colton: The central flaw of Westworld was there wouldn't be any problem if they didn't give the robots live ammunition. Who gave them bullets?

Michael Colton: (on Paper Moon) There's nothing cuter than a nine-year-old girl smoking cigarettes.

Michael Ian Black: (on celebrity bowling) When it comes to athletic endeavors, I'm not trusting a celebrity as far as I can throw them.

Brian Posehn: I'm not going to sleep with Steve McQueen, but, uh, I'd hug him.

John Aboud: Favorite ELO song? "Don't Bring Me Down"—'cause I wanted to know who Bruce was.

Willie Garson: There were two game shows when I was a kid that was, like, why I wanted to be famous, and one of them was definitely Password.

Riki Rachtman: Before roofies came along, you had to throw on some Barry White if you wanted to get a chick in the sack.

Rachael Harris: If you had any sort of motion sickness, which I did, you, you really, you couldn't wait to get the **** off the Sit 'n Spin.

Brad Sherwood: Before the Heimlich Maneuver, there was this process called "Everyone Stand Around and Stare at the Choking Person".

Bryan Callen: Sonny Chiba was basically a poor man's bruce Lee.

Kristen Henderson: (on Password) The game show was instantly ruined because they put the word up on the screen, so it was, like, you couldn't play along at home.

Luis Guzman: When I used to watch Password, I discovered what anxiety attacks were.

Michael Ian Black: People weren't happy about Hank Aaron breaking the record. The Babe was beloved. The Babe was, uh white; Hank not so much.

Hal Sparks: A lot of people had defected to the United States from Russia before Mikhail Baryshnikov, but, um, no one had done it with such pizzazz!

Greg Fitzsimmons: Chico _and the Man_—that was a TV show that did for Latinos what Sanford and Son did for black people, which is not a lot.

Michael Ian Black: (on the Harlem Globetrotters) Night after night the black guys are whooping the white guys' asses, and on a certain level that's satisfying.

Kristen Henderson: I actually thought, I was little, and I thought it was Gladys Knight and the Pimps

Mo Rocca: (on Earthquake) Ava Garner's father is played by Lorne Greene, which means that Lorne Greene was seven years old when he sired Ava Gardner.

Michael Ian Black: (on Burt Reynolds) If you could just somehow smell like him for two seconds, you'll have Cheryl Tiegs on your wiener.

Adam Ferrara: (on the Bedazzler) Because the seventies' fashion wasn't tacky enough—let's put rhinestones in it!

Michael Ian Black: (on the Pink Panther movies) I'd need to watch these movies again to make a real fair assessment of whether or not they needed to do 13 of them. I suspect not.

Mo Rocca: Rollerball envisions a society in the year 2018 where nations no longer exist. The world is divided into corporations that, naturally, fight each other in roller derbies.

Stephanie d'Abruzzo: The only words to "The Hustle" were, "Do the Hustle." Isn't that interesting?

Rachael Harris: That's really screwed up that, like, Joe Namath put on panty hose to sell them. And that it was oddly sexual.

Bil Dwyer: Do I remember the Pacer? How about 'the Dwyers had a Pacer'?!

Chris Wylde: No one could really skateboard in the 70s, except for, like, six guys.

Nicole Sullivan: [_The Rocky Horror Picture Show_] is so full of debauchery and fabulousness that it made we wanna put on mens clothing and have sex parties.

Annabelle Gurwitch: (on "Lady Maramalade") All my girlfriends and I were like, "we speak French now!"

Michael Ian Black: Some people say [Jimmy Hoffa] ran afoul of the Mafia. Obviously that's not true; the Mafia doesn't exist. But he may have made some enemies in the labor movement somewhere. Or, others say—no, that's pretty much all people say: "The mob killed him."

Jake Fogelnest: Bruce Springsteen's "Thunder Road" is about what all Bruce Springsteen songs are about: bein' from New Jersey, you know, and livin' a tough life.

Loni Love: I thought, "you know, if [Joe Namath] can get his big ass in them panty hose, so can I."

Hal Sparks: (on Swiss Family Robinson) I did not remember that it was Helen Hunt that was the child, but she does look like someone who grew up in a tree.

Mo Rocca: Pamela Sue Martin put the sex back in Nancy Drew.

Michael Ian Black: (on pogoing) If Sid Vicious wants to take credit for inventing jumping up and down, I'm happy to give that to him.

Michael Ian Black: (on Devo) Flower pots and computer-programmed music—you wouldn't think it would work, but it did.

That's all I have for that.
If anyone has anymore from the I Love the 70s series please share!