Aquadisiac 1 (original) (raw)

Title: Aquadisiac 1
Author: Me!
Email: Miss_Incognito4@live.co.uk
Rating: NC-17
Category: Smallville/Angel crossover
Genre: Humour/Smut
Pairing: Cordelia Chase/Arthur Curry
Summary: A random kiss by a pretty brunette leads to romance, demon auctions, and ugly gray blobby thing
Disclaimer: I own nixies
Distribution: AO3, here, and wherever else accepts this type of weird ass fic!
Notes: Written for the Smallville Big Bang.

Arthur Curry sighed as he stared at the ocean, eyes focused on the white surf that ruffled the blue and grinned at the noise that came each time it touched the shore. Kids laughed gleefully, their arms high above their heads while they ran from the tide that chased them. He couldn't count the amount of buckets and spades, nor could he count the amount of sand castles built, but the sight did his heart a world of good.

He'd seen some horrors in his years and being able to witness such happy little people going about their little lives made those horrors worth it. Wasn't just the horrors of life that made him appreciate the sight, but the fact there were still some kids who saw good times when not sat in front of a games console or thought fun came from anything materialistic. Sure, he enjoyed a video game as well as the next guy, yet he got most of his joys from what Mother Earth gave.

AC's grin increased when he spotted some rather nice looking ladies wearing skimpy bits of nothing.

Ladies in bikinis were another thing he thanked the good Mother for.

Without the sun drenched beaches of Los Angeles, there would be no babes for him to appreciate. At the same, he wished those fine women fully understand the dangers of sun and UV rays. Nature was all good and well, but it was also something to be respected and just like everything and everyone, a person could be harmed through ignorance.

It was one thing he didn't understand.

How people, both men and women, could be led to believe what equated to beauty. Like a heavy tan or thin figures and plastic surgery. Perfect teeth didn't make a perfect smile, silicone didn't make perfect breasts, and Botox didn't make perfect anything. Botox was in fact botchalism and yes, it had excellent uses for those with severe disabilities, but for a beauty tool?

As far as he was concerned, those who thought that was beauty had never seen the night sky.

The voice of his buddy turned AC's attention from the beach and all its joys to the couple opposite him.

"I know I put it in here." Chloe Sullivan said, face half covered by a big straw hat and right arm half swallowed by her large purse.

"Here, lemme look."

AC hid his chuckle with a sip of beer as Oliver Queen began to pull stuff out of said purse and put them on the table.

Though he was used to Watchtower carrying her life in that purse of hers, it still never ceased to amaze just exactly how much she could pack in there. Cell phone, little laptop, handheld Pacman game, makeup and was that a packet of latex gloves?

"Found it!" Oliver stated with a triumphant expression and pulled out a bottle of sun block. "Lift your head."

AC sat back to watch Chloe do as told, then winced at the redness on her nose. It looked incredibly sore, even with the sun screen she'd applied throughout the day. Unfortunately for her, sun cream wouldn't do much good now that the burn had already set up camp.

He looked at the other girls. "Either of you got any aloe vera?"

Mia Deardon was the first one to check and the flash of sadness on the face of Victor Stone made his chest hurt for the poor guy.

Though Victor hadn't touched her as far as touching went, but he had been loosely holding her hand and the question gave her reason to quickly move from that hand holding. Knowing the robot as he did, it was only too obviously to see Vic's sadness was for what Mia had to do in order to survive, much like Vic himself, AC realised.

While only Ollie and Chloe knew what the girl's life consisted of before the League, the rest of them had their guesses. When Mia hadn't been there, they'd often discussed what they'd like too do to her father for his hand in her hellish upbringing. Of course, acting on those desires would make them no better than daddy dearest, but it was the thought that counted.

AC just wished Mia felt comfortable, both in herself and with Victor because if anyone could understand how much pain a touch could cause, it was the resident robot.

Hardly any of them knew what Vic had done between his rescue from 33.1 and his meeting Ollie. Cyborg never spoke of it and out of respect, they didn't ask. After all, a guy had to keep things private sometimes.

Still, that wasn't a reason why he couldn't give his buddy a helping hand.

AC caught Vic's eye and gave him silent encouragement, which was returned with a blush and averted gaze.

"I don't have any, Chlo. Sorry." Mia said apologetically.

Courtney was quick off the mark. "I have some Witch Hazel."

AC glanced once more at Chloe's nose and cringed. Yes, Witch Hazel was great for minor burns, but it was still an astringent and it'd sting like hell before it worked. Especially on a red raw nose. "I really wouldn't." He advised.

"I can go get some..." Mia offered and pushed her seat back, ready to stand.

Chloe waved the offer off. "Don't trouble yourself. My fault for not applying constantly. Twenty plus years and my expertise at dealing with sun burn isn't to write home about."

It only took a few seconds for AC too come up with a solution.

"Cucumbers." He said matter-of-fact. "If you can stand some gawking, I'm sure Moneybags there can splash out for a few slices of the green stuff." He grinned when Ollie rolled his eyes.

"Cucumbers?" Courtney asked, the bemused smile on her face identical to those of Mia and Chloe.

Mia, AC was pleased to see, had pulled her chair closer to Vic and while she wasn't holding hands again, her knuckles brushed the robot's. Oh yeah, those two were the next piece of gossip in the League.

"Yep!" Arthur grinned at their interest. "Cucumbers." Or potato skins, but those only worked after being cooked and to cook a potato purely for skin care needs was a total waste of food.

His grin increased when Victor and Ollie glared at him when the Ladies of the League gave him their complete attention.

When it came to helping the ladies out with skin care products that weren't laden with chemicals or tested on animals, then he was so the man.

"Think about it," he relaxed in his own seat and thoroughly enjoyed the female attention. "You go to any spa, anywhere in the world, for a facial and what's put on your eyes?"

All three women looked at each other, nodded, and turned back to him to simultaneously answer. "Cucumbers."

AC would have felt guilty about stealing them from their respective men, but he was the only single dude in the League. Ollie, Vic, and Clark he could understand getting the ladies, but Bart?

Sure, Bart was great as far as guys went, but for crissakes. He was worse than an annoying little brother who stole the last drop of milk and ate the last candy bar while gleefully boasting of his deeds.

Bart Allen having a chick while he didn't?

So wrong.

"Ollie, pass my laptop." Chloe ordered, too focused on more skin care info to mind her please and thank yous.

AC took another sip of his beer to hide his smirk when Ollie's glare promised retribution.

"You're a bad person." The billionaire huffed at AC as he got her laptop anyway and slipped it into her purse.

God, the archer was so pussy whipped, it was unreal.

Chloe beamed and pressed a kiss to Ollie's cheek. "You're a catch."

This time when AC caught Victor's eye, it was to express the sentiments at seeing the Green Arrow sit up straight and puff out his chest.

Oliver's expression was so different and so were his sentiments. "I wish someone would catch you."

AC couldn't help himself.

He looked morosely at his beer for a moment before he looked up at the three ladies. "So do I."

Courtney gasped while Chloe and Mia glanced at each other before they glanced back at him. "You're still single?"

AC sadly nodded. "Over a year now."

"But how?" Courtney asked. "You're so sweet. Isn't he sweet?"

Chloe and Mia nodded.

"And gorgeous." One said.

"You have good shoulders." Said the other.

AC hoped he wasn't left alone with Victor and Ollie for a good long time, but he still couldn't keep from loving the attention now lavished on him and so he perked up. "You think so?"

Chloe leaned over to rub his arm. "Of course we think so, don't we?"

Mia and Courtney dutifully nodded.

"If it wasn't for Bart..." Star Girl said.

"If it wasn't for Victor..." Mia added.

"If it wasn't for Ollie..." Chloe joined.

Yeah, okay.

If the girls didn't stop now, he'd be in tuna cans if the glares he received were anything to go by. Yet AC ignored the silent warnings and gave the gals one serious set of puppy dog eyes.

"You think I'll ever find a gal as great as you three?"

All women visibly melted at his words and he was suddenly surrounded by six arms and a straw hat, his cheeks kissed by six lips, and ears spoken to by three voices.

"Sure you will..."

"Of course..."

"I know it..."

They may have disentangled themselves from his person shortly after boosting his ego, but they moved their seats to be next to him and AC was quite happy to have the League Ladies fawning over him, even if it was just for a little while.

"Ollie's right." Victor grumped and stared hell at him. "You are a bad person."

The reaction was immediate.

"Victor Stone." Chloe stated in dismay and grabbed AC's hand. "Don't you listen to him."

"AC's not a bad person." Courtney's arms tightened around his shoulders while Arthur gave a subtle smirk to his buddies.

Mia simply glared at Vic, making the man all but shrivel up in terror.

"No, he's not a bad person." Victor forced the words out through a fake grin. "We're just being buddies, right?"

It took everything AC had not to yell out at the pain now shooting through his shin and he glared at the jackass cleverly disguised as a robot.

Damn, but Vic had a hard kick.

AC stiffened when his other shin got a similar kick from Ollie and he made a mental note to introduce both guys to Bonny, a tiger shark he met off the coast of Australia. He was sure Bonny would be more than happy to dole out some justice on his behalf.

"Right, Vic." Ollie happily agreed. "Just being buddies."

AC rapidly nodded and forced a laugh through the lingering pain. Maybe Bonny could dole out that justice with her teeth. "You know how us guys are. Always joking around..."

Chloe arched a brow as she looked at Ollie. "And kicking friends in the shin is joking around?"

AC smirked when the three women glared at one of his best friends. "I think the boys are a little jealous."

Again, Ollie and Victor played right in when they both shook their heads.

"I'm not jealous, are you?" Asked the billionaire of Cyborg.

"Not a chance."

Mia gave AC a little smile and despite the humour, he hoped she was going to do something that would help both herself and Vic.

She stood straight and put both hands on her hips and levelled Cyborg with a single arching of an eyebrow. "So you're not jealous that I'm hugging AC?"

Victor visibly squirmed. "Well, I..." He looked to Ollie for help.

"And you." Chloe jumped on the bandwagon and glared at Ollie. "You should be ashamed of yourself."

The billionaire slouched in his chair. "You're right. I'm sorry. I was wrong and won't do it again."

Victor was quick to follow. "I'm sorry. I was wrong and won't do it again."

Mia narrowed her eyes. "Do what again? Kick AC in the shin, get caught, be jealous or not be jealous?"

"All of the above?"

Silence followed Victor's hopeful answer and laughter followed the silence. AC got final hugs from the League Ladies before the sat down and he got grins of kudos from his best buddies.

No matter what they said or what childish names they called one another, they were pals and that was what pals did.

Ollie shook his head while he picked up his beer. "You're such an ass kiss, Fishstick."

"Not to mention attention seeker." Victor chuckled, then blushed when Mia reached for his hand.

"But he's a hunky ass kissing attention seeker." Courtney grinned.

AC beamed at the praise. "Don't let the Bartman hear you say that. I'll never hear the end of it."

Everyone laughed and toasted Impulse, who was somewhere between Mexico and Antarctica, and on the hunt for something or other. No doubt that something was a present for his lady love and no doubt he’d turn up at the most awkward moment.

AC laughed, then shook his head. "Seriously, guys. What do I have to do to find a woman?"

"You've really been single for over a year?" Ollie asked, the surprise in his voice unmistakable.

He nodded and finished his beer. "You know why Trudy left me."

Victor almost choked on his drink. "Are you serious?"

Again, AC nodded. "Yep."

Victor let out a low whistle. "Man, you have my sympathies."

Mia smirked. "And that's coming from you with your heritage."

Chloe and Courtney sniggered.

"My heritage?" Victor parroted.

"Once you have black, you never go back." Mia replied and daintily sipped her beer, the meaning instantly known by all.

Laughter was only drowned out by Victor's embarrassed sputterings and stammerings.

"No... I'm not... I swear... I'm not... Leave me alone!"

The ache AC earlier felt for Vic eased when Mia leaned her head on the guy's shoulder. "You're so cute when you're embarrassed."

"Yeah?"

AC saw the happiness on the faces of Chloe and Oliver when Mia curled her arm around Victor's.

"You're cute all the time."

Chloe and Oliver might be looked at as the couple for guidance, to know how to deal with their lives in the League, but Vic and Mia were the ones to look up too when it came to issues outside of the League.

AC momentarily glanced towards the ocean to give the newest couple a bit of privacy. Mia had all just said Victor was hers and hers for the keeping. When one took into account what they'd both through, they deserved a little time, even it was only a few moments in the company of friends.

He didn't return his attention until the kissing noises stopped and when he did, he saw Chloe and Ollie at it.

In the hope of finding an ally, he was disappointed to see Star Girl seeing stars as she looked at Vic and Mia before sighing. A second later, she looked at Chloe and Oliver, then sighed again.

AC rolled his eyes even as he chuckled.

Poor girl didn't know which couple to gush over and he almost, almost, felt guilty at breaking up the romance.

"Okay, guys and gals." AC grinned unrepentantly. "No more canoodling in front of the single dude."

By way of apology, Oliver settled an arm loosely over Chloe's shoulder, while Victor went one step further and pulled Mia closer before he stole a final kiss which left the girl blushing.

Ollie scowled at their fellow robot. "Hey!"

Mia stuck her tongue out, which made Chloe and Courtney laugh at the billionaire's face.

Victor didn't bother to hide his smile when Mia made a point to squeeze his arm.

Days like these made their dangerous lives, their sacrifices, completely worth while.

"You never know, man." Vic shook his empty beer bottle by way of a reminding whose turn it was to get em in. "The woman of your dreams could be right behind you."

AC shook his head and stood, ready to go buy the next round of drinks. "Yeah, like a babe is gonna walk right up and kiss..."