No Time to Cut My Hair (original) (raw)

No Time to Cut My Hair
A Ninety-day Adventure in Short Story Writing by William Michaelian

Author�s Note: Welcome to my latest assault on common sense. If you like what you find here, please tell everyone you know. In fact, tell everyone you don�t know. (A full-page ad in your local newspaper will do just fine.)

Dedication: For Archie, Kirk, Willie, and Al � wise old elks and lovers of bullfrogs

Preface

August 2002
Story 1: The Old Language � Post Date: August 2 (885 words)
Story 2: Poppy � Post Date: August 3 (1,632 words)
Story 3: Cold Beer on a Hot Day � Post Date: August 5 (2,031 words)
Story 4: The Artist with the Frozen Teeth � Post Date: August 6 (945 words)
Story 5: The Empty Room � Post Date: August 8 (1,875 words)
Story 6: Oliver Hansen � Post Date: August 10 (2,841 words)
Story 7: Three Verses � Post Date: August 11 (567 words)
Story 8: The Zahmprufin Affair � Post Date: August 12 (1,344 words)
Story 9: Life Unplugged � Post Date: August 14 (664 words)
Story 10: Homeless � Post Date: August 15 (1,144 words)
Story 11: Lines � Post Date: August 16 (1,100 words)
Story 12: Stupid Beautiful Country � Post Date: August 18 (1,246 words)
Story 13: After the Rain Came � Post Date: August 20 (3,284 words)
Story 14: In Praise of Modern Medicine � Post Date: August 22 (1,254 words)
Story 15: Lumps on a Gourd � Post Date: August 24 (1,554 words)
Story 16: A Threat to Security � Post Date: August 25 (1,334 words)
Story 17: Broken Dishes � Post Date: August 26 (723 words)
Story 18: Aram�s Funeral � Post Date: August 28 (1,760 words)
Story 19: The Final Days � Post Date: August 29 (423 words)
Story 20: The Toad � Post Date: August 31 (2,091 words)

September 2002
Story 21: Genesis Revisited � Post Date: September 1 (804 words)
Story 22: Dreams and Bones � Post Date: September 3 (2,053 words)
Story 23: Heavy Metal Pews � Post Date: September 4 (661 words)
Story 24: My Lemon Tree � Post Date: September 5 (1,019 words)
Story 25: Filling in the Blanks � Post Date: September 6 (1,068 words)
Story 26: Paralyzing Definitions � Post Date: September 8 (488 words)
Story 27: A Way to Survive � Post Date: September 10 (1,483 words)
Story 28: The Death of a Tiny Bird � Post Date: September 11 (1,422 words)
Story 29: Nothing � Post Date: September 12 (1,530 words)
Story 30: Watching the Tide � Post Date: September 14 (1,808 words)
Story 31: Naneh and Her Friend the Sun � Post Date: September 15 (983 words)
Story 32: The Angel Who Questioned God � Post Date: September 17 (1,276 words)
Story 33: Why I Never Ride the Bus � Post Date: September 18 (532 words)
Story 34: Eight Plots in Search of an Author � Post Date: September 18 (1,166 words)
Story 35: Ugly � Post Date: September 19 (1,442 words)
Story 36: The Oil of Zozz � Post Date: September 21 (2,452 words)
Story 37: The Board of Education � Post Date: September 22 (1,408 words)
Story 38: Van Gogh�s Dream � Post Date: September 23 (200 words)
Story 39: A Senseless Story for Senseless Times � Post Date: September 25 (1,365 words)
Story 40: A Question of Balance � Post Date: September 26 (1,000 words)
Story 41: Melvin and Mel � Post Date: September 27 (1,292 words)
Story 42: I Know I�m Not Alone � Post Date: September 28 (947 words)
Story 43: Seto�s Grief � Post Date: September 29 (1,406 words)
Story 44: A Surprise Visit � Post Date: September 30 (1,110 words) October 2002
Story 45: After the Storm � Post Date: October 1 (2,115 words)
Story 46: The Long Way Home � Post Date: October 2 (1,228 words)
Story 47: The Flip of a Coin � Post Date: October 3 (1,454 words)
Story 48: My Real Name � Post Date: October 4 (1,068 words)
Story 49: Her Real Name � Post Date: October 5 (1,500 words)
Story 50: The Light and the Dream � Post Date: October 7 (886 words)
Story 51: Ralph�s Dilemma � Post Date: October 8 (733 words)
Story 52: Ghosts � Post Date: October 9 (279 words)
Story 53: As It Is Written � Post Date: October 10 (687 words)
Story 54: The Story that Never Was � Post Date: October 11 (839 words)
Story 55: A Lesson to Remember � Post Date: October 12 (1,180 words)
Story 56: Jesus Was a Better Carpenter � Post Date: October 13 (1,714 words)
Story 57: How to Settle an Argument � Post Date: October 14 (1,038 words)
Story 58: The Man on the Sidewalk � Post Date: October 16 (550 words)
Story 59: Ice Cream � Post Date: October 16 (703 words)
Story 60: On Any Given Day � Post Date: October 17 (1,135 words)
Story 61: It�s Not for Me to Say � Post Date: October 18 (1,176 words)
Story 62: Timothy Leary�s Dead � Post Date: October 19 (877 words)
Story 63: Hard Times � Post Date: October 21 (605 words)
Story 64: The Ritual of Disorder � Post Date: October 22 (1,896 words)
Story 65: No Fault of His Own � Post Date: October 23 (1,443 words)
Story 66: Star Light, Star Bright � Post Date: October 24 (673 words)
Story 67: At the Front � Post Date: October 25 (943 words)
Story 68: The Strange Story of William Flumay � Post Date: October 26 (917 words)
Story 69: A Walk in the Park � Post Date: October 27 (1,528 words)
Story 70: A Lullaby for the Human Race � Post Date: October 29 (2,086 words)

Statistics
Consecutive days of writing: 90 Number of stories written: 70 Number of stories liked by my mother: 70 Number of words written: 86,865 Average number of words written each day: 965 Longest story: 3,284 words Shortest story: 200 words Average number of words per story: 1,241 Number of stories that take place on Mars: 1 Number of stories that take place on a bus: 2 Number of stories without punctuation: 1 Number of stories with only one paragraph: 4 Number of stories with one or more Armenian characters: 11 Number of stories in which a hitherto unknown language is used: 3 Number of stories in which each paragraph has the same number of lines: 9 Number of stories in which each paragraph begins with a consecutive letter of the alphabet, beginning with A and ending with Z: 1