A History of Mexico in 2000 Words. (original) (raw)

[Previous page]

Along came the Toltecs in 700 A.D., fusing their proud desert heritage with all that had gone before. Their empire reached south to Central America and north to the Anasazi tribe in what is now the Southwestern United States. Today these same states are where U.S. citizens illegally enter Mexico.

Eventually, the Toltec civilization declined, giving rise to the Aztec/Mexica. With cunning political maneuvers and ferocious fighting, the Aztec/Mexica pulled off a rags-to-riches story becoming rulers of Mexico in about 1400 A.D. Some say Karl Rove was responsible, but that rumor has never been confirmed. 300,000 Aztec/Mexica presided over a wealthy empire of about 10 million people, where the poor paid tribute. Today, we call these tributes "income tax."

Mandatory education for all males regardless of class was required by the Aztec/Mexica, though there was no mandatory busing. There were two types of schools: one for military and practical studies (telpochcalli), and one for advanced learning in writing, astronomy, statesmanship and theology (calmecac). There were no fraternity houses available for John Belushi to moon the Aztecs.

By 1519, Tenochtitlan, the capital, was the largest city in the world, populated by 500,000, compared to London's paltry 80,000. Their legal system was a tad harsh, most crimes being punishable by death in an effort to keep the prison population to a minimum. Atop the pyramids, even before Thomas Edison invented the movie camera, the Aztecs had daily matinees featuring still-beating hearts ripped out of thousands of accused criminals even Johnnie Cochran could not save.

Then some extremely discourteous Spaniards came to conquer. They sat astride fire-breathing horses, which confounded the Aztecs who had not seen horses before. Because it appeared to them as though the Spanish soldiers were growing out of the horses' backs, they deduced that the soldiers must have been sent by the gods. This conclusion gave rise to the term "�Aye Caramba!" which is still in use today.

Aztecs fought savagely with stones, arrows and javelins against Spanish firearms, cannon and aid from indigenous allies, angry and resentful about paying tributes. Still, it took seven bloody months for the Spanish to win. Those vanquished Aztecs who did not die in battle died from imported smallpox. This cleared the way for Cortes who, when he realized he couldn't pronounce Tenochtitlan, became so enraged, he leveled the entire area and renamed it Mexico City.

Out of the rubble, Phoenix-like, arose a cultural mix of Spanish conquerors and native women, allegedly taken as a measure against revolt by natives. Truth is that the women were so pretty and compliant, the conquerers found them irresistible and produced a cornucopia of children called "mestizo." Others were called Jos�, Pablo and Maria. next page