[Supernatural][Sam Winchester][#2/13 movies;books] Aftermath: My Life With the Winchesters, Part 16 (original) (raw)

Title: Aftermath: My Life With The Winchesters, Part 16C
Author: my_sam_dean
Set + Theme: Set 2, Theme 13 - movies; books
Fandom: Supernatural
Pairing(platonic or romantic)/Character/Threesome: Sam Winchester
Rating: R (NC-17 for the story overall)
Genre(s): Drama
Warning(s): One ofc is with each of the three Winchester men at separate times. No threesomes. Possible triggering matierial
Word Count: 1,142
Disclaimer/Claimer: I own nothing Supernatural.
Summary: Everyone deals in their own way. Nora and Dean argue. Sam and Nora spend a night in.

A week passed. Then another.

John was supportive but he still felt miles away even when we were in the same bed.

Sam seemed as sad as me. In the short time the idea of a baby had been a possibility, he’d set his heart on it. With the baby gone, he shattered and I was in no condition to help him mend.

Dean just avoided me. The smart alec comments began to sound cruel instead of jesting. He never mentioned a word about that trip to the hospital.

All in all, I felt alone.

Since the shot had failed as birth control and knowing that I could not go through a repeat of events, I went back to pills. I filled as many months as I could when we stopped in a town with a pharmacy that was either big enough to not feel the loss if we paid with fake credit.

John was gone, dealing with he local authorities. The library had swallowed Sam alive trying to figure out their current case. Dean kept busy cleaning guns and sharpening knives when he was left at the motel with me. Needing something to concentrate on, Sam had given me some books that had the basics of hunting. I threw myself into reading them and learning more.

Dean said something that I didn’t catch. “What was that?” I looked at him over my book.

“I asked if you took your pill today.”

“Why would you even ask me that?” I was hurt. After not saying anything for so long, that was what he came up with?

“Considering the recent past, it’s a valid question,” he stated with a calm voice, still working on the weapons.

I marched over and nearly shoved him off his chair. “How dare you! Do you think I somehow orchestrated this situation all by myself? I think I’ve been patient with you. I’ve ignored your pissy attitude but you’ve gone too far.” I tried to swallow the lump in my throat. “The baby is gone. There was a thirty-three percent chance that you were the actual father. But, I know for damn sure that the baby was mine.”

Stunned, Dean couldn’t do much more than stare at me. He looked like a fish as he tried to think of what to say.

“Get out. I don’t need this. Get out.”

I turned on my heel and went to the only refuge the motel offered, the bathroom. I listened at the door until I heard him leave. Then, I sat down on the edge of the tub and regretted what I’d screamed at him.

***

“I thought we’d have a nice evening in.” Sam came knocking with some take out and a couple movies. “I didn’t know what you would want to watch so I picked a few.” He was trying so hard to get back to where we were before.

I welcomed him in and got a whiff of the food. “Chinese?” I asked hopefully.

“You bet.” He set the containers down, and opened up the silverware. “This case is a tough one to crack so I decided to take the night off. We haven’t had an actual date in such a long time.”

“We’ve had dates?” I smiled at the thought.

“Well, sorta. Whenever we were alone was a date even when we didn’t go anywhere. I’d love to take you out drinking or dancing if that’s what you like doing. Maybe we could find a museum or other cultural place to visit. It could be fun.”

“I’m only up for having our dates in. Going out sounds fun but I’m just not there yet.”

“There’s no rush. We should get to eating our grub here. It goes cold way too fast. Dig in.”

For a few hours, I was lighthearted Nora once again. I was safe in Sam’s arms and he kept whispering all the wonderful things about me in my ear.

The movies ended late. John had come to ask Sam a question about a symbol. Sam was going to leave to find it for him.

“Have you seen Dean?” I asked.

“He was in our room when I went out to get the movies and food. I don’t think he’s there anymore.”

I nodded. “There were some harsh words I said.”

“He’s had some harsh words of his own lately.”

“Where do you think he went?”

“Watering hole,” Sam replied. He could see the wheels turning in my mind. “Do you want me to escort you there?”

“No. I’ll be fine. By the time you and John figure out that symbol, I’ll probably be back and sound asleep.”

“If you say so.” He gave me a quick kiss on his way out the door.

***

I fussed in front of the mirror trying to make sure I looked okay to go out. There was no way to cover how pale I was with bags under my eyes. My clothes hung a little on my frame since I hadn't been able to eat. I made myself look as presentable as I could and decided it would have to be good enough.

When I opened the door to the bar, I was overwhelmed with the cloud of smoke and blaring music. I stepped in the door and to the side until my eyes could adjust. I scanned the room and saw several women that were dressed to the nines. I stood there in my jeans and boots and thought about turning tail and running. Then, I remembered that I'd come there for a reason, and I had an apology to make.

Dean was sitting at a booth in the corner all by himself. He was staring into his empty mug like it was a crystal ball. He looked so forlorn that my heart ached for him. I took a deep breath and forced myself to cross the distance to the booth and slide in the opposite seat.

Dean didn't even look up.

"I'm sorry," I squeaked. I cleared my throat and tried again. "I shouldn't have exploded at you. I'm sorry."

I sat there waiting for some kind of response. Dean sat there wordlessly for a few minutes that seemed like a lifetime. Then, he stood and I just knew that I'd lost him. My stomach dropped and I began to wonder where I should start my life over because surely John and Sam wouldn't want me around anymore if I was causing problems.

My tears fell on the table. I felt adrift and totally lost.

Then, a rough hand was extended into my line of vision along with a deep, "Let's go." I felt relieved when his warm hand closed around mine and let him help me to my feet. He put his arm around me as we wove through the crowd to the exit.