TV Playbook: ''Let's Add a Kid!'' - IGN (original) (raw)

Kids are great, aren't they? With their missing teeth and sideways baseball caps and saying embarrassing things at inopportune moments? Yes, everyone loves an adorable little kid, which is why networks are always gung ho about adding one (or two) to a TV family in the final seasons of a show. Of course, the cruel truth is that most of these shows already have a little kid in the cast, but just like cars, iPods, and Terminator models, eventually they became obsolete. Only years later, the dark days of puberty long behind, do those discarded child actors reach the promised land again, finding work as sarcastic talking heads on VH1 clip shows.

Adding a kid in the last few seasons is a classic TV cliché that has weaved its way into storylines for decades and is widely accepted as a last ditch effort to save a dying show. The amazing thing is that even though this hacky premise has been used for years, its record of success is spotty. The purpose of the article isn't to qualify whether or not adding a kid caused these shows to jump the shark (there's a good website you should check out in order to determine that) because some shows were able to successfully live on for years afterwards. Rather, the purpose is to show the creative ways that television shows handled this all too-popular cliché.

There's a big difference between adding a kid and adding a baby to a television show. We're going to deal with kids, not babies, so don't start crying because you don't see Friends, Moonlighting or The X-Files on this list. Some shows pulled double duty: doing a pregnancy storyline as well as magically aging the youngster into a walking, talking, punchline-delivery machine the next season and we'll cover those shows as well.

So, let's add a kid to our lives, shall we?

The Legitimate Children: I Love Lucy
Old Kid: None
New Kid: Keith Thibodeaux (Little Ricky Ricardo)

The crack research staff hidden in the bowels of the IGN fortress informs us that despite popular belief, I Love Lucy was not the first show to have an on-screen pregnancy (a show called Mary Kay and Johnny wins the prize). Regardless, Lucy's storyline was hugely popular and the actress' TV pregnancy coincided with her real-life pregnancy in 1953. On an episode in season two, a pregnant Lucy goes to the hospital and gives birth to Little Ricky, (aptly titled: "Lucy Goes to the Hospital").

However, once born, Little Ricky wasn't featured in many episodes over the next few seasons, probably because he couldn't do much more than eat, sleep and cry. For years, the Ricardo's and the Mertz's had a lot of on-screen adventures without Little Ricky bogging them down, (including a trip to California) but he finally made his first talking appearance in season six, the show's penultimate season. Given his birth in season two and the show's continued focus on the four main adult characters, it's difficult to call the addition of Little Ricky an egregious attempt to prolong the show.

Family Ties
Old Kid: Tina Yothers (Jennifer Keaton)
New Kid: Brian Bonsall (Andrew Keaton)

We're not going to cut Family Ties the same slack. Years before Tina Yothers was on Celebrity Fit Club and Brian Bonsall was running from the law, they both spent time as the youngest member of the Keaton family. In season three, when America was tired of Jennifer's long blonde locks, they dropped the pregnancy bomb and proved once again that all the LSD the Keatons took in the '60s didn't hamper their ability to procreate.

Using a device commonly known as "SORAS", (Soap Opera Rapid Aging Syndrome), little Andy defied the laws of God, man and nature and turned four years-old in season five, (a jump of four years in a span of two.) It's questionable whether or not the show needed to add another child. The Keaton house was already crowded and many of the scripts were geared towards the show's breakout star, Michael J. Fox, who played Alex Keaton. Nevertheless, toddler-Andy hung around for two more years, seemingly for the express purpose of having Alex turn him into a Young Republican until the show was cancelled in season seven.

Mork & Mindy
Old Kid: None
New Kid: Jonathan Winters

Maybe everyone was high on cocaine. Maybe they thought Robin Williams was talented and crazy enough to pull it off. Or maybe the network was desperate to recover the huge ratings the show had received its first season and they were willing to try anything. Regardless, in the show's fourth and final season, Mork & Mindy added a kid.

Of course, it being a show about an alien, this wasn't your garden-variety pregnancy. On Ork, (the planet that Mork was from), the processes of birth and aging were done in reverse, so instead of Mindy popping out a baby, Mork laid an egg and a "kid" named Mearth was hatched in the form of older actor/comedian Jonathan Winters. This decision did two things: it gave the writers new stories to tell and it addressed the problems of a newborn's inability to read cue cards. Unfortunately, audiences didn't take kindly to no Hollywood types messin' with our traditional 'Merican values of the women-folk doing the birthing and the show was cancelled soon afterwards.

The Stepchildren: The Cosby Show
Old Kid: Keisha Knight-Pulham (Rudy Huxtable)
New Kid: Raven-Symone (Olivia Kendall)

Among the many great things The Cosby Show gave us (laughter, tears, sweaters), few were more important than providing Generation X with a Hyphen of our very own. Move over Ann-Margret! Raven-Symone was here to play Olivia, the stepchild of Cosby kid, Denise Huxtable.

In season six, the Huxtable family went through the pregnancy wringer with the birth of twins from oldest daughter Sondra. However, Dr. William H. Cosby Jr. was not ready to succumb to the dreaded "SORAS" crutch, so the show devised a plot in which Denise returned from Africa with a ready-made cute kid in tow. Olivia was the three-year-old daughter of Denise's new husband, Martin Kendall, a divorced naval officer with sole custody. (Quick aside: what judge in their right mind gives sole custody to a father in the military about to be shipped overseas?) Denise and Olivia moved into the Huxtable house and Cliff was once again given an adorable smart-talking kid. Sorry Rudy, once you hit puberty, the darndest things you said weren't as funny.

Diff'rent Strokes
Old Kid: Gary Coleman (Arnold Jackson)
New Kid: Danny Cooksey (Sam McKinney)

Of all the shows that lost their dignity and added a kid, none was more soul-crushing than Diff'rent Strokes. Plenty of family sitcoms had more than one child, but none of them were so dependant on the youngest cast member. Let's be frank: Arnold Jackson WAS the show. Sure, Willis had his "drunk driving" episode, Kimberly had her "bulimia" episode and Mr. Drummond had his "build a skyscraper on stilts so as not to disturb the Indian burial ground" episode. But overall, people tuned in to see the kid with the catchphrase.

Unfortunately, you can't stop time. In season six, when Mr. D. informed his family that his new fiancée, Maggie, had a son, both Arnold and the viewers knew the end was nigh. Sam was literally the red-headed stepchild whose down-home country ways were diametrically opposite Arnold's Harlem-meets-Madison Ave. upbringing. An older, wiser and fatter Gary Coleman took on a role that didn't suit him: big brother. The show lasted two more seasons with Sam playing the rambunctious new puppy to Arnold's tired old dog waiting to be put to sleep.

The Adopted Kids:
Let's be clear about one thing: we here at IGN have nothing against adoption. For many families, it's the perfect solution. But just because it's a viable option in real life doesn't mean it can't ALSO be a tremendously hacky way to draw a few more seasons out of a dying television show. Adding an adopted kid to replace the older, not-as-cute-anymore kid, without having to rely on the "SORAS" device, has huge benefits: 1) The show doesn't have to play mad scientist with a child's lifespan. 2) The new scamp can walk, talk and have wonderfully comic misunderstandings with the family starting from day one. 3) The show doesn't have to pay a set of twins to play one character, thus preventing another set of Olsen Twins clones from being unleashed upon the world.

Family Matters
Old Kid: Bryton McClure (Ritchie Crawford)
New Kid: Orlando Brown (3J)

On Family Matters (which at this point has run away with the title for most TV clichés fully realized over the course of a series run), 3J the orphan was first introduced when Urkel decided to become a Big Brother. After a few appearances in season seven, the smart-talking little kid became a regular in season eight, when the Winslows searched high and low for him after learning he had run away from his group home. When the family realized how much they missed his street-wise witticisms, they decided to take him in.

In an ironic twist, it was Ritchie, the show's incumbent little kid, who hid 3J in the Winslow home after he ran away. With that selfless act, he inadvertently brought about his own demise as the character of Ritchie was eventually written out of the show's entire ninth and final season. Like so many other kids in this article, 3J shouldn't be blamed for the demise of the show, especially in this case, because that demise began at episode one.

Married...With Children
Old Kid: David Faustino (Bud Bundy)
New Kid: Shane Sweet (Seven)

Married...With Children was a lowbrow family comedy that has the distinction of handling the "add a kid" cliché better than any other show in the history of television. In the show's seventh season, the Bundy's adopted a mischievous little rascal named Seven, who was the son of Peg's hillbilly cousins. After a few unsuccessful attempts to shoehorn a little kid into the show's risqué plotlines, the writers involved him less and less, until they ultimately forgot about him. The Seven era lasted for less than one entire season.

Now, many shows have "disappeared" a character, (Happy Days and Family Matters, to name a few), but only Married...With Children was able to "disappear" the new little kid and live to tell the tale. Better yet, they made fun of it! In an episode after his removal from the cast, Seven's face was seen on the side of a milk carton in the Bundy's kitchen as the family went on with their sad-sack lives. After Seven's disappearance, the show continued for another four glorious years of gender stereotyping, lowest common denominator humor and busty, bikini-clad women.

A Cliché So Nice They Did It Twice: Growing Pains
Old Kid: Jeremy Miller (Ben Seaver)
New Kid(s): Ashley Johnson (Chrissy Seaver) and Leonardo DiCaprio (Luke Brower)

Growing Pains is one of the few shows with the dubious honor of adding not one, but two kids to their cast in an effort to breathe new life into the show. Not only that, but they completed the rare Daily Double by adding a kid via natural childbirth as well as adoption. (Technically, The Cosby Show did it too, but only with the help of grandkids.)

In season four, right around the time a show starts slowing down, the producers opened up the patented TV Playbook. Even though the Seaver house already had two teens and a pre-teen running around, and even though Maggie and Dr. Jason Seaver were getting up in age, they decided to complicate their lives even more. The parents got busy in the bedroom and a few episodes later, out popped Baby Chrissy. (Remember, this was in the days before Viagra, so kudos to the good doctor.) Chrissy was also subjected to painful "SORAS" experimentation, aging six years in three seasons and giving her the ability to hit cues, deliver punchlines and not poop her pants.

Not busy enough looking after all those kids at home, Dr. Seaver decided to go back to work in season seven, to look after more kids at an elementary school. Using his highly trained psychiatrist's eye, he discovered that a talented young student, Luke, was both extremely handsome and extremely homeless. With so much experience dealing with Mike (Kirk Cameron), Dr. Seaver knew how to prevent a Tiger Beat posterboy from going hungry and cold. The family soon adopted Luke, giving adolescent girls a new reason to watch TV.

Cousins and Neighbors:
A pregnancy storyline isn't right for every show. Maybe the main characters don't want a family, or they've already endured the miracle of childbirth more than enough times. Sometimes an adoption story seems too much like a sitcom cliché as well. So how can shows add children while tip-toeing around messy themes like sex, childbirth and confidentiality agreements? Easy! Just like real life, there's always a neighborhood rascal hanging around or a cousin who dropped by because their parents wanted them out of the house. Adding a cousin or a neighbor to a show is like a gift from the sitcom gods – all of the overacting, missed cues and flubbed lines with no strings attached. The Brady Bunch
Old Kid(s): Susan Olsen (Cindy Brady) and Mike Lookinland (Bobby Brady)
New Kid: Robbie Rist (Cousin Oliver)

Poor Cousin Oliver. Many blame him for the demise of their favorite childhood show, The Brady Bunch. Hell, his very name is the catchphrase that defines the entire "add a kid" cliché. However, upon further review, it's unfair to saddle Robbie Rist with all this guilt.

Yes, his arrival in the show's final season was a transparent ploy to boost ratings. Yes, it probably wasn't a good idea to add another kid to a show already stuffed with them. And yes, it probably wasn't a good idea to give him a storyline where he was immediately thought of as a jinx. But in truth, he was only on for six episodes, the show had had a long run (five seasons), Robert Reed (Mike Brady) wanted out, and it was time to move on. Let's all let Cousin Oliver rest in peace.

(As it turns out, Rist played essentially the same role - cute kid brought in at the last minute to boost ratings - on The Mary Tyler Moore Show, with the exact same results.)

The Facts of Life
Old Kid(s): All of them
New Kid: MacKenzie Astin (Andy Moffett)

After six seasons, The Facts of Life girls had grown up, graduated from Eastland Academy and were working at "Edna's Edibles", a bakery run by Mrs. Garrett, the show's matriarch. When the girl's hairstyles and waistlines started getting bigger, the producers decided to change things up again. In season seven, along with a change of venue ("Edna's Edibles" was burned to the ground and replaced with a New Wave tchotchkie store called "Over Our Heads"), the cute teen-aged neighbor, Andy, started hanging around.

The Facts of Life is unique in that before they started adding characters like Andy Moffett and George Burnett (George Clooney) later in the series' run, they actually expunged four original characters after the first season (including a pre-Sixteen Candles Molly Ringwald). It's the rare show to come full circle by getting rid of cute kids and then adding another towards the end. Andy was brought in as eye-candy for the prepubescent girls still watching and the show managed to hang on for three more seasons.

The Supernatural:
Sorry fanboys, even the great and powerful Joss Wheden falls for a nice cliché once in a while. There is zero chance anyone reading doesn't know the complete history of Buffy and Angel, so for fear of crashing IGN's servers with irate comments about whether the character additions were good or bad, we're just going to play Switzerland and state the facts: 1) When they arrived, Dawn and Connor were the youngest characters on their shows. 2) They weren't unattractive. 3) They were added at the tail end of the show's run. Therefore, they qualify for this cliché. Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Old Kid(s): All of them
New Kid: Michelle Trachtenberg (Dawn Summers)

During her first four seasons as the Slayer, Buffy Summers had to survive a number of challenges like scary Big Bads, boyfriends with baggage, high school cliques and a few hundred vampires. In season five, the show decided to put another obstacle in Buffy's way: a little sister. Dawn appeared literally out of thin air as an entity-in-human-form called "the Key." The magic involved gave other characters past memories of her, even though she never really existed. So in addition to trying to save everyone from vampires and other assorted demons, a recently orphaned Buffy Summers also had to worry about making sure her little sister stayed out of trouble.

This was a clever twist on the "add a kid" idea because the show used magic to explain how a teenaged sibling could suddenly appear without having to resort to the "SORAS" cliché. However, as the cast was getting larger with each passing season, some sacrifices had to be made to make room for Dawn. The show pushed aside more likable veteran characters like Xander in order for Dawn to whine and complain her way through show's final three seasons as the youngest member of the Scooby gang. Again, we're only stating facts.

Angel
Old Kid: None
New Kid: Vincent Kartheiser (Connor)

Joss Whedon added a kid to another of his cult shows and this time around, suspension of disbelief was even more necessary. Then again, when you have a vested interest in a show about a vampire protagonist, a green demon that can read auras via karaoke, and a human psychic alerted with visions of impending danger, suspension of disbelief comes with the territory.

The show took the "SORAS" device and gave it a supernatural twist in season three with the introduction of Angel's son Connor. Instead of just having the new kid appear like in Buffy, they turned Connor's maturation into a major storyline. Angel's old flame, Darla, returned from the dead with the shocking revelation that she was preggers, and Angel was the babydaddy. An enemy named Holtz kidnapped baby Connor and escaped to another dimension. Days later, the boy returned to our universe, not as an infant, but as a young man. This was justified because, as we all know, time moves at a different rate in other dimensions. Connor reappeared and he turned out to be a good-looking, able-bodied teenager ready to fight and brood along with the rest of the folks over at Angel Investigations for two seasons.

Real Kids on Real Shows:
Adding a kid isn't restricted to sitcoms or dramas. TV folks are always looking out for human-interest stories, and what's better than a human-interest story told from a kid's point of view? (Honestly? Everything…everything is better.) With all the newsmagazine and commentary shows out there, it's surprising there aren't more shows featuring real kids pontificating about current events. You know what? That's probably a good thing. Real People
Old Kid: None
New Kid: Peter Billingsley

Back in 1979, there was a newsmagazine show called Real People that focused on funnier slice-of-life stories than, say, 60 Minutes. There were seven original hosts, among them Fred Willard and Byron Allen. After a few very successful years in the ratings, the producers decided the stage wasn't crowded enough.

In the show's fourth season, they shook things up and added a young host to provide the "kid's-eye-view" that housewives everywhere can't seem to get enough of. Peter Billingsley, the bespectacled kid who played Ralphie in A Christmas Story was tapped as the new host to give his own take on the featured stories, proving that kids are adept at reading dialogue on film as well as in front of a live studio audience.

NFL Countdown
Old Kid: None
New Kid: Jason Krause

Just last year, ESPN's premiere football show, NFL Countdown, decided that they needed to separate themselves from the hundred other sports shows about huge, sweaty men trying to tear each other's limbs off on the way to scoring touchdowns. They needed someone to spew the same overworked jokes, false bravado and meaningless trash-talking that the regular announcers delivered, only with a dash of child-like innocence.

Ten year old Jason Krause was tapped to provide this unnecessary service and his segment, "Jason Krause: Takin' it to the House" aired weekly. Cynics everywhere guessed that his daddy had to be an ESPN suit for him to get the cushy gig. As it turns out, Jason's sister has brain cancer and he submitted an essay just like the rest of the folks who wanted the job and we retroactively feel bad about making fun of him.

Kids on Kids' Shows:

Power Rangers: Turbo
Old Kid(s): All of them
New Kid: Blake Foster (Justin the Blue Ranger)

If you're bored one afternoon, trying reading a timeline of the kids series Mighty Morphin Power Rangers (and all of its incarnations) on the Internet and see if you can keep the gun from your mouth. Rocket scientists at MIT would have a hard time unravelling all the space-time paradoxes and multiple cast changes, so what chance do we have?

In Season 5, (Power Rangers: Turbo), a cute little kid named Justin became a Power Ranger in contrast to the older teenagers who usually donned the uniforms. The obvious thinking was if kids liked the Power Rangers, they'd love to see one of their own as a member. After being introduced in Turbo: A Power Rangers Movie, twelve-year-old Justin took the mantle of the Blue Ranger. Via science, magic, or thrifty producers skilled at utilizing original Japanese footage, the youngest and shortest Blue Ranger was able to morph into an adult-sized body only when wearing his helmeted costume. However, his reign didn't last long as the other Power Rangers left him behind when they went into outer space at the end of the season. The addition of a cute little kid was not a hindrance to the show's success as the long-running franchise continues to provide martial arts studios and Halloween stores with plenty of customers.

Scooby-Doo
Old Kid: None
New Kid: Scrappy-Doo

You'd think Scooby-Doo was doing pretty well. He'd been the title character on his own cartoon for years, his pal Shaggy was providing him with all the Scooby snacks he could handle and in every episode, he got the crap scared out of him and lived to tell the tale. But then the marketing department got involved and saddled Scooby with a pint-sized pain in the ass.

Scooby's nephew, young Scrappy-Doo was introduced to facilitate new storylines as well as to sell more lunchboxes, party favors and toys. Scrappy was a feisty pup who was mostly bark and little bite and had a penchant for screaming "Puppy Power" at the top of his lungs to the joy of young consumers everywhere. Technically, he wasn't a "kid" per se, but the next best thing – a cute young puppy added to an established show for the purpose of extending its run. For the most part, it worked. Scrappy proved to be so popular that Fred, Daphne and Velma were dropped from the cartoon for a time and the show was re-named Scooby-Doo and Scrappy-Doo. People can argue in retrospect whether Scrappy was good or bad, but regardless, the show and Scooby's popularity have endured for decades. This phenomenon doesn't happen with every cartoon. Just ask Godzookie.