and there she flies; (original) (raw)

This is goodbye.

My name is Aki Hikaru and this will be the last post on this journal.

I will not be reachable through this site's comments and private messages any longer.

Not that I have actually been recently, anyway.

This has been a decision made after months of deliberation and rationalization. It took quite a long time, but it is here.

I am officially locking down my journal and my fic community.

I had initially planned to delete them because I had wanted to be completely disassociated to the pieces I have posted. However, I could not bring myself to simply delete all the love I received. There are comments that remain close to my heart; I do still visit them whenever I feel terrible about myself and my writing.

Thus, this decision.

Having said that, I want to clarify that I am not quitting writing. I will never stop writing. It is a passion—something I truly love doing. I will remain to be a writer.

The only difference is that I will not do so under this name and on this site any longer.

Another thing I mean to clarify is that I am not quitting the fandom. EXO remains to have a special spot in my heart.

Granted, I may not be actively screeching about them in EXOChocolate, or in Twitter, for that matter, I still remain quite attached to them as they have helped me in ways they never would know or understand.

That special spot will always be reserved for them.

On that note, I would like to say a few more things:

To my exorelieffund recipient, I do not know where you are now and I have no idea how to contact you. We used to be friends on line, but you vanished there and I couldn't seem to find you here. I was meaning to ask you about Tao, because I had a TaoHun fic for you but then he left and I think you did too. Now I feel like I didn't do anything for you but you paid and I feel really horrible for this. If this ever reaches you, please, please hit me up. This is incredibly important to me.

To my LJ friends who would still want to fangirl with me or talk to me about anything, I am still accessible through twitter and tumblr. Had you originally followed my personal tumblog, the same will be made inaccessible this month as well.

To those who have questions, if there are any of you, I will be responding to those questions on those sites as well.

To those who want to read my pieces despite it all, I will be reposting only those I am quite proud of and those I have invested a lot of time in. They will be found on AO3.

At this point, I have decided to repost only a few—around ten. I do not believe that I will change my mind, but that will remain to be seen. Who knows.

AND SO! To end this on a positive note because I will not be me if I was not positive:

I want to say thank you to all of the people I have encountered on this website. You have been such an amazing influence in my life, no matter how little or how huge our interactions were. My LiveJournal experience had been such an eye-opener and I will never regret having been here.

I have made incredible friends on this site; some have left while some remain to be my friends to this day. Know that I love each of you dearly and that I am always here (well not here here, but at least on twitter) for you if you need someone to talk to.

I have received only love and support from everyone here and I know not many has been that lucky. I may not have made it big but having the constant support of a few is good enough for me.

I will continue writing; you may find me one way or another, but I will never acknowledge being Aki Hikaru ever again. You will never know the answer, but should you have asked, know that it would have brought a smile to my face, just as every recommendation of my fics had been.

It has been one hell of an experience and I know I would not have grown that much without you all.

So, for one last time, I say:

Thank you so very, very much.

And with that, this is Aki Hikaru signing off.