Boys will be boys - and also troublemakers. (original) (raw)

Ever do something you hoped your parents never found out about? Since both my parents are deceased, I offer the following incidents from my early life.

In about 1940, we had a large, gentle sow on the farm that always brought a large, healthy litter of pigs to life. She was my father's favorite. In the period between January and April, the sow become vicious and was finally sold because of her strange behavior. It was a puzzle to Dad as he never connected her actions to the new Daisy BB guns my little brother and I received for Christmas that year.

About the same time, we owned a huge old Leghorn rooster that dominated the entire farm. His sharp bill and sharper spurs dealt misery to everything in his path.

After a particular indignity to my brother and I, we concocted a plan of revenge.

First, we set a trap baited with grains of wheat. Next, we filled a large eye-dropper full of whiskey found beneath the seat in an employee's car. The trap fell. With a gunny sack in hand and oversized leather gloves, the dose was administered.

Dad and Mother discussed the rooster's antics for days and finally laid the blame on the dogs.

Then, there was the huge pet bull snake that no one was allowed to kill because my father believed he helped keep rattlesnakes away. He became so used to or maybe so disgusted with my brother and me carrying him around that he quit hissing.

We derived continuous enjoyment watching the antics of people finding the snake in strange places.

Considerable damage was incurred to the old fuel truck when employees hit the side of a cattle guard while returning to work.

It seems the big bull snake raised up out of the toolbox carried between the seats. Both men bailed out of the truck before the crash. This is where Don and I learned to hold a straight face at all times.

In later life, when we purchased a ranch in New Mexico, we inherited a foreman whom no one liked. Dad was puzzled when the man quit and moved in two days. He never knew about the empty Coke bottle inserted beneath his horse's tail the day before. The resulting bronc ride was of professional quality and enjoyed by all the neighbors gathered for roundup.

As a father of four ornery sons and uncountable greats and grands, I know a lot more than they think, but I don't think my folks knew about these incidents.

� Delbert Trew

"It's All Trew" - May 14, 2005 column