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Stephanie Looong
akidcalledsteph
2005-11-22 21:22:00
Man, I sure am on the computer a whole lot...
I really should spend more time on my real journal. I just seem to always be so exhausted at bedtime lately- I just want to crrrash.
I went to my women under pressure thing today and realized that I am always quite negative there. Like I use it as a forum for venting or for self-pity or whatever. That is crap.
I did have a really shitty time with my mom yesterday and she did make me feel that no matter how I look/ what I accomplish- I will still be doing something- probably numerous things wrong such that anything I complain about I obviously brought on myself so I should just shut the fuck up and eat a steak. BUT, then I came home to my guinea pigs and my lovely WARM apartment where I feel more at home than anywhere I've lived in Toronto and felt SOOO GOOD and so happy and I usually am a good-feeling girl. So I really cannot wallow in this woe stuff. My mom is in London and probably bitter and lonely and freezing her ass off in her frozen utility-conserving home. And I'm here and I'm doing quite well- going to go home and write some Christmas cards and do some knitting and slowly but surely morph into the grandma that I am inside- just for an evening. And maybe Andrew and I will play a board game or watch the L-word because we seem to be completely addicted to our burned cds and fuck man, that is the good life. I will not complain about that.
I am amazed that I seem to have the paper-writing in a good, non-stressful swing. I don't love that Robarts 13th floor with its dry air sees so much of me but its a calm and quiet place and I make decent stuff up there.
I have to go on a class trip tomorrow- seriously- and I really really don't want to.
Alright- here goes. I'm going to potentially write in here regularly. Either here or in a real journal... I'm not sure if I like the fact people can…
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