the ending (original) (raw)

I just got out of a three year relationship with someone. I was prepared and ready to move to another state for this person. We've been through so much together. My mom had brain surgery and he was no where, but when his brother died from cancer, I did everything I could for him. I think it's good that I severed his idea that I would move because we have been really bad at communicating for so long, but at the same time I needed some time. I knew we weren't functioning at all. I knew that we totally didn't work, but I still wanted to believe in what we had. I took a few weeks...I know it was selfish, but I felt like I had to... and when I talked to him again, he of course said all of the things I've been dying to hear for the last three years. He still didn't have anything to show me though. He didn't have proof that he meant what he said or that he'd really gotten what I was trying to tell him. He then got angry at me because I was hesitant and leary. His reactions have been defensiveness and anger.. both of which I don't respond well to. So, last Saturday, I finally did stop everything. I told him I couldn't and/or wouldn't do this anymore. I haven't heard from him since. I'm really concerned about him because he's gone through his share of difficult life events this year, but at the same time, I know I can't be the one who comforts him or comes to his rescue again. His usual past response when I've said something he didn't want to hear was...get mad, not talk to me for a a few days, and then my phone would ring off the hook. I keep waiting for the fallout. I keep trying to muster all of the resolve I have everyday and he doesn't email, call, or show up. It's not typical. I guess he may really get that I meant it. I just don't know.

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