The Hardest Part (two parts) (original) (raw)

Rating: G
Characters: Rukia, Ichigo
Word Count: 469
Summary/Storyline: Rukia's time in the Shrine of Penitence and Ichigo's time fighting Soul Society to save her.

The hardest part for Rukia is not knowing. It’s waiting for something to happen, and it’s subsequently dreading that something to happen. The millionth something thronged Rukia’s mind so severely that she needed an escape, but no one could give her that. No one could give her escape from this room in the Shrine of Penitence, and no one could still the thoughts her mind has been capable of constructing.

The hardest part for Rukia is a mind numbing knowledge that runs down her bones, that sears her heart. It’s knowing something so strongly that it leaves after-effects that don’t just vanish as thought swishes to thought, as memory to a different memory, as memories break down and reach a core of a million somethings she has already thought of, and she can’t understand it, no, she can’t fathom it, this knowledge so deep that she can’t even reach it.

The hardest part for Rukia is not knowing, not wanting to know, what she already knows. It’s what she fears because she knows he can’t reach her; she wants him to forget her and live. It wasn’t his fault. It can’t’ve been because he didn’t really know either.

She knows this, that he can’t save her.

She doesn’t believe it, though, because she knows him too well.

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The hardest part for Ichigo is not knowing. It’s being pulled into situations such as these that completely eat at his will to go on, tearing piece by piece his will to live; and at the same time, it’s the lack of knowledge he has inhabited in comparison to his enemies. It’s the lack of knowing he can’t possibly catch up that fast.

The hardest part for Ichigo is a mind numbing knowledge that runs down his bones, that sears at his heart. He knows he has got to save Rukia, has got to get to her, because if he doesn’t, no one will. He’s determined to save her because he owes it to her. He won’t let her die. He can’t let her die.

The hardest part for Ichigo is not knowing what he knows deep inside. It’s there somewhere inside of him, but as he fights, as he loses and subsequently gains retrieval of the upper hand… as he dredges up powerful memories that aid his fighting, he constantly is learning. He doesn’t know what he’s capable of, and if he wants to found out, he must be void of fear.

He knows this, that he’s learning as he’s fighting, that his enemies are merely using what they already know, that his powers will never catch up, that he might die.

He doesn’t believe it, though, because he has a stronger will (than Kenpachi’s love of fighting) on his side.