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From: kzim@watserv.ucr.edu (Christopher Robin Zimmerman) Newsgroups: rec.sport.pro-wrestling Subject: WWF Prime Time Wrestling - 12/10/92 Message-ID: 22936@galaxy.ucr.edu Date: 14 Oct 92 02:00:53 GMT Sender: news@galaxy.ucr.edu Lines: 172 Nntp-Posting-Host: watnxt05.ucr.edu WWF PrimeTime Wrestling, shown on the USA Network 12.10.92 No opening credits, straight to the Bushwhackers v. Dale Hutchinson and Butch Banks (announcers Gorilla Monsoon, Reverend Slick). See last week's report for my commentary on Slick's commentary. Right off the bat, Monsoon tells us that the main event for Survivor Series is the Ultimate Madness v Flair/Ramon. Yes, the Bushwhackers, "licking and whacking" their way through the WWF win with the battering ram and double knee drop. The "Panel of Experts" is Hillbilly Jim, Hacksaw Jim Duggan (ICOPRO tank top), Vince McMahon, Bobby the Brain Heenan, and Mr. Perfect. The panel discusses the main event. Razor Ramon v. Steve May (Vince McMahon, Mr. Perfect). Ramon squash, wins with the "crucifix type move." Rick Martel (raincoat, hat, umbrella, no feathers) v. Victor Reeves (Monsoon, Bobby the Brain Heenan) Martel, for the millionth time, is a "former coholder of the Tag Team belts!" Sargeant Slaughter in a nice navy suit is seen halfway through the match, Monsoon and Heenan discuss his "unlimited powers." I guess his credentials are 1) face turn and 2) brutal beating at the hands of Nailz. Model wins with Boston Crab. Bob Backlund clips. Vince McMahon, a la Tom Brokaw, plays up Backlund and attempts to sound sincere. Backlund gives a no-gimmick guarantee..."I'm just me...and that's going to stand out..." Crush (yellow suit) v. Scott Zappa (no relation) (Monsoon, Slick) The only thing I liked about Crush matches is Finkel's way of saying "KERRRRR...USH!" but of course, Mike was announcing the match. Crush flashes Hawaiian hand signs to the crowd which doesn't react. Crush with head crush, which the marks now *beg* for. Panel discusses fitness and ICOPRO. Puh-leeze. Kamala v. British Bulldog (Monsoon, Lord Alfred Hayes) Finally a name/name match. Smith lifts the Ugandan Giant (What strength! What power!) but unfortunately Kamala falls on him. Kamala gets lots of boring offense and a boring hold. The arm falls twice, and Smith bites Kamala's skull. More boring Kamala offense, another boring Kamala hold. This goes on for about an hour, and the whole time I'm convincing myself Kamala will soon be wearing the IC belt. Smith FINALLY wakes up, two drop kicks, ten shots to the head, one monkey flip (wow!) and Paul Bearer walks in with a casket completely keeping Smith from earning a real victory. Smith kicks Kamala out of the ring. Kamala gets up, turns around, and sees the casket and does his hilarious slapstick flee through the crowd. Smith by countout, Paul wheels the coffin away (yeah, Mark's REALLY in there...) Lance Cassidy v. Tom Stone (McMahon, Perfect) The debut of Cassidy, announced "from the great state of Texas" by the Fink. He doesn't sing. Guns on trunks and boots. Says McMahon: "I don't think Stone's heard of Integrated Conditioning Programs." He is just a little too heavy to sell Cassidy's throws. Cassidy gets pin with flying body press. I think he'll get a dumb gimmick before too long, at least a dumb gimmick name, or how well will he do? He's no Terrific Terry Taylor... Mean Gene Okerlund interviews Sgt. Slaughter. "There will be law and order in the World Wrestling Federation...I guarantee it!" Huh. High Energy v. Brian Jewel and Kevin Johnson (Monsoon, Slick) All the talk is about Slaughter. What I want to know is, how come Tunney would never "overturn the referee's official decision" a la SS, TTIT last year, yet Slaughter can do all this and more (tm)? Both commentators call Jewel "Frank." Koko with drop kick off top rope into a Hart somersault for pin. Ware pulls up pants, and Owen helps (!). Sean Mooney with Event Center. Papa Shango interview. Bad rhyme, book of YBO lights afire. Challenges Bret Hart. Heenan: "Mooney! I hear you're getting married." Mooney: "Yes, that's true." Heenan: "I hear you're fiancee's buying a strobe light so it'll look like you're moving..." Promos: ICOPRO, GI Joe, Electronic Hot Shot Basketball Million Dollar Man, accompanied by IRS and Jimmy Hart v. Earthquake (Monsoon, Hayes) 'Quake doesn't want IRS around. Blind Dave Hebner orders Shyster back to the dressing room (that's Slaughter's influence!) After Hebner takes the count to nine, DiBiase hurredly signals for IRS to leave, which he grudginly does. Tenta throws DiBiase around like a rag doll. Twice DiBiase leaves the ring and asks for "timeout," what a ring veteran he is. Finally 'Quake tries the splash but because it's his partner's move he misses it and hits the canvas. Ted gets three choke holds and breaks at 4 every time. Quake helps himself up with the ropes, so Ted gets three rope choke holds broken at 4 each time. By now, 'Quake "can't breathe too well." DiBiase knocks Earthquake with a double axe handle off the top rope, but only gets a 2 count. DiBiase gets the reverse chin lock. Arm falls twice, 'Quake breaks the hold. DiBiase uses Earthquake's momentum to throw him out of the ring, and by the time he stumbles back in, DiBiase hits, punches, chops, and throws into the corner (Hayes: "This is vintage DiBiase!" Of course, he waits too long and jumps off the top rope into a boot. Quake has a resurgence, capped by Ted attempting a schoolboy and 'Quake sitting on him. Earthquake drops the elbow and gets the pin, and then taunts DiBiase by shoving the tag belt in his face. "Direct" from is Nailz. I guess no station would have him. "There's a new sherriff in town, and yer lookin at im! It's your turnto serve some haaaaarrrd tiiiime!" Won't say why he was in the slammer but says he has served his time. Drools. "Direct" from WTLK in Atlanta (!) is the Big Boss Man. Says Heenan, "Is it true that on Thursdays your mother used to visit Nailz?" Boss Man is fired up Unfortunately they forgot to turn off the voice distortion before Boss Man spoke, ruining the effect. No wonder they weren't both talking at the same time. Nasty Boys v. Jason Phillips and Jim Powers (Monsoon, Heenan) Powers says something to Knobbs while they're locked up but I couldn't make it out, looked like directions. Powers of course holds his own but like an idiot tags out to the jobber Phillips. Needless to say, he's worked over. Inset interview of Jimmy Hart. "Who's #1? Well, it's like the flip of a coin...heads I win, tails I win! Hahahaha..." Pit stop, slam. Sags tries the pin but pulls up the head at 2. Tag. Knobbs drops the elbow and pins for 2, pulls up the head. Tag. Power slam, flying slam, pin, but for the third time Phillips' head is raised after 2.. Blind Dave Hebner has had enough and rings the bell. The winners by disqualification are Jim Powers and Jason Phillips!!! The jobbers win! The jobbers win! "Crank It Up" is not played. Of course, this is SLAUGHTER'S influence...but I imagine this will keep the Nasty Boys from being #1. You know, the day jobbers win on the WWF is the day Herb Kunze gets his information from the Honky Tonk Man's 900 line. Blake Beverly v. Bret Hart (Monsoon, Hayes) I guess if the tag ranks are thin, ya split up the teams and schedule more single matches (last week: Koko v Michaels, this week DiBiase v Tenta) Monsoon says for the millionth time Hart/Smith was "the greatest match I've ever seen." Right. Blake, you'll recall, is the Beverly with the moustache, and he pulls Hart's hair many times to gain the advantage, unseen by (once again) Blind Dave Hebner. Hart makes a move, but the Genius pulls the feet. This Hebner does see and throws out the Genius (Slaughter's influence!) The Genius, filled with righteous indignation says "It was an accident!" on the way out. Are managers headed for retirement with this new policy? Beverly gets lots of offense and a couple 2 counts, but the tide turns and it is Hart getting the 2 counts. Finally Hart slaps on the Sharpshooter but before Beverly gives up, Beau comes out. Hebner turns to Beau and argues, Hart breaks the hold to argue with Beau AND Hebner, and Blake Pearl Harbors Hart for the pin. Oh wait, Slaughter comes in to the ring and argues with Hebner. A REVERSAL! Hart wins! Justice is served! Oh joy! Tatanka v. The Brooklyn Brawler (Monsoon, Slick) Why can't I buy a Brawler T Shirt? Kim Chee is pinned easily, because, you know, Tatanka's UNDEFEATED. Columbus Day is *NOT* mentioned. Max Moon (the Comet Kid) v. Jerry Fox (McMahon, Perfect). Fink announces "Maximillian," which I'm sure no one working at the WWF can spell. At least the jetpack is gone but he still looks like the Transformer from hell. Lots of pointless somersaults. McMahon with the eeriest quote of the night: "...also reminds me of that great athlete I used to see in the squared circle, what was his name...Curt...uh, uh, I forget his name uh, Perfect..." Now THAT was weird. Next thing you know, he'll be referring to Crush as "one half of Demolition." Moon wins with the WWF's version of Lucha Libre. Ha! Promos: Electronic Talking Battleship ("Yeah!"), WWF Figures, Super High Impact Football cartridges for Sega/Nintendo The panel does nothing interesting. Next week: Tito Santana v Kamala, Max Moon v The Model, Interview with Flair and Ramon, High Energy v Beverly Brothers, Randy Savage v Papa Shango A pretty boring week, but I attribute that to the lengthy (too lengthy) setup of the Slaughter angle. You know, if he REALLY had power, he'd have sent Crush or Ramon back to the dressing room to get a better gimmick. No Jamison. Amen! Christopher Zimmerman | "Even *with* IRS and Jimmy Hart, it's still kzim@watserv.ucr.edu | only three against five!" - Heenan on the kzim@ucrmath.ucr.edu | DiBiase/'Quake matchup