Avatar Review (original) (raw)
Ahhh does it get any better than a nice Saturday afternoon, a lemonaide and a critique of Fullmanator's avatar? No it doesn't; does it? Ok so on we go... Here we see a person who calls himself "fullmanator". The avatar is probably meant to insite some fear into the hearts of those who see it. I can't tell if I more scared by the thug look fullmanator is giving the camera or the fact that this picture really looks nothing like him. I do know the story behind this picture though. Fullmanator had just sat down to eat his lunch (cause he was very hungry from freeing third world nations all morning) and he was excited for the turkey sandwich in front of him. When a poor naive soul decided to try and take this sandwich from him; Fullmanator whipped around and shot him this look. (He calls it the "Widow Maker") Right before the person saw the light he snapped this picture. In closing.. this picture is the moment in time right between the decision of fullmanator to take your life and the time that you see the "widow maker"
And the grades...
The Bizarre Factor is high due to the rareness of such a capture: 10 out of 10
The Beauty Factor is also high due to the "calm before the storm" impression implied: 7 out of 10
The Originality Factor is above the charts due to the "widow maker" being fullmanator specific: 1,000,000
The Standard Deduction here is due to loss of life: -30
Overall Total: 999987
I also would like to mention that the "widow maker" was just a myth until this picture surfaced. Let it be known that the photographer did not die in vain; he should be regarded as a hero. Well a hungry hero ;)
I know it's been done but I will be reviewing
fusion260 today. Ahhhh and so the taunter becomes the taunted. If you look here, this person has used a young boy's perversion as his representation. I don't know about you but I could not rest knowing that this is what people see when they are looking for me. No doubt there is some hidden sexual agenda at work here. I'm not quite sure if the message this is giving the viewer is intended or not. Having known Chris for some time I have seen him make this very face. I believe he uses this as his primary defense system. If ever in a confrontation with Chris you will most likely see him make this face. Now for the grades...
The Bizarre factor is pretty damn high here. I would say 11 out of 10
Beauty Factor is misplaced here unless you find little boys beautiful. As I do not, I will give him a 0.
The Originality Factor is also low because having your favorite cartoon as an icon is a pretty standard LJ practice. I will also deduct points merely because "Family Guy" is the preferred cartoon. -5
I left out the Standard Deduction because I honestly have no clue how it applys.
Overall Total is an 6 out of 30.
To close I will leave you with one thought... When a two year old cartoon bent on world domination and fixated on male genatalia makes this face, it is humurous. When a grown man makes this face at work because it is too sunny outside? There's a damn problem. :) All in fun...
| Poster: | fusion260 |
|---|---|
| Date: | 2004-01-04 08:02 |
| Subject: | |
| Security: | Public |
Here we have
evangelion08, whom I should probably mention is my sister. Her skin tone in this picture is quite pink, much more than what is deemed normal. This leads me to believe she has horrible flesh-eating disease, and is covering up the evidence by her left hand. Oh and those JPEG artifacts, nope, they aren't artifacts at all, they are indeed her skin boiling off during the time this picture was taken. This gives her a Bizarre Factor of 39.2. I must also mention her skin is back to normal now, and her hair is much longer. That raises her Beauty Factor to 45.4946. But come on, the coy smile from the side of the face (literally), and the "I'm too shy to look at the camera so you're going to have to cope with the fact that you can't see my whole face, nyah!" deal is quite cliche'd. Thank you very much, Originality Factor -35.203. Since she is my sister, and I will never hear the end of this, I cannot give her a big standard deduction, so her Standard Deduction is 5.0129, which indeed protects me from physical and verbal abuse. In the end, I am quite done with this picture and this review. Final Score: 44.4787.
An impartial review of
backwardhatclub's user icon.
Hot shit coming through! First off we've got the Coral Spring Kruel Classic basketball T-shirt (number 6), this shirt was actually worn by me when I played and not bought at a thrift shop, so 6 points for shirts with providence. Look ma, I'm emo I don't even look at the camera. On the other hand, at least I didn't cross my arms while being photographed, so I'm gonna take away 4 points for cliche emo pose. I gotta ask, why is this dude hiding his face? What is on there that he doesn't want us to see? Usually when someone hides their face you know what that means; leprosy! I personally can't think of another reason someone wouldn't look directly into the camera when they were being imaged, other than leprosy. That'll be 4 points off for horrific skin boils and high pain thresholds. The saving grace of this photo is tiny arms! look at the size of the arms compared to the body... TINY. Excellent T-rex imitation is worth at least 7 points. So the total for this picture comes out to a big 5.
As far as Bizarre Factor or Beauty Factor or whatever, fuck it. There doesn't need to be a format. Also despite the community rules I plan to engage in copius personal attacks AND slander. Maybe even LIBEL since this is all in writing. Yeah, I said, girls rub on your titties.
| Poster: | quieteidolon |
|---|---|
| Date: | 2003-12-29 01:58 |
| Subject: | |
| Security: | Public |
We come to the preferred image of Patrick Christie,
spoonfedanarchy, who hails from the great state of Illinois. In ths shot, we cannot infer as to whether Patrick has been paralyzed from the neck down and now has some food on his upper lip, or if he was accidentally infused with a chameleon chromosome in the embryo stage. Needless to say, Bizarre factor of 92.3. The reptilian tendencies of this photography necessarily imply a Beauty factor of -86 and a quarter. Keen beanie placement earns his serious points in the next category, as does the apparent misplacement of any sort of shaving tool. The tiny image in the backround could, in fact be a stuck pig in white long-johns, leading to an Originality factor of 24(pi). I'm frankly quite disturbed by the overall emphasis and odd taste the photo leaves in my mouth, granting a Standard deduction of 45.000000003. In summation: Final score of 36.4785714255714285
It's time to pick at the picker; and the pickier picker we'll pick. I present you with
fusion260's default avatar!
This image appears to be of a light blue man who's got a slight frown, just enough to look apathetic yet at the same time to suggest that his "face" is actually a rubber sheet, and that "beard" is actually a bunch of ants stretching it out over a table. (One can never tell for certain.) For that reason, I'm giving it a Bizarre Factor of 82. But since I'm really sick of seeing ants, especially here in my damn house, I'm giving it a Beauty Factor of -29. Changing the subject entirely, the odd combination of the words "Tired" and "Fullman" at the top confound me greatly; are we seeing a man who's name is "Tired Fullman"? Or is this the image of a man who is tired after eating a full meal? Or perhaps "fullman" is some type of third gender, and this encyclopedia entry contains the image with the caption "A TIRED FULLMAN" and the "A" was cut off. Hence, the Originality Factor of 58 ought to suffice. But honestly, I'm starting to get tired of looking at this guy; Standard Deduction of -77. In closing, if my review seemed difficult to follow, or at times completely inane, it's because staring at fusion260's avatar has driven me off the deep end. Final Score: 35. Cograts fusion260!
| Poster: | fusion260 |
|---|---|
| Date: | 2003-12-28 20:08 |
| Subject: | |
| Security: | Public |
Everyone, meet
virexmachina, current-native to Texas. virexmachina's user image of choice brings us a unidentifiable capture of him in any one of the following scenerios: no air conditioning at place of capture, just stepped out of the shower, hasn't showered for weeks (yet conveniently shaves 90% of his face), just worked out, just emerged from an outdoor pool, or some other related yet unrelated event. Either way, Bizarre Factor of 21. His "get out of my way, I'm 'hot'" pose gives him a Beauty Factor of 20. The color tone of his skin suggests he is indeed living, therefore he does indeed receive an Original Factor of 49.0312. Now, here's where it goes wrong. The obligatory cliche'd use and addition of mineral oil on the body receives the automatic "I'm a model, watch out, *rawr*" label??? Tsk tsk. Standard Deduction of 59.01243. In closing, I'm not sure what I feel about this image. It quite possibly is calendar material for teenage girls everywhere, but I'm sure that's not what virexmachina was intending, therefore, pity points of 0.194 to be added. Final Score: 31.21277
merovingian's default avatar depicts some type of mysterious hazard involved with computer use. Viewers of this image are cautioned to keep this in mind when operating their potentially lethal machines. Merovingian picks up a Bizarre Factor of 46 for his ironic anti-automation warning. However, the avatar is (as most warning signs are) not particularly attractive. No color is to be found; it's simply intended to be noted at a glance as one speeds down the information superhighway. I'm giving it a Beauty Factor of -8. Ouch! All is not lost as Merovingian picks up an Originality Factor of 28.1 with his unique sense of... um... whatever he has. If it were International Kindness Day I wouldn't have to take a Standard Deduction of 23 points. My final thoughts for this image are that we should all obey the warning, even if we don't know what it means; kind of like Ready.gov. Final Score is 43.1.
(On a side note, we have a thread called Avatar Personals at my forums. I'd forgotten about it until I noticed this great community.)
Starting off with
quieteidolon, my initial thoughts are the shifty eyes said user is giving the audience. We can't see what he's thinking, but we're sure it's not good. The eyes and overall stare give said user a Bizarre Factor of 9. But I can't find anything else wrong with the overall look of the image, and heck, face it, he probably took the picture himself and cropped out the infamous arm protruding from the sides or corner. "Mr. Hotness" gets a Beauty Factor of 39.0392. Originality, hmmm, well, the majority of the image's environment is black, which suggests Mr. Hotness is hiding in a closet. I guess we'll never know, Originality Rating of -13.2903. However, since shifty eyes have weight in this review, his Standard Deduction will strike itself out with a positive number, therefore, Standard Deduction Addition of 23.1. In summary, yeah, it's just good like that. Although, I do wonder what's going on in his head when this picture was taken, so I'm giving him a curiosity deduction of 12. Final Score is 45.8489.
To my left is
nyrngrs24, a New York-native who will soon be transplanting to South Florida to begin schooling at an art school... and may we all take a moment's silence for this poor soul. This counts towards the Bizarre Factor, but the clincher is the fact that said user is proudly or accidentally displaying the contents of his closet, we can't decide which one it is. This gives him a Bizarre Factor of 40. Looking at this avatar, said user has a cocky look in his eyes, like "oh yeah, I'm the greatest", only he doesn't say it with his face, he says it with the two pointers aimed towards all of us. The hat on the head suggests perhaps a scalp problem, but could also mean he just has the absolute greatest in hair care and doesn't want to make anyone feel sub-par with their head's supply of natural protein. He gets a Beauty Factor of 22. The pointing fingers towards us, the audience, gets props. Therefore, I cannot give him any less than an Originality Factor of 13.28523. Now, don't get your hopes up. His numbers are riding high, and I hate high riders, they annoy me. So I'm giving him the smackdown Standard Deduction of 41.23. In conclusion, his pointing and open closet provide a very entertaining avatar, one that is sure to make everyone smile, or say WTF. Either way, he gets 5 bonus pity points from me, bringing his Final Score to 39.05523.
That is all.
Here we have
backwardhatclub, wonderful moderator of the community, friend of my sister, and overall good guy. But what is up with the nuclear sunburn? Did he see the face of God, or was he with Britney Spears? On this alone, I give him a Bizarre Factor of 16. On the other hand, his dashing good looks and _Abercrombie & Fitch_-esque picture pose allows him to have a Beauty Factor of 22. Now, where have I seen this face before? Hmm, I can't remember, so his Originality Factor is 14. Now I can't all be nice, he gets a Standard Deduction of 20, which smacks him down to 32. In final thoughts, I like this picture. It's not overly-processed with effects or cosmetically-touched up by the wonders of Photoshop, plus 11.43 points. Final Score: 43.43
What is 
avatar_review?avatar_review is a new community in which LiveJournal users' images are judged on a point-rank basis. The categories are: Bizarre Factor, Beauty Factor, Originality Factor, Standard Deduction, Overall Total, Final Thoughts.
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