My word is my bond (original) (raw)

This video hurt me to watch. It reminded me of how much I hate my situation. I shouldn't be sitting on my ass. I should be doing what I gave my word to do, possibly laying down my life in defense of what I love. I should be alongside these people, fighting for the cause for which we agreed to defend.

At this point in my life, all I have to give is my word. My word is my bond, my lifeblood, my heart. Having my word broken because of something out of my control breaks my heart. I am left feeling empty. Yes, there are people who say the fact that I gave my word to do this in the first place is enough. But not for me. I mean, how good is my word if all that counts is the intent?

Don't misread this. I hold myself to a code of honor, and I would lay down my life, without a second thought. It's just an issue that I feel as though I cheated my way out of my word. That's not the case, at all, but I can't help feeling that way.