Refrain of Memory (original) (raw)

[	My Mind	|	tired	]

XD I'm updating all my journals while Norton is doing a virus scan. It beats sitting here waiting... and waiting... and waiting. I am determined to get all the adware Norton detects off this computer - I'm tired of it! D:< So yes, updating the various journals I have lol.

I called in sick today at work cuz, well... I wasn't feeling good. I could feel it starting to sink in last night. Stuffy nose, slightly sore throat, small headache. All of which turned slightly worse this morning when I woke up. I tried for like 45 minutes calling work, but no one would pick up the damn phone so I eventually said fuck it and had my mom call while I went back to bed. Now... I figured I'd get back up in a couple hours. Boy was I wrong XD. I didn't get up to nearly four in the afternoon! LOL That right there just shows you how much I wasn't feeling well. Heh. I was surprised, but I shouldn't have been ^^' Ah, well... it was good I got the rest.

Life has been pretty much classes, work, classes, work, hanging-with-Nat-once-a-month, more work, more classes. Ugh. I swear to God, I'm gonna be so glad when this semester is over and I get my three weeks break between semesters. It's not that I don't like my classes, I do -- they're a lot better than the classes I was taking at OCC. But... the workload is almost outrageous, but that's partly my fault for not being consistent and leaving stuff alone until the last minute. On the other hand, I want to point part of that to the fact that I work strictly on the weekends and have no real "free-time" except for after school and who wants to be doing homework after sitting through classes most of the day? Not me, thank you.

Hopefully I can muster enough energy to do my drawing homework tonight that's due tomorrow and get my thumbnails done for my Design project 3 done that's due Wednesday. *sigh* The stupid shit I put myself through. One would think I've learned my lesson, but... this kind of behavior is classic ADD behavior. There are times when I think that bit of knowledge makes me think "it's okay" to do this kind of junk. Realistically, I know it isn't because it's gonna bite me in the ass when I get a real job out in the design workforce. I don't really talk about getting a real job too often, except when I'm complaining about T.J. Maxx (my personal hell), but... getting a real job scares the shit out of me. It means exerting some real independence and I don't know if I can really support myself when finally break away from my parents. I mean, I love my parents but I don't want rely on them forever. BUT, again... leaving is scary and I think that's why I'm like this now because I didn't go away to college but, once again... it was scary to me. I mean... I always have thoughts of failure and in the design world failure is like... your downfall because you won't get clients and jobs and... that is that. That is just fucking scary to me and now that I think about it, I'm asking myself why did I even choose this field to begin with? LOL Oh yeah, because I like art and design and that might be the only thing that saves me. God, I hope so ¬¬.

Onto happier thoughts. Hm, what else, what else? Oh yeah, this past Thursday I hung out with Nat (I tell ya, once a month practically). We went to GameSpot because I wanted to find a cheap copy of Final Fantasy VII, which I tell you now, I am LOVING. Nat wanted to buy manga at Waldens and I have to say I was royally surprised at the vast amount of manga she did buy. It was weird because between the two of us, I'M the one who buys stacks and stacks of it. This time around, though, she was the one who bought a whole bunch and I bought a measly one volume of DN Angel. ROFL We were joking so much about the switch in "roles." XD

Going back to Final Fantasy, I really am having a lot of fun playing it. Cloud is just so adorable in his pixelated form (yay for round hand! LOL) and just downright hot in Advent Children. God I cannot wait to see that in States. But I have to admit, Sephiroth - purely from an attracted point of view since I have yet to see him in the game - is much more hot in AC. Then again, Sephiroth fits perfectly for my white and long-haired bishounen fetish. I can't help it! Dante started it (except he doesn't have long hair, but it IS white!)!!! In DN Angel, I can already tell I'm gonna like Satoshi :D. White hair, I tell ya! It just gets me for some reason. I don't know why, but it does. Going back to FF again, I have to say that of the games I've played I really enjoy playing FF and DMC. Those two are really the only ones I keep going back to play. I guess the reason why I like DMC so much is that it's the first game I really played and actually got the hang of it and it didn't frustrate me too much the first time around. Haven't finished playing it (some day!), but I really enjoy playing it and can't wait for DMC3 to come out. As for Final Fantasy, I enjoy that because there isn't a lot of action, button pressing wise and weird combination attacks that I have agonize over. I hate dying right away, and it just makes me frustrated all the more when I keep going WHAT THE HELL AM I DOING WRONG THAT I KEEP DYING!!! I hate that! Hate.it. Anyway...

What else to talk to about? Hm... I guess thats it for now. Until next time...