The Restaurant of Urine-Altering Cuisine (original) (raw)

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Some foods are noted for their ability to change the colour and/or odour of your urine. A good Chardonnay, for example can give a pleasant smell like... well, Chardonnay. Beetroot gives a nice pink colour, Artichokes a slightly strange smell, and so on...
This restaurant would serve beautifully prepared combinations of those foods which would give you (and maybe your friends - if you use those communal urinals in men's loos) a pleasant reminder of your meal the following morning.

(Anyone who wants to write a book promoting this as the next big fad diet, feel free).

01/10 Add dishes:
sdm: Jackfruit
UnaBubba & angel: Asparagus
pottedstu: sweetcorn, red pepper (served at the restaurant next door...)
StarChaser: Gatorade

Jackfruit http://www.proscite...op/display/jack.htm
[sdm, Sep 28 2001, last modified Oct 21 2004]

Asparagus http://community-2....paragusUrineandYou/
[angel, Sep 28 2001, last modified Oct 21 2004]

More asparagus http://my.webmd.com.../article/1671.51089
[angel, Sep 28 2001, last modified Oct 21 2004]

URINE DISCOLORATION BY AGENT http://micromedex.h...dx-fulldb/ddl80.htm
A veritable rainbow. [rmutt, Sep 28 2001, last modified Oct 21 2004]

Peter Farrelly at IMDb http://us.imdb.com/Name?Farrelly,+Peter
See his films, and his brother Bobby's. Do a joint search. [pottedstu]

Joen (and hence Ethan) Coel at IMDb http://us.imdb.com/Name?Coen,+Joel
[pottedstu]

The Skinny on why asparagus makes your pee stink. http://www.discover...970115/skinny1.html
Just 22 percent of survey respondents experience asparagus pee. [pottedstu, Sep 28 2001, last modified Oct 21 2004]

Joen (and hence Ethan) Coel at IMDb http://us.imdb.com/Name?Coen,+Joel
[pottedstu, Sep 28 2001, last modified Oct 17 2004]

The Skinny on why asparagus makes your pee stink. http://www.discover...970115/skinny1.html
Just 22 percent of survey respondents experience asparagus pee. [waugsqueke, Oct 05 2004, last modified Oct 17 2004]

[link]

| | Jackfruit [see link] is supposed to make your farts smell nice and sweet. Do farts count? Maybe you could break the menu up into 'fart', 'sweat', 'urine', 'turd', et cetera, not very appetising, but kind of fun. | | | ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ | |

| | "V", "Berocca", and all those energy supplements (read: placebos) make your piss turn into highlighter ink. Ask any circa 90s student. | | | ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- | |

| | You mean... you don't have communal urinals in women's loos?(Note - I didn't say that the appreciation of the colour/odour *had* to be a shared experience). | | | ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- | |

| | I don't think there's many women who would take the time to appreciate the colour. Maybe you'll start a new trend. | | | --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- | |

| | Looks like SOMEONE's seen one Farrelly Brothers movie too many. On the basis of grossness and tastelessness -- I say, throw this guy a fish!!!! | | | -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- | |

| | Oh *i, you're just jealousWhen men leave restroom without flushing, wimmenfolk can admire the wonderful sight and smell. | | | ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- | |

| | Mrs Jones gets 5th prize for her pikelets, 2nd prize for her flower arrangement and first prize for best colour. | | | ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- | |

| | Viz used to advertise itself as "The magazine that makes your piss smell of Sugar Puffs". I read it three times once and it didn't work. | | | ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- | |

| | I won't ask how you found that link, RonHamel... but the mail-order idea is good.Great links from UnaBubba who has urinal facts at his fingertips. | | | ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- | |

| | You may not like this, but it's better than next door: The Restaurant Of Things That Look The Same In Your Turds. Mmm, sweetcorn and red pepper. | | | --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- | |

| | Revel In Your Bodily Functions! Our gourmet chefs will prepare a complete symphony for the senses, giving complex aesthetic satisfaction to all aspects of the digestive process. From eating a delicious variety of courses, carefully timed in concert with delicately balanced liqueurs, our customers will enjoy the full spectrum of gastronomical delights. Excretory art unfolds hours after the meal - a delightful blend of sight, sound, and smell. | | | ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- | |

| | Sparki - just for the record, I have no idea who the Farrelly Brothers are. | | | ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ | |

| | My brother says that Gatorade ("It's made of sweat!") Fierce grape flavor turns post-consumer food black... | | | -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- | |

| | I haven't done field research on this... | | | ------------------------------------------- | |

| | [PS] Wasn't Fargo by the Coen brothers? I'd also like to add that Thai Green Curry makes your poo smell wonderful the next day. | | | ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ | |

| | Thanks for sharing stupop, I can safely say that 'Bubba is right about learning something new every day, even if you don't want to. | | | -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- | |

| | Personally I've always found that Mountain Dew comes out the same colour it went in... | | | ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- | |

| | Cohen. Or else it would have to be Coën, I think.Is Sparki the Farrelly bros.' PR company? Are the constant references to the Farrelly bros. actually a backwards way of advertising their films? Does anyone care who they are? Is it as obvious to everyone else besides me that they're quite crap and just in the same vein as other black humour/nonsensical/cult-ish film-makers but in a different league, i.e. crap? Could I be in a more foul mood today? | | | --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- | |

| | Lewisgirl: Are you *quite* sure " Bros.' " is acceptable punctuation? The Farrelly Brothers are mainly distinguishable from the wider world of grossness by being quite nice really. If you know a sweeter romantic comedy than There's Something About Mary, then that probably non-existent film is probably totally lacking in jokes and you'd never get a guy to watch it with you anyway. And the bit in Kingpin where he saws the horse's hooves off just kills me. Probably doesn't do much for the horse, either. Uh, anyway... | | | -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- | |

| | For anyone who doesn't know: Farrelly Brothers (Peter and Bobby) make gross but sweet-natured comedies: Dumb and Dumber, Kingpin, There's Something About Mary, Me Myself & Irene, Osmosis Jones. | | | ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- | |

| | Coen Brothers (no diaresis (sp?) ) (Joen and Ethan)make technically clever, often funny, but heartless comedies and crime films, too many to list, but my favourites are The Big Lebowski and Blood Simple. | | | -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- | |

| | Note for the religious: if God hadn't meant defecation and urination to be funny, for what reason exactly did he design it, because it sure isn't efficient or functional? | | | ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- | |

| | how is defecation not functional? I'd sure as hell be stuffed without it. ROFLMAO"Brothers" is a plural. "Bros." is an abbreviation. Possessive plural brother is " Brothers' "; I don't see why possessive plural abbreviated brother shouldn't be " Bros.' " | | | ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- | |

| | From alt.usage.english FAQ: | | | ------------------------------ | |

| |

Fowler recommends putting a "." only after abbreviations that do not include the last letter of the word they're abbreviating, e.g., "Capt." for captain but "Cpl" for corporal. In some English- speaking countries, many people follow this rule, but not in the U.S., where "Mr." and "Dr." prevail.

| | And you surely can't put a "'" after a ".". That's just nasty. Don't you want " Bros' "? Or does that bring back too many unpleasant memories of your late-80s musical tastes? | | | --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- | |

| | Defecation is indeed functional in the sense that we need to get waste material out of our bodies. What I would question is whether the mechanism we possess is really the optimal. The conjunction of sex organs and excretory apertures is somewhat unfortunate and one would guess unhygenic. How much nicer if the shitty and the pissy holes were combined and the intercoursy one was well apart. Put the nasty ones in your feet or behind your knees or somewhere nearer ground level. Alternatively, be like snails and have sex organs on your head. | | | ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- | |

| | 'God must be a civil engineer. Who else would put a sewer line through a recreational area?' | | | ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- | |

| | I read somewhere that the smell that urine takes on after asparagus consumption is only detectable by some people. Others are genetically predisposed to NOT be able to detect the chemical that causes the stink. I'm looking for a link to back it up but having some issues with coming up with the proper search string - patience[Later, much later. Sorry I never did find the right search string. In fact I never even looked - Awww, but angel did] | | | ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- | |

| | I once had a bit of solid waste that was almost as spartan, blanche white as the porcelain into which it was placed (and I have a witness!). If this restaurant could figure out what food that was, I'd never eat at Taco Bell again. | | | ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- | |

| | [lummox: see the first of angel's links] | | | --------------------------------------------- | |

| | absterge-- unless you had recently drunk barium to get x-rayed, white poo is not really a good thing. It indicates some trouble with the liver, gallbladder, or common bile duct, preventing the release of bilirubin (the brown coloring). If this was just for one day and you didn't feel sick, then... hm... maybe an unusually comfortable temporary gallstone. | | | ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- | |

| | I find 'and I have a witness' to be almost as weird... | | | --------------------------------------------------------- | |

| | ¯absterge: With god as my witness … but I've been steadily losing faith since about the age of 12. One *last* scatological miracle should be sufficient to restore my belief, though. | | | ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- | |

| | Actually, urine is pretty clean, disease-wise... It's actually an antiseptic, I've heard. | | | -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- | |

| | I have a theory that America is Anal-Retentive, in general. | | | -------------------------------------------------------------- | |

| | Whoa. I ate this baked pepper stuffed with other vegetables, among them shredded carrots and stuff, and my dump smelled like weed. An unusual departure from the norm... | | | --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- | |

| | That new Incredible Hulk green Hershey's chocolate syrup is yummy. But your dumps will turn dark green. For days. I've even had two-done dumps at the beginning and end of the chocolate digestion process. Very entertaining and a pleasant change from your usual dump color. Whatever that may be, except if your usual dump color is dark green, then don't bother with the Hulk chocolate syrup. | | | -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- | |

| | You could serve a before-dinner B-complex vitamin to help with digestion and get the urine flowing a nice bright green before the night is over. Also, isn't there a chemical compound (methylene blue?) which is colorless in water but turns bright blue in urea? | | | ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- | |

| | Methylene blue is not colorless in anything - it's blue in water, blue in milkshakes (thus it's used as an additive in stomach-tube formula so you can tell if any of the stuff is coming out the wrong pipe), and extremely blue when it spills all over a careless health-care worker. Unlike some other pigments it's excreted unchanged, so if someone managed to feed you some without you noticing (say in your coffee or other dark-colored beverage), you'll get a surprise when you pee. A timeless source of joy for medical students. | | | --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- | |

| | From experience th colour and odour is enhanced by not intaking fluids during your meal. | | | ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- | |

| | Another "stimulant" is coloured ice cream cones. But the effect is only seen when doing a number two. | | | -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- | |

| | pisstachios generally work | | | ----------------------------- | |

| | Night on Guiness = big black poo | | | ----------------------------------- | |

| | Cook acidic food in cast iron and have lovely green poops the following day. Eating 2 boxes of Altoids® in a single sitting will change your pee smell to peppermint. | | | ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ | |