Why you won't see big advertising here, a humorous take on advertising slogans. (original) (raw)

or

Now, more than ever, I can�t believe we�re not butter.

by TE Lawrence

Come see the softer side of our hard drive. The quality goes in before the name (and the beat) goes on. When we talk everybody listens and while we may not be supermarket to the world, we want you to be all that you can be. You�re in good hands; you are everyday people, even if you are seeing the USA in your father�s Oldsmobile. We�re everywhere you want to be, �cause you only go �round once, and we�re all in this together.

We know where the beef is and we don�t leave home without it. We�re about nothing and we�re written so you can understand it, because you�re worth it. We don�t hate you because you�re beautiful, and you can have it your way if you just do it and escape the ordinary. Like a rock, wait �til we get our [hands] on you. You�ll never let go, and we love what you do for me (us). Don�t mess with Texas Escapes, cause we�re all about you and the friendly skies, if you�ll just come back to Jamaica (Beach, that is). Taste us again for the very first time and we�ll absorb 47 times our weight in excess stomach acid, because it�s a great time to be silver. If gray hair is sneaking up on you, travel with someone you trust; it pays. How long has it been since you had a big steaming bowl of picante sauce in New York City? Well, that�s too long. We�re strong enough for a man, but pH balanced for a woman, and we�ll help you celebrate the moments of your life. We may be of the Pepsi generation, but we want to buy the world a Coke. We try harder to put you in the driver�s seat for the closest shave you�ve ever had. We�ll leave the light on for you, because nothing beats a great pair of legs. We�re heartsmart and the heartbeat of the heartbreak of psoriasis. You�ll wonder where the yellow went, when you double your pleasure with tiny little tea leaves. Did somebody say "we do it all for you?" We make money the old fashioned way, one investor at a time.