What am I? (original) (raw)
Wed, Jun. 16th, 2010, 10:34 am
neverhadarose: New, a bit confused, very lost.
Hello, i joined this communtiy, and thought i should introduce myself. My name is Never had a rose but you can call me Holly. I have been awakening for about a year now but still don't know what i am. I feel phantom wings and have seen them a couple times meditating. They are big, black, feathered wings. I remember having long, long blond hair and stunning green eyes. I remember a white, skinny dress with skinny straps. I don't know what all of this means but i have been reading up on Lucifer lately and whenever i read about him i get a pit in my stomach. I would really love some help on this.
Thank you.
Holly.
P.S i don't know if this matters for anything but my power animal is a bear.
Wed, Jun. 9th, 2010, 06:19 pm
I have known my whole life that I was a wolf therian, and pagan... I have always felt something else but never knew what it was. Iv'e always felt something else there.. and had weird dreams and foresight but recently so much has started to change everything feels differnt. I'm feeling even more connected to everything around me, the energy I am feeling is almost over whelming and blinding. I am having mood swings from hell and strage re occuring dreams. I know what I am feeling down to my inner core and heart. Iv'e always had weird visions and dreams but never completly listened to them until now. Growing up Iv'e always had a passion connection intrest in all things mystical, elements, crystals, minerals, Elven, Ireland, Scotland, nature, The outdoors, Healing, etc. Foresight- which Iv'e always had to deal with, seeing things in my dreams that come true, feeling things that come true, I'm a bit empathic. I guess Iv'e always somewhat had an idea about my nature and who I am ,but never fully awakened and now that I am it's somewhat scary yet exciting all at the same time. I can feel and see things Iv'e never known before and my mood swings haven't been the greatest especially sense on top of all this life has been very stressful. if anyone can give me some advice on how to deal with my elven awakening I'd be forever greatful. i know there are typos here, but I don't feel like fixing them. Forgive me. Thank you.
-Rose
Tue, Dec. 9th, 2008, 10:26 am
krystalraven: FaeKitty present
I made a post here not long ago, well last week sometime about being confused about what I am. I think I figured it out and I think I knew all along but was maybe afraid to admit it for some reason. I can be a bit insecure about some things. However
andphobosblinks replied to my last post and asked me a series of questions. Putting all the answers together has definitely made me realize that I knew what I am all along.
FaeKitty. I have identified with that title for awhile now. The Fae part of me is definitely stronger than the cat part but both are present. I'm not going to retype everything I just put into a response to andphobosblinks 's comment but if you want to read it, you can go back to my most recent post in this community and check it out.
So I must say thanks for asking me the questions and that it's very obvious to me now what I am. And I'm grateful to know. Labels aren't important to me but...it IS nice to know what you are =-P
Thu, Dec. 4th, 2008, 04:02 pm
Hey there, I'm new here. Just joined this community.
I thought I'd introduce myself. My name's Raven although lately I've been drawn to the name Amethyst, yes like the crystal. I am not sure what I am. I've been drawn to the furry community for awhile and have always had an affinity for cats and feel they are definitely part of my being as my behavior mimics them and it just seems to 'fit'.
However I don't feel that's the only thing I am. I feel that some aspect or part of me is Fae. I can't pinpoint what specific type, I'm not even sure that's what I am. What I know is that I love flowers, forests, anything and everything nature and outdoors (which goes for pretty much every one here I think except one or two). I love shiney things (I love using glitter in my art projects), plants and crystals are very special to me.
I've been obsessed with the Fae and learning everything I can about them for as long as I can remember. Some of the things I read about them resonate very well with me and I find they apply to me. However I'm still not positive this is what I am. The title 'faekitty' seems very accurate for me. I love playtime and am curious about everything. I love gardening and growing pretty green things, especially flowers. And I love playing games and little tricks.
I think like several others here I'm just confused. I used identify just as a tiger bu that didn't seem to fit very well. Then I remembered my boyfriend telling me he was a tiger/dragon and it led me back to this community (which I had first stumbled upon years ago but never thought it applied to me until I really began meditating on the concept about a year ago).
You've heard of the concept of phantom limbs? People swear they can feel a leg or an arm where there isn't really one. Well this is how I know without a doubt that I have wings and a tail. i can feel them there. My ears irl are somewhat pointed though not noticably so unless you're looking for it but I feel that they should be.
This was just me introducing myself and trying to work some things out that have been bouncing around in my head for a few months now. I haven't said anything to anyone about this stuff until now because I wasn't sure how to word things or anything like that.
Any and all feedback (except the negative sort) is welcomed. Please feel free to voice your thoughts and point me to anything that might help me on my quest to figure out what I am. Thank you in advance.
Sun, Nov. 30th, 2008, 06:21 am
rauldandrea: Maybe someone on here can help me in some way...
- I never fit-in in the 'us' (u.s.).
- I was always interested in more intelligent/constructive topics in growing up than those around me
- I'm more into a self-esteem model of what I can love or create than the far more common interests of sports, gossip, and slamming others "for fun and profit" that everyone else seems to have...
- I have always had a strong connection to housecats... I pretty much act like one. At one point I had an 8+ item list of similarities...
- A friend of mine I met at a UFO convention (I had/have a scientific interest in them) eventually dropped a word on me she felt I should look into... something called a "from elsewhere". This term was seen again by me researching 'otherkin'
- I am of this belief system that creating things consciously/intentionally is no different than reproduction by the normal means, and I love some design the way people would love other people...
- Some of the people I found to be like me in various important 'non-otherkin' ways later also turned out to be "furries".
So one theory is... "Am I from-elsewhere? Are cats also?"
I have read that some 'otherkin' are alien souls. Anyone who knows me knows I wasn't supposed to be -here-.
Thu, May. 8th, 2008, 09:34 am
Name:Mao NickNamez:Mackenzzye,Zye,Zoe,Chance,Max,RiverFoxx,River Height:5'1" HW:215 LW:57 CGW:100 LTGW:87 CW:135 Hair:shoulderblade lienth Hair Color:Blood Red eye color:bye eyed:right is jade greenleft is hoeny brown Race:Irish/Norse Main Breed:FloF&Herding Mutt Other Breeds:Vampiric Snow Pard. Relationship Statis:Singel and looking for long term. Yiff Statis:Dont Yiff SexualityStraight/Bi Currouss. Type of Relationship Looking for:Male Well thats it for now, feel free to AIm or what ever. Im Freindly and dont bite.... Yahoo:Wolffoxesbitch AOL:Loralyecoondog
Fri, Feb. 15th, 2008, 07:46 pm
I dont know how many of you use IRC, but there are two channels I wanted to mention that are of possible relevance to otherkin & therians. Both are on dal.net.
(1) is #dark_plains, which is a therian specific channel (I'm sorry, this is shameless self-promotion!)
(2) is #darkwaters, which is really just a catch-all otherkin channel that's usually busier
I *hope* it's okay that I put these here.
If it isn't, please please delete this post and I am sorry!!
**Senna, in Day 2 of a Shift**
Sat, Sep. 15th, 2007, 11:21 pm
stormy_passions: necessary introduction?
I would just like to introduce myself, or rather make my appearance known in this community.
I like reading, watching, and keeping trck of all otherkin ideas and thinking because I soehow feel an obligation to watch time and actions pass in this manner,
I am kin to any stormy weather, and I have an odd and powerful penchant for tarot cards that I need to strengthen I feel before I can learn. If you would like a longer and more detailed description please read my user info. I would like to gain as many friends as possible since I like to learn as much as I can about this boundless world. I really don't think there is a term or word for me, but if anyone has an idea, though, premontion, or other noun that symbolizes or signifies something of importance please tell me, cause like everyone else I'm in a race to learn as much about myself as I possibly can.
Thank you all for your time and the existance of this community.
-K.
Wed, Jun. 13th, 2007, 10:07 pm
wandering_faye: (no subject)
I've never told this story. I suppose it's not much of a story at all, but thoughts, confusion, frustration.
I don't know what I am, but I know something about whatever it is I am has hurt me. i've always had an affinity for nature, animals, plants, the earth, healing... call me a hippie, but I feel at peace outside or near living things. some would say I've had an easy life, but I feel like I'm not who people know me as. There's so much people don't know.
When I was a little girl, I remember one night when I was afraid. I was afraid, like something was trying to mislead me. As I look back, the night seems spiritual. I remember trying to resist some sort of bad whatever it was... I was in bed, trying to sleep, but I had woken up. I fell asleep sweaty and in tears.
Throuout my childhood, I felt a sense of depth my friends never seemed to see. I began writing. some of the things i wrote were not a child's words. Ther were not dark, not light, just deep and philosophical, but often pained.
In Jr high, one of my best friend's killed herself. It wasn't her death that struck me, but that I felt strange around her the week before. i was too busy grieving to see it as anything.
In highschool i dated a guy who was linked to some demonic stuff. It scared me. He was possessed by some type of animal demons.. it's like they would take over his body and he would be gone, like multiple personality disorder, but more frightening. I feel strange remembering too.. like I'm not supposed to.
Through highschool, I would go through times where I felt things hat never made sense. Often, it was anything painful. Sometimes I hurt so bad emotionally that i would go to the bathroom and sob so nobody would see me and what I felt. It wasn't depression.. I was sent to a shrink, and he kept saying I seemed fine. If I were fine, I wouldn't feel so overwhelmed by what I was bearing. It was like I was a ball of emotion. It wore on me physically, and I was diagnosed with a few chronic illnesses. I always wonder if I got 'sick' because of what I felt.
Often, when I felt all of these things, it was sudden, like a burst. Sometimes it wasn't as strong, sometimes it would lessen. I was hurt a few times when I ran to men for comfort and they took advantage f the fact that i was weak.
Is it wrong to want to sit next to someone's chair and nuzzle their leg, or have someone pet your head like they would an animal? Sometimes I think that's all I've ever wanted.. just to recieve nonsexual attention that makes me feel wanted. It doesn't even have to be from somone i'm 'in a relationship with..' The only way to put it is that I wish I were some housepet so it would be acceptible for me to just sit at everyones feet and be cuddled. Maybe I'm crazy.
In highschool, I met a clairscentient. She observed me without me knowing, but she and another person asked if i had ever heard of an empath. I had't. She explained that they can pick up on other people's emotions. I had never though of the possibility of doing so, but it began to make sense. when someone was upset or angry, I'd feel that way before they expressed themselves. I never realized that most people don't see emotions immediately, but I also was skeptical of the idea that I could do something like that.
One night, when my friend felt 'something in the room', she asked me if I was 'picking up on' anything. I gave her a short list. She said that it matched whatever she felt or something. I still was skeptical.
Then a friend of mine and i were talking. I started feeling a pain in my right shoulder, and she complained that she had a pain there without me even moving. Them my knee started itching. I didn't move. She itched her knee.
I visited a friend of a friend somewhat recently. They were into seeing spiritual forms or something... i'm not quite sure how it all works... but she said everyone has a spiritual form. she told me i was a faye, without knowing me well... I never really thought of it.
Still another night, another friend was trying to teach me how to practice 'shielding' techniques, like a psychological/spiritual sphere around oneself to protect oneself from negative things. she said it should be clear or white in my mind. i tried to envision clear or white, but the color green kept popping up. i addition to all of this, I've always felt like i should be someone's pet.. just be pet and have my head scratched and be cuddled. I've often sat at the feet of friends and clung to their legs if they were the cuddly type. Still, they were often a bit confused or wierded out.
This entire day, I have felt ill. I think it's just the crying and the stress. I have a job that is very physical, so it's been difficult going through the motions. It doesn't help that my boyfriend is far away for a few moths and has not been calling. I feel so alone. I've no friends here, no family... and I'm not sure what my heart is doing or why my mind keeps twirling. I'm so tired, I just want to crash, but if I sleep, everything will still be here. I feel so trapped. I don't know what to do.
I could try to combine all of these things somehow in my head to make inferences, but i don't want to just make something up to explain everything. I'm a bit of a mystic i suppose, but a follower of Christ, yet I feel like I'm in the middle of everything, connecting things. I feel like I'm contradicting.. innocent but mischivous.. dark but light... joyful yet tragic.... I feel like nothing really makes sense, and I'm confused.
Tonight I cried for want of breath. I feel useless somehow - I can't keep up with life if I always feel like all of my energy must be spent trying not to drown in the sea of confusion and negativity and pain I so often find myself in. I'm so tired.
Much of this I cvopied and pasted from yesterday's entries, but today.. today it is that much worse. I found myself asking why I'm even here if I am so easily overcome. I shouldn't hurt so much... I'm not depressed, I just hurt, mentally, physically, and spiritually. It's like I'm in a constant state of mourning and agony even when it doesn't make any sense. After a while, I just reach a point where I break down and cry. The tears are there, but it's like I have to let them all flow out to have room for myself. The tears don't feel like they do when I know I should be upset. They're more bitter and confused and deep. Everything is so deep...
If anyone has anything to say, any thoughts, suggestions, ideas, conclusions.... anything... please... I want my life back. I'm tired of being trapped in this nightmare.