Black Parade Slash (original) (raw)
Black Parade Slash https://b-paradeslash.livejournal.com/Black Parade Slash - LiveJournal.com Tue, 21 Apr 2009 02:10:43 GMT LiveJournal / LiveJournal.com b_paradeslash 11061157 community https://l-userpic.livejournal.com/110070521/11061157 Black Parade Slash https://b-paradeslash.livejournal.com/100 100 https://b-paradeslash.livejournal.com/35243.html Tue, 21 Apr 2009 02:10:43 GMT Crossing the Line: Chapter 5 frerardislove https://b-paradeslash.livejournal.com/35243.htmlTitle: Crossing the Line: Chapter 5
Author: </a></b></a>![\[info\]](https://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
frerardislove</lj>
Pairing: Waycest (Gerard/Mikey)
Rating: Adult
POV: First person, Mikey
Summary: Mikey Way is in love with his older brother and hates himself for it. Thankfully these feelings will never be revealed, right?
Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. I do not know the members of My Chemical Romance. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.
Author notes: My very first waycest. :D I have worked very hard, so enjoy the fruits of my labor! And don't worry, it gets better.
Beta: Laura (friend, not LJ member)
Warnings: MATURE CONTENT. M/M, Incest, Non-conscentual sex, Minor, Underaged drinking, WIP
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4 Part 1
Chapter 4 Part 2
( Chapter 5 )
https://b-paradeslash.livejournal.com/35243.html?view=comments#comments --- fake cut public frerardislove 14918716 0 https://b-paradeslash.livejournal.com/33316.html Mon, 31 Mar 2008 13:44:45 GMT First Fic: In Love With a Feeling october_riot https://b-paradeslash.livejournal.com/33316.htmlTitle:In Love With a Feeling
Author: 
october_riot
Rating: PG for drug refs and swearing. It will get dirtier *wink*
Summary: Gerard is a junkie fuckup rich kid who is sent to rehab. Will feature a cast of all my your favourite musicians. Only a couple so far.
Genre: AU
Disclaimer: I really don’t know anything. I do own a lot, however nothing so interesting as a person. I wish I did though. Because then they could be my cat.
Author Notes: Okay, this is my first time ever writing aything like this. Though once I did write a crap short story for English in grade 10 or some rubbish. So I hope you all like it. ta
Beta: Well technically none... but if you like we can all think of it like an open beta. Like you have with games after the closed beta where everyone can contribute.
Warnings: Drugs and Swears and Un-beta'd-ness.
Teaser: I’ve never been so proud of myself. Well except that one time I got the cunt suspended by replacing his English lit. assignment with de Sade’s 120 Day of Sodom.
“OwFuckstimeisitfuckinsunfuckit!”
When that’s the first thing that comes out of your mouth in the morning, you know that you’re off to a bad day.
It’s not so much that I mind mornings, I do go to school (sometimes) but I’m pretty sure it’s the holidays or a weekend or something and the Earth Shattering headache and my complete lack of memory indicates that last night was a big one. This (normally) means I spend the rest of the day in bed with some fizzyfeelgood pills.
The drapes have been opened. My protection against the horrible morning sun has been cast aside. I’m vaguely aware there are people in the room and not passed out half naked girls and hung-over mates, but proper, sober, dressed up people that given their presence in my room are probably not that impressed.
I try and find equilibrium between sitting up and not moving because every time I do my headache gets worse. The result is something akin to a giraffe doing yoga.
“Fuck?”
“You already said.”
That was the Butler. He has it in for me. I have no idea why, I’m pretty certain it’s nothing I’ve done. I squint and look around: The fuckingcunt Butler, Mikey and Dad. Normally I’m satisfied not knowing what happened that night before for a good couple of hours, but right now I wish I had the slightest idea so I can prepare some kind of defence.
“You have an hour to pack your bags. Hurry up”
“Good morning to you too Dad. Did you sleep well? Fancy a nice family breakfast?”
Ignoring me Dad and the Butler leave the room.
I fall back down on the bed. Fuck. I’ve had big nights, I’ve fucked up but nothing has ever warranted being kicked out of home.
“You haven’t been kicked out.”
I jump back up. Mikey, I had forgotten here was here.
He waves timidly “It’s just me”
Relieved, I crash back into the safety of my bed, shielding my eyes with the duvet.
“I think Keith Moon is in my head.”
A blank stare. Lovely kid, but he really knows nothing.
“Drummer from The Who.”
“The who?”
“Yeah.”
“...What is he doing in your head?”
“Drum Solo.”
“You should probably see a doctor.”
“I already do... Fucks going on Mikey?”
“You’re not being kicked out. Just sent somewhere.”
I risk the sun to peer confused at Mikey.
“Harley Hill I think”
“Never heard of it.”
“That was what dad was saying on the phone.”
“Harley Hill... it sounds like a rehab” I joke.
Mikey stares at me. I stare back eyes widening. Oh fuck.
“Oh fuck” I say “You don’t think...?”
“What do you remember from last night?”
“Well...”
I have no idea what happened last night. I had started the sentence hoping that in the time it took me to open my mouth and say ‘well’ I would have some great epiphany where the events of last night came running back. No such luck.
“I think I may have been slightly inebriated.”
Mikey gives me a disappointed look. I’m supposed to be his big brother and I’m supposed to be looking out for him, teasing him, fighting with him, joking with him, teaching him the important stuff, but instead I’m off on some other planet and these moments are all we have. He never says anything but it doesn’t take a genius to work out he resents that.
“Do you even remember what last night was?”
I have no clue. I remember nothing. It has to have been bad, Mikey looks conflicted; he doesn’t even want to tell me.
“You fucked-up big time” he finally says walking out the room. As he reaches the door he turns back like some sort of cliché “You really better pack.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I wait until the door closes fully. Even then I wait a couple of seconds longer, just out of respect for Mikey. If I really am going to some kind of rehab I am going fucked up on something. The least possible time I get to spend sober the better.
I glance around the room. Fuck, the servants must have cleaned. I hate it when they do that. Books, notepads and records are all stacked in neat little piles. The guitars that usually lie around the room have been repaired, restrung and probably tuned. I haven’t been in my room for days and it’s not so much a surprise as a minor annoyance.
As I get up I knock everything over. Loose sheets of paper fly from the books that had only recently reclaimed them. Thankfully the drawers are still a mess. The cleaning staffs are too nervous to really go through my stuff.
The plush pill boxes that normally litter my floor have been haphazardly shoved into drawers along with various other items that just didn’t fit into normal society: handcuffs, cigarettes, dildos, candles, body paint, pornography, bottles of alcohol, etc.
I check inside boxes that until recently were filled with all kinds of delightful pills and powders. Now to my horror they are all empty. In my drug addled state I can think of three reasons for this. One, the servants threw everything out. Two, after last night my father ordered the servants to throw everything out. Or Three, Last night I used everything.
One I disregarded almost immediately – there was no precedent. Of course there was no precedent for number two either. It’s not that my father approves of my drug habits, it’s just he really doesn’t care about me. The thing that makes this more likely than one is that he has never sent me to rehab before either.
The likelihood of number two is tied with three. I have a lot of drugs and a lot of booze. That all of it is gone is a miracle that anyone is still alive.
Either way I figure that there must be something left. I can’t have used it all and no one could have found it all.
I start checking all my draws and under things. It’s an amazing effort for someone who is so spectacularly hung-over. I’ve never been so proud of myself. Well except that one time I got the cunt suspended by replacing his English lit. assignment with de Sade’s 120 Day of Sodom.
Eventually, I’m on my belly next to my bed, sweaty, tobacco and crack stained fingers close around something. A small, plastic, zip lock bag. Inside is a singular, generic, no-descript pill.
I shove it hastily into my pocket, intending to take it as I leave and notice that I have 10 whole minutes to get myself sorted.
Throwing whatever I can find into the bag I zip it up just in time for the butler to take it down to the limousine.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I sit in the back of the limousine taking in the site of the massive mansion that is my house. When I was younger I used to call it my home. As I got older and learnt what a home meant to people I realised the Way Estate was not my home.
The nine storied, three winged mansion was as much a home to me as the run down hotel I ran off to for a week last month.
As we leave the house I catch sight of a section of the house that has been torn down. For a moment I wonder why no one mentioned they were renovating until I notice in the centre of the crash site is a car. A jaguar. My Jaguar in fact – right through the wall. As the view disappears behind me that I’m somewhat glad that I’m leaving home for a while.
I pop the pill into my mouth a gazing at my driver’s ugly profile I briefly hope it was nothing I scored off Ray Toro because hallucinogens would be really bad right now
...or worse, it could be just paracetamol.
TO BE CONTINUED
<o:p>
A/N: If anyone likes it I will write more. It will get much more interesting. Think of this like a pilot episode. Next episode will have characters with personalities so it should be something to look forward to. It will get longer too. It's just that after this is the starting of something new. And it doesn't fit together as the same chapter.
<o:p>
</div> https://b-paradeslash.livejournal.com/33316.html?view=comments#comments -- rating: pg gerard way What Goes On - Velvet Underground What Goes On - Velvet Underground predatory public october_riot 12298322 1 https://b-paradeslash.livejournal.com/33163.html Sat, 05 Jan 2008 00:21:52 GMT The Blade x_the_ripper_x https://b-paradeslash.livejournal.com/33163.htmlTITLE; The BladeAUTHOR; Me. :]
RATING; NC-17
POV; Frank’s.
SUMMARY; Frank walks in on Gerard torturing Mikey.
“The blade, oh, it digs in, in so deep, la la la, watch the skin, look at it, it bleeds, it bleeds, I love how you bleed. Look at the blood, so pretty, so dark, so delicious..” He sang as I opened the door. Screams filled the air. Mine; Mikey’s. Gerard screamed, but he was grinning as he did it. “Well, welcome Frank.” He said, waving a knife wildly. “Come to join the party have you? Sorry, Mikey is a little tied up at the minute,” he said, laughing maniacally as he looked down to see his brother squirm beneath him in writhing agony. <o:p>
----- <o:p>
I never knew. I could have done something to stop it, but I didn’t. Because I didn’t know! “I didn’t know!” That was my excuse for everything, but walking in on Gerard and Mikey was one of the most terrifying things of my life. No one believed me. They don’t think Gerard could have killed his own brother, because they were so close. But, I know what I saw. I saw him kill Mikey, and then eat him! He ate his brother! Sick bastard!<o:p>
-----<o:p>
“Hey Mikes, how ya doin’?” he asked, once he had him pinned perfectly. “Mikey!” I called, diving forward. “I think not Frankie,” he said, twisting and plunging the knife into my arm. “Auugghhh!” I screamed, as he rotated it, before pulling it back out. “That’ll keep you busy,” he said, smiling that same smile I used to love. “Now now Mikey, don’t cry,” he said, wiping one of the tears on Mikey’s cheek away. “Crying won’t help you now little brother,” he said. “You twisted bastard!” I screeched, swinging my good arm at him. He grabbed it with a quickness I hadn’t seen before. “Frankie, what have I taught you about interfering with my brotherly time with Mikey?” he said, standing up. Mikey rolled over and began to slink away, but Gerard caught him. “Now Mikey, you wouldn’t want to leave. We’re right in the middle of something,” he said, using the blade of the knife, pressing it against Mikey’s quivering throat. He stopped moving almost instantly, the tears still streaming. <o:p>
----- <o:p>
That knife is still here, Gerard uses it to cut his steak before he eats it. It makes me sick, so sick that sometimes I just have to get up and go vomit. He always watches me intently as he eats, and sometimes I think he’s imagining eating Mikey again, or even eating me. I can’t sleep at night, and on the odd occasion I do fall asleep, it’s for a brief time, filled with nightmares, replaying that torturous day, sometimes, it’s me in place of Gerard. And it’s those nightmares that terrify me the most.<o:p>
-----
<o:p>Mikey was still laying on his bed, shaking and sobbing. Gerard grinned and took the knife, using it to cut away Mikey’s clothing. “Gerard! What are you doing?!” I demanded, jumping at him again. “Frankie,” he hissed, turning and glaring at me, with this intense burning in his eyes. “If you’re good, you’ll get off easy. So I suggest you get your ass back into that corner if you want to even think about getting out of here alive.” And so I returned to my corner, afraid and shaking. Much like Mikey, who was now pretty much naked, shaking in the cold air, shaking from terror. Gerard then began to undress himself, all the while keeping the blade firmly in his teeth. He then began to rape his brother. Mikey’s piercing shrieks filled the air as Gerard rode him into oblivion. He and Gerard screamed when Gerard came, and collapsed on top of Mikey, the whole while his younger sibling was trembling beneath him. “Oh come now Mikey,” Gerard said laughing, as he removed the blade from his teeth and tossing it away. “I know you enjoyed it.” Then he laughed once more, as his eyes rested upon me.<o:p>
-----<o:p>
I have nightmares about that. But, I’m in place of Gerard. And Mikey’s yelps fill the air, and he screams, but it’s not a scream of pain, no, it’s pleasure that fills us. It’s that sensation of being so close to someone, and that cloud of orgasm that covers you as you come. Every time I have that dream, the ending is still the same. My body gives way and I fall next to Mikey. Then, he whispers in my ear, “I love you,” and I wake up in a cold sweat.<o:p>
-----<o:p>
<o:p>“Now Frankie, oh, Frankie, what to do. What to do..” he pondered, still naked. Mikey was curled up on the corner of the bed, horrified by the events that just took place. “I could have sex with you,” he offered, standing up. He sauntered over to me, and even in this obscure scenario, I still thought he looked beautiful. “Or, I could cut you up and feast on your warm insides.” He laughed. I looked down, not willing to look at his smug face. “What Frankie? Cat got your tongue?” he asked, crashing his lips into my own. His tongue forced its way in, like a snake it glided in and met mine. I felt my knees go weak, and Gerard spun us around as my legs gave out from under me. We fell, and my eyes were wide with terror. Mikey jumped from the bed, though Gerard pulled himself away from me just long enough to look at Mikey, and say, “Don’t you move Mikes, I’m not done with you just yet,” before thrashing into me again. “Gerard, please, don’t,” I pleaded. “Frankie, you know as well as I do, you want this,” his voice whispered into my ear. My eyes rolled back as he began to nip and suck on my neck. <o:p>
-----
<o:p>Every time I object, Gerard always brings that up. The fact that I enjoyed him forcefully having sex with me. Every time he pins me down, and I scream “No!” he always says, “Oh, but you enjoyed it before.” As if I don’t remember it myself. He has to do it. Ray and Bob, they don’t believe me. I tell them, but they just shake their heads and say, “Frank, come on. As if,” and return to their anointed tasks. No one believes me. Maybe God willed this on me. <o:p>
----<o:p>
<o:p>As he tore my flesh, inserting himself into me, the fire that burned, oh, it was like my whole body was about to burn. It hurt so much. “Don’t scream Frankie, it’s not that bad,” he said. “Mikey didn’t scream, did you Mikes?” he said, looking over at his cowering brother. He laughed, before roughly smothering my face into a pillow before thrusting into me. He twisted his hips, trying to find my place. He found my prostate and began to thrust and hit it every time. I wished I would die. The feelings of lust and pleasure over took and I moaned, my voice unfamiliar to me. “Harder, please, oh god, harder Gerard,” I said. He laughed and smiled. “If I must,” he said, before drove forward with a force that shook the whole bed.<o:p>
-----
Now a days, Gerard and I still have sex, but it’s different. He doesn’t talk to me, he just shoves me around. Sometimes he uses my leather belt and bounds my hands together, or whips my back, just to hear me scream. He never says anything after, he just moans and grunts. And after each account, he lays next to me. And, because I can’t control myself, my arms slink around his waist and I pull him close. Just to feel him there. And every time, he stares at me, and I whisper, “I love you, Gee.”
</div> https://b-paradeslash.livejournal.com/33163.html?view=comments#comments mikey way gerard way/mikey way -- rating: nc-17 gerard way frank iero mikey way/frank iero public x_the_ripper_x 14280264 6 https://b-paradeslash.livejournal.com/32930.html Fri, 04 Jan 2008 23:55:45 GMT dazzledoom https://b-paradeslash.livejournal.com/32930.htmlTitle: HurtAuthor:
dazzledoom Word Count: 915
Rating: R
Warnings: Language; violence; themes of death;
A/N: This story reads better if you play 'Hurt - Christina Aguilera' at the same time.
Disclaimer: believe me, if I owned my chemical romance i'd be rather too indisposed to write about them ;)
hurt. https://b-paradeslash.livejournal.com/32930.html?view=comments#comments --- fake cut public dazzledoom 14497013 0 https://b-paradeslash.livejournal.com/32397.html Thu, 03 Jan 2008 20:36:59 GMT Do It Or Die [1/?] x_the_ripper_x https://b-paradeslash.livejournal.com/32397.html TITLE: Do It Or Die [Part 1/?]
AUTHOR: Me! X_the_ripper_X
CATEGORY: Slash
PAIRINGS: Bob/Mikey
RATING: PG-13[ish] Will Rise..
DISCLAIMER: Don't own, don't steal, and don’t sue. I just love MCR, I don't own them. All of these events are fiction, that's why it's called fan fiction.
FEEDBACK: This is my first submitted fanfic, so please be kind!
EMAIL: mychemicalromance636@hotmail.com
NOTES: UNBETA-ED! *gasp* Don't kill me.. Also, Sera is Mikey's ex-girlfriend. She's just a little mention, that's all. Nuffin major.. I don't think.
There he was, sitting on his bed, head held in his hands. I stood in the doorway, letting the midnight moon cast it's ghostly shadows across the carpet floor. My feet were guiding myself towards his sobbing form, as I sat beside him. His head lifted to look at me through his hazel eyes, those eyes, oh how I longed for years about them. My arms found their way around his small frame, and he leaned his head against my chest. "Bob," he said in between harsh gasps of breath. "Shh.. Shh.. It's okay," I said. I felt fatherly to him in a sense, and we both knew Gerard wouldn't be comforting his brother anytime soon. But somewhere deep down I wanted to be more than that to Mikey, much, much more. 'No! Banish the sick thoughts!' I mentally told myself. But here I was, holding him close, and my fingers found themselves upon Mikey's face, gently brushing away his tears and moving his hair out of the way. I looked down at him, and at that moment, he looked up at me. It was awkward; I didn't know what to say.
"Mikey, it's okay. Really," I said, trying to calm him down. His body shook, he was icy cold against me. I pulled him tighter towards me. His shirt was pressed against his skin, wet from the sweat and tears. "Bob," he said again, and I looked from his shirt to his face, eyes staring directly into mine. "Yes?" I asked softly, letting my voice trail at the end a bit. Mikey blinked for a moment before momentarily smiling, and his head sunk into my chest once more. "Thanks," he breathed.
Minutes passed. Slowly his sobs subsided into silence. His head lifted and he sat upright. Turning his body to face me, Mikey sighed. "Bob," he said once more. 'That's the third time, what's he trying to say?' I mentally pondered. "Yeah Mikey?" I asked nervously. "What is it?" His eyes met mine and I felt a shiver go down my spine. "I, I..." he stammered, sharp breaths breaking the silences. "I loved her.." he sobbed, his head crashing into my chest once more, arms wrapping themselves around me. "It's okay!" I said, somewhat louder than I had originally meant to. "No it's not!" he moaned, his head shaking. "It's not okay! She.. she.. she cheated!" he sobbed, and my shirt began to absorb his tears. "Oh Mikey," I said, stroking his head. His hair felt soft to the touch, and his bangs were damp. "It’ll be okay!" I said, a little louder than I meant to. Mikey flinched in my arms, and by instinct my hand grabbed his head softly. I lifted his face so he was looking straight at me. "I promise!" and I let go of his tender jaw, instead I hugged him tightly.
Mikey eyes locked onto mine. "How can you promise?” he asked. "You don't understand, I.. I loved Sera! And then she says it's over! And, and.." he stuttered. His voice became a harsh whisper, I had to strain to hear it. "I wanted to marry her one day!" My heart began to flutter. 'You never had a chance with him,' I told myself. It was all your imagination, he's just a friend! That's all!' "She wasn't good enough for you Mikey," I said, hoping it was the right thing to say. "If she left you, she didn't realize what a good thing she had, and she's not worth it. Remember that Mikey!" I said, my voice firm but quiet. My hand stroked his hair tenderly once more as he stood up. "Really? You think?" he asked, sincerity making his voice crackle. My head nodded firmly. "Positive." I said, standing up. His arms wrapped around my waist. "Thanks again Bob," he said, and turned to leave.
Watching Mikey leave, my heart was doing gymnastics in my chest. I put my hand over it to try to stop it, but nothing helped. I sat down firmly on Mikey's bed yet again. "Stupid!" I cursed under my breath. "He's not sick like you! God!" I muttered. "You don't deserve him anymore than Sera did!" I added for effect. My soul was now officially crushed and crumpled. I decided to sleep, and retreated to my bed, formally known as the couch.
I didn't technically live with Mikey and Frank, but I did call their small blue and green checked loveseat my home. "Irony," I said, flopping down on the bed. Frank was over at Gerard and Ray's, as they say, visiting. But he had been over there for a few days now, and knowing Frank and Gerard, there was some severe sex going on. I felt sorry for Ray, but right now my main concern was Mikey. Where was he? "Oh god!" I yelled, jolting up. I ran into the kitchen. No. His bedroom. No. There! The bathroom door was firmly shut, and as I pressed my ear against it, I heard small sobs. "Mikey?" I called. "Mikey!?" I yelped, desperation in my voice. He mumbled something I couldn't hear through the door. Pushing it open, I caught Mikey standing there, his glasses on the counter, and, a blade in his right hand. My arm immediately grabbed his and I wrenched it from his grip. He feebly attempted to get it back, but failed. "Bob," he moaned, his head hanging. "Please. I, I don't want to. I don't want to live.." he sighed. I felt my heart skip a beat. "No Mikey, you can't. I won't let you do this to yourself."
His head lifted from its view of a ceramic floor tile to my face. "Please," he cried softly, pain striking at me with his voice. "Bob, please," he cried once more, tears falling now from his face. I hated to see him cry. I felt my eyes begin to water as well. "Mikey, you can't do this. I couldn't.. I couldn't live without you. I, I love you." I stammered. 'Did I really just say that?' I worried. 'Oh no! Now what is he going to think of me?' As my mind raced, I looked at Mikey, but he was simply staring at me blankly. "Mikey, I, I mean," I started to stutter. Mikey giggled. I began to try to explain, but his index finger pressed against my lips. "Hmm?" I asked, completely confused. Slowly, his lips replaced his finger. 'Oh god!' I thought. I kissed him back, and slowly felt cool, soft hands begin to travel up my shirt and along my back. I moaned. This was better than I ever could have imagined.
I lifted Mikey up and sat him on the counter, so we were a little more level with each other. As our tongues began to explore each other's palates, Mikey stopped and pulled away. I exited my trance and shook. "Oh God, Bob, I, I never, Ohh.." he said, his face beginning to go red. I shushed him with my hand. "It's okay, really. I understand you’re not like me. We'll just be frie-" but Mikey cut me off. "No! It's not that at all Bob! I, I, kind of, love, you?" he said, the ending sounding more like a question than a statement.
I blinked. "Love me?" I responded in the same tone. "Mikey," I began, looking down at the tiles. "Very few people have told me they love, and, well, all of those people, no longer do. I don't want that to happen with, with us.." I said, my voice trailing a bit as I realized what I was saying. I was telling Mikey I didn't want to be with him, when all this time I did. Suddenly, his lips crashed into mine, sending a wave of self-doubt and pleasure and regret all washing over me. My knees almost gave way, and I reached out and pulled Mikey closer. His lips parted, tongue forcing it's way in. 'Wow! Who knew shy boy's tongue was like this?!' I thought, but my mind soon became concentrated on one thing. I could feel Mikey's arms doing something, and slowly, my torso began to become colder.
Mikey whipped off my shirt, the chest still moist from his tears. "Bob," he began, his voice low. "I promise you, promise, that when I say 'I love you,' I mean it, forever," he said, arms pulling my now exposed torso towards him. But I pushed myself away, my eyes resting on the black fabric of my shirt, now strewn over the bathtub's rim. "That's not what I mean!" I cried, tears now falling. I grasped my shirt in my hand, my eyes still down. "I'm always the one that messes things up! I don't want that! Not with you!" I sobbed, the tears falling into the clothing in my hands. I pulled the shirt over my head, looking down all the while. "Your perfect." I breathed. "I'm, I'm not good enough for you, Mikey Way," I said, and I turned and walked out, my heart torn into a million pieces.
Later that night, and into much of the early morning, I cried into my pillow as the events of the evening replaying in my head continuously. Why was I such a monster? Was I not meant for love? As I lay on the couch, blankets burying me in my shame, I heard faint footsteps come to my side. I knew who it was, and didn't bother to lift my head. I didn't want Mikey to see me like this, in my vulnerable state. I felt his presence, like a ghostly spirit looming over me as I sobbed. Slowly, I realized he was sitting on the couch next to me, his hand rubbing my back, comforting me like you would a small child. I stopped, my breathing still irregular, eyes sore and bloodshot. My mouth moved, my mind looking for words to say, but nothing was forming. His other hand reached for mine, the first still rubbing softly. I smiled. “Mikey,” I said, my voice crackling. I coughed, clearing my throat. “I, I know we’ve been friends, for, well, forever. And I’d never impose anything on you, I swear! It’s just, I’m, I’m,” I said, stuttering. Why? Why did this beautiful boy take all the words from me and leave me still gasping for air. “I’m a fucked up stupid faggot. I deserve to die!” I breathed, my voice a harsh whisper as my head found his lean shoulder.
Mikey gasped. “No, no, Bob, that’s..” he began to counter with words that made no sense. Finally he sighed, his head resting upon my chest as our bodies shifted to accommodate the both of us on a couch that I normally fall off of on a nightly basis. Soon Mikey was in a deep slumber, though I couldn’t get my mind to stop, well, thinking! My arms wrapped around his small frame, his chest lifting and falling with each breath. I tried to time my breathing with his, our bodies moving to an unheard rhythm. As the night progressed, I found myself becoming more and more emotional as the memories washed over me. Not only from the day, but from other times. Like when we were at the beach, and I wasn’t comfortable being there, but Mikey just said, ‘Ignore the other people Bob! It’s a day for you and me to have fun, remember?’ And I did. I blocked out the views I was getting from people, and just lost myself in that boy’s aura.
“Bob?” I heard, a hoarse and raspy voice calling to me. I shook, now awake and alert as my arms released Mikey. They might have done so too quickly, as within moments he was lying sprawled out on the carpet. “Oh my god! Mikey? Are you okay?” I asked, fear and shock in my voice. He laughed as he rolled over, his arms reaching for me and pulling me off the couch. I landed with a thud beside him, his giggling mouth mere inches from my ear. I turned to face him, his arms reaching around me, as mine found their way towards his hips. Pulled in close, we stayed silent and lay like that for what seemed like forever. Slowly, one face found it’s way closer to another, and we were slowly moving our lips and tongues around. I felt my teeth snag Mikey’s bottom lip, and he moaned as I gently tugged on it. Oh, how that boy’s voice could stop a thousand hearts.
Suddenly, the door crashed open, and standing in the doorway was the tall silouette of Ray. Mikey and I jolted up, our limbs untangling. Ray’s eyes burned into mine with an angry fire I hadn’t seen before. I stood up and brushed myself off. “Ray! What are you doing here?” I asked, my voice shrilly. “Well I was looking for a place to stay for a while, seeing as Frankie and Gerard haven’t let up on their love-making, but I see it’s no different here!” he yelled, his voice booming. I was suddenly, for the first time, afraid of Ray Toro.
I had known Ray’s feelings about Mikey for a long time, and he knew minimally of my own. But here I was, standing before him, with Mikey just hiding behind me, and I could tell what was going through Ray’s mind. How many times had I been in that position? Now I was viewing it from a whole new angle. Sure, Ray had said he thought Mikey was ‘fuck-able,’ but how was I supposed to know that meant he was in love with him? As I was slowly becoming trapped and entangled in my own web of thoughts, I wasn’t able to see Ray’s tall muscular form stepping towards us.
“Bob…? Mikey…?” he asked, his voice with a sinister twist to it that I hadn’t heard in a long time. “Ray,” I began. “No! No Bob, Shut up! I don’t want to hear what you have to say! You know! You know what I feel! And still, here you are with Mikey, making out like you don’t even care!” he screamed at me, tears streaming down his face. “Ray! I really, I mean, I can’t say I’m sorry ‘cause I’m not! But I can say that I know what your feeling! And I know how much pain your in, but-” I was abruptly cut off. “No! You know what Bob? Just shut up!” he screeched at me, now charging towards us. I don’t remember what he said next, just hearing Mikey’s scream and feeling a lot of pain, my closed eyes seeing red in the eyelids. Then, then, there was nothing.
“Bob? Bob? Oh god!” Mikey cried, his voice piercing the blackness of my slumber. “Wha?” I stirred, feeling quite light-headed. “BOB!” I heard him shrill, arms gripping tightly around me. Blinking, I fixed my eyes of their blurriness. Once the picture cleared, I took a long look around. I was still lying on the living room carpet, though Ray had disappeared. I was about to ask where he had gone to, but before my mouth opened, my eyes rested upon a large deep crimson stain, still pooled and liquid. Mikey must have seen my eyes widen, for his voice, so gentle and soft, told me what happened.
“Ray, he, he was really angry and I saw him come towards you, but I never, ever thought he’d hit you! Not Ray! He was so angry, and I was so scared, I should have done something.. stopped him. But I didn’t, I just cowered while he beat you. Oh Bob,” Mikey moaned, his head crashing into my torso. I grunted because the pain I felt was really quite surprising. I didn't think I was that bad. But I could tell something was wrong with me. “Where? Where did he hit me? Where did he go?” I asked, breathing deeply. “Oh, he, he ran off. I don’t know where.” his voice trailed a bit. Gently, his long soft fingertips rested upon my left forearm, a deep scratch indented. Another finger went to my chest, and all of a sudden, I had severe difficulty breathing. “Oh, oh, wow. Did he, he did that?!” I asked, my mind unable to comprehend. A jagged piece of glass, looking very similar to the beer bottle that was on the kitchen table from yesterday, was sticking out my sternum. “Bob? This needs to get looked at. You need to go to a hospital.” Mikey said, his voice still soft and whispering. I nodded. “I know, I know..” I said, and began to rise.
"Mr. Bryar, with a few days rest and no more bottles to the chest, I’m sure you’ll be just fine.” The doctor told me, shaking my un-bandaged arm. I nodded, and smiled to Mikey, who was sitting in a chair nearby. He grinned back, and I watched a small rosy colour rise up his neck to his cheeks. I was better, though tight hospital cloth bandages were wrapped around my forearm and a large patch covered the wound in my chest. I blinked, the anaesthesia was wearing thin, but the difficulty to breathe had subsided. I guess it was not having a broken piece of a beer bottle in my body. As I shakily stood, my arms jittering to balance myself, I nodded. “No more chest bottling. Got it.” I was eager to get back home, and to figure out exactly why Ray hit me.
Mikey following close behind, I marched into the living room of ‘our’ house. There, sure enough, were Frank and Gerard, obviously come back to Frank’s for a little more sex. I sighed and ignored them as they made out, probably oblivious to Mikey and I entering. “Bob? Are you okay? You seem a little steamed.” Mikey said, as I sat in the basement on the dryer. Mikey then followed suit, hopping his slender body on top of the washing machine next to me. I heard it creak slightly as he shifted his weight. “Of course I’m steamed Mikes, Ray hit me.” I said flatly. “I know, I know. But Bob, you do you know why Ray attacked you?” he asked, his glasses slipping down his nose. I gently pushed them back up to the bridge, nodding as I did so. Mikey’s eyes looked straight into mine, their hazel hues seemed to be boring into my very soul.
“He what?!” Mikey asked, voice cracking. “He’s in love with you,” Even just saying those words make something in my chest hurt, and it wasn’t the gash. Mikey sighed, his eyes dropping to the puddle on the floor where the washing machine had leaked. “Oh,” he said. I swallowed the lump in my throat. “Mikey?” I asked, feeling suddenly self-conscious of myself for no reason. His face stayed down, shadows from the one bare bulb cast across his cheekbones. My arms twitched, unaware of what they should do. “Mikey?” I asked again, calling his name louder. He made a noise. It was a sort of half-hearted grunt. “Look at me, please.” I pleaded. Suddenly, something clicked in my head, as the final puzzle piece was laid into place.
You love him back, don’t you?” I asked, feeling my heart flutter. Finally, Mikey’s head rose, then it dropped back down, his chin digging into his chest. I took this as a nod, and sighed. “Oh.” I said, feeling quite blank and light-headed. “But, but,” I heard him stammer. I took a deep inhale as he spoke his next words. “I, I love you too! And I, I can’t decide. Please don’t make me choose. Please Bob,” he cried, and I saw tears welling in his lower lids. “Mikey please don’t cry, I, I hate to see you cry. It, hurts so, much,” I told him, taking my arms and wrapping them around him chilled body. His head tilted back so his hollow eyes were looking into mine. We stayed in silence for a while, eyes staring at each other. I suddenly felt uncomfortable, my eyes glanced away, over to a pile of towels on the floor. Mikey tore himself away and I knew. I knew. He got down off the washer silently. He almost floated to the stairs, where, as his foot touched the first wooden stair, he looked at me. “I don’t want to choose Bob. Please,” he said, and I saw a vulnerable and hurt look in his eyes.
Here I was, being completely hypocritical. I was standing in the empty driveway of Ray’s house, my heart going a million miles an hour. But I wasn’t here for Ray, or Gerard. I was here, for what was in Gerard’s closet. An old shoebox, but it no longer held footwear. No, now it held much more dangerous items. Looking behind me, I double-checked to see that Ray’s car wasn’t pulling up. My shoes crunched under the gravel as I stepped onto the porch. Diving under the ‘Welcome’ mat, I found a silver key, and used it to allow myself in. How many times had I used that when Ray called me to come over at 3 AM to comfort him? Or when Frank needed a ride home from Gerard’s. Or when Mikey had to go visit his brother after he got out of the hospital for attempting suicide.
Running up the stairs I turned into Gerard’s room, the bedspread thrown askew and I tried my hardest not to imagine what had gone on in here earlier today. I quickly grabbed the cardboard shoebox and walked into the bathroom. Setting it on the counter, I peeled off the lid. “Yes. There you are,” I said, a smile spreading across my face. Lying in there was a .33 calibre pistol and two bullets. I only needed one.
I set off for Gerard’s room, heading to the desk where a piece of scrap paper and a pen were lying innocently. I scrawled my message across it, one I had thought of for a long time. It looked really messy, and I probably spelled a few things wrong. I folded it in half, and drew a crooked heart on it. Stuffing it in my pocket, I returned to the bathroom. “I’m singing in the rain, oh singing in the rain,” my voice sung. Repeating it several times, I loaded one of the two bullets into the gun, the other a put into my pocket, my fingers tingling as they gently touched the note. I walked to Gerard’s bedroom again, standing in the middle. A looked from my left to my right, letting the moment sink in. My phone was suddenly vibrating in my pocket. I ignored the call and smiled as I raised the gun.</div> https://b-paradeslash.livejournal.com/32397.html?view=comments#comments mikey way/bob bryar -- rating: pg-13 mikey way bob bryar curious public x_the_ripper_x 14280264 4 https://b-paradeslash.livejournal.com/31655.html Sun, 23 Dec 2007 02:08:19 GMT Not Just a Fragrance By Calvin Klein (6) valiaclaire https://b-paradeslash.livejournal.com/31655.html\-Title: Not Just A Fragrance By Calvin Klein
-Author:
valiaclaire (moi)-Band/Pairing: Quinn/MCR fella..its obvious, don't worry
-Chapter: 5/7?
-Rating: R
-Summary: I’m trying not to cross over the line, to let my love turn into obsession. Obsession isn’t pretty...and neither is stalking, but I am good at both and they say you should go with what you know, go with what you’re born to do....Oh so AU.
-Disclaimer: I own no one and know no one. This is all fiction.
-Author's Notes: Comments are fun, much like this chapter. And ch 7 will be up as soon as I finish it
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
x-posted ages ago in
sexagons_r_betr and mychemicalslashChapter 6 - Messy
Date: May 13, 2006; 2:13 AM
Location: Frank's bedroom
Mood: Exhausted
Subject: I am a complete idiot.
I kissed him. I fucking kissed him. I fucking kissed MIKEY! I don’t know what I’m going to do. I can’t sleep. We’re all at Frank’s house. It was a stupid party. It was supposed to be a sleep over , but Frank’s mom wasn’t home so Frank thought it would be a bright idea to throw a party and it just…. I don’t know where to begin.
When I got to school on Friday, it seemed like it would be a normal day. I met up with Frank at his locker to say hi. He thanked me a million times for helping out with the project and then went on about something on the way to first period. We all hung out together at lunch. Mikey was quiet and he wasn’t really making eye contact with anyone. It didn’t seem to bother Frank at all, he just went on as he usually did, so I did my usual thing of half listening and laughing when I’m supposed to and all that. I was mostly thinking about my new lab partner, Ray. He’s got the worst hair cut ever and these huge fish lips. I mean, I’m sure I shouldn’t have laughed out loud at him, but I couldn’t help myself. Besides, he’s a senior, so I’m sure he’s used to getting it by now and the school year is almost over for him so soon he’ll be leaving all the petty high school stuff behind. But the reason I was thinking about him was because he knows Gerard. Apparently Gerard hangs out on the scene a lot. He isn’t just into art, he’s also passionate about music and he writes a lot. I was impressed to hear that so I spent most of the class asking Ray questions about Gerard.
Aren’t you friends with his little brother? Why can’t you just ask him questions? Ray frowned while opening up his advanced chemistry book to the page we were supposed to be getting the questions from
Yeah, but he’s only ever going to tell me good stuff, you know? I like hearing about people’s flaws, I said, while playing with my pen innocently and then glancing at Ray.
Ray just shook his head at me and laughed a little, I have no idea what your deal is, kid, but even if Gerard had flaws I wouldn’t tell them to you.
Oh so he’s flawless? I challenged with the sweetest grin I had and an eyebrow raise.
I had no inclination that the guy was anything but straight, but I guess I was putting the ritz on extra hardcore cause he only laughed at me and soon enough he was going on about Gerard just the way Mikey would before. I could tell that he looked up to him too. I guess Gerard is a god or something. He’s smart and funny and intriguing and artistic and curious and imaginative and all these other things that the guys have alluded to. Ugh, it all just makes me want him more! I keep feeling like I’m running out of time. There’s no more getting close to him through Mikey. I won’t even try to get close to him through Ray. I just have to attack him straight on. There’s seven days left till his going away party and I need to work fast. I managed to learn from Ray all the places that Gerard haunts and now they’re going to be my haunts to. I have to figure out how to make it work, how to go about this without letting him know that I’m going to be manipulating him and stalking him, because that is what I’ll have to do essentially. I waited too long and now that’s the only thing that’s left for me to do. I was so busy trying to figure it all out at lunch time, that I didn’t even hear Frank invite me and Mikey over to spend the night. I just nodded to tell him I was listening, not realizing that it read to him as a nod to say I was coming. It wasn’t until the end of the school day when Frank said that I could run by my house to get my clothes and night things that I realized what happened. So I ran home, told my mom that I was spending the night at Frank’s, sat through her flipping out at me before she said I could go, grabbed my stuff, and then headed over to Frank’s. When I got there, Frank and Mikey were hanging out on the couch watching tv. Frank’s mom answered the door in curlers and explained that she’d be going out on a date that night and was counting on us (here she looked squarely at Frank, who was trying his best to pull off sweet and innocent but failing miserably) to be good little boys because she had a feeling that her date would be buying breakfast. We all had to try not to gag here. I mean, Frank’s mom isn’t unattractive, but still, the thought of someone’s mom getting it on with anyone is just not cool. So after she left, we were pretty much left to our own devices. For a while we just hung out and Frank and I skated up and down the street while Mikey watched silently, still playing mute. It wasn’t until I fell and busted my ass right in front of him that he said anything.
Nice fall, spaz, said Mikey in spite of himself while Frank rolled up to me on his skateboard laughing.
Maybe you should give it a try. We’d really see who the spaz was then, I challenged, standing up with my board.
I don’t do skating, said Mikey quietly, blushing a little.
I shrugged, losing interest and then was going to get back on my board when a sort of spark went off in Mikey and he grabbed my arm.
Wait… sorry, he said, apologizing for the arm grab. I shrugged and he continued talking, I would skate… if someone would teach me. Frank is always talking about how you have to learn things on your own and get cut up and bloody. You’re vegan right? So you’re not into blood, so maybe you’d teach me a little?
I had to laugh. That had to be the weirdest connection anyone has ever made. I’m vegan therefore I hate blood and would teach him to skate. It was such a desperate thing to say, so desperate that I didn’t even catch that it was desperate, I only laughed and nodded. He smiled and laughed a little himself. I told him to get on my board and he did carefully, tensing as the board rolled a little under his weight. I held him on the board by his thin waist and then began explaining to him about balance as Frank rolled past, showing off. He was so nervous, he was shaking and no matter how hard I tried to teach him, he would always do the same thing, coast for a little, lose balance and then jump off the board like it was on fire. After nearly an hour of this we decided to call it quits for the day.
It’d been a decent afternoon and I hadn’t really thought of Gerard much. I mean, sometimes Mikey would have his head turned a certain way or he’d take off his glasses to clean them and all of a sudden it was almost like I was staring at a watered down version of Gerard, but still I really didn’t think about him that much. As night approached Frank decided it would be a good idea to throw a party, despite the fact that both myself and Mikey told him it would be a bad one. He assured us it would be only a few people and he really did call only a few people, but then those people brought people and those people brought people who also brought people and a keg, so by 10pm the house was filled with blaring music and tipsy or drunken people. It was around then that it happened. Frank was off dancing with this girl that was at least 20 feet taller than him and Mikey and I were in this circle on the floor with some guys and a chick. They were passing around booze and joints and it was such a mellow atmosphere. I wasn’t drunk, but I was tipsy as hell but calm from the pot. The guy who had started the joint passing was going on and on about how American Idol is a communist show that brainwashes people into going to war and destroying the ozone with hairspray and codfish oil. Mikey was sitting across from me in the circle, laughing and laughing at nothing. I didn’t know if he was drunk, but I’m positive he was high as a kite. After a while he stopped laughing completely and looked at me. I think I called him, but I don’t remember, he came over next to me though and sat down really close so that our legs were touching. He put his head against my shoulder and started saying something, but I couldn’t hear him over the music, he was being so quiet. I told him to speak up, but he stopped speaking altogether and then his hand was on my thigh. I didn’t do anything, cause it was so normal. I mean, Frank touches my thigh all the time, so I figured why not Mikey, right? But then he looked up at me and his eyes were just so fucking brown and his hand kept moving up my thigh so slowly. My stomach started twitching inside. I knew something was going to happen, but I couldn’t bring myself to move, I was too comfortable and his eyes, they just kept me glued to the floor. I didn’t realize when it happened, but suddenly his lips were against mine and my hand was in his hair. His hand had gone all the way up my thigh and was rubbing against my crotch as I kissed him harder and needier. My own hands were up his shirt, scratching and grabbing at his skin. Then I was on top of him, grinding my crotch against his, moaning a little into his mouth as he moaned into mine. His hands were all over my back and my tongue was in his mouth. He broke the kiss and attached his lips to my neck and sucked and bit my skin. I moaned loudly and closed my eyes, feeling his mouth on me and the tingle in my body that was finding its way towards my cock. Then he was on top of me, sitting on me, grinding his crotch against the bulge in my pants like we were fucking and I loved it and I was yelling and moaning and saying his name…
Oh, yes, Gerard. Fuck yes.
My breath caught in my throat as I realized what I said and who I was really with. I suddenly felt sick to my stomach and I shoved Mikey roughly off me. He crashed into the random girl that had been in our circle, looking around confused, as though he’d just woken up from some dream. I just got up and ran to the bathroom after that, pushing some skanky couple out of it before closing the door and hurling into the toilet.
I don’t remember much from after that, but Frank at some point kicked everyone out of the house cause the neighbors kept calling and complaining about the noise. I could hear him yelling through the bathroom door about how he was drunk but not drunk enough to let the police arrest him. I must have fallen asleep after that cause when I woke up again it was two in the morning and I was lying in the bathtub.
I don’t know what I’m supposed to do now. I was so disgusted with myself and I still am. I knew what I was doing with Mikey and I knew the entire time that it was Mikey, but my thoughts still went to his brother and I still called out his brother’s name. I don’t even like Mikey! I mean, he’s an alright kid, but I don’t want him. I fucking played him. I only hope he doesn’t remember any of this, because it’d fucking kill him. All this time, it was so obvious. How did I miss it? He’s wanted me hardcore since the first moment he met me and then we get wasted and I let him get all over me like he has a chance and then call out his brother’s name? I didn’t get sick because of him, I got sick because of me. I’m disgusted with myself.
And now its nearly four and I have no idea what the fuck I’m going to do about all this when the sun comes up. https://b-paradeslash.livejournal.com/31655.html?view=comments#comments quinn allman -- rating: r Tokio Hotel - "Durch den Monsun" Tokio Hotel - "Durch den Monsun" annoyed public valiaclaire 7408232 2 https://b-paradeslash.livejournal.com/30993.html Thu, 13 Dec 2007 18:22:18 GMT Not Just A Fragrance By Calvin Klein (5) valiaclaire https://b-paradeslash.livejournal.com/30993.html\-Title: Not Just A Fragrance By Calvin Klein
-Author:
valiaclaire (moi)-Band/Pairing: Quinn/MCR fella..its obvious, don't worry
-Chapter: 5/7?
-Rating: R
-Summary: I’m trying not to cross over the line, to let my love turn into obsession. Obsession isn’t pretty...and neither is stalking, but I am good at both and they say you should go with what you know, go with what you’re born to do....Oh so AU.
-Disclaimer: I own no one and know no one. This is all fiction.
-Author's Notes: Okay so this chapter is really extremely long, lol. Quinn likes to write I guess, lol. I think this is my favorite chapter so far. Hopefully you guys will like it too. Comments would be delicious. Chapter 6 will be up soonish. And chapter 7 will be finished soonish.
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
x-posted ages ago in
sexagons_r_betr and mychemicalslashChapter 5 - Golden
Date: May 11, 2006; 8:49 PM
Location: Bedroom
Mood: Golden
Subject: Your little Quinnie's been a bad bad boy
Frank stepped up to me at school at my locker first thing this morning. I’d barely gotten my books out of my book bag before I noticed him hovering behind me. That’s not the kind of thing I want to deal with in the morning. I had a nightmare last night. The last thing I need is a pissy Iero trying to poke me in the ass at 7:45 in the morning.
Hey, I said turning around and giving Frank an innocent smile.
Mikey said he saw you out walking yesterday. Its funny cause I thought your mom wanted you home yesterday. So, I called your house just to say hi and your mom answers and says you hadn’t been home all day nearly. Dude, what the fuck? Why’d you ditch me? said Frank angrily, though his eyes read nothing but hurt.
I had to feel a little sorry for him. I didn’t realize hanging out with him would mean that much. Poor ickle Frankie-kins, I’m sorry. I was just...PMSing. There’s shit going down at home between me and my dad. I just had to get out for the day. I told my mom that morning that I’d be home late. I just wanted to be alone. I’m sorry, Frank. I was a dick. I shoulda just told you.
Yeah, you were a dick...but its cool. I love me some dick, hehe, said Frank with a grin, laughing at his own joke.
I laughed too, appeasing him, and then held my hand out to him, So all’s forgiven?
Frank smiled again and grabbed my hand, a satisfied look in his eyes, Course. You know you could always talk to me right? I’ll listen. I know about dad’s, trust me.
I’ll remember that...so wanna hang out today? We could go to the park and skate and all that, I suggested, grabbing my books for first period.
Uh... nah. I was heading over to Mikey’s for our English project. How much do you know about John Keats? asked Frank, raising an eyebrow.
Well, he’s my favorite poet so I think I know quite a bit, I said easily. This was a chance to see Gerard again. I was not going to let that pass me by. Even if I knew nothing about Keats, I still would have said I knew him like a lover.
SWEET! YES! I’ll tell Mikey. You have no idea how hard a time we were having. We’ve had forever to do this but we kept blowing it off. You lucky bastard, coming into the school year so late.
Frank gave me a little punch in the shoulder and then the bell rang and he ran off, yelling again about how he’d tell Mikey. I nodded and then made my way to class, PE. I don’t despise or loathe PE, but its not my most favorite class in the world. I look like such a fucking dork in those shorts. Why does it seem like I’m the only person with extremely tiny embarrassing shorts? Fuck. But whatever, I’m letting it go. Its all pointless to care about. I don’t want to be on their stupid little teams. Who cares if I get picked last when I’m actually damn good at dodge ball? Ugh... I swear I’m over it. Its all petty shit anyways...
Okay, I’m over it for real now.
I spent most of the school day daydreaming, wondering about how things would go down at Mikey’s, if he’d be a dick, if Frank would be breathing down my neck the whole time spewing his horrible jokes, and if Gerard would be there. I daydreamed about catching Gerard in the bathroom....naked in the bathroom and dripping wet after getting out of the shower. The mirror and windows would be all fogged up from the steam and his expression would be of complete surprise, his jaw dropped and his lips forming a pretty little “O“ shape. His hair would be clinging to his forehead and he’d be frozen reaching out for a towel, but his front would be facing me and completely exposed. Needless to say, I had developed a nice little tent in my pants during US History I that I took care of as soon as class was over. By the time the final bell rang I was more than ready to get to Mikey’s and had my books all packed up in record time. I met up with Frank and Mikey outside on the steps and we proceeded to walk to Mikey’s...Damn it, my laptop battery is about to die. I have to go plug this thing in, be right back.
Date: May 11, 2006; 9:54 PM
Location: Bedroom
Mood: Annoyed...pissy
Subject: Damn comp
Yeah, sorry about that. That’s what happens when you use a hand-me-down laptop. Anyways, the walk was long and boring and tedious. I spent most of the time memorizing the surroundings, so I would know how to get there on my own. Its a 30 minute walk from the back of school, so it’d be an hour walk from my house, a 30 minute ride on a bike... Frank had been going on and on about something, but neither I nor Mikey was responding. All day Mikey’d been so jumpy and as we went on our way to his house, he was so quiet. I watched him for a while. He walked stiffly and his mind seemed to be elsewhere for the most part. He was nodding along to Frank though. He never looked at me once. When we finally got to Mikey’s, I was frozen to my spot. His house...its brown with white shutters... its the same exact house that was in the reoccurring dream I was having. I just stood there dumbfounded. How could I dream of Mikey’s house before even getting there? What’s it all mean?
You aren’t Harry Potter. You aren’t going to just apparate inside, said Frank suddenly into my ear.
I jumped. Mikey was standing at the door, holding it open for me, frowning. Frank laughed, then smacked my ass before saying, In you go, sleeping beauty. We’ve got work to do.
I gave him a look and he pinched my cheek, then headed into Mikey’s house.
Sorry...got a lot on my mind. Your house looks nice, I said to Mikey, before entering. He gave me a little smile and then locked the door behind me.
Mikey’s house is.... okay. Its got a nice living room. It looks like it’ll be okay for a small party and there isn’t anything breakable in it really or priceless. The TV was a good size and there seemed to be a couple of good DVDs there, but we didn’t stay there long. Mikey ushered us to his bedroom nearly as soon as we were inside. Its up the stairs, first door on the left. The room was pretty average and neat, cleaned up for company I‘m thinking. There was nothing on the floor and the walls were white with a poster of The Smith‘s up by the bed. He had a desk in one corner and a computer. He had a bookcase, dresser, closet, etc. We settled on the floor in the middle of his room and began working. I told them all I knew of Keats’ life; that he was born on Halloween, how he lost both his parents and his grandfather at a young age and his brother, how he’d wanted to be a surgeon and how his failing health and lack of wealth prevented him from marrying the woman he loved. Frank said it was all romantic and tragic and had thrown himself against me with his hand over his forehead, imitating a fainting damsel. I pushed him off and we laughed. I hate to say it, but sometimes Frank is somewhat amusing.
He’s right though... about the tragic romanticism. That’s why I chose Keats for us... all of his poems seem to be dripping with a little desperation, said Mikey carefully, not quite looking me in the eye.
Nah... I don’t think so. He knew his time was running out, but he still had hope. He wasn’t completely emo. I think that’s why I like him. He has his down poems and his tragic moments, but he still has his up poems and his glory poems and he never gave up on love. He’s pretty remarkable, I said honestly and a little passionately.
Mikey looked me in the eyes then and a small smile formed on his face, Yeah...he is...Plus all the cool people die of TB.
Exactly. Ha! and I laughed and Mikey laughed and it was weird...but not in a bad way.
After we’d finished laughing we looked at each other for a moment, sharing smiles, but then Mikey went all blushy and turned away. He started fixing some of the papers and Frank shook his head. It had been a nice moment, but it was over. It was time to get down to business. Since we’d been there, Mikey hadn’t mentioned his brother once. Gerard was my reason for being there. I had to find him.
Hey you guys, I think I’m thirsty so I’m gonna go down to the kitchen. Want anything? I asked, getting up and stretching a little.
You don’t know where it is. I should go, you’re a guest. Mikey said, pushing his glasses up his thin nose.
No its okay, my legs were falling asleep anyways. I’m sure I can find it on my own, I said, shrugging.
He’s a big boy, he can more than handle himself I’m sure, said Frank, giving me a wink, Get me a Mountain Dew while you’re down there.
K. You, Mikey?
No, I’m good....
I’ll be back then, I said, turning around and closing the door behind me.
I wasn’t really thirsty, but it was an excuse. There were three other doors on that floor. The first one across from Mikey was the bathroom. The second, next to the bathroom, was a closet. There was a door at the end of the hall, but that was their parents room. I frowned and headed down the stairs, but I wasn’t thwarted yet. I looked around the first floor for the entrance to the basement, it was the only other place his room could be. The entrance was near the back door. I knocked on it. No answer. I put my hand on the knob, prayed it would be unlocked and turned it. Success. I knew I didn’t have a lot of time and I wanted to be quick about it, but I still went down the stairs slowly. They were rickety and creaky and the banister attached to them was shaky. I was holding my breath. When I got to the bottom I looked around, eyes wide as saucers, heart beating against my chest so hard it hurt. His room was dimly lit and small. There floor was covered in dark green carpet and the walls were black. There were several bookcases against the wall right by the base of the stairs. They were filled with comics and books and videos and notebooks. On top of them were little figurines and statues and a little blue-ish metal sword. I walked up to them and picked a few up. I played with them a little. I recognized the Full Metal Alchemist character he’d been looking at the day I first saw him. Guess he went back for it after all.
After that, I turned around and looked more at the room. Against the back wall was his dresser and one of those closets you buy from the store that zip up and you have to put it together. There was a bed connected to a couch, open and unmade in the center of the room, a coffee table with art books, a sketch pad, and different colored pens on it and a tv in front of it all against a wall. Hanging on the wall was a calendar and some paintings that he probably painted himself. The other wall was covered with more art and a few posters of The Misfits and Iron Maiden, plus there were three easels, two had blank canvases and the last was unfinished. I think he was making a dragon. I wanted to further examine it but I was being called toward his dresser. There was a lamp on top of it and some pictures of Mikey and I’m guessing his parents, and then some chick who I assumed was a cousin or maybe his fag hag. I didn’t really care about the pictures though. I looked around and scratched at my hands. I knew I had to go soon. I couldn’t get caught. But I couldn’t leave yet...not without a piece of him. It wouldn’t be stealing. It would be barrowing. I just wanted a small part of him to take home with me, that’s all. I wasn’t going to borrow a painting or something really precious to him. Just something small that he would miss but would still carry his essence like an article of clothing or something. Without a second thought, I started going through his dresser. I couldn’t help myself. I pulled out a couple of shirts and sniffed at them. They smelled like fabric softener. I frowned and closed the dresser. I had fabric softener at home, I could sniff my own damn clothes if I wanted to smell that. There was a dirty clothes hamper on the other side of the dresser, filled with clothes. I smiled to myself. It was the scent jackpot. I started pulling out different clothes; jeans, t-shirts, wifebeaters, ...underwear. I put everything else down except for the underwear. They were cute blue briefs. I figured he was more of a boxers guy, but I guess anything is possible. I brought the crotch part up to my nose and breathed deep. My eyes rolled back into my head and I moaned into them. Fuck yes. I know its cliché, I know, but I had to. I just had to sniff them...and I had to stick them into my pants pocket. I swear I’ll give them back after I’m done with them. Next time I’m over at Mikey’s, which will be soon hopefully, I’ll gingerly put them back into his hamper. I promise.
What are you doing down here?
I jumped. I completely forgot I was supposed to be doing something. My mind blanked.
I said what are you doing down here? The voice sounded tense and annoyed. It was Mikey’s.
I shook off the shock and turned around.
I was looking for Gerard, I said coolly, frowning a little at Mikey’s frown, I hadn’t noticed him when we got in and then when I went to get the sodas I remembered about him. I was hoping he’d show me some of his drawings or paintings. You’re always bragging about him, I figured it was time to check them out.
Oh really? Mikey challenged, eyebrow raised.
Yeah...what’d you think? I said incredulously, screwing my face up to look annoyed and just a tad bit hurt.
Oh...nothing. I was just...You were taking a while. Frank was being a dick. I was just checking to see if you were alright and I was getting away from Frank, Mikey said, looking down, Sorry.
S’okay. I shouldn’t have wandered off. I’m a very bad sheep, very, very baaaaaaa-d, I said, walking up to Mikey with my hands up by the sides of my head to make them look like sheep‘s ears.
Ha ha. Come on, Quinnie-sheep, I’ll take you back to the flock, Mikey laughed, grabbing the collar of my shirt and pulling me forward.
Baaaa. Thanks so much, master, I said, giving my leg a little kick to the side and then going up close to Mikey and licking his cheek, Baaaa!
As soon as I licked his cheek, Mikey let go of my collar and went beet red. He started to stutter something but then he just ran up the stairs. He caught me completely off guard with that and I didn’t think to call after him. After a few seconds I just shook my head and went up stairs. I found the kitchen pretty easily. It was a simple kitchen; table, chairs, stove, fridge, etc. I got out the Dews and then headed back up.
What’d you do? Steal his ass virginity? Frank jokingly asked, eyebrow raised, pointing with his thumb at Mikey who was sitting on the floor, legs crossed, face down and red.
I narrowed my eyes and opened my mouth to speak but Mikey yelled out instead, Shut the fuck up, Frank! Quinn didn’t do anything. So just drop the fucking subject so we can work on this stupid project. Its your fault we didn’t have it finished sooner anyways! You’re such a fucking lazy sloth! I kept telling you we needed to do it. If it weren’t for you, Quinn wouldn’t have to be helping us and we wouldn’t have to be rushing at the last fucking minute!
Frank’s eyes went wide and he apologized quietly. After that there wasn’t much talking and we got a lot done. Mikey didn’t look at me at all for the rest of the night and we didn’t have any really cool, excited discussions about Keats. Mikey’s mom came home at around 6:30 and invited me and Frank to stay for dinner. Frank said he would but I declined. I called my mom and then she came and picked me up. I got to say goodbye to Frank but Mikey wasn’t around. I told Frank to tell Mikey I said bye. He said he would and then started to say something, but stopped. Instead he told me he’d see me at school tomorrow and kissed my cheek really quick. I called him fresh and then gave him a little smack on the cheek and then laughed. He laughed too, said some lame sexual innuendo, winked, and closed the door. Frank’s an asshole.
Anyways, its late now and this is pretty long, so I guess I’ll finish now. So, good night all. Its time that I had some intimate time with Gerard’s underwear. *winks*
Questions? Comments? Concerns? Suggestions? https://b-paradeslash.livejournal.com/30993.html?view=comments#comments quinn allman -- rating: r Circa Survive - "Kicking Your Crosses Down" Circa Survive - "Kicking Your Crosses Down" sleepy public valiaclaire 7408232 1 https://b-paradeslash.livejournal.com/30760.html Wed, 12 Dec 2007 03:46:28 GMT Not Just A Fragrance By Calvin Klein (4) valiaclaire https://b-paradeslash.livejournal.com/30760.html\-Title: Not Just A Fragrance By Calvin Klein
-Author:
valiaclaire (moi)-Band/Pairing: Quinn (The Used)/MCR fella..its obvious, don't worry
-Chapter: 4/7?
-Rating: R
-Summary: I’m trying not to cross over the line, to let my love turn into obsession. Obsession isn’t pretty...and neither is stalking, but I am good at both and they say you should go with what you know, go with what you’re born to do....Oh so AU.
-Disclaimer: Its all lies. None of this ever happened. I've made it all up.
-Author's Notes: So I completely forgot to post this due to lack of comments, but I'm starting back up again. So I'll post 5 soonish and then 6 and then by some miracle i'll actually write chap 7 and therefore finish this fic. If I actually do manage to finish this within the next month or two, expect a different chaptered fic that is also unfinished but will hopefully be finished by the time I'm done posting all the stuff I already wrote. SO yeah, phew, lol. Enjoy. Comments would be extremely nice.
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
x-posted ages ago in
sexagons_r_betr and mychemicalslashChapter 4 - Blind
Date: May 10, 2006; 7:58 PM
Location: Bedroom
Mood: Good, thanks and you?
Subject: Blind
I went to the coffee shop today. I took a seat at a table in the corner where I could see who came in and out. I ordered a latte and I waited. Every time the door opened, my heart seemed to jump out of my chest. Every time the door opened, it wasn’t him. It crushed me. I finished my first latte and ordered a second one and a muffin. I ate the muffin slowly. It took me nearly an hour to finish it. The black haired boy still would not show. My latte was tepid by then. I drank it anyway. I got there at 3:30. I had told Frank I couldn’t hang out with him because my mom wanted me home to do laundry and clean my room. He’d believed me. I left the coffee shop at 6:30. It seemed like a complete waste of three hours. I sighed, grabbed my book bag, left the coffee shop and headed down the street. I was so pissed. I turned the corner with my head down and crashed into someone.
What the fuck? Watch where you’re fucking going you-
I looked up and shut up. It was the dark haired boy from Hot Topic....and Mikey.
I’m...I didn’t mean....I crashed into you and..., I started, completely embarrassed and turning red.
The pale boy only shook his head and patted my shoulder, Its cool. I wasn’t watching where I was going either.
And at that moment, I forgot how to breath.
Hey, Gerard, this is Quinn. He’s the new kid from Utah. And Quinn, this is my brother Gerard, said Mikey, pointing to me.
Pale boy was Mikey’s brother. I wanted to fall into the floor and die. I went completely pale myself.
Gerard smiled at me (he fucking smiled at me) and extended him hand, Ohhhh, so you’re Quinn. Pleased to meet you. You’re all Mikey’s been talking about lately. I was wondering when I’d get to meet the famous Quinn Allman.
It was Mikey’s turn to blush then as I looked at him momentarily, before staring down at Gerard’s outstretched hand, the same hand that I’d seen him brush through his hair repeatedly at the mall, the same hand that looked so steady and delicate and maybe even soft. Was it soft? Do I like soft hands? I grabbed his hand then. Yeah, it was soft. I nearly forgot that I was supposed to shake it. I did though, shake it, too vigorously, and I held it for too long. It was warm too, by the way. I had to try hard to suppress a sigh when he let go of my own rough hand.
So uh...Mikey’s told me a lot about you too...You’re a really good artist...like award winning...or so I’ve heard, heh, I’d managed, giving a nervous laugh, because I was, of course, extremely nervous, like do-I-cut-the-red-wire-or-the-blue-wire-to-deactivate-the-bomb?!nervous. I’m surprised he didn’t see me shaking.
Gerard gave an embarrassed smile then and I felt my face turn bright red, the fact that he smiled over something that I said making me want to fall faint, Hmm, well, I’m not that good. Mikey kind of embellishes things sometimes, but thank you. Did Mikey tell you that I was going to have a going away party to celebrate me finally getting the hell out of Jersey?
Yeah, I told him and I invited him a little bit ago. He said he’d get back to me on it, said Mikey suddenly, nearly cutting Gerard off and then giving me an expectant look.
Uh yeah, I was gonna ask my uh, my mom. Yeah, I think I can go, but I’ll have to remind her and stuff, I said, mentally kicking myself.
And stuff? Well let Mikey know when you find out. We’re heading to the cafe over there and then to the movies. Want to come or...? Gerard began, giving Mikey a quick look.
Mikey’s eyes went wide for a second before he said forcefully to Gerard, Gee, I think Quinn probably has to get home or something. So maybe we should invite him some other time okay?
Geez, Mikes....Quinn, excuse my brother, he’s on his period, Gerard said apologetically.
Nah, its okay. He’s right, I have to get going anyways, I said, Mikey’s pms sobering me enough to be able to talk to Gerard without stuttering like a child, So it was a pleasure meeting you, Gerard. I guess I’ll see you around?
Yeah, I’m sure you’ll bump into me at Mikey’s. I don’t lead that much of a busy life that you won’t see me bumming it at home playing PS2 and eating a pint of Ben and Jerry’s, just wasting my life away, said Gerard dramatically.
He wasn’t all that funny. I laughed anyways...and he laughed too...and I wanted to jump on him. If only I could have. Instead, I turned to Mikey and told him I’d see him at school and he kind of nodded at me and then I started walking and they walked past me. I stopped and turned to watch them go into the cafe...and to watch Gerard’s ass. He was wearing tight pants again, oh what a sight that was. I masturbated as soon as I got into my room. Despite the fact that I seemed completely lame and childish in front of Gerard, what took place today was a step in the right direction. All this time I was hardly paying attention to Mikey, and his brother turns out to be the Hot Topic boy. Its so completely insane but it makes perfect sense. I had noticed it. That’s why I’d stare at Mikey like that, duh. *smacks head* I guess he resembles Gerard a little, but only a little. But it doesn’t matter. All that matters is the fact that I’ve gotten to speak to Gerard. I need to get to Mikey’s house more often. Forget Frank, he’s useless to me now. Its all about Mikey in order to finally have Gerard. Yes. So now I definitely need to get to that party. I’ll ask my mom when she gets in, till then I’ll wait here and look at journals and all that...
But you know what gets to me though, besides the obvious fact that Gerard actually talked to me (I sound like such a fucking chick)? Mikey’s reaction when Gerard invited me to join them. What was that all about, that look? Why wouldn’t Mikey want me around? Was it that evident that I wanted his brother? Was he trying to protect him from me? But why would he think that there’s a need for protection? He has no idea about my past....
My mom’s home. Gonna go ask now. Bye.
Date: May 10, 2006; 9:13 PM
Location: Bedroom
Mood: Happy
Subject: To finish what I'd started...
She said yes as long as my dad doesn’t have a problem with it. My dad will be perfectly fine with it. He wants me to bounce back from the tragedy of the past and make friends and live life again. So yeah, this is gonna be fucking sweet!
Gerard will be mine. 10 Days till the party. I have so much to do until then, you guys, so much...
Comments?
Chapter 5 https://b-paradeslash.livejournal.com/30760.html?view=comments#comments quinn allman -- rating: r the fan blowing air at me the fan blowing air at me annoyed public valiaclaire 7408232 2 https://b-paradeslash.livejournal.com/29780.html Sat, 17 Nov 2007 00:07:43 GMT Three words. Chapter 1 soullessmcrfan https://b-paradeslash.livejournal.com/29780.html Blood drips from my fingers. How could I think I was cut our for this? I'm so worthless. As I walk through the streets, I think of him. The boy I fell in love with.
Maybe I should tell you a little about myself. My name is Frost. I'm an 18 year old boy. your wondering why an 18 year old by is walking around New Jersey at 2 o'clock in the morning. Well, I can't sleep. And your parents drugged out friends having a party at your house doesn't help. As for the blood,I cut just to know I'm alive. Not that anyone else does. knows I'm alive I mean.
Later that morning, I'm standing outside the school smoking a cigarette. I'm not suppose to smoke on school property but everyone does. In fact, the principal just walked by me and nodded. He stops at the door and turns.
"Frost, right?" Oh. Shit.
"Yeah." my voice weak and kinda bored.
"Don't stay out too long. Its frosty today."
I laughed a little as he smiled. I'm glad he's in a good mood.
After I finish my cigarette, I pull out a new one. I'm waiting for Frank. He's a friend of the boy of my dreams. But I've never told him that. He's walking up now. "Can I bum one?" he ask.
I hand him two. I always give him one extra. He'll probably smoke them both while waiting for Gerard and ,*sighs*, Mikey.
Mikey. I love his name. Its so cool. He's so quiet around everyone else. I don''t think I've said twenty words to him ever at one time. But I say enough to get him to start. He can just go on and on when you let him know your listening. I love to hear him talk. He goes on about everything that unimportant. Like if he's gay or anything like that. He tells me about Gerard's boyfriends and how things are with Bob and Ray.They're both twenty and daring. They're friends of Gerard and therefore I know them through Mikey and Gerard.
"Can I bum one?" Gerard asked. I hand him one.
"Want one, Mikey?" I always ask him. He sometimes takes one. He's 16 and Gerard is my age. Frank is the same age as us also. So, i hold out the pack toward him with one sticking out for him to take. He nodes and takes it.
We all finish our cigarettes and head inside. Its cold out today. My hands are numb. And Mikey notices. " how long have you been outside?" he ask.
"Been walking around town since about two this morning. Why?"
"Why have you been walking around all night?"
"Couldn't sleep." I stare at the floor. Thats only partly true. How could I tell him my parents were always drunk or high? How could I tell him something that would just further push him away?
Mikey looked at him sideways. He didn't believe Frost story. "Frost, you can tell me anything." He emphasized anything.
Frost stopped dead. What did he know? "Mikey, I can't tell you anything. If I did you ..." He stopped, looking at Mikey.
"I what Frost? Please just talk to me." He pleaded.
Frost looked at him for a long time. Mikey. He thought sadly. Oh Mikey. "What if I told you I was gay?" He asked. He waited for Mikey's reaction. Mikey just looked at him for a second.
"Good." he murmured and looked at the floor.
"What do you mean 'good'?" Frost asked.
Mikey blushed. "I.." he started. " I have a crush on you." he stated slowly.
Frost stared at him. "Oh my god." his jaw hung open.
"Are you mad at me?" he asked.
Frost just stared at him for a moment. "Mikey" he said slowly. " I have a confession to make." he paused. "I have had a crush on you for forever." He emphasized forever.
Note from author. This is my first fan fiction. and the first chapter. I hope you enjoy it. Please comment and let me know what you think. thanks. https://b-paradeslash.livejournal.com/29780.html?view=comments#comments -- rating: pg bloody romance-senses fail bloody romance-senses fail numb public soullessmcrfan 14120298 3 https://b-paradeslash.livejournal.com/29405.html Mon, 22 Oct 2007 22:04:45 GMT It ends tonight. magicdani https://b-paradeslash.livejournal.com/29405.html
Title: It ends tonight [standalone].
Author: magicdani
Pairing: Gerard Way/Frank Iero [frerard]
Word count: 1993
Rating: NC-15
Warning: Suicide, Alcohol, Self-mutilation.
Disclaimer: Believe me, if I owned My Chemical Romance I would NOT be killing them.
A/N: This story will read a lot better if you play 'It ends tonight - All-american rejects' whilst listening. It's a oneshot songfic.
The atmosphere here is fraught with tension, sharp enough to slice with a blade.
A once cheerful place, the tour bus has turned cold and I can’t warm it up again.
It’s that old cowboy cliché on repeat, but there’s no room here for the both of us.
We just don’t want to admit it.
Your subtleties
They strangle me
I can’t explain myself at all.
A peel of laughter that rolls through the room, the infectious giggle I used to adore, it’s turned sour.
There’s nothing to laugh about so why are you?
Is it just another sign of how little you care?
I lost your love a long time ago, have I lost your respect also?
I’m choking in this ambience, the air has been sucked out the room.
You were my oxygen and now I can’t breathe without you.
And all the wants
And all the needs
All I don’t want to need at all.
It won’t compute, and I don’t think my brain received the urgent memo telling me it was over.
The love remains, but it’s jaded and spoiled, desecrated by the memory of you.
You and him.
I still cry sometimes you know?
Late at night when no one’s listening.
When you’re tucked up in your cosy bunk dreaming peacefully.
Dreaming of him.
I wish it were me.
Less than a metre away, yet you’ve never seemed so far.
I’d climb mountains to reach you. Sometimes it feels like I have to.
You’re only the other side of the room.
The walls start breathing
My minds unweaving
Maybe it’s best you leave me alone.
I’m stifled here, I’ve lost my will.
The world is spinning, a web of deceit and lies surround me, and I don’t know what’s real anymore.
The walls have eyes, nothing’s hidden, and I have no secrets anymore.
You spilled them for me, like the blood I spilled for you.
The yarns you wove, the tales you told to hide your betrayal, it’s all come loose, mirroring the inner realms of my mind.
I’m sure of nothing and scared of everything.
This darkness surrounds me, this fear grips me in claws of steel.
I can’t break free.
I’m stuck in your clutches, you are the claws.
And as long as you’re here I’ll never escape.
But I can’t block you out. You’re still here and I’ll never be free.
A weight is lifted
On this evening
I give the final blow.
But tonight Sugar, my mind is clearer than it’s been in months.
I have a best friend in each hand.
And they’ve helped me more than you ever did.
You poured the vodka away when I’d had enough, you kept me standing when I couldn’t manage myself, and you held my hand when the cravings ripped mercilessly through my broken body.
You were the one who held me as I shook and calmed me as I begged for death.
How ironic then, that you are the reason for the comfort in my left hand.
“To Jack!” I slurred, as I took a gulp of the burning whiskey.
When darkness turns to light,
It ends tonight,
It ends tonight.
The fog’s beginning to abate, with every new bottle cracked open.
It’s so clear now what I must do and you know it too.
But shhhh… it’s a secret.
We all know how good you are at keeping those though.
You’re probably revealing more of my faults to the people I love as we… as I speak.
They think I’m the monster now.
They’re probably right.
No matter.
I won’t be here in the morn.
A falling star
Least I fall alone.
I’m head over heels for you and I keep on tumbling.
You were the light that guided me and now I’m blind.
My sky’s are empty, all the stars have fallen, there’s nothing left.
I’m the only one, abandoned and desolate, where did you go?
Why did you leave me?
I loved you. I would have given you everything.
You WERE everything.
Nothing else mattered… matters.
There will never be anyone like you, never.
I hope you know that.
I can’t explain what you can’t explain.
You're finding things that you didn’t know.
You ask me questions, though you deserve no answers.
You’ll never know what you did to me.
You broke me with your betrayal, and I don’t think I can be fixed.
I don’t know why you did it.
You won’t tell me.
But answers? Surely I deserve them before I say goodbye?
I look at you with such disdain.
I love you.
It’s still as fierce as the day we first met.
But it’s soiled and cracked.
Now contempt shines through my eyes when they gaze in your direction.
Derision and devotion in equal measures.
You haven’t earned either.
I shouldn’t give you the time of day, let alone my life.
The walls start breathing
My minds unweaving
Maybe it’s best you leave me alone.
I’m still being watched, or maybe it’s just my imagination.
Whispers emitted from the walls tell me I’m stupid, a fool in love.
I wish you’d get out of my head.
A weight is lifted
On this evening
I give the final blow.
With every swig from the comforting bottle I’m a step closer to my final destination.
I know what awaits me at the other end, and I’m thankful it’s not you.
You’re not yet ready to venture to that place I’ve dreamt of.
You’ll stay here, maybe continue touring, it won’t be hard to replace me.
You’re good with the throat, and he’ll continue harmonising no matter what.
The band won’t suffer.
We’ve got a fucking army out there.
They’ll stay true to you.
I’ll be at peace.
When darkness turns to light
It ends tonight,
It ends tonight.
The dawn’s approaching but I won’t be here to see it.
It’s so beautiful at this time of the fall.
The smell of pure dew on fresh grass, leaves beginning to drop from wizened trees and cool winds casting shadows on the heat of the day, so diminished by the approach of winter.
I’d give anything to gaze upon the pastel shades of the sunrise, to hear the call of songbirds waking the sleeping world and to know that all will be right when I’m gone.
Just a little insight won't make this right
It’s too late to fight
If only I could see it just one more time.
I’m resigned to my fate.
And the lure of my friend is too strong.
The glint of silver, I’m drawn like a magpie and I can’t resist the temptation.
It’s not long before the steel blade is joined by a flash of red, the colour of love, my love flowing freely for you.
It ends tonight,
It ends tonight.
It ends tonight.
Now I’m on my own side
It’s better than being on your side
It’ll be over soon I know.
You can be with him and my ghosts will be gone.
These feelings, they’re muted in my chest, numbed by the alcohol that courses through my body, the blood in my veins is replaced with resolve, and I know that my time is almost up.
I’m still on my own, though this is nothing new.
It’s safer than being with you.
I pray you don’t find me till I’m gone, because you’re the only thing that can save me.
Well, I’m beyond saving, I’m almost there, I can practically smell her coming for me.
But you alone can make me want to live.
A contradiction to the fact I’m dying for you too.
It’s my fault when you're blind
It's better that I see it through your eyes
I still have no answers, there are no revelations or epiphanies in death.
All I’m left with is putting myself in your place, trying to understand why you did what you did.
Why did you treat me like that?
And what did he have that I didn’t?
I know he can’t love you as much as I did, it’s impossible.
He wouldn’t die for you.
But I’ve already proved that I would.
I can feel it claiming me, taking me slowly as I bleed out.
I feel no pain except that in my heart. It’s more than enough to make for an agonising exit.
I put myself in your shoes and I draw a blank.
It’s not like you care anymore.
All these thoughts locked inside
Now you’re the first to know
My opinions flow with the love through the open wound, every thought I’ve ever had spilling over the bed sheets.
I hope when you find me you take the time to read them.
I want you to know every agonising second you caused me, each pained breath I took that made me crazy enough to take my life.
You’ll see my broken body lying among the broken bottles, with my broken mind spilled across the white linen and I hope you understand what you did.
Maybe then you’ll show the remorse you never gave to me.
When darkness turns to light
It ends tonight,
It ends tonight.
The dawn’s coming.
I can feel it approaching as swiftly as the desperate beat of my heart falters, and I know it’s a race for time.
Each traitorous pump forces a little more of my life away, and I can feel myself ebbing away slowly, like sand from the tide.
I manoeuvre myself into a new position, one where I can just see out of the little bus window at the approaching sun, hoping for a glimpse before I’m gone forever.
Just a little insight won't make this right
It’s too late to fight
It ends tonight,
I’ve lost the strength to look into your mind and I know now that it wouldn’t help if I could.
Maybe I’ll go happier in the knowledge that I don’t know?
I can’t stay much longer.
I can feel the pull and I’ve got to go.
I want you to know that I’ll always love you, even in death, no matter what you did to me.
You’ll forever be in my heart, and there will never be a day when I won’t think of you.
You’ll be my last living thought and I’ll let that embrace me for the journey.
It ends when darkness turns to light
Another old cliché come to pass, there’s no light at the end of the tunnel.
My sight is fogging over, and my breathing is shallow.
It won’t be long now, and I’m ready to give myself fully for whoever comes for me.
Darkness clouds my vision, little pinpricks of black blocking out the world.
I’m still thinking of you.
And my thoughts are still flowing.
Slower now, but still… flowing.
It ends tonight,
It ends tonight.
The sunrise is almost here, I can feel it warming the night, flecks of red in the sky mirroring those I’ve spilled for you.
Just a little insight won't make this right
I wonder what’s next?
Where do I go from here and will the black parade come for me?
Or was it merely wishful thinking as I wrote in the wake of our love?
It’s too late to fight
The last feeble struggle of my heart as it runs out of life to pump through my veins and I’m going… going…
It ends tonight,
It ends tonight.
I close my eyes on the world and for one beautiful moment I’m happy.
I’m leaving you, the only way I know how.
The claws have opened and I’m free.
I’m flying, the stars are in the sky and it feels wonderful.
Tonight,
She came for me like I knew she would.
My love for you seems feeble in the shadow of hers, Frank.
When darkness turns to light,
It ends tonight.
The sun breaks over the horizon but it’s too late and I’m gone.
It ended tonight. </div> https://b-paradeslash.livejournal.com/29405.html?view=comments#comments gerard way/frank iero -- rating: r gerard way frank iero The Who. The Who. content public magicdani 13385360 3 https://b-paradeslash.livejournal.com/29160.html Fri, 19 Oct 2007 20:49:50 GMT Accidentally On Purpose [2/2] howxixdisappear https://b-paradeslash.livejournal.com/29160.htmlTitle: Accidentally on Purpose [2/2]
Author:
howxixdisappearPrompt: 82- Afraid
Pairing: Gerard/Frank
Rating: R
Summary: Gerard has a disturbing habit
Disclaimer: Not real.
Author Notes: Here it is. The second, and final part. I worked on this for a couple hours, and even made myself feel sick while writing part of it. For the most part, I'm quite happy with it.
Warnings: Swearing. Self-cannobolism. Addiction. Gore.
Part One
It Was An Accident https://b-paradeslash.livejournal.com/29160.html?view=comments#comments --- fake cut public howxixdisappear 10780343 0 https://b-paradeslash.livejournal.com/28447.html Fri, 12 Oct 2007 00:16:01 GMT Accidentally on Purpose howxixdisappear https://b-paradeslash.livejournal.com/28447.htmlTitle: Accidentally on Purpose
Author:
howxixdisappearPrompt: 65-scream
Pairing: Gerard/Frank
Rating: R
Summary: Gerard has a disturbing habit
Disclaimer: Not real.
Author Notes: This was just a little something I did to defeat my awful writters block. It kind of ends in an unfinished way, but I guess that's kinda done on purpose...partically because the rest of what I originally wrote didn't work out. Also, thinking about it later, I realized it might not make a whole world of sense, the way I decided to do it...if it comes to it, I'll re-write it and make things more...better
Warnings: Swearing. Self-cannobolism. Addiction.
A Horrible, Deadly Disease https://b-paradeslash.livejournal.com/28447.html?view=comments#comments --- fake cut public howxixdisappear 10780343 0 https://b-paradeslash.livejournal.com/28247.html Wed, 10 Oct 2007 22:01:24 GMT New Fic and I'm New to the Community xxsicklysweetxx https://b-paradeslash.livejournal.com/28247.htmlTitle: So Pretty Burning [New fic, new community member]
Author: xXSicklySweetXx
Pairing: Gerard/Bert, Mikey/Frankie, Mikey/Gerard
Rating: PG-13 for language n'what not
POV: Bert
Summary: Bert loves Gerard and knows Gerard loves him, but doesn't know what to do when gerard cheats on him with his baby brother.
Disclaimer: Don't know the boys, don't own the boys, don't sue me or the boys. XD
I can't believe it. But then again, somehow part of me was expecting this all along. but that doesn't make it hurt any less. And with his little brother? Who the hell cheats on their fiance with their little brother?? Gerard Arthur Way apparently.
I stare up at the ceiling and all I can think of is whether he's lonely right now. I never thought I'd find myself stooping as low as to make Gerard sleep on the couch. How bad-sitcom is that? But why should I be feeling guilty? Why can't I be angry at him? Or angry at Mikey? Maybe it's because I've spent so much of my life being angry already and there's just no anger left. Besides, I know Mikey didn't mean for this to happen. He loves Frank. That's been obvious to me since I met him. And I think Gee is hurting just as much as I am.
But what should I do? Act like nothing happened? Just cry and fall into his arms?
Actually, that sounds pretty great right now.
A familiar voice interrupts my rather upsetting thoughts.
"Bert?"
Ray. What the hell could he want with me at three o'clock in the fucking morning?
He knocks, harder and harder until I can't ignore it anymore.
"Fine! Come in!" I groan angrily and he opens the door and sits next to me.
"Bert, you knew what you were getting into with Gerard. You know that him and Mikey will always have an unbreakable bond. They grew up with no on but each other. That's bound to leave a mark. A mark that doesn't fade too easily."
I glare at him.
"Shouldn't you be combing your fro or something?"
"Would you just listen to me?"
"No."
But he just rolls his eyes and continues anyway.
"When something was wrong, or their dad got a little--angry--they would turn to each other. They practically spent their entire childhood in each other's arms. It can't be the easiest thing in the world to to be seperated. But just know that Gee loves you, Bert. And Mikey loves Frank. They're just having trouble letting go of what they had."
"That's not what I would call fucking your baby brother in the bed you share with you're finace," I mutter into my pillow.
"Bert, just don't shut him out. Don't ignore him. He needs you."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
*Comments and con-crit will get you cookiesssssssss* https://b-paradeslash.livejournal.com/28247.html?view=comments#comments mikey way gerard way/bert mccracken gerard way mikey way/frank iero -- rating: pg-13 gerard way/mikey way frank iero bert mccracken Early Sunsets Over Monroeville-MCR Early Sunsets Over Monroeville-MCR blah public xxsicklysweetxx 14004521 5 https://b-paradeslash.livejournal.com/27049.html Tue, 11 Sep 2007 00:17:39 GMT They Don't Love You 9 ohvick https://b-paradeslash.livejournal.com/27049.htmlTitle: They Don't Love You Like I Love You [9/?]
Author:
ohvickPairing: Mikey/Alicia, Mikey/Gerard, Gerard/SURPRISE
Rating: PG-13
POV: Mrs. Way (Alicia)
Summary: If I had done what I should’ve done, I wouldn’t have found out how very wrong I’d been and how much worse the situation really was.
Disclaimer: I do not own any of these people, nor do i believe or wish that the Ways are anything more than superbrothers. Now that that's settled, let's pray that we don't go to hell for this. DX
Author Notes: I got this idea from when i was making a bowl of ice cream (with chocolate sauce and sprinkles) and my sister called me fat. -_- thanks skinny bitch. p.s. this is soooo not fluff.
Dedication:
jujubescavities for putting aside all her morals and reading this. ILY! and for all those who read this story, because without you, I'd be writing for nothing, obviously.Beta: my hero,
crossbow1Perfect.
This Picture.
Worse.
Murder.
Sleep.
Brownies.
Fatty.
Ugly.
Escape. https://b-paradeslash.livejournal.com/27049.html?view=comments#comments --- fake cut public ohvick 13423233 0 https://b-paradeslash.livejournal.com/25635.html Wed, 15 Aug 2007 20:32:43 GMT agirlwith_aface https://b-paradeslash.livejournal.com/25635.html
Hi, my name is Kassi, and I just joined.
So I thought I'd post a one shot. I wrote it a little while ago.
Title: Writer's Block
Author: agirlwith_aface
Pairing: Gerard Way/Bob Bryar
Rating: PG. Pure fluff.
Summary: Gerard has writer's block when his neighbor, Bob, decides to drop in to say hi.
Writer's Block
Paper was spread out all around me, some pieces blank, while other’s happened to be littered with scribbled out phrases. The room was dark, lit only by the lamp on the table beside me, my curtains drawn. There were no TVs, no stereos or radios turned on, leaving an eerie silence laying over me, but I could hardly care less. I needed that spark, that one little thing that would help get me through the last batch of lyrics needed for the band. And yet, it wasn’t there, leaving me in complete and utter writer’s block.
A knock at my door made me jump, and I nearly threw the cup of Ramen noodles that I happened to be eating. Sighing, I quickly found a place to set my instant noodles and chopsticks before getting up to see who was at my door, wondering what they wanted. Almost crossly, seeing as my train of thought and concentration was broken, I pulled open the door to find my neighbor standing there, obviously bored.
His name was Bob Bryar, who was a natural blonde with stunning blue eyes. We happened to be friends, in a way where we could depend on each other to help pass the time on a slow day. "Am I intruding?" He asked, in his soft, deep tone.
"No, no," I replied, smiling with ruby red lips, any past anger now melted away. "Come in. I was just brainstorming, so paper’s everywhere." I moved out of the way, letting him pass, closing the door behind us.
"Having trouble?" The blonde picked up a particularly scribbled on sheet of paper, trying to read between and under the dark lines made over everything. Rolling my eyes, I took it from him, crumpling it and chucking it at a waste paper basket.
"Just a bit." I sighed. "I don’t know what to write." Sitting down, I motioned for him to do the same.
"Well, what are you feeling?"
The question gets me thinking. I start to bite my nail, effectively chipping black nail polish, looking up at him through naturally thick eyelashes. I know I can’t tell him the truth without him asking questions, wondering why I feel such a way at such a time, knowing he’d be the one to see through my skilled lies.
Although it does get me thoughts, albeit ineffectively. It was there, the spark. I could feel it, and my hands were shaking as I picked up the nearest pen, and penned down the first line that came to mind: Hand in mine, into your icy blues...
And that was that. The start of a new song. A softer song.
"There you go." He smiled at me. "I think I should go now. I’ll just get in the way."
I couldn’t let him go, though. Not when he was so close, so close to figuring out. When I was so close to telling him. I lightly lay my hand on his arm, wrapping around the muscle, tugging.
"No, don’t go. Stay. Please?" My green eyes were pleading, and I watched him scratch his pale beard before sitting back down.
"Okay. Mind if I light up?" He asked, pulling out a pack of Newport cigarettes and a Spencer rainbow lighter. I stared at the lighter, forgetting the question completely, wondering if the rainbow was simply a joke or if he was seriously gay. "Hello? Earth to Gerard. Mind if I light?"
"Oh, no, just don’t catch my apartment on fire." Even though I used a light tone, I was serious, and I knew he got that. I watched him light up and take a drag, wanting to kiss those lips now wrapped around the filter, gracefully exhaling spiraling gray smoke fumes.
"What?" Bob asked me, and I blushed, knowing how the pastel pink probably lit up my whole pale face.
Shaking my head, I let my black hair fall into my face, almost concealing my blush. I felt his eyes on me, before he pushed my hair away from my face. Usually, a person would withdraw his hand by now, but Bob kept it there, near my face, before lightly touching my cheek with his finger, and then tracing my jaw line.
Now he pulled his hand away, stubbing out his cigarette in the clear glass ash tray. There was a short silence, before I said, "You have rough hands."
"I drum." He made a drumming motion, which made me giggle. I was forgetting about the song, forgetting about the need to finish it, but I didn’t care. Did Bob like me? Or did he act like that with everyone? I started to bite my nail again. "You shouldn’t do that."
"Do what?" I asked around my finger.
"That." Bob nodded towards my finger, before taking that hand in his own, my smaller, soft hand in his larger, callused one. I didn’t want to let go of his hand, it just felt right.
"Bob?"
"Yes?"
My voice was shaking by this point, and I could hardly get out anything above a whisper. I was going to say it, going to tell him...
"I like you."
He smiled.
"I like you too."
Happily, I clutched his hand a little tighter, before leaning over and lightly kissing Bob’s lips, feeling him kiss back. Though I pulled away, knowing now I should probably get the song done. I bit my lip looking down at the paper and back up at Bob.
"You finish that song, Gee. Besides, I have to feed my cat." He smiled at me again, before taking his hand out of mine and leaving. I watched him go, before touching my lips, as though in disbelief.
But I knew it was true. We had kissed, however light it had been. And I had held his hand. Smiling, I picked up the pen and continued to write, purposely being vague. No one needed to know my secret love for Bob except for himself.
</div>
-Author:
valiaclaire (moi)-Band/Pairing: Quinn/MCR fella..its obvious, don't worry, Quinn/Branden
-Chapter: 3/8?
-Rating: R
-Summary: I’m trying not to cross over the line, to let my love turn into obsession. Obsession isn’t pretty...and neither is stalking, but I am good at both and they say you should go with what you know, go with what you’re born to do....Oh so AU.
-Disclaimer: I don't own anyone, though wouldn't that be fun? And I don't know anyone and none of this happened. So there.
Chapter 1 - The Mall...Among Other Things
Chapter 2 - Friending The Locals
Chapter 3 - Memories Fade But Feelings Stay the Same
Date: May 5, 2006; 8:19 PM
Location: Bedroom
Mood: Paranoid
Subject: Wtf is DDR?
So I went to Frank’s house today. He doesn’t live far from he school at all, maybe 4 blocks away. The weather was warm and the sun was bright so it was ideal for walking and looking around. As we went on our way, Mikey was skipping along, walking backwards at times, and basically making a fool of himself as he went on to Frank about something that happened to him at a rock show the other day. I didn’t care about it. I tuned him out. Instead, I thought more on my plan of attack for the whole using-Frank-to-get-at-pale-boy situation. The closer I get to Frank, the closer I’ll get to his friends, that just comes naturally. If I want to be in someone’s life, I have to take whatever baggage they have. The dark haired boy isn’t baggage, but Mikey definitely is. Still, there’s something about him...I don’t know. I was staring at him again while Frank was choosing a game for us to play. Mikey had suggested we played some DDR game, Dance Dance Revolution. I’d never heard of it.
DD-what? What the fuck is that? I said, a little mean I know, but it just came out.
Mikey looked a little surprised, either he didn’t expect me to not know the game, or I’d hurt him a little, Oh...its this game...A song plays and there’s these arrows on the screen and arrows on a mat and you have to step on the mat arrows as the corresponding arrows come up on the screen -
Pish. He doesn’t want to play that game. Its lame. Fuck it. Let’s play something that involves balls...take that as you wish, said Frank, winking at me before turning toward two huge stacks of games.
I couldn’t help but roll my eyes. He’s all talk. I turned towards Mikey, who rolled his eyes as well and ran his fingers through his hair. It was then that I started to stare. There was just something about his hands and the way they moved through his hair. They reminded me of someone. It’s all so vague though. This person he reminds me of can’t be too important if I can’t even remember him or her. I was staring for the longest time, just trying to pinpoint it. I was in a little bit of a trance after awhile. I only stopped when Mikey had noticed and broke out into the reddest blush I’d ever seen. In all actuality, it couldn’t have lasted more than 10 seconds, but it still seemed very weird and I turned away quickly. Frank never noticed, or else he would have made a weak comment. So I was thankful for that and the rest of the day passed without any other odd episodes.
I honestly don’t know what’s wrong with me though. Something about careful steady fingers...hair that keeps falling in front of his face....Oh no. The black haired boy. Are you serious? He’s nothing like the black haired boy, nothing like him. But yes, he reminds me of him. Maybe they look a tiny bit alike even...No. They look nothing alike, maybe similar noses, but no one cares about noses. *sigh* See, I’m getting paranoid. If I don’t have this guy soon, I’ll go insane.
Date: May 6, 2006; 10:50 PM
Location: on my bed
Mood: Lonely, longing, emo, etc
Subject: Coffee shops
I saw him today.
I was supposed to meet up with Frank somewhere. I don’t even remember where. I never made it there.
I was walking to whatever place. I think it was some park or a movie theatre. I passed by this coffee shop and looked into the window randomly and there he was, the black haired boy.
I was literally frozen to my spot for a second, just staring. At some point I walked up to the window, I don’t remember moving at all though. I was pressed up so close to the glass, my breath fogged it. He was sitting in a corner, sideways to me, reading a music magazine I think. He was wearing large black Chanel glasses and sipping at some dark brew in one of those large mugs that were probably intended to be used for soup. He was just flipping absently, not looking up, all alone. I wanted to go in there. I wanted to sit myself down across from him. Just say hi, be friendly, tell him that I’m new and that he seemed like a good guy to talk to. Tell him he seemed interesting and maybe he could show me around. Of course I didn’t do that though, I just stood there on the outside, wanting desperately for the glass to evaporate and for him to talk to me instead, for him to want me instead. But how could he? He doesn’t know me. But soon he will. Soon I’ll work my way into his life and he will be fascinated by me. He will love every part of me, from my platinum blonde hair to my dirty Chucks. Soon. Soon.
Eventually, some suit tapped me on the shoulder and asked me what I was doing against the glass. He scared the shit out of me. I told him to fuck off. After that I walked home.
I laid in bed, staring at the ceiling, just picturing the dark haired boy, wondering what would have happened if he had caught me staring. He would have been freaked out. Its good that that suit came along. I wondered what he was reading about, if he came to that coffee shop often, if he was single, whether he liked boys or girls. He has to like boys though. He seems like he would. It would suit him. He’s really pretty. I think he was wearing a little eyeliner when I first saw him. Straight guys don’t wear eyeliner right? No, they don’t. And he was wearing tight pants that day. Did I say that? Mmm. Thinking about it makes me want to do things...Ugh, this won’t end up like Utah. This won’t end up like what happened between Branden and I. This is different. This guy is different. I must have this guy and he will want to have me just as much. Yes.
Date: May 8, 2006; 4:38 PM
Location: alone in the kitchen
Mood: Determined
Subject: Memories fade but feelings stay the same
I never told you guys about much about my past. I realized that I never mentioned Branden or what happened with him. I’d been with a handful of guys before him, but he was my first real boyfriend. He was tall and had dyed red hair that resembled a tsunami wave. He had striking dark brown eyes and a nose ring. His ears were done too as was the bridge of his nose, but the actual loop on his right nostril was my obsession. The first time I talked to him, I told him I loved his nose ring. When we started dating, I used to nibble on it and lick at it while we made out. He loved that. All we ever did was make out and grope each other and lie in the grass. We always had out best conversations on the grass. He couldn’t shut up when he’s on his back staring at the sky. It was during one of those grass conversations, after we’d been dating for two months, that he told me how he really felt.
You know you’re my best friend right? He was staring straight at the sky, just talking to the wind.
Yeah, of course. And you’re mine, I said while turning towards him and putting my hand on his stomach, drawing circles in the fabric of his shirt with my fingers.
Mmm, stop that. He said, smiling, but just continued to lie there. He started to say something else, but I moved my hand down and started rubbing at the crotch of his pants until I was rewarded the appearance of a nice little bulge. I smiled to myself and then moved my hand away, causing him to whine.
You were saying, dear? I smiled.
Fucking tease, he said turning to me, smiling too before clearing his throat and looking serious, Yeah, I was going to say that, um, you’re my best friend and the first person who ever accepted me for being gay and you were even there to help me tell my parents. You’ve been so perfect....the thing is, you were never really more than a friend to me.
What. I’d said it flatly, devoid of emotions.
I was afraid you thought that you were my boyfriend, but you’re not. What we had was special, but it wasn’t a relationship. I still want to hang out and I still like the “attention” we give each other. But I just wanted to clear that up with you. He said, letting his gaze return to the clear blue cloudless sky as I laid in stunned silence.
I thought my heart had broken, literally. I thought it has shattered and I was bleeding internally. I couldn’t breathe. I remember turning fully towards him, staring at his face. I couldn’t see emotions there. I couldn’t see him giving a fuck. I watched him sit up, turn toward me, say something. What did he say? I don’t remember anymore. I don’t think I ever heard it. He got up, dusted off his pants, brushing off grass as though he were brushing off the memory of me, and walked away. I just laid there.
A week later I saw him in a parking lot making out with some guy. I ran up at him, screaming. This is what you left me for?! This is why I’m just you’re “best friend?” This piece of shit, this slut! He’s not even worth the energy it takes to get in line at the pharmacy to buy medications for whatever sick disease he’s gonna give you! Who the fuck do you think you are?! Dumping me?! What the fuck is this!? And after that I just snapped. I just started punching him. He was so stunned he didn’t even fight back when I shoved him to the ground and got on top of him. I just started punching his face into the cement, over and over again, just going, even when the red I saw in my eyes was the same red that was covering my hands, the same that was covering his face, even after he started to fight, after he gave up and began to cry. The only reason I stopped is because that guy pulled me off. He pulled me off and kicked me. I grabbed his foot and jerked hard. He fell to the ground and banged his skull. Both of them ended up in the hospital. Branden’s mother sued us, but Branden made her drop the case. I had to leave school though, transfer to a new one. Of course I ended up with a reputation. People stayed away from me. I didn’t need them anyways. Then my dad got the new job and you guys know the rest.
I loved Branden. But he didn’t love me. The dark haired boy will love me. Things will be different this time. I know it.
Comments? Questions? Concerns? Suggestions? Do tell.
Chapter 4 https://b-paradeslash.livejournal.com/25505.html?view=comments#comments quinn allman branden steineckert -- rating: r quinn allma/branden steineckert movie....The Night Listener movie....The Night Listener curious public valiaclaire 7408232 1 https://b-paradeslash.livejournal.com/24409.html Tue, 07 Aug 2007 01:36:07 GMT Not Just A Fragrance By Calvin Klein (2) valiaclaire https://b-paradeslash.livejournal.com/24409.html\-Title: Not Just A Fragrance By Calvin Klein
-Author:
valiaclaire (moi)-Band/Pairing: Quinn/MCR fella..its obvious, don't worry.
-Chapter: 2/7?
-Rating: R
-Summary: I’m trying not to cross over the line, to let my love turn into obsession. Obsession isn’t pretty...and neither is stalking, but I am good at both and they say you should go with what you know, go with what you’re born to do....Oh so AU.
-Disclaimer: Not true, duh
1 - The Mall... Among Other Things
Chapter 2 - Friending The Locals
Date: April 30, 2006; 7:53 PM
Location: Living room
Mood: Frustarted
Subject: Nothing...
I haven’t seen him at all. School is going to start back up tomorrow, so that means no more searching for a while. I’ve been at the mall everyday in hopes of finding him or spotting him around. No dice. Maybe he has a life of some sort. He didn’t look more than about 19 or 20, so maybe he has a job or he’s in school. Whatever the case, I guess I’ve lost him somehow. It bothers me a lot. I want to see him again...badly.
Date: May 2, 2006; 8:14 PM
Location: on my bed
Mood: Thoughtful
Subject: Dreams.
I only saw him once and I barely spoke to him at all, but still I can’t get him out of my head and I’ve dreamt about him twice. It was the same dream both times. I’m at the mall in the food court, just sitting and sipping on a soda when I feel someone’s hands on my shoulders. I look up and see him standing over me, a grin on his thin lips and his hair falling in front of his face. I reach my hand up and brush away his hair. As I do so, he grabs my hand and holds it to his lips, kissing my fingers gently. I smile and he says in this low voice, If only it wouldn’t rain, my love, if only it wouldn’t rain. I frown at him and his smile only gets wider. Then all of a sudden he’s gone and I’m alone standing outside of a large brown house with white shudders and its just pouring rain. I hear police sirens in the distance and see flashing lights but I’m just frozen to my spot. Then the dream stops. What do you suppose that means?
Date: May 4, 2006; 5:30 PM
Location: home, duh
Mood: Clever
Subject: Friending the locals.
I literally crashed into the cashier at school today. He was in the middle of talking to this tall, thin boy with Buddy Holly glasses and medium length brownish hair. I had put my head down for a second to check and see if I really had lunch at 8th period today (they changed my schedule again, because they all hate me. Damn them! Conspiracy! *rolls eyes*) and then I just walked into him. He’s smaller than me (and he’s smaller than the pale dark haired boy, and the tall thin boy he was talking to), but still I’m the one who ended up on the floor, books flying everywhere. He fucking laughed at me, so of course I felt like an idiot. I even apologized to him as I got up. He just nodded at me and I started picking up my books.
You’ve got a tight ass, said the cashier boy as I bent down to get my Geometry book.
I rolled my eyes, Go fuck yourself in the locker room.
I will, but without you there to help me along, it just won’t be the same, said the cashier boy, licking his lips and looking me up and down, I’m Frank, by the way.
If it weren’t for the fact that he made the black haired boy laugh the other day, I would have said something insulting about his cock size or punched him in the mouth, but I didn’t. He could be useful to me and pissing him off wouldn’t help me get my way. So I nodded my head and introduced myself.
I’m Quinn, I said and he nodded.
And I’m Mikey, said the thin boy, holding out his hand for me to shake it.
This was the first time I had gotten a proper look at him or paid him any mind. There was just something about him that I couldn’t put my finger on, something familiar. Whatever it was, it held me frozen long enough for Frank make a remark.
Hmm, love at first sight maybe? hinted Frank obnoxiously.
Oh come on, Frank, you don’t even know if he’s gay, answered Mikey simply, withdrawing his hand and looking at me warily.
I am gay, I said, causing Frank to stick his tongue out childishly at Mikey and go on about how his gaydar never lies. I ignored him and continued to talk to Mikey, But you just reminded me of someone, thats all. I was trying to figure out who. Sorry if I seemed weird then.
Oh, its okay, was all Mikey said, but he still looked at me oddly, I don’t have a single idea why though. I spent my lunch period with those two, because apparently they had it at the same time as me. I introduced myself more and told them where I was from. Then we started talking about our interests. We all like the same kind of music basically, though Mikey’s tastes are more “European.” He thinks that he might have been born British in his last life because he’s just obsessed with their music, especially Radiohead, The Smiths, and Muse. Frank’s more into the Jersey scene, loving bands like the Misfits and Thursday. He’s also a huge fan of the Bouncing Souls. They aren’t my thing, but good for him. Oh, and Frank apparently doesn’t even think I have a tight ass. He just says it to all guys to either freak them out or turn them on....so he says. He didn’t know if I was gay. He just wanted to get a reaction out of me. Then he randomly told me that he was bi and that Mikey was bi-curious (Mikey then looked at Frank wide-eyed and I assumed he thought that his friend had said too much, but Frank was unphased by this). I told him it was okay and offered him some more of my fries, which he declined. Mikey, however, took my fries and basically inhaled them. When we weren’t talking about music and they weren’t pressing me about life in Utah, Mikey was gushing about his brother, Gerard.
He’s 20 and a very talented artist.
I’ll believe that when I see it, kid. I mean, I hardly know about art, but I know its easy for people to get by these days with mediocre work and be called “talented.” Whatever though, I could care less about Mikey’s brother. He could find a cure for cancer or go on a killing rampage and he still wouldn’t matter to me. All that matters to me is the black haired boy and the fact that Frank seems to know him. Of course I acted concerned about this Gerard though and asked about what he was doing with this “talent,” cause its always good to humor children like little Mikey-kins. Ha. So I listened as Mikey told me how Gerard went to art school and how he was just about to transfer to a prestigious art school in NYC at the end of May. He’s going to have his summer semester focused mostly on drawing and cartooning and blah, blah, blah. Whatever. I oohed and ahhed and managed to get myself invited to Gerard’s going away party on the 20th. I told Mikey that I’d think about it and ask my mom, which in my language means, NO, I’M NOT GOING TO BE CAUGHT DEAD AT YOUR BROTHER’S LAME AS FUCK GOING AWAY PARTY. Mikey doesn’t know that however, so he smiled brightly as if I had actually said yes and then made his way to his 9th period class and Frank did the same after he casually mentioned that he would be at the party. I nodded and watched them walk away, then sat there for a few seconds. Frank looked back at me once before disappearing out of the lunch room. He’s making this all too easy for me. Manipulating him to get to the black haired boy will hardly be a problem if he keeps throwing himself at me. You know, he invited me over to his house tomorrow after school to play video games with him and Mikey. Do you think the black haired boy will show up there? ....no. I didn’t think so either, but I figured it wouldn’t hurt to hope.
I sound so desperate. But I’m not. I’m nowhere near desperate. Its just that when I have my mind set on something, its all or nothing. I’ll do it all and I won’t settle for nothing. I will not settle.
Watch Frank not know the black haired boy personally. That really would be my luck...and then all this would be a complete waste of time.
Thoughts?
Chapter 3 https://b-paradeslash.livejournal.com/24409.html?view=comments#comments quinn allman -- rating: r anxious public valiaclaire 7408232 2 https://b-paradeslash.livejournal.com/23612.html Thu, 02 Aug 2007 04:44:33 GMT Not Just A Fragrance By Calvin Klein (1) valiaclaire https://b-paradeslash.livejournal.com/23612.html\-Title: Not Just A Fragrance By Calvin Klein
-Author:
valiaclaire (moi)-Band/Pairing: Quinn/MCR fella..its obvious, don't worry.
-Chapter: 1/7?
-Rating: R
-Summary: I’m trying not to cross over the line, to let my love turn into obsession. Obsession isn’t pretty...and neither is stalking, but I am good at both and they say you should go with what you know, go with what you’re born to do....Oh so AU.
-Disclaimer: Not true, duh
-Author's Notes: So I started this in '06, posted it in
sexagons_r_betr and mychemicalslash and got up to the 5th chapter and then became writers' blocked for nearly a year. I only just finished chapter 6 a couple of days ago and posted it in those comms, which is weird cause no one knows what the hell is going on and it seems really random. So I figured I'd start it from the begining here. So I'm gonna post a chapter every couple of days and then when I eventually get caught up here, I'll hopefully have the last chapter finished for all the comms. Enjoy. Comment.Chapter 1 - The Mall... Among Other Things
Date: March 27, 2006; 9:13 PM
Location: The new room in the new home in the new state using a new laptop to make a new LJ account.
Mood: Annoyed
Subject: Nu Joisey
So this is New Jersey....what is there to say about it? Malls, movies, dirty beaches, one “skate park” in Elizabeth, diners, oddly (read that as poorly and dangerously) made streets, horrible drivers on those streets.... theft robbery, drug dealing, blaring music nearly 24/7. I wonder if all the cities are like this or just Belleville? I have not the slightest idea why my parents would even think about moving here...No, I’m lying, I do have some idea:
Its so small and quaint! Look at the house we’re going to be moving into! Its a close-knit community. They’re going to be just as nice and friendly as the people here in Orem, trust me, sweetie. You will love it. This move won’t just help out your father, but it’ll help all of us, you, me, your sister....Quinny dear, you’ll make new friends and you’ll be accepted for who you are. Spending the last two years of high school there will be a dream. I promise. Don’t worry about it.
The stellar words of my mother there. *sigh* Its not like I had many friends in Utah, but I don’t need them anyway. I seem shy and quiet, but I’m not. I was too much for them to take back there, it’ll be the same here too. This move wasn’t just because of the relocation of my father’s job, it was because they had had enough of me over there, I’m sure...Yeah, its all about me, lol. No, I’m not that narcissistic that I would think everything is my fault and that I cause the world to spin round. But its true, they couldn’t take me over there. They aren’t the most accepting of folks back there, not by a long shot. And the kids...they’re just dying for an excuse to cause trouble and pick a fight. I kiss one boy (okay...not just one boy, teehee) and I’m their favorite target. I might as well have painted a giant bullseye on my shirt. I doubt there will be much difference here, but I can get by. I can more than defend myself...and thats why they couldn’t handle me over there. And I was supposed to be the weak one, ha...*sigh* Memories of yesterday may seem to ebb but never fade and should I have but one regret, its that I had to runaway, against my will but all the same. Oooh, poet. Go me.
Date: April 26, 2006; 7:51 PM
Location: In the living room
Mood: Hungry
Subject: The mall...among other things
I was walking through the mall, doing my usual Spring Break rounds: Barnes and Noble, then Coconuts, then Suncoast, then Hot Topic. I was at Hot Topic, just in the middle of deciding between the new TBS album and the new Thursday album, when I saw him. He was examining the latest action figures, his eye particularly set on the armor plated fellow from Full Metal Alchemist. He had pale white skin and his brow was furrowed in concentration, as if it were such a crucial decision. To buy a dolly or not to buy a dolly! Oh how his life must have been on the line! Ha. *sigh* He looked older than me, but I was taller than him by about an inch or two, I wasn’t so close to him. I didn’t dare move from behind the cds. Are you kidding me? I can hardly face myself, let alone face someone as fascinating as him. Because yes, he did fascinate me and rightly so. He was something...a work of art maybe. The way he moved around the store, all of his actions...fluid and calm. The way his long black hair kept falling into his face, then him brushing it back with careful, steady fingers. He had no real purpose there, nothing he desperately needed (he had decided against the “action figure”), so he just wandered aimlessly. I’d never moved from my spot, I only pretended to not look at him. At one point he was right next to me, searching through cds, touching the very same TBS album I had just been touching (I had decided on Thursday, it was a dollar less) then sucking his teeth when he saw there were no more Thursday albums. He saw that I had the last one in my hand. He looked me in the eyes....and I nearly forgot how to breathe. All he did was smile, but his dark..... hazel eyes were studying me as if trying to read whether or not I’d really buy the cd, whether or not he could manage to sweet talk me out of it. I guess my own dark brown eyes showed my strong will because he stopped searching, and let out a quiet sigh. I gave him a tiny smile and I was rewarded with the first and only words I’d ever heard passing from his between his pink little lips.
Pardon me, he had said, motioning with his hands that he wanted to pass behind me.
All I did was blink. Like an idiot.
What? Huh? came out of me..... Like an idiot.
He smiled again, flashing little sharp teeth, like some sort of vampire, Can I get past?
Oh yeah, sorry, I grinned before scrunching myself against cd racks and letting him go behind me, not brushing against me once.
I watched him as he went up to the cash register with the TBS cd I hadn’t chosen, still hearing his voice ringing in my hears. So polite. He had an odd voice, but it was obvious he was from around here. I wish I could have engaged him somehow, said something witty. The cashier just made him laugh. The cashier... some stupid boy I’ve seen around my school, a lip ring and a nose ring, a trendy emo haircut complete with a long pseudo hawk, and a too tight jr high school tee shirt. Crying out for attention. Its boys like him that make it hard for the rest of us, but all the black haired boy did was leave after his purchase, not giving the cashier....or me...another look. I actually exhaled and started shaking a little after he had gone. Who is he? What is he all about? I have to see him again. I have to somehow....Maybe he goes to that mall often and maybe he knows the cashier. I don’t have school for the rest of the week. Would it be too much if I were here everyday? Would anyone notice? Would he come back? I have to know. I have to see him. I have to.
Comments of any kind?
Chapter 2 https://b-paradeslash.livejournal.com/23612.html?view=comments#comments quinn allman -- rating: r My sis singing John Mayer at me My sis singing John Mayer at me giddy public valiaclaire 7408232 1 https://b-paradeslash.livejournal.com/20815.html Sat, 07 Jul 2007 02:37:38 GMT .Wouldn't It Be Great If We Were Dead. howxixdisappear https://b-paradeslash.livejournal.com/20815.htmlTitle: .Wouldn't It Be Great If We Were Dead.
Author:
howxixdisappearPairing: Frank Iero and Gerard Way;; Mikey Way.
Prompt: 95; disappear
Word Count: 1467
Rating: R
Summary: Frank has allowed himself to stop living. Frank lays in bed all day, tightly clinging to Gerard's pillow (it still smells like coffee and the strawberry shampoo Gerard constantly used) and drinking. He only leaves his bed to get more beer. He doesn't care if he pisses himself. He doesn't care that he's starting to gain weight, or that he has enough facial hair to make a toupee if he were to shave it off...
Author's Notes: I've had this idea for a story for about a week, but never really did anything about it until now. This is probably the hardest thing I've ever had to write, mainly because I hate the idea of Gerard dying and MCR ending. That thought kills me. But I really am happy with how this turned out. Comments = love. Con crit is desperatly wanted. <3<3<3
"Dead just like my Gee-baby" https://b-paradeslash.livejournal.com/20815.html?view=comments#comments --- fake cut public howxixdisappear 10780343 0 https://b-paradeslash.livejournal.com/17669.html Wed, 18 Apr 2007 23:22:27 GMT Hungry Eyes part 2 shadow_hive https://b-paradeslash.livejournal.com/17669.htmlHungry Eyes
Pairing: Ray/Bob
Rating: NC-17
POV: Third
Notes: AU
Dedication;
antontobias86Part 1
It took twenty minutes for the car to arrive at it's destination. Ray was used to such journey's, so he spent the trip split between gazing out of the window and scanning over the driver. He was quite attractive and from his clear muscles, Ray assumed that he was a top and a strong one at that. He could tell that he was a person that got what he wanted and he almost certainly got off on having complete control over another person. He made mental notes to prepare to be bound and whipped, or worse. You could never tell exactly how kinky a guy was until he inserted a ten inch dildo up your ass after clamping and weighting your nipples.
His home was, at least from the outside, was a fairly normal looking house. But he knew never to judge places or people completely by just what was on the surface. Once the car pulled into the driveway the other man spoke for the first time since he'd entered the car. "Get out." Ray nodded slightly, some of his curls falling into his eyes as he did so, before undoing his seat belt and opening the door, stepping out into the cold night air. By the time he slammed the door shut, he was out too, circling the car to where I stood slowly. "Follow me slut." Ray did as he was told, following him to his front door which was quickly unlocked, then shut again once they were inside. As soon as it the door was closed he spoke again, one of his strong hands trailing over Ray's back. "You may call me Sir, Master or Master Bryar."
"Yes sir." Ray couldn't help but let out a soft purr at his touch, knowing that his assumptions about this 'Master Bryar' being a dom had turned out to be completely accurate as he followed him into the spacious living room. The room was completely tidy, the exact opposite of his own home. A large screen plasma Tv was hung on one wall, in front of a large leather sofa which was easily big enough to fit five people. The walls were blood red, possibly purposefully, and the carpet was a strange black and red patten. Several cabinets were beside where the Tv hung, clearly for dvds and possibly videos too. At least, that's what Ray speculated. Anything could really be shut behind the black wood panels.
"Good slut... now, take off your whore clothes." Master Bryar was now seated on the leather couch, reclining back as he unzipped his flies to free his large cock. Ray found it hard to tear his eyes away from the organ long enough to pull his tube top over his head. Being a whore he seen a lot of cock, but the one in front of him was the biggest he'd seen personally. In fact, he'd figured dicks of that size were only restricted to porn films. As he dropped the top to one side, Bryar finally removed his sunglasses, revealling a pair of crystal blue eyes. Ray'd never seen eyes so blue and they made his new Master even more attractive to him. As he pushed the small skirt down his legs he made a note to put extra effort in to pleasing him, so as to ensure he'd gain another regular. The fishnets fell to the floor next and he found himself swaying his hips as he stepped out of them along with his heeled shoes. His own cock was throbbing and erect, but he tried not to think about it. In all likelyhood, Master Bryar would soon slip a cock ring on it anyway to make sure he didn't cum until he was allowed to do so. Sometimes that wasn't at all.
He slowly turned around, raising his arms high into the air as he did so, knowing that most guys wanted to get a full view first time. Once his back was facing him, he reached behind him, grabbing his ass cheeks and pulling them apart so that he could see his well-used but still tight hole before he turned back to face him. "Do I please you Sir?" As he said those words he parted his lips and circled his tongue over them.
"Mmm you do." His voice was almost a soft purr as he spoke, his bare chest now on display as well as his cock. He must have taken his top off while he was showing off his body. Ray's eyes scanned over his torso noting how that, while it was muscular it was also slightly tubby, as well his left nipple which had a silver ring adorning it. In short Master Bryar was beautiful to Ray, almost as attractive as the Ways were although Bryar was in a completely different Way to them. Ray wouldn't mind being on his knees pleasing him forever. His next words disturbed him from his thoughts and bought him back to the here and now. "What are your rates?"
For a few moments he struggled to remember the figures that he'd assigned himself. Normally they were easy for him to remember, but Bryar made him flustered to the point of forgetting everything entirely. After almost a minute of thought Ray closed his eyes and composed himself, letting the numbers flow from his lips as easily as they always did. "$20 for a hand job, 35forablowjob,35 for a blow job, 35forablowjob,40 for a clear rim job, 45foradirtyone,45 for a dirty one, 45foradirtyone,50 for sex, 60forfisting..."hebithislowerlip,skippingoversomeofthem.MostlytheonesheleftoutwereonesthatinvolvedclientsdoingthingstoRayandBryardidn′tlooklikethesortofguythatwouldbeinterestedinanyofthem."Ifyou′dlikemeforthenighttodoallofthoseit′s60 for fisting..." he bit his lower lip, skipping over some of them. Mostly the ones he left out were ones that involved clients doing things to Ray and Bryar didn't look like the sort of guy that would be interested in any of them. "If you'd like me for the night to do all of those it's 60forfisting..."hebithislowerlip,skippingoversomeofthem.MostlytheonesheleftoutwereonesthatinvolvedclientsdoingthingstoRayandBryardidn′tlooklikethesortofguythatwouldbeinterestedinanyofthem."Ifyou′dlikemeforthenighttodoallofthoseit′s200, $300 with extra kinky stuff." He paused for breath before speaking again, deciding to add clarification that always seemed to be required. "Extra kinky stuff is anything that hasn't been included in that list."
Bryar seemed to consider for a moment, before leaning forward slightly. "What are you willing to do?"
"Whatever you wish sir." Ray then decided to add a short list of thinks that he'd had done to him in the past, although he could easily hve spent over an hour detailing everything that he'd endured and come to enjoy. "Drink your piss, be suspended from the celing, be beaten until I'm covered from head to toe in bruises, whatever you want Sir."
He chuckled slightly, then laid back, lifting his hips up into the air so he could push his jeans down his legs. "Then that's the one I want."
"Of course Sir." Ray smiles and nods, his eyes back on Bryar's crotch, now gazing at his large, hairy sacs that hung beneath his impressive length. "What would you like first Sir?"
"Get those big, sexy lips of yours around my hard-on now!" Ray nodded, eagerly descending to his knees and shuffling towards him. Never in his career had he been so eager to have a guy shoot their load down his throat. As soon as he was between Bryar's spread legs he extended his tongue, swiping it over the soft, slightly wet head of his erection. His hazel eyes were locked on his crotch as he slowly slide his lips down over the head and along the shaft. After almost a minute, his thick, hard erection was fully in his mouth, my nose pressed up against his belly. He gazed up at him as he slowly pulled back, pressing his tongue against his underside as he moved. When just the head was in his mouth he circled his tongue around the sensative flesh then over his slit before swallowing his length again. The moans from above and the hand in his curly hair pushing him down a clear sign that he was doing a good job. He bought both his hand up, running one of his stomach and using the other to stroke his thigh and to thumb his full balls. Of course, that only made him moan louder and make his fingers tangle and pull on his locks. "So good whore..." Those three little words only served to make Ray's own cock harder and cause him to tighten his lips. He focussed on sucking him rather then his own needs, something which he'd become very good at doing during the fast few years. If he concentrated on giving the other guy pleasure, by twirling his tongue or tightening the right musles then it would take his mind off his own aching length. His thick fingers tugged on the ring through Bryar's nipple, as the other cupped and squeezed his balls gently. As soon as his balls retracted up, he prepared himself and, sure enough, moments later, his orgasm came. With a low groan he arched his hips, holding onto Ray's head as his cock spurted his thick, salty cream down Ray's throat. He closed his eyes as he swallowed, savouring the taste of his seed. Although all cum was salty every guy tasted different. Ray'd always compared the taste of cum to snowflakes: no two guys were the same, just like snowflakes.
After the last spurt, Bryar fell back onto the leather sofa, panting softly, his hands falling out of Ray's fro. Of course, Ray knew better then to move until he was told otherwise, so he continued to suckle on the softening length. It wasn't until on of his hands pushed Ray back that he stopped sucking and sat back on his knees, a smile covering the blue-eyed man's face. "That was so good whore, but you can stop now. Later you can drink from there again."
"Yes Master Bryar, thank you Sir." Ray smiled back up at him, moving his hands so they were by his sides.
"I hope your ass is as good as your pretty mouth." Bryar trailed his tongue over his lips as he rested his head back again, keeping his eyes on Ray all the time, his gaze falling on his hardness. "And I'll be sure to once I'm hard again.... in the mean time, lay back and wack yourself off." https://b-paradeslash.livejournal.com/17669.html?view=comments#comments ray toro/bob bryar bob bryar -- rating: nc-17 ray toro Fall Out Bou - Dance, Dance Fall Out Bou - Dance, Dance recumbent public shadow_hive 1977966 0 https://b-paradeslash.livejournal.com/17490.html Sun, 15 Apr 2007 03:20:15 GMT kellysaysrawrrx https://b-paradeslash.livejournal.com/17490.htmlTitle: Happy Birthday
Author: Kelly,
kellysaysrawrrxPairing: Mikey & Frankie [also Bert & Gerard and Quinn & Jepha]
Rating: PG-13??
Dedication: Laurenn. Who else would I dedicate anything to? Nobody. Cause, really, she just pwns you all.
Frank watches Mikey as he plays with his little Polly Pocket people, a small smile on his face. Mikey lies there peacefully for a minute, his lips moving silently as he makes the miniature people talk to each other, until he realizes something extremely distressing. “Frankie!” he screams, making his best friend jump.
“What?!”
“Gregg has no arms!” Mikey squeals, sitting up and shoving ‘Gregg’ in front Frank’s face.
Frank blinks, puzzled for a second, and then he smirks. “Awwh, poor Gregg,” he teases.
Mikey pouts, seriously upset. “Poor Gregg. I’m going to have to bury him now. Rachel will be so upset.”
“Is Rachel his little girlfriend?” Frank asks, playing along.
Mikey nods, seemingly really upset. “They were gonna get married. She’s gonna cry forever.”
Ten minutes later, Mikey is still upset. Frank frowns, it’s not normal for Mikey to be this upset over one of his toys. “Mikey, what’s up?” he asks, sitting down next to him.
Mikey looks up at him, and then shrugs. “You’ll laugh at me.”
“Promise I won’t.”
The older boy sighs and fiddles with his hands. “I want everything to be how it should be. Like, I want Gerard and Bert to stop arguing, and admit that they’re in love with each other. I want Quinn to stop pretending he’s straight and tell Jeph that he likes him back. I want… the guy I like… to like me.” Frank opens his mouth to say something but Mikey carries on. “I want… you know how in all those TV shows, all the friends always have a great time, and they’re always doing something fun. I want that. Like… I want us to all do that. It’s stupid but I imagine it in my head. We’re all on the beach, sitting around a fire. Gerard and Bert, Quinn and Jeph, Me and… that guy I like. And you, of course.”
Frank smiles and wraps his arms around Mikey. “Who knew you were so sentimental?”
As soon as Frank leaves Mikey’s house, he starts thinking up ways to get Gerard and Bert together. Because he decided that he’s gonna give Mikey what he wants for his birthday.
*****
“Gee, what you upto? No, you wanna come out? Great. Meet me at the park in a minute, yeah? Okay, bye!”
“Bert? Yeah, it’s me. Meet me at the park now. What do you mean why? No! I do NOT want to fuck your brains out on the roundabout! Just be there.” Frank groans as he hangs up, thinking that this may not be as easy as he thought it would.
Frank and Gerard are sitting on the swings for at least ten minutes before Bert shows up, and when he does, Gerard scowls and jumps up. “No!” Frank exclaims, grabbing his arm and pulling him over to where Bert has stopped, glaring over at the approaching boys.
“Why is HE here?” Bert mutters sullenly.
“Fuck you, he invited me,” Gerard spits.
“Stop it!” Frank shouts and they both shut up and turn to him, surprised. “Please you guys, nobody knows what you guys are arguing about, but you have to make up! Can’t you guys see that you’re made for each other? Just admit it, you two are in love!”
Gerard blushes and Bert chokes. “You’re fucking insane!” Gerard replies, not sounding quite as confident as he would have liked to.
“I’m not in love with that asshole,” Bert scowls, not quite as viciously as he would have liked.
Frank looks between the two of them and shakes his head. “You both know it. Everyone knows it. Please, just admit it to yourselves?” Neither of them look convinced, so Frank turns to Gerard. “It upsets Mikey that you guys won’t stop fighting. He wishes you guys would get together.” Gerard’s face softens, the mention of his brother enough to make him think. He would do anything for Mikey. Frank nods at them and walks off, hoping that in about ten minutes he’ll get a phone call from the couple.
Sure enough, he gets the phone call exactly ten minutes later, and he smirks to himself when he hangs up. One couple down, two to go.
*****
Frank arrives at Jeph’s house later that day to find him sitting out in his front garden, playing a game on his phone. “Hey dude,” he grins, sitting down next to him.
“Hey,” Jeph replies distractedly, not looking up from his phone.
“Quit that, we’re going to Quinn’s.”
Jeph thinks for a minute, then smiles. “Sure thing.”
It only takes them five minutes to get to Quinn’s house, and Frank knocks on the door, telling Jeph to wait outside for a minute while he speaks to Quinn. Jeph looks confused but agrees.
Quinn answers the door, smiling when he sees Frank, then looks at Jeph and blushes, dropping his gaze. “Inside. I need to talk to you,” Frank says, pushing Quinn back into the house and shutting the door.
“Uh, hi?” Quinn says unsurely.
“What the hell is wrong with you?” Frank asks.
“What?!”
”Why the hell do you pretend you’re straight?! It’s not like anybody is gonna hate you for it! You hang out with a bunch of queers for fuck’s sake!” Quinn goes to reply but he stops when he sees Franks face. “You like Jeph. Jeph likes you. Just get over the fact that you’re gay already!”
He then turns around and walks back to Jeph. “Uhm, are we going?” Jeph asks.
“Nope. Get in there and kiss him.”
“What?! I can’t do that! Don’t you think things are awkward enough as they are? Dude, I’m going home.” Jeph shakes his head and turns around.
“What the hell is wrong with everyone?! I said get in there and kiss him!”
Jeph has enough sense to know that when Frank starts getting annoyed, he better do what he’s told, so he reluctantly walks into the house. Frank nods, satisfied that everything is going to plan, and leaves, walking back to his house, to think about how to put the last part of his plan into action.
*****
Around eleven, Frank rings Quinn, Jeph, Gerard and Bert and tells them to be at the beach by ten to midnight. He then rings up Mikey. “Mikey,” he whispers.
“Hey Frankie! Why are you whispering?”
“I… I don’t wanna talk very loud. Can you please meet me?” Frank replies, sniffing.
“What… Frank, are you crying?!”
“Mikey… just meet me at the beach at midnight, please?” Frank asks, hanging up before Mikey can reply, knowing that Mikey will be there.
*****
Frank meets the two new couples at the beach at the time he said, and tells them what the plan is. When he checks his watch, he realizes Mikey should be there any second, so he tells them to go sit down while he goes to meet Mikey.
“Frank! What’s wrong?!” Mikey asks as soon as he spots Frank sitting on a rock.
Frank turns around and smiles nervously up at his best friend. “Not much,” he replies, shrugging. “Happy eighteenth birthday…”
Mikey stares at him, bewildered. “Weren’t you crying on the phone? You asked me to come out here so you could say happy birthday to me?”
Frank takes a deep breath and stands up. “No, I have a present for you.” He takes Mikey by the hand and walks towards where the other guys are sitting, but stopping just before they come into sight. “Just round there is Gerard and Bert, and Quinn and Jeph. I got Gerard and Bert to realize they’re in love. I got Quinn to admit he’s gay and he likes Jeph.”
Mikey smiles, a hint of sadness showing. “That’s great Frankie.”
“Yeah. But, I wasn’t sure who this guy you like is. So I just had to guess,” Frank tells him. Mikey’s face falls slightly, absolutely sure that whoever Frank thought it was, wouldn’t be the right guy.
Mikey leans to the side, trying to see who’s sitting with his brother and friends. “Who is it then?” he asks, turning back to the younger boy.
Frank shoves his hands into his pockets, looks down at the sand and clears his throat, forcing himself to complete the plan. “Me.” Frank then moves forward, leaning up and brushing his lips against Mikey’s, before pulling away and watching him apprehensively.
Mikey doesn’t say anything for a second and Frank silently curses himself for getting everything so wrong. “Thank you,” Mikey eventually says, and Frank looks up at him. “This is an amazing birthday present Frankie,” he smiles as he pulls Frank into another kiss.
When Mikey pulls away, Frank grins up at him. “That’s not the whole thing,” he tells him, pulling him round the corner to reveal Gerard and Bert sitting together, holding hands, and Quinn leaning against Jeph happily.
Once again Mikey thanks Frank, the smile on his face growing. “But I still expect a present you actually paid for,” he teases as they join their friends. https://b-paradeslash.livejournal.com/17490.html?view=comments#comments mikey way quinn allman gerard way/bert mccracken gerard way mikey way/frank iero quinn allman/jepha howard -- rating: pg-13 jepha howard frank iero bert mccracken Love Today - Mika Love Today - Mika accomplished public kellysaysrawrrx 11668082 2 https://b-paradeslash.livejournal.com/17205.html Tue, 10 Apr 2007 02:26:23 GMT Losing Face, K+ byakuya_chan https://b-paradeslash.livejournal.com/17205.htmlTitle: Losing Face
Author: Moi.
byakuya_chanPairing: GerardxFrank all the way.
Rating: K+ for implications of possible-sex.
Disclaimer: I own nada. Not any songs referenced herein, or MCR, or whatever.
Notes: 3rd person.
Is it true what they say
You won’t give it away
And I don’t know what to do
To get next to you
Next to you
“Couldn’t he shut that damn music off?!” Ray hollers loudly, attempting to raise his voice a few million decibels just to be heard. Of course, he goes unnoticed as Gerard’s voice rings through, attempting to blend in with—that one dude’s, the one from that one band? Uh, what was his name…Josh something-or-other from Buckapple or something—that coarse, sexy voice, and failing miserably.
It’s a wonder that Gerard’s in such a good mood, though: it’s the day before his birthday. The big 3-0. Old and decrepit. Canes, walkers, ‘over-the-hill’ signs and such. Oh, and did I mention he forgot to take his anti-depressants, too? Yeah, that’s quite vital.
“I’d try to, but I have a feeling his ears are bleeding right now!” Frank shouts back, ignoring the muffled laughter from Mikey whom is tickling Bob out of pure boredom. The song changes to ‘Everything’ for a few seconds of quiet, then is reversed back to the sex-obsessed song again, and Gerard’s still-young voice comes out again.
Ray snarls. What a short temper!
“Fine, fine.” Iero says as he rests the de-fizzed beer on the rickety table, and attempts to hop off his chair, but unfortunately, as his stupidity shows in a matter of seconds, jumping out of a chair while your feet are still on the table is a very moronic idea.
He crashes.
No one notices.
He scowls.
“I’m goin’ after him.”
“Don’t go deaf.” Mikey calls from the other room, and Bob agrees with a disgruntled…grunt, if it makes any sense. Frank respond with a ‘mmf’ and shoves himself off the dust-covered hardwood—they really need to clean sometime soon—as dignified as he can. He huffs a puff, and marches off to his ears’ doom.
ooooooo
“GERARD!” Frank screeches through the open doorway as loudly as possible, to hopefully garner the attention of said Way.
Doesn’t work.
Gee just goes on yelling his vocal chords raw.
“Gerard, you’re not as young as you used to be!” His arms flail about for no reason at all, “You could easily kill your throat, you idiot!” Unfortunately, in the heat of the moment, Frank had forgotten a vital clue:
Gerard hates to be called ‘old’.
He is automatically shoved against the wall as the door slams beside him, and finally comes face-to-face with the man.
Gerard’s make-up is smeared and his eyeliner is running down in black lines, like some bad gothic-rip off. His hands are quite shaky—not shaky when he was going through withdrawal, all those years ago, but shaky in terror—and his short, silken black hair is an absolute mess.
Gerard’s having a breakdown.
Frank swallows; Gee was always best left alone in these times, unless one was suicidal, but Frank is cornered between Gerard and the wall, and there’s no way out. So, he splutters timidly, “Gee?” His voice cracks a pitch at the end, but it, as well, goes unnoticed.
“Gerard?”
And suddenly Gerard’s clinging to Frank as if he were his lifeforce, and Frank simply stands there. Not moving, not asking, but just allowing Gerard to go through this stage.
“Frank…”
“Yeah?”
“Would you let me kiss you?”
“Yeah…” They kiss so often the stage, so what difference is it on the bus?
“Would you let me hold you?”
“Yes…” Isn’t he alreadyattached to Frank's hip?
“Would you…”
“What?”
“Would you let me make love to you?”
Ah, of course. Their age-old question, in the form of actual words: just what were they? Could they be anything more than just an occasional kiss on the stage?
Frank swallows.
Gerard pleads.
“Frank, you know how it’s said. It’s in an artist’s nature to want everything, and you’re part of that everything, goddamnit, and I’ve waited all these fucking years and I probably only have--” His rambling is cut-off by Frank finally closing in on those lips, clutching at him with chapped and equally shaky hands.
“Gee, it’s your birthday. We’ll just start from there, alright?”
Gee just nods.
Loosing her grace; starts to cry
I feel her pain when I look in her eyes
I wanna be; I want everything,
I want everything https://b-paradeslash.livejournal.com/17205.html?view=comments#comments gerard way/frank iero -- rating: g gerard way frank iero Deteriorate - Demon Hunter Deteriorate - Demon Hunter rushed public byakuya_chan 9424289 3 https://b-paradeslash.livejournal.com/16736.html Sun, 01 Apr 2007 20:43:02 GMT oxygen_losers https://b-paradeslash.livejournal.com/16736.htmlTitle: A Fortune For Your Disaster. (1/?)
Author: oxygen_losers
Featuring: Gerard and Frank
Rating: PG-13, currently
Summary: Frank never felt guilty about Gerard. Never spared him much thought. Except this, this Gerard with the bruise-dark eyes and the unhinged grin, it means maybe Frank fucked with the wrong person.
I Doubt That The Doctors Are Wrong https://b-paradeslash.livejournal.com/16736.html?view=comments#comments --- fake cut public oxygen_losers 9167504 0 https://b-paradeslash.livejournal.com/16442.html Fri, 30 Mar 2007 03:57:47 GMT Hospitals and bording schools part 2 bannana_girl17 https://b-paradeslash.livejournal.com/16442.htmlParing: Frank and Gerard
Rating: pg-14 (swearing) rating could go up
Summery: frank gets out of the hospital and gets put into another bording school, but this one is far from like the rest.
disclaimer: i don't own any of the characters and this never happened
author: me!!!
Doc's POV
I sat there and observed Frank for some time before actually answering him. His father wants to keep him here for the fact that he wants us to make him as he says ungay, and Franks monther on the other hand what us to cure him of any thoughts of selfharm and drungs and other things along those lines. "Well Frank the thing is your father and mother have made it very clear that they have not been satisfied with the your previous results from your previous visites and quite frankly Frank i do not want to have you back here again." I said this all very strenly hopeing that it would sink in, but he just stared at me has if he hadn't heard a word i said.
Frank's POV
had he just told me that my parents were disapionted with me, man and i thought it was all an act that they put on (sarcasium). oh well i gues it'll be off to another bording school. the only answer i gave the doc was a sigh. "well Frank it seems to me like you have improved alot over the last 3 months, I figur you can go home today you dad said that he would be comming to get you around three. So that way you say goodbye and atend school today has well." man this doc was wack all my dad was gonna do was take me home tell me pack up my shitt and then dump me at a fucking bording school (an all straight bording school probably) "sooooo.... does that mean i can go now doc? cuz i'd realy like to get packing i mean it is liek two already and schools at 2:30 and i wanna pack before school" i was trying to be as polite has possible seeing as i was still pissed about the fucking chair whcich i might add if he wasn't my doc i would have mutalated his chair by now but i'd rather not stay here any longer.
...................at three o'clock....................
Still Frank's POV
Sigh, he's late, he's always late. here i am sitting in a fucking waiting room in a fucking hospital being observed but a fucking dinosar. of course he comes know 20 mins late. "What the fuck took you so long?? huh?? to busy fucking your secretary to remember to pick up you own son at the fucking hospital.." i knew i was totally askign for it but hey i ws pissed and he just happend to be late by 20 fucking minuets. "For your information boy, I got stuck in traffic" man did he ever sound pissed oh well not my problem is it. "well what fucked up shit hole of a bording school are you sending me to now? " I was honestly courious to know i mean wouldn't you wanna know what your fate was? We were now at the car and my dad seriously looked like he wanted nothing more then to hit or worse which i don't even wanna think about "its a chatholic school, all boys and very stricked so no funny buissness, or I swear to I'll lock you up in the loony bin for good" wow was that a threat did my dad just threaten me? hmmm ohwell if he thinks that a little threat like will keep me from dating he's got another thing comming.
</div>
https://b-paradeslash.livejournal.com/16442.html?view=comments#comments -- rating: pg-13 gerard way/frank iero gerard way frank iero Waiting- Green Day Waiting- Green Day public bannana_girl17 10779855 0 https://b-paradeslash.livejournal.com/16176.html Thu, 29 Mar 2007 18:42:02 GMT hospitals and bording schools bannana_girl17 https://b-paradeslash.livejournal.com/16176.htmlParing: Frank and Gerard
Rating: pg-14 (swearing) rating could go up
Summery: frank gets out of the hospital and gets put into another bording school, but this one is far from like the rest.
disclamer: i don't own any of the characters and this never happened
author: me!!!
Frank POV
Hospitals are so overrated everyone thinks if you go there you'll get better and son, well I'm living proof that, that isn't true. I've been in and out of this fucked up place for ages all because my parents think that locking me up in the nut house will "cure" me. i mean come on the doctors are crazier then me.
"Mr. Iero, it's time for the group session." Mrs. Ritts (I swear she's gotta be almost 100 years old. I just rolled my eyes at her. I hate going to group all I do is sit in the corner and stare out the window. If I wanted to listen to peoples problems i could've stayed at home, but i know that there is no way Fitts here was gonna let me skip group so i just followed her to the room anyway.
After group I had to get revaluated by the doc and if I'm good and answer all his questions I'll get to go home, or more specificly I'll get stuck in another bording school where I'll be most likely be branded the emo kid before the end of the first day. God my life sucks, why am I still here? oh yea mom. Dad could care less about me I swear he'd rather have me killed then admit to anyone that his only son is gay.
Ok so here I am sitting in the fucking docs office and i really want to bitch at him for fucking still on a fucking cow. "Mr. Iero..." I've decided that for teh first two mineuts I'm going to pretend that I don't hear the fat bulding fuck on the cow, I'm really pissed with the fact that he's sitting on a leather chair, but i guess that comes from me being a vegetarian. "Frank...?" Ok so two mineuts is up, I think I'll talk now. "Yeah doc what's up?"</div> https://b-paradeslash.livejournal.com/16176.html?view=comments#comments -- rating: pg-13 gerard way/frank iero gerard way frank iero cancer- My Chemical Romance cancer- My Chemical Romance bouncy public bannana_girl17 10779855 2