91. Melba (1986) (original) (raw)

What is a three letter sentence about a show that premiered on the absolute worst day in 1980s American history? Thrown on hiatus.

Melba starred singer/actress Melba Moore, and was set to premiere on January 28, 1986 at 8pm. 1 A synopsis from sitcomsonline.com:

The story line dealt with the work and home life of Melba Patterson (Moore), the director of New York’s Manhattan Visitor’s Center. Adapting to life after divorce, Melba was raising her 9 year old daughter, Tracy (Jamilla Perry), with the help of her mother Rose (Barbara Meek), who lived with them. Melba’s best friend was her white “sister” Susan (Gracie Harrison)-they had both been raised by Rose, who was the housekeeper in the Slater home when they were children. Jack and Gil (Lou Jacobi, Evan Mirand) worked for Melba at the Visitor’s Center. 2

CBS must of had no faith in this show from in the beginning. January 28th was originally the day of Ronald Reagan’s State of the Union Address. That’s awkward to schedule a new show the night of the State of the Union, even if the speech didn’t traditionally start until 9pm.

Of course, the State of the Union wasn’t held that evening due to the Challenger Disaster. Instead, Ronald Reagan spoke briefly to television viewers in his famous “touch the face of God” speech.

Obviously, nobody was in the mood to watch a comedy that evening. Especially a sitcom that had these scathing reviews that ran in that morning’s newspapers:

MELBA MOORE, who deserves better … Either it is not very good for her or she is not very good for it, and the chances are that the former is truer than the latter. … Perhaps things will calm down, but the first half-hour episode relies heavily on gag lines virtually uninterrupted by time out for character development. … One trouble with “Melba” is that it lacks the warmth, the identification with the characters that establishes the rapport necessary to make an audience laugh sympathetically with the performers. 2

-Richard Shepard

‘Melba’: No singular sensation … Isn’t there anything else for a single woman to joke about than the dearth of available men? All this Miss Lonelyhearts stuff is getting a little boring. … Meanwhile our heroine shows about as much spunk as soggy onion dip … And if this premiere episode is any indication, Melba will not be very peachy at all. … Melba Moore’s character is to weak to carry this. Their’s no feistiness, no zest, no independence. … Melba is an old joke: Single woman, coping, moping and scoping available guys. 3

-Monica Collins

“Melba,” still-another situation comedy which makes its debut at 7 p.m. Tuesday on CBS-Ch. 2, is an unyielding series of one- and two-liners wrapped around a preposterous premise … that the opening episode is crammed with singles-bashing jokes. (At one point, a guy in a fern bar asks Melba and Susan to play “a little mattress hockey.” At another point, Susan confesses that her biological clock “is clanging like Big Ben.”) … Hoping to find that date, Melba goes to a party at Susan`s apartment, where one of the guests says be believes in being “totally honest” and then –two beats–asks, “You want to jump in the sack?” A short time later, Susan asks Melba, “Seen anything you like yet?” “Yeah,” Melba quips. “The door.” 1

-Clifford Terry

Melba Moore looks jittery in the premiere of her new comedy series, “Melba,” which takes to the air at 8 tonight on Channels 2 and 8. It’s easy to guess why: She’d read the script.

She was probably worried about vultures swooping in to pick at its lifeless remains before the cast was even done performing. 4

-Lee Margulies

Here is the promo that ran for it, included in a commercial break from a few days before. An alternate title for Melba could’ve been “a salute to shoulder pads”:

…I was more enamored by the Stouffers Scalloped Apples commercial than with the Melba promo, personally. I love those apples. I can’t find them at my local Wal Mart or Target anymore… hm.

ANYWAY.

So yeah, Melba aired, nobody watched it that night, because well, you know, and CBS scrapped it.

(ebay seller “hdpixieproductions”)

Interestingly enough, in February of that year, Melba was still shooting, even after the show was pulled from the schedule. I found a script for the show on eBay, and the final draft of the script was February 14, 1986.

So after the understandably low ratings for the first episode, CBS threw the remaining episodes to the Saturday night Summer doldrums. You know what Melba did that Summer? Helped CBS have its lowest rated night ever:

CBS’ low-rated Saturday began with the return of “Melba,” the comedy series that was essentially canceled after one episode. Until last week, it was broadcast only on Jan. 28, the day of the shuttle Challenger tragedy.

Last week’s “Melba” episode had a 5.7 rating. 5

Melba was burned off that Summer, ending its short run in early September. The script I brought up earlier was for the final show that aired. The only reason why this failure of a show even makes a blip on sites such as Wikipedia, is due to the unfortunate date it premiered on.