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Im 21, I guess you can say ive officially started my life.... and quite frankly , ive never been so terrorfied. I feel like i need to have everything figured out. All the time , but my own self is screaming inside me "Just live your life" why cant i ever just relax and take whatever comes to me. I ALWAYS have to try to make everything better or enhance it in some way.....The worst part is....... I carry this terrible trait into my relationships.....And the weirdest part.. IVe been in love two times, and once not knowing it... Im so in a rush to be in love with someone, it flyie right past me and i cant even grab on to it..... I dont know whats going on with me... Tomorrow, im going to just sit in Central PArk and do everything i can to not think....WHen did i stop loving myself entirely?.....Whats going on with me...Im writing in my highschool journal....

Something isnt right......here I am, but im lost......

-Antny

HI!.. So i havent written in this for years... hell my user picture is from my junior year in high school.....Just stopping by....its weird. im about…

I simply do not know what to do. For months livejournal has been a last resort for me. But i just dont know in this situation. I need a new car yes i…

So yea , this isnt going to last long i can already fore see it comming,,,,, i hate it...alot.