Stray Daydreams, Scattered Minutiae (original) (raw)

Posted on 2006.10.29 at 23:02

Things have been so quiet around here lately. Not that I want the sort of

sex

excitement we had a few months ago, thank you. Still the place could use a bit of fun. It's times like these that I really miss Data. He had a way of making me laugh and helping me keep in touch with my inner child.
*looks out portal*
Wherever you are Data, I hope your thinking of us and trying to find a way back home.

Ships Gossip

Posted on 2006.07.09 at 10:33

My friend Pavel, a brooding Russian with a penchant for philosophizing, recently asked me what I thought my friends say to each other when I'm not around?

That's an easy question.
My friends and the entire crew, are asking each other if Jean Luc and I are sleeping together, in the biblical sense.
I know we add fuel to the gossip mill with our late night socials, I suffer with insomnia and Jean Luc is the only one who can help me relax. (ahem) Then there's the dinners in Jean Luc's quarters and the fact that we have breakfast together every morning giving the appearance of intimacy.
Well all I'll say on the subject is that It's none of anyone's business what (or who) the Captain and I do on our own time.
That should keep tongues wagging for a while longer;)

What I dislike about myself

Posted on 2006.07.04 at 14:52

My temper and sharp tongue have gotten me into more trouble than I care to admit.
When I was younger and even during my Academy days, my penchant for a quick retort kept people at a distance. Even Jean Luc has felt the lash of my temper from time to time. The "arguments" we have had over the Prime Directive are legend aboard the Enterprise.

Deanna thinks I've mellowed a bit thanks to Jean Luc's influence. That man's diplomatic skills are extraordinary. I think it has to do with his unlimited patience, some of which has finally rubbed off on me. Don't get me wrong, my staff still clears sick bay when I'm on a tear, but nobody has requested a transfer in ages.

When I met Jack Crusher I fell in love with his sense of humor and easy going nature. It was a gentle comfortable love that fit into the orderly life I wanted. We had a good solid relationship and I felt settled, content.
I was totally unprepared for the emotional tidal wave that hit me when I met Jean Luc Picard.

From the moment I heard that deep sensual voice I was drawn like a moth to a flame. Never had I felt such an immediate physical and emotional attraction to a man, not even Jack. It exhilarated and frightened me all at once. As time went on we developed a comfortable friendship but always that undercurrent of sexual desire persisted. Even years after Jack's death, when I realized that my initial physical reaction had blossomed into a deep and abiding love, my fear kept me from moving forward.

Now, 25 years later, I find myself finally ready to admit my love for this wonderful man. No more running, no more fear.

I've lost my son. He's left to join the Traveler, taking him on a journey that I can never be a part of. I'm torn between feeling devastated and happy that he has finally found his true destiny. Jean Luc has been a rock, keeping me from burying my feelings in my work until I'm emotionally numb.
I had him laughing last night during dinner when, in my usual dramatic fashion, I enacted a scenario where I try to explain to friends and colleagues where Wesley is now. Oh he's off traveling, no not exactly in this universe. He moves through other planes of existence now. No I haven't been drinking!

The other day I found a picture of Wesley, myself and Jean Luc taken at LaBarre, Jean Luc's home in france. Wesley is smiling and proudly holding up a a huge trout. Jean Luc and I are behind him, arms around each other and I am reminded that Jean Luc has been a part of my son's life longer that Jack was. Like a splash of cold water, it hits me that I'm not the only one dealing with the loss of a son.

What A Day

Posted on 2006.01.17 at 22:48
Current Mood: dreamy

What a glorious day. It's so good to get off the ship for awhile. Jean Luc and I went out to the desert to look at the Tolarian ruins and they were breathtaking. Then we had a lovely dinner right by the waterfall. Afterward we danced and before I knew it we were

To Sleep Perchance To Dream

Posted on 2005.02.17 at 18:42
Current Mood: horny

Had another one of those dreams last night.

I'm in the shower shampooing my hair, my eyes are shut when I feel cool air hit my body as the shower door opens. I know it's Jean Luc even though I can't see him. He stands behind me and wraps his arms around me, pressing me closer. He doesn't say anything just starts moving his hands along my body, now slick with soap. I inhale sharply at the contact, I feel vulnerable but very aroused. His mouth is on my neck and his breath is warm, sensuous, his hands become more demanding. Of course thats when the damn computer tells me its time to get up.

And my staff wonders why I'm so cranky today.

Posted on 2005.02.02 at 17:13

Maybe I should change my hair color. I wonder if Jean Luc would like <> to do<>me as a blonde? He was involved with a blonde once sometime befor he took command of the Stargazer, what was her name. Philadelphia, Philomena.....Phillipa yeah that was it. She was kind of short and stocky if I remember and very obvious about her intentions. She was his date for one of those stuffy Starfleet functions. The way she kept ducking under the table under the guise of picking up her napkin, pleeeese.

No, I think I'll just stick to my natural color, It sets off my eyes and JL has never complained.

Posted on 2005.01.31 at 18:44
Current Mood: aggravated

Oh, what a day. If I have to tell another Ensign that safe sex implies more than just their birth control implant. The things these "children" get into. *That reminds me of the time at the Academy Cadet Thompson and I.......* Yes, Alyssa what is it? More "accidents"? He put it where!!!? Things are too slow on this ship. Where are the Romulans when you need them?

I'm hoping to meet up with Deanna sometime later. It will be good to talk to her. She mentioned something about chocolate.

Ok, what have we got here ensign? Alyssa will you hand me those forceps? This is going to be a long night. *sigh*

Introspective musings

Posted on 2005.01.30 at 21:03
Current Mood: thoughtful

Why do I always do this to myself? I over analyze everything. No wonder I can't commit myself to Jean Luc. Aliens, no problem, anaphasic life forms, perfect, no fuss no muss, but the real thing, God it's just soo hard. Then there's his little diversions.

What does he see in Vash anyway? Oh sure she's cute, in a bird like way, but a little rough stuff would probably break her in two. Although she sure beats Nella Darren. That women was a horse. I bet she never got to ride on top. Jean Luc certainly does have varied taste in women. When I think of the girls he brought to Jack and my apartment, well he has his needs...

Posted on 2004.02.26 at 13:00
Current Mood: freaked the fuck out
Current Music: 'Oedipus Rex' - Tom Lehrer

I'm never hacking into _vash_'s computer again. Freaky incestuous quizmasters. That's not funny.

Which "Star Trek: The Next Generation" character would you marry? by penguin_pajamas
Username
Your spouse	Wesley Crusher
Cost of wedding	$161
People in attendence	6
Where your first child would be concieved	On Picard's desk...and you got caught and reprimanded
Your future together	Ever seen "Independence Day?"
Created with quill18's MemeGen 2.0!

Posted on 2004.01.22 at 11:24

::comms _deannatroi_::

Counselor, have you been breeding again?

::whispers:: and what the hell have you done to Geordi? The last I heard he was off to your appointment, now he's gone completely barking...

Hear this _vash_? Stay out of my way...

Posted on 2003.12.20 at 19:27
Current Mood: cranky

Note to self.

Posted on 2003.11.24 at 14:44
Current Mood: scared
Current Music: Pounding of heart

Beverly Howard Crusher, you are forbidden to screw this up. Ever think Jean-Luc might actually *like* you?

Posted on 2003.10.14 at 17:42
Current Mood: predatory

Now I'm not saying I want another migraine-inducing time travel adventure with that...*woman*, Vash. But it would be nice to have someone to do around here. *Something*, I meant *something* to do. Damn those Freudian slips, where's Deanna when I need her? Or, more accurately, with whom...Totally unrelated to that, I wonder what the Captain's up to. Haven't seen him for morning tea ever since I tried to run those tests on him in sickbay...

::wanders off, humming innocently::

I feel...strange.

Posted on 2003.09.25 at 14:38
Current Mood: contemplative

Looking back on my trip to jonathan_archer's time, I have to wonder what came over me. I finally heard about the some of the things I did while I was...unaware. ::flush:: The PIF must affect one's inhibitions somehow, too.

Well. I don't regret that time with Jean-Luc. It was wonderful. And if _vash_ thinks she's going to chase me off, she had better know that I can be extremely patient. I've had to be. It takes Jean-Luc forever sometimes before he decides to take the plunge. But the longer it takes, the more likely it is to remain a stable relationship, I hope. I just have to decide if it's worth the emotional upheaval involved. He could easily...well. Relationships that don't work out usually don't end on a clean break. Maybe I'm at the point where I don't agree with the old saying, 'tis better to have loved and lost, than to have never have loved at all.'

I don't regret my time with Jack, however. I have my memories, and Wesley. I miss him, although I would never try to hold him back from his destiny. I just wish I would hear from him every now and again. A mother always worries about her child. It seems like everybody always ends up leaving me. If I were superstitious, I'd start to think I was cursed or something.

Posted on 2003.09.11 at 17:25
Current Mood: confused

::wakes up::

Where am I? ::gasps:: This...this isn't my quarters! And, this isn't my Sickbay! It's so

primitive

quaint. I need to find someone and ask them what the hell I'm doing here!

::leaves Sickbay::

Posted on 2003.09.02 at 16:39
Current Mood: contemplative

Hmm. I wonder if he'll ask to see the person who is supposed to be his child... Of course I'll want to "test" him first. Oh my yes...