Kill Those Sideways-Walking Motherfuckers (original) (raw)

| | Saturday, March 17th, 2007 9:40 am - Yup. Sunday, November 26th, 2006 5:20 am Tuesday, November 21st, 2006 9:56 am tomhart I wish I was a crab.Technically i'm a lobster.I'd like to scurry from side to side, snippin' my claws all day until the day I get caught and eaten alive. I'd like a really really big hard shell too.I am a happy lobster, weigh 10ib's.. Meaty. I like to dance as i'm stabbed in the eye with a toothpick.So i'm going to post a request:Lobster male looking for sweet crab on lobster action. Urge to snip, big. Crab must be willing to share seaweed at night.NO HOBBITS OR POKEMON.Please :( help me find my loving crab partner. Snip snip. (Murder A Helpless Crab) Wednesday, September 1st, 2004 9:39 am piratesrock89 you are all evil horrible people!!! i dont know why youd want to kill innocent sea creatures, didnt you ever see the friends episode where phoebe explains that all lobsters have soulmates? dont seperate the soulmates!!!!!!!!! i hope somebody steps on YOU instead of the lobsters you cruel terrible people!!!!!!current mood: pissed off (4 Crab Corpses | Murder A Helpless Crab) Wednesday, August 25th, 2004 9:33 pm Thursday, August 19th, 2004 2:01 pm Sunday, May 9th, 2004 11:28 am - Dissecting the Enemy thejekyll I have had the opportunity to work both back in High School and in College now in the science community to learn more about these bastard shell wearing freaks.Did you know that a frozen crab will come back to life months later if you thaw it? Thats not normal! They should be killed for that! I think they must be in league with Walt Disney's frozen head or something.Either way, you will be happy to know that back in High School Marine Biology I got to dissect one while it was alive. I pinned the little fucker's arms and legs to the dissection pan and the removed its top shell while it sat and screamed in silent crabby horror. I got to touch it still beating heart. Mark one win for the straight walking, 2 legged, non pincher bearing people!current mood: crazy (3 Crab Corpses | Murder A Helpless Crab) Monday, April 12th, 2004 4:01 pm - hello all burntcrow I am an unintentional crab killer..I once had five pet crabs, but I left them alone for spring break. When I returned, four of them escaped my tank and all I have left are there dried up corpses. So then..I slowly began to hate my crabs..how dare they commit suicide after I spent my hard earned money on those bastards..I put their bodies in my freezer in order to remember the hate I have for them everytime I go for a frozen pizza...and as for the survivor..he escaped the other day and was on my bed that bastard....His time is near! (2 Crab Corpses | Murder A Helpless Crab) Tuesday, March 30th, 2004 8:15 pm Thursday, February 19th, 2004 4:06 pm - Fuck Me Jenny...... Who's Jenny? Dunno.... Is She Hot? tomatopants I added more interests you foolios. I kinda cut and pasted my interests, but I added frog sucking and licking anus......current mood: creative (Murder A Helpless Crab) Friday, February 13th, 2004 4:17 pm nefus You can sodomize my payloadWith your jumbo squirrel-hammerI'll kill your sandalsAnd wear your wife like a hatGay mountain lion porn is in orderLet's pretend mice use shuttlecocks as lampshadesBurn the grass and finger the skyI'll kill your dog and give birth to your TVI await the day when that AIDS Muppet diesLet's make it our mealwormSuck on my sword while I stab you with my buttholeJust imagine a future involving pregnant bucketsGrow the fuck up and eat your alphabet soupDoormats displease the high honorable Dr. SnizzassSeagulls perform kamikaze anal rape on unsuspecting beachcombersI killed your basementLet's eat some sawdust and snort some sandI will retroactively kick my own assIf you read all this, I either love you, or want your hot metallic ass (Murder A Helpless Crab) Saturday, February 7th, 2004 10:59 pm Wednesday, February 4th, 2004 12:41 pm - Applesauce 'n Sodomy ducktruffles Yes, I consumed some crab the other day. I ate the fuck out of that motherfucker. It was in sushi form, and there was this large orange piece about 2 and half inches long, and I wasn't exactly sure what part of the fucking crab it came from. If it was from the leg, I'm pretty fucking scared. That is a big motherfucking crab. You'd seriously need a hammer to take care of something like that. Any thoughts?current mood: sickish (1 Crab Corpse | Murder A Helpless Crab) Sunday, January 25th, 2004 7:12 pm nefus Well, I realized today... kinda hard to say this... I realize I hate shrimp too. Are they arthropods? I dunno, but I hate them. Waking up with a large prawn in your hair is quite scarring on a person.current mood: sad (2 Crab Corpses | Murder A Helpless Crab) 1:18 am - See?????????? Monday, January 19th, 2004 5:57 pm - Mmmm Sunday, January 18th, 2004 11:57 pm 8:25 pm - Micheal Jackson 4:29 pm 4:27 pm - Hiccups. ducktruffles What the fuck kind of crab eats rice balls? Oh, I'm sorry... "Donuts."I found some shrimp in my fridge. Anyone got any fireworks?There's actually a website called pokemonaholic.com.WHAT THE FUCK IS POKEMONAHOL?!current mood: straight (3 Crab Corpses | Murder A Helpless Crab) | | 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