Four years late to the fandom (original) (raw)

I rewatched Kings last week, and I enjoyed it even more then I did the first time. I think because I didn't let the small parts bother me and instead took in the epic story.

So I've created a little Jack Benjamin fic.
Spoilers for everything

Pieces

He drinks too much. No one tells him this to his face, but Jack knows this is true in the disapproving silences and condescending glances from his father after a night out. From his mother’s attempts to schedule his evenings so he is otherwise entertained, often with events without open bars. And though Michelle carefully ignores his outings, her constant disapproval is not as subtle as their father’s.

But he does not care about their contempt or their concern. Because he knows that the real him is an even greater disappointment. He can see the horror and disgust on their faces, if they found out who he really is. So he turns to alcohol, to parties where people vie for his attendance, to the power he has over those women and men who flock to him, and to ambition.

Day by day, he is able to drown parts of himself, until he almost believes that he is happy.

Joseph loves him. He says it as they lay curled around each other, as the sunrise reminds them that Joseph should have already left. Jack knows that he is supposed to say it back, but he doesn’t know how to form the words. Doesn’t know how they would sound coming out of his mouth. He can barely understand how they are directed at him.

But Joseph only whispers “I know,” and he holds Jack as he pretends not to cry.

Jack escapes to his downtown condo and its bar because he cannot celebrate peace tonight.

His father knew. He knew for years. Jack feels his face twist in anger. Had Silas hoped that it would go away? No, Jack realizes, his father still hopes it will go away. The school and military successes Jack had again and again held up for praise, all rejected because he had known. And Silas will never see Jack’s potential until those pictures stop appearing on this desk.

Jack stalks the living room, drinking glass after glass of whiskey and staring at his cell phone. JL the screen reads, and he doesn’t know if he’s strong or weak in that he does not press the send or delete button.

When his bodyguards come to get him, because he missed all his morning meetings, they find him passed out on the bed, with the pieces of an empty bottle shattered by the wall and his cell phone gripped in his hand.

Jack follows his uncle down the stairs out of instinct. He is not afraid of Silas; he is not running towards escape so that he can live to fight another day. He pauses on the step as he realizes that he only feels relieved that he can stop pretending not to hear God’s silence.

Jack is not meant to be king. He feels acceptance settle into his mind and into his soul. He is no longer Prince, Silas’ son, and future king.

He turns toward the throne room. He is ready.

“You could have had everything,” Silas says, and Jack trembles with frustration. No, he shouts in his head, I never could have had everything! But he stays silent because his father has never listened to him, and perhaps he hears God’s plan more clearly then Silas.

Silas believes that Jack is broken, ready to be remolded into any form. He doesn’t understand yet that Jack is finally whole, and no one can take him apart again.