The Ramblings of Corius (original) (raw)

14 February 2010 @ 03:54 pm

I must be behind on the times cause no one posts in here really anymore. Is there some new hot blogging site? Am I an outdated old man?

28 January 2010 @ 11:45 am

So I haven't updated for real in a while so I thought I would do so. I don't think anyone reads this but it still serves as a nice way to review my life so why not.

So whats going on? Well I am still at ASU trying to finish my masters. I am in the writing phase but its taking too long. I can't wait to get out of here. It's so hard to get up every morning to write about something you don't care about and to finish a path you have been long done with. I don't want to be a biologist at all. I hate it. It might be a bad experience at ASU but giving it up feels like the right thing to do. I flash back to sitting in Dr. Dodson's office at BSU and him basically telling me I didn't have what it took. He was right. I just don't have the passion for biology that most biologists do. I find it all very cool but its not something I spend every day and night thinking about and the practice of it just sucks. I learned a valuable lesson, loving subject matter is different from loving the practice. I don't really know what I want to do. I am thinking mathmatical biology. Yes its still biology but its more math oriented, which is something I have always enjoyed. I like theory, and playing with things in my head. That is something my field of biology doesn't allow that much since its all observational. Also math allows me to follow my steps in a more succinct matter and its not dependent on season or anything else like ecological projects are. I don't know if this is where I will go or not.

In other news I am thinking about giving up my habit I picked up here. I mean I won't give it up entirley but I definatly am curbing it down quiet a bit and reserving it for special occasions.

21 January 2010 @ 09:30 pm

I'm really considering getting the fuck outta this sleezy ass country. Wow America wow.

06 September 2009 @ 01:50 am

Here's to being a worthless piece of shit.

22 August 2009 @ 05:34 pm

I don't know if I can do this anymore. I want to be done but it seems so very distant. Part of me just wants to give up but I can't. I am just so drained so very drained. I have no idea what I am doing with my life. I felt so sure that this is what I wanted to do but now it seems so futile. I clearly am not happy doing this. Why do I keep going. Am I just being stubborn old me or is there a reason for it all. I just don't know and everything seems so pointless.

I seem to have gotten a wind back which is good as I am getting things done again. If you don't hear from me don't be mad but instead be happy because it means I am getting shit done.

Ok life seriously back the fuck off for like ten min. K Thanks

I have been attempting to do some self reflection lately trying to figure out what is going on in my life, how it got away from me. I have been in a major depression lately. Trying to figure out the cause of said depression is proving to be difficult. I am sure its not one fold and I do know some of the reasons. What is hard is breaking through all the barriers of lies I have told myself to get to the truth. Lies help us shelter ourselves from what we are really feeling. They also cause all kinds of problems as I am discovering.

Well fuck no UPitt for me. I hate my fucking life.