Top Tens Ways to Tell if Your Antique Dealer is Immortal (original) (raw)

1. Their old turn-of-the-century photographs have the store owner in them.

2. They shake their head while reading eye-witness accounts of Lincoln's assassination.

3. Your change contains half dimes and three cent pieces.

4. They claim their 1879 tattoo is the tattoo artist's mistake.

5. They keep getting Richard Burton, the explorer mixed up with Richard Burton, the philosopher and Richard Burton, the actor.

6. Their "John Hancock" is actually John Hancock.

7. The fact that they have a buy one, get the second one for half price sale on Guttenburg Bibles.

8. They give you a quill to sign your credit card slip.

9. They keep comparing Bill Clinton to Milliard Filmore.

10. They're astounded at the difference between Texas "and the rest of Mexico." �John Troesser
See also: "Antique Dealers as Immortals"