H (original) (raw)

He'll never know because I'm anonymous and he doesn't check communities like this one, but I'm saying it anyway.

Your real name doesn't start with H, but your livejournal and nickname do. You're "H" to me, always. You were my best friend for many years - before and after we dated. In fact, you still are. We've known each other for ten years, we were together for three years, and it's been three years or so since we broke up. Still, I don't think I'm ever going to be able to get past the fantasy that I'm going to end up with you. It's weird, though, because as long as we live across the country from one another, we're probably going to see other people. And I don't know about you, but no matter how great the guy is I curse him constantly for not being you. I've had a boyfriend for over a year now. He's NOT YOU.

Too bad you're completely emotionless and never talk about these things now that we've broken up, and I'll never know how you feel unless I beat it out of you. I've seen your sensitive side, so I know it's there. You can stop hiding it now! I just want to know if I still mean anything to you at all. I hurt you once, but I won't do it again given half a chance.

You've hinted at moving here. I don't even know how to START to think about what that could mean! You could wreck my comfortable life, but that is probably EXACTLY what I need. I need you in my life. I need you close. I love you. I LOVE you. But no matter what happens, I'm happy I know you and I hope you never leave my life.