Heartbreak (original) (raw)

Life is so crazy sometimes, one minute you're happy and the next you aren’t.

I was in a very stressful relationship for 2 years up until about 5 days ago. He and I were complete opposites. I am a very rule abiding person. I'm not the type of normal teenager (19) who likes to sneak out and do whatever the hell they feel like. I am the type to stay home and watch movies or go out to eat with friends. I really hate putting myself in any position to get into trouble. Aaron on the other hand thrives off of the adrenaline I think.
In the past year he has gotten into so much. Fired from work, kicked out of school, kicked out of his parents house, moved into a friend’s house (who was an even worse influence), and kicked out of there and eventually moving in with me and my family. I've been through all of this and more with him. And no matter what happens to him he refuses to change the one thing that has been the main cause of all of these problems, drugs.

Now while it wasn’t anything more serious than pot, and pills occasionally, it has still been the root of every problem. I have begged him to stop and he tells me that he has and I always find out he is lying to me. Often he ditches me for his so called "friends". I finally just got so unbelievably stressed and worn thin from it that I broke up with him. It was one of the hardest things I have ever done. He was so much to me, my first serious love. My first lover, my first person I could see myself with. He was also my best friend. A dork who loved to play video games and when we were together he was great to me, always sweet and goofy.

I feel like a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders. But at the same time I feel like a huge part of me is gone. And while one part of me knows it is good for me the other part just wants to call him and take him back.

I don't know how I am supposed to do this...