Albus and Minerva for Grownups (original) (raw)

moon_very_thin has given me permission to post these observations she made in her journal:

1. Minerva is not now, nor is it likely that she ever was, a spritelike maid of unspeakable beauty who must hide her divine appearance behind glasses and a strict demeanour. Please burn all your copies of 'Now Voyager' right now.

2. The idea that a man of 150 and a woman of 70 would both be virgins prior to each other may seem romantic, but only to a selective audience. For my part, it makes my head explode.

3. The information we have about Minerva could fit on a postcard, even if written with a large and unwieldy crayon, with illustrations included. Have fun with this fact. Having her fall in love with Dumbledore at 11 and do nothing but pine after him for 49 years is not just creepy, it's boring.

4. If Minerva ever caught herself thinking "I feel just like a giddy schoolgirl again" she'd probably blow her own brains out with a banishing charm.

5. Dumbledore is the man in charge (however reluctantly) of getting the wizarding world through this war. He's also responsible for the protection and education of the youth of wizarding Britain. We don't know what he does all day, but chances are he does *not* sit in his office thinking "I wonder how I can get my deputy to snog me."

6. Dumbledore is eccentric, but he's not mentally subnormal. While he may make unusual or elaborate romantic gestures, having him dress up as a giant cat and sing Britney Spears songs at Minerva's window may not be The Right Way To Go.

7. A bad fic is a bad fic regardless. You don't get brownie points for inclusion of a lemon scene or use of the word 'erection'. Don't try to distract us by appealing to our libidos.

8. If they've been working together for 40 years, it's not likely that either of them is going to suddenly break down under the pressure of unrequited love, without a bloody impressive catalyst. And no, "Merlin on a bicycle, I've suddenly realised I've been in love with him/her for 40 years? So that's what that feeling was! I thought it was indigestion!" is not going to cut it.

9. The collective staff of Hogwarts probably have more to do than sit around plotting how best to trick their superiors into sleeping together. They probably have more sense, too.

10. I like to think I'm a fairly even-minded person, but if you decide that 'for the purpose of this fic' the pairing only works if you change the age difference then I *will* hunt you down and garotte you with your own keyboard cord.

I don't know about you people, but I think these are words to live by! ;-)