Everyday Fantastic: A Time Lord's Guide to the Slow Path (5/15) (original) (raw)

Title: Everyday Fantastic: A Time Lord's Guide to the Slow Path (5/15)
Author: Roxyk630
WARNING: There are S4 spoilers beyond this point. Character/Pairing: Ten II (10.5, Handy!Ten, Human!Ten, Blue!Ten)/Rose, Appearances by: Jackie, Jake, Pete, Tony and others
Rating: PG-13 (with some brushing R bits later)
Disclaimer: I do not own Doctor Who nor any of the characters contained within. All rights belong to the BBC. I do inflict humiliation upon my dalek action figures and make them wear silly hats and aprons. So... even more concern than the BBC coming after me... is the Cult of Skaro, an encounter I definitely would not survive.
Betas: mtemplar_fic and otahyoni for this chapter. Thank you both! <3
Summary: The Doctor learning to live day by day on the slow path with Rose.
Author's Notes: My apologies! This weeks chapter is a bit short, but it covers a lot. I promise, I'll make it up to you next week, Chapter 6 is twice this size. Also, Thank you to the returning readers and betas that keep coming back. It really is appreciated.
Previous Chapters:Chapter 1, Chapter 2,Chapter 3,Chapter 4

CHAPTER 5

He walks with Rose, the terrier, for what he thinks could be the better part of an hour. He’s not completely sure anymore. His hands shoved in the pockets of the unzipped parka, he spends most of his walk yammering on about random things that enter his mind, including calculating the distance from the Tyler home to the moon in Vesuvian kilometers.

He tries to calculate the air speed velocity of an unladen swallow, like in that silly and completely inaccurate film Donna watched with him, Monty Python and the Holy Grail. He trips on the dog’s leash and gives it a miss half way through. He can’t decide if his swallow is African or European, even if it would be mad for an African swallow to migrate as far as the UK.

He removes Rose’s leash shortly thereafter. As they round a corner, he moves on to calculating the probability of rain on every fifth Tuesday in the year. He decides it’s England and it’s going to rain no matter what bloody Tuesday it is.

No matter how hard he distracts himself by talking to the dog. It’s inevitable, his impending row with Rose. He can feel it hanging over his head and he’s running from it already, just less far than the stars or the depths of the TARDIS. His hand drifts into his suitjacket pocket, feeling the bit of coral there, his little piece of home. He may not have an identity as a human but he has a heritage, and the thought makes him smile. After centuries he (the other him) finally has something to pass on, to hand down to his family. It doesn’t occur to him until that moment that he actually has that possibility—the one to have a family, a family with Rose, not just hopping in on one at random and creating his own from friends. He can’t complain about his previous methods, but the idea of a family with Rose sounds nothing short of horrifyingly ideal.

He gets lost on the way back to the house, in both thought and location. Luckily Rose (the dog) seems to recognize the path, yipping happily in front of him, when he turns to head back the other direction. She still stops at every fire hydrant, tree, and pole along the way, but he’s endlessly amused by the fact that she never wanders off. Not once.

When they arrive home, Rose is sitting on the stairs at the front of the house. She stands as the dog walks up and lets her into the house. “Where’s her lead?”

The Doctor holds it up with a small grin.

“She didn’t wander off?”

“Nope, stayed by my side the whole time.”

“She never does that,” Rose mutters softly when he reaches her side.

His elbow nudges hers. “I think she likes me.”

“Mmm maybe,” Rose grins. “Mum said you left over an hour ago. Where did you go?”

“On a walk.” He tenses.

“Yeah, I saw the way you stomped down the hall. You didn’t give me a chance to explain.”

His eyes meet hers, dark and stern at her words. “What’s to explain, Rose?”

“A lot, actually, you didn’t even give me a chance, just jumped to your own conclusion and left!” She adds sarcastically, “old habits die hard?”

“I needed to think. Obviously you need the same.”

“It was the banana.” It comes out in a quick release of breath.

“I caught on.”

“You regenerated, but you didn’t. For—for some reason I didn’t expect any changes. Stupid, yeah? It’s little things. I notice that you’re more open with your thoughts, that’s new. You make even weirder faces than before! Then you do something and it’s so you, but it’s all-ears-and-nose you. It’s hard. I mean, I know you regenerated, sorta, part Donna and all that. All the things that changed, they really are minor. Then I started thinking about—“ Her breath is showing in the cool outside air as she stumbles along. “Sorry, it—it seems to make more sense in my head. Problem is none of it makes sense. You’re still you, I know you are. I’m just not used to you being you with differences yet. Even after you regenerated, you always ate bananas.”

“All this while making tea?” he mutters, running a hand through his hair. “I still eat bananas, Rose.”

“You pocketed the one on the ferry, you never did eat it.”

“Saving it for later?” He shrugs. “Look, Rose, things are so different in this body. The physical form is the same, the thinking is generally the same, but the chemical responses aren’t. It’s going to take just as much time for me as it takes you. I’m still the same man.”

“I know, I just—it’s like Dad, yeah? I just expected him to be the same even in another universe. Different things happened to him here—he never had me, mum died, mum came back, his selling schemes worked, he’s the owner of this multi-million pound business. And I just expected him to pick everything up like nothing happened, like he did in the past when you took me to meet him. It took a while for us both when I came back here. But, it felt right, he feels like he’s my dad.” She pauses before continuing. “You still feel like the Doctor. Does that make sense?” Rose asks, meeting his gaze. “I had a small moment of panic, I’m sorry.”

Her hand reaches out to stroke his jaw line. “I just expect you to be the same because you look the same. I didn’t really think about any of the bits in between, what all has happened since we’ve been apart. Maybe those things are normal now? With Donna added in that mix?”

“It’s fine, Rose. I’m the same man, but different things that make me who I am. Donna helped with the human half; I gave myself a Time Lord brain. It’s difficult for me as well. I’m still me, I’m the same, just— “ He shrugs, his face falling into a confused frown. “—different. I’m not used to being human, Rose. Things feel different and work differently. It’s brilliant!”

He stops suddenly at the world ‘brilliant’, looking as if he wants to say more, but is holding it back. Rose watches him expectantly, waiting for him to continue.

“It’s also scary,” he mumbles, barely audible, before clearing his throat and moving on to a different subject. “Freaking out is okay. Should have seen Donna and me when I first formed.”

“Naked?”

“Yes.” He chuckles. “One track mind, Rose Tyler? There was some banter. Donna called me space boy!”

“Space boy? I like that.” She grins.

His expression changes from calm and solemn to something much darker and more tense— still calm, but obviously ill at ease.

“Doctor? You’ve been doin’ that all day.”

“What?”

“Mentioning Donna and then shutting off— “

He pulls the front door shut and tugs her down to sit on the front step with him. The pavement is cold but Rose’s hand is warm, and right now that’s all he needs to make it through this. He keeps hold of her hand, twining their fingers together and resting his other on top of their clasped hands.

“She’s not with me anymore by now.” He pauses. “With the other me.”

“Why not?” Her eyes are full of emotion threatening to brim over. “I thought—“

“Remember when I regenerated, when you absorbed the heart of the TARDIS on Satellite 5?” Rose nods. “There’s never been a human Time Lord meta-crisis before and like you, she was going to burn.”

“You removed it?”

“I can’t remove anything. Her problem was a bit different. Those experiences, they’re part of who Donna is, who she became when she traveled with me. I’d have to—” He swallows and turns away from Rose. “I’d have to essentially erase her time with me, seal it in her mind. If she remembers—I wouldn’t let that happen.”

“She’s okay?”

“Yeah.” His voice is raw as he puts voice to what he’s been keeping in.

Rose tugs on his arm tighter and rests her head on his shoulder. “Will you be okay? Both of you? You had to do it? No other alternatives?”

He doesn’t answer right away, staring straight ahead and down the Tyler drive. “I’m used to it. I’d prefer to know Donna was out in the world being brilliant than allow anything to happen to her. She’s brilliant; she didn’t realize it at all. So many things converging around her and— “

“She’s the most important woman in the universe?” Rose releases a sniffle into his shoulder and he places a kiss on her hair.

“Rose,” he whispers, “she’ll be fine. I’ll be fine. Same old life, back in the TARDIS. ”

“It’s not that.” His hand smoothes her hair as her tearful eyes raise to his. She takes a sharp cool breath as she wipes her still falling tears, “She—she died, Doctor. I couldn’t stop it.”

His eyes widen but he doesn’t speak.

“There was this alternate reality created. You weren’t in it. I was traveling through realities, trying to find you. In this one, I thought I had to save Donna, get her out. I kept trying to find other ways to fix the reality, anything. I tried sending her away, shifting her away from events, but things kept happening. London being blown to bits by the Titanic, people relegated to these horrible communes—all because you weren’t there. Then the darkness came.” She releases a shuddering breath. “I had to take her back to this time where she made a wrong turn. She stopped it, but to fix the time lines she— “

“You were there when she died.”

“That reality was destroyed when Donna—it forced the problem, in this case a wrong turn, to be fixed. It wasn’t meant to be there. We—Torchwood—couldn’t figure it out and then there was this pattern.” She huffs, wiping at her tears. “Everything was just wrong. I’m sorry I did try.”

“She never told me what happened, couldn’t remember it all. She told me what you said, though.” His hand squeezes hers. “You saved her from that reality. I had no idea where she’d gone. We were in a marketplace, and I found her at the fortune teller. That kind of damage would have hurt more than just Donna. Thank you.”

His head drops to look at his knees as his hands pick at a thread from a shredding hole.

“That’s why I had to stay there, the other me. As much as I might have wanted to, I could never be with you like this. It always comes down to the universe costing my friends so much.”

“S’worth it though. You’re worth all of that.” Rose’s eyes meet his as she grips his hand tightly. He doesn’t respond, just stares at their hands as she continues. “I’m not the only one who thinks so. Davros called us ‘weapons’, but Martha, Jack, Donna, Sarah Jane, Mickey, Mum, Harriet and I—all of those people were willing to sacrifice themselves to save the universe and to save you.”

“I’m not sure I’m worth that sort of sacrifice, Rose.”

Her hand leaves his, and turns his face back to hers immediately. Her eyes are strong and unwavering. “Yes, you are. If you aren’t there… who else is going to do it? No one, that’s who. I saw that world. It was terrifying and horrible. Without you, we resorted to keys housing nuclear weapons, alien warp stars, and massive guns.” She pauses, wiping away the tracks of mascara tears smeared down her face. “The universe needs you. Part of me will always love you for making that sacrifice. Part of me will always be in the TARDIS with you. And more than anything, you staying with me, it’s—”

“I’m not sure I can protect you from that world now, if you even want me to.” He cuts off her words harshly.

“I don’t need protecting, Doctor. I don’t need that world. I did once. I don’t now,” she replies, unintentionally sharp.

“What do you need then?” he asks.

“You.”