Texas Humor - Miss Texas Escapee 1999 winner (original) (raw)

Announcing The Winner of The Texas Escapes Bathing Beauty Contest of 1999*
Previous page - Finalists Now after weeks of decision and mental anguish by our selected jury of plastic surgeons and veterinarians, we proudly announce Miss Texas Escapee for 1999:
swimsuit girl
MISS TEXAS ESCAPEE, 1999 DOLORES DeCOLORES
Swimsuit girl DOLORES DeCOLORES from FLORESVILLE Born: Sherwin Williams, Nebraska Greatest Accomplishment: Being first bathing contestant to appear in color. Quote: I�ve spent my entire life in black and white except for 14 months in sepia. I�m ready for a change. My entry photo looks like hand tinting but it�s actually a pink full body tattoo. Pet Peeve: I don�t like being called a tinted person. I prefer "a person of tint".
In addition to her title and crown, Ms DeColores wins her weight in sausage from Earl�s Meat Market, a bath and dip for herself and her pet from the Fayette County Veterinary Clinic and a get-out-of-jail free card from the Sheriff�s department, good for one felony or two misdemeanors.
*This contest is politically correct since all contestants are old fashioned girls who enjoyed the blatant display of their beauty.
All photos TE archives. Any resemblance to persons living or deceased is your problem. Click here: Miss Texas Escapee 2000