poetic flashbacks (original) (raw)

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Jul. 29th, 2005 @ 01:02 pm Up and commingAbout this Entryboomkentoc:Leave a commentPermanent LinkTare from me the heart that slumbers deep with in my chest I’ve given you the more of love but the stress makes it seem lessWake me from what could have been a long and peaceful restInsight in me the tragedy of all this that came before Then leave my soul a lonely mess now writhing in the floorAll this pain that leaves me vexed has stressed me to extremes To know that you are just the same does bring me some reliefFor now I know that all I ever thought would come to passThat there will be not one surprise and nothing good can lastI’m holding fast to what I have not what I’ve cast a sideBut you still think that all these thoughts are in my mindThe bitter end will come again my dear I know this muchIf you would just have settled babe we could have stayed in loveNow I’m forced to know that you will leave me that’s a factAnd though it hurts to know it I will love the time to pass
Jul. 27th, 2005 @ 02:08 am I can not knowAbout this Entrychainkentoc:Leave a commentPermanent LinkCurrent Mood: curiouscurious the pain of her women hood echoing through the soft sighing breath that seems to speak of eminent end. intimacy surly pleasing still but with an aching wave of agony that next time she may leave better in disguise. these trying times her longing is only not to be alone less her heart stop the beat and her mind give to the erratic stresses of life. she can visualize the end being brought on so abruptly in the heat of an udder lack of sexual passion so her flame though minuscule in nature appears to him as vibrant and effulgent and her need for the oneness is over exasperated to the extreme if only to bring him a better sense of self. and the esteem does charge her with the self persecution that leads her to her dyeing daily. a simple fragmented thought that never fully becomes evident to her lover less he search for just such an imperfection as this. why do I let her die in my arms. where is my self control.
Jul. 26th, 2005 @ 04:23 pm SaturatedAbout this Entrychainkentoc:Leave a commentPermanent LinkCurrent Mood: curiouscurious Broken tides of a misty river long. Near remnants of a lucid song.The essence of unchanging power the current running strong.Upon Forbidden lengths of rapids tread by pros so blue.That is where my heart resides and where it met with you.Now in the distends hear my call though I speak no words at all.Hear me on the mountain tops and in the Precipice so deep.Hear me while your dancing joyful lost alone in sleep.Feel my eyes remembering the dimples on your cheeks.The timid way that every day your mind now strays to me.
Jul. 11th, 2005 @ 06:26 am SearchingAbout this Entryboomkentoc:Leave a commentPermanent LinkTo this paper I place words. To this air no sound is heard Nothingness now split by light Shinning now so bright its white Blinding fields of bloodstained grass Of wars we thought would never pass, And memories now gone to fast The past now in the looking glass So far from me so hard to see Reflections of my history Now watch me lay destructive seeds For lower self esteem to feed Think now deeply hardly zest To all my evils I‘ll confess To know what I’ve done the very best So my thoughts on good and bad can rest Thank my god for I am blessed He’s kept me out of such a mess Protecting me as I digress And fall back in to my darkness Admit to nothing I suffice To social eyes this dark is nice I grow so used to black and white The colors now would be too bright Conflicting on my standard sight The piercing swords of those I spite But still I feel that I am right So why can I not sleep at night Bear down on my humbled soul So many directions I am pulled My cup will never be so full My destructive seed a useless tool So what in power can I find? Inside my soul a great divine Never mastered but so sublime Residing there for all of time © David Rutledge
Jul. 11th, 2005 @ 06:23 am could she knowAbout this Entryboomkentoc:Leave a commentPermanent LinkCurrent Mood: contemplativecontemplative Do you even see me violently erupting? Holding on to something, that’s not even there. Knowing I'm not in your eyes when you are loving something. Now why am I to dream to night of holding on to you so tight? Why dose it then feel so right laying in your arms tonight. Your eyes are strands of code to me. I'd study them unabashedly but knowing that you can't see me the tears would come then so simply. Knowing this and all the rest has left me here now so depressed. Reading books and poetry that feels as hurt and stressed as me. A little edger Allen Poe, some Denial Webster, and Dante's hell. Inferno's fire and my desire could not have scared the most. The heated embers like my heart in times when you are close. My voice so weak I can not speak but say now yes or no. when my soul is screaming there is no sound and you don’t know. And working days and working nights I hoped to loose the thought. But working nearly all the time I think of you a lot. 12 great sinners jury bound could tell me of my wrongs. To covet you, knowing well where your heart belongs. But I can't help the way I feel. I feel it ever more. Like a thumping bumping heart now beating in the floor. I sweat and pant at loss of breath and my own heart does stop, every time you walk on by I am at a loss. Could I pray to some high god to reach into your heart? What would be the price I'd pay for love for me to start? Knowing me I could not live if it where not for real. There is no relic stone or seal to change the way I feel . I took a walk dressed up in black down the cobblestone and through the burning gates of hell to see that there was snow. And fireflies where in my eyes and tickling my nose. And on my heart and in my mind your face had then arose. There to me now plain to see this dream I know was real. Your hand out reached and to my face your fingers I did feel. And on the stone I stood alone a victim of my heart. To know full well you where not there is tearing me apart. Here on earth my joy and mirth has calmed low to a tone. But in the secret silent night you call me on the phone. And in my hope and in my dreams you love to talk to me. About the joy and happiness that not many of us will see. About the life I know not of that you with grace do lead. About the times I looked at you and you smiled back at me. I think this knowledge not yet known is all on me tonight. So many things I have to say but never do feel right. I open up my mouth to speak and then I change my mind. I know the shyness all to well and to it show dislike. But it is me I try to change it is a loosing fight. If you where to read all this would you then see my heart, And if you did, does it change a thing, and to me would it be smart. In your eyes I'd still be lost in silent revelry. And me to you still out of site so how then could you see. © David Rutledge
Jul. 11th, 2005 @ 06:07 am Is it MissedAbout this Entryboomkentoc:Leave a commentPermanent LinkTell me now do I exist, or to your lips is this kiss missed. Is it so wrong to feel this bliss. To know a love as strong as this. My love, my dove I see you know. I feel this love but don’t know how. I fear its end mysterious. I’ve never known extremes as this. I feel your heart beat strong and loud. My love my head is in the clouds. How to react I do not know It’s all I can do to follow flow. Do you remember when we met? There on the beach our feet where wet. The sandy shores the salty gulf, and in the sunset we set off. A bond then made so innocent A love for years to not relent. Now a distant memory I touch upon and think of things. The tears they come I cannot stop. Nor can I resist the pain or thought Tell me love do I exist, or to your lips was this kiss missed © David Rutledge
Jul. 11th, 2005 @ 06:06 am Have A PeaceAbout this Entryboomkentoc:Leave a commentPermanent LinkEndless fights and sleepless night Plague my life with fears taken now for all I own And made to pay for all these years careless men push the pen That scares me with my crimes giving now and giving then To atone for every single sin stay now close to me the most And into the world pool you will spin dizzily not to be freed But locked to all that bounties me tied to past to thought's relaxed For on my soul they feed working day and working night For all my fruitless needs if only voices heard by me Could drive my through insanity this road I go I do not know And soon will end just that abruptly then I'm gone and their still here To laugh at how they cut me © David Rutledge
Jul. 11th, 2005 @ 06:01 am Conversations with the universeAbout this Entryboomkentoc:Leave a commentPermanent LinkCurrent Mood: creative Current Music: cohacu Enthusiasms imitating transcendental ideology and creating a deafening epidemic Slowing pretentious gaze and hydrating mist like windless ness So yes I concurred to you incoherently yet optimistically All things where right in my most delinquent mind And I was brilliant and promiscuous in my pursuit for acceptance Recreating all the enchants the millennium revolting my soul with hieroglyphs that when fertile would segregate the monotonous hypnotic theories of the modern aristocrat tell me your temperaments and give my soul peace or let your formula take toll and let your autograph taint me no more for I now have seen love and no longer need you to accept me © David Rutledge
Jun. 9th, 2005 @ 04:27 pm Sweet EmbraceAbout this Entryboomkentoc:Leave a commentPermanent LinkEmbers flowing by the fireHeated hearts in pure desirerestless love in endless timebuilding here a romance shrineblessed place of holy groundlyres of love make haste to soundlives to live foreever boundrapture met by all aroundtwo lone souls to share the fruitto play a tune no longer muteand sing to sleep the devils wordthat said you'd never have the nerve.© David Rutledge
Jun. 8th, 2005 @ 12:55 pm Little BirdAbout this Entryelizagirl:3 commentsLeave a commentPermanent LinkCurrent Mood: okayokay Where are you? Where can you be found?I look through the tree tops, I look under ground...Some one is waiting to take me away...How far will I go? How long will I stay?Perched on a branch, you sing to me now...I wish I could touch you but I don't know how...Under the water I can't breathe but some how thisdarkness brings me relief...I can't taste you, my mouthopen wide-yet I know the secrets that you can't hide...The rain smells of minerals, it falls to my feetas new sprouts devour a wet little treat...Cool wind ruffles your shades of blueyou are in rapture, and I feel it too...Dazzle me now thou cruelest of soulsand leave my heart empty, riddled with holes...Forlornly I follow your path in the sky...'Good bye' I whisper 'for today I shall die'.Eliza Jeannette FinzerCopyright ©2005 Eliza Jeannette Finzer