You can't sing.. get over it... (original) (raw)

Ashlee Simpson Asks, Where Are Those Pieces of Me
By Matthew Congdon
Aug 10, 2006, 05:55

the new ashlee

NEW YORK - What has punk princess Ashlee Simpson's new nose all bent out of shape? Turns out that her now smooth shnoz made for a rough night of unintentional incognito.

Ms. Simpson, in town last week to promote her new line of "Lip Sync'n with Ashlee!" karaoke machines, was out for a night of high profile hi-jinks that was abruptly cut short. The trouble started outside the Meatpacking megaclub Marquee, where both she and her bump-free bridge went utterly unrecognized.

Usually accustomed to open doors and comped magnums of Veuve Cliquot Rose, Ms. Simpson was reportedly roughly rebuffed at the door by bouncers who believed her to be just another bland Bergdumb Blonde.

"No one would believe who she was," one tipsy patron close to the action noted. "She was all like, 'lemme in, lemme in!' I heard she had to settle for Spicemarket . . . without table service . . . next to Brittney Murphy."

Another bystander staggered by and was overheard slurring, "I heard they mistook her for Tara Reid and she sucker punched 'em." Managers for Marquee did not return calls, but we hear we're on a list.

the old ashlee

Since the downtown debacle, Ashlee has reportedly been holed up at the boho-swank Rivington Hotel. According to staff there, she's been speed dialing every fly-by-night nip and tuckster in order to reverse her regretful rhinoplasty.

Afraid that Ashlee's headed straight to Cabo san Crazy, the Simpson clan has supposedly rallied an intervention. Rumor has it they even enlisted the help of former dirty dancer Jennifer Grey in hopes that, having weathered the loss of her own charming hooked look, she could lend some advice on how Ashlee can still have "the time of her life."

Of course, on the record, the entire Simpson camp still denies anything was done to make the rocker's profile perkier. But with the proof literally as plain as the nose on her face, Ms. Simpson's publicists now admit that some "necessary" work might have been done.

When asked why the story keeps changing, they replied, "We have always, always maintained that Ashlee has had nothing 'strictly cosmetic' done. Our story continues to be consistent, the only thing that's deviated here is her septum."

source: http://www.pugbus.net/artman/publish/08102006_piecesofash.shtml