capslock_thomas (original) (raw)

06 September 2009 @ 01:54 pm

06 September 2009 @ 03:34 am

okay guys, i'm going to bed now.

IT WAS FUN, TTYL

06 September 2009 @ 01:46 am

sup, faggots. i'm bored as ballsacks. why am i posting here? because i can. now suck my dick. thanks.

i can't make tags here. i was going to tag this "enjoy your aids" but i see this comm has a tag monarchy. whatever.

10 December 2008 @ 10:57 pm

09 December 2008 @ 12:20 am

Jessica was a very bad girl. She tried to contain it for years, but it was finally coming out. She couldn't stop the shit-eating grin from forming as she shoved the third stray cat into the ATM machine in front of her grandfather's grocery store, the bucket underneath filling more with blood. As a vampire, she would have preferred humans, but they didn't fit as well inside the broken slot (she tried, with limited success), so for this extracurricular activity, cats would have to do.

"Ahem" Jessica heard from behind. She turned around, crouching on the sidewalk, arms covered in blood, only to see Christian Bale!

"Hello...... would you like to join me? I remember that movie, you had so much fun with stuff like this...." Jessica hissed, her succubus tendencies leaking through.

"Uh, no, that was just a character. Listen, are you done yet? I need some cash for-" and that's when Jessica pounced upon him, raped him, and feasted upon his blood as she came.

Looking up, she noticed the clouds quickly blowing away with the wind, and her skin glittered like a thousand suns. Everyone around her screamed "OH GOD, I'VE GONE BLIND" and Jessica went around blinding people, raping them, eating them, and stealing their TVs and stereos until she got bored.

08 December 2008 @ 11:47 pm

Darth Vader sat in his chair, and stared into space. He was bored. Melanie walked up behind him, and awkwardly hugged him.

"Hey Vader, can we have an orgy tonight?" Mel asked while playing with his mask.
"If you would like to, Melanie."

So somehow Vader got Simon Amstell and Dr. Crane on his ship and into the huge master bedroom. Vader began to undo Melanie's pants using the force, while Simon and Crane each played with one of her tits. Melanie beckoned Darth Vader to come closer, but he shook his head and sat back in a chair, stroking his huge cock. Simon and Crane began to tag-team her, giving her orgasm after orgasm. Occasionally, Mel could tell Darth couldn't help himself and was using the force to pleasure her simultaneously, and then she came a huge final time at the same time as all three of the men.

08 December 2008 @ 11:59 pm

PART ONE
Once upon a time Sabrina was standing around London. It was a deserted street, and lightly drizzling. Sabrina heard a crash, and when she turned she saw a freaky-ass telephone booth appear out of no where. Not only that, but it was blue instead of red, which is fucking weird. An attractive man came out, and looked around a bit before spotting Sabrina

"Hello. I'm the doctor. You are extremely attractive."

"Oh, why thank you. Likewise."

It suddenly began to pour buckets, and the doctor and Sabrina were soaked to the bone.

"You seem to be getting wet. Come stand in the TARDIS so you don't catch a cold." Sabrina was disappointed that he continued his sentence, because she was pretty antsy to get things sexual.

"Okay. But since we're already soaked, we should probably take our clothes off."

"RIGHT. Let's do that."

So Sabrina and the doctor took off their clothes, and in the close quarters of the TARDIS, they couldn't help but rub up against each other in naughty ways. (Well, they probably could if they wanted to, but of course they didn't.) The naughty rubbing of course led to naughtier things involving the doctor's dick in and around Sabrina's mouth, the doctor learning a multitude of things for the next annual Vagina week, and later taking Sabrina's virginity. They moaned and groaned and moved into every sexual position possible within the small confines of the TARDIS. After their extended hours of lovemaking, they curled up on the floor and cuddled like puppies, sharing body warmth as the icy rain fell outside.

Sabrina woke up in the early morning light on the sidewalk, her clothes in a soppy pile next to her. She quickly tried to put on her soaking wet clothes, but we all know how hard of a feat that is. Sabrina fell over multiple times, skinned her knee, and fell into a dogwalker when trying to put on her shoe.

THE END

JK PART TWO
It was a few weeks after her affair with the doctor. Sabrina had gotten back into her usual routine, but it seemed far more mundane than before. Sabrina sighed and began washing the dishes. She longed for the doctor as she laid in bed every night, even standing at the sink she swore she could feel his arms around her.

She looked down, and noticed the arms around her waist.

"Holy fuck!" she screamed, and turned around, accidentally smashing the doctor in the face with the clean-but-wet plate before dropping it onto the ground.

"I wasn't expecting that kind of response," the doctor said, rubbing his head. A bruise was already starting to form.

"Oh my god, I'm so sorry!" Sabrina sat him down at the kitchen counter, and tended to his wound. "So, um, have you come to swipe me off my feet?"

"....actually, yes. So you'll come with me then?" Sabrina nodded meekly, before sweetly lifting herself on tiptoes to kiss him.

"Fantastic!" the doctor shouted after she pulled away. Not able to wait, the doctor fucked Sabrina right there by the kitchen sink before bringing her into the TARDIS to live her life with him.

"Hold on, I've got to do something." The doctor went out the kitchen door to the street. Sabrina looked out the window, and saw the dog walker from the other time she met the doctor. The doctor went right up, kicked the dog, and ran back into the TARDIS before activating it.

He kissed Sabrina on the forehead. "I'm sorry I left you there with the dog. I know how much you hate them."

"It's okay," Sabrina said as she nuzzled into his chest. "I forgive you."

THE END.

09 December 2008 @ 03:00 am

Once upon a time Rina was like, sitting at the park thinking about how much she hated dog walkers. Just then her lover man The Doctor showed up in the TARDIS. He shot all the dog walkers in the area with a laser and they evaporated into nothing.

"Omg, thank you. I really hate those jerks!" Sabrina exclaimed.

"Yes, I know," the Doctor said, cracking his knuckles, ".....I know everything. You know everything?"

"Yeah. I like it," Sabrina said, bending down to pick up a quarter she dropped on purpose to give him an "accidental" panty flash.

The Doctor groaned and came in his pants but tried not to let anyone notice. He rushed Rina quickly to the TARDIS so he could change his knickers.They transcended time and space until reaching a galaxy far, far away where Mel was blending Mac products together like a scientist but a lot hotter.

"Shiiiiiiiit bitch, you are so hot," Darth Vader groaned out as she painted her nails. He began to mouthbreathe.

"Omg stop that, you sound like a nasty troll," Mel said.

"Sorry," Vader said, clearing his throat to breathe like a normal human being.

"Thank you. Now you're hawt again!!" Mel threw herself onto his awkward and block-like body like a slut needing cash and they both had amazing intergalactic sex and both came at the same time like three times in a row. They are both very skilled at fuckin' real nice.

During their "intermission" the Doctor and Rina showed up just as Mel was trying on Vader's cape for some kind of roleplay or some shit, idek.

"Looks like we're right on time!" the Doctor exclaimed, grinning to himself proudly for not coming in his pants early again. Rina stumbled around the Death Star with her 7-inch hooker boots toward the vulgar scene in front of her....

TO BE CONTINUED

08 December 2008 @ 11:54 pm

OMG I WANT TO BUY YOU GUYS THEM, WHAT DO YOU THINK?! Y/N?!?!?!?!?!?

Current Mood: apathetic

Current Music: NASTY SHIT MUTHAFUCKAS

20 August 2008 @ 10:58 am

WE GOTTA TAKE SOME BITCHES OUT. WHAT THE FUCK.

WE GOTTA MAKE A NEW COMM, LAY LOW FOR A WHILE, THEN FUCK SHIT UP. I WANT TO KILL LJ.