Declarations of Independence's Journal (original) (raw)

You say you don't trust any animal
that can bleed for seven days and
won't die.

I've been bleeding for too long.
I've been hurting inside,
suffered abuse and oppression;
I have bled and stained my memories
and my heart.

I am still alive.

It is a woman's place to walk down empty roads at 4 a.m.,
to jump in puddles,
to laugh loud
to get drunk, whether it be on good wine,
poetry, laughter, sex, outdrinking the boys,
admiration, voice, life.

I am a feminist,
but that does not mean I will be ashamed to shave my legs,
my cunt, my armpits.
I will not be ashamed of wearing pink,
of liking lace
and dresses
and glitter.

I will not feel shame for my naturally skinny body.
I will no longer feel the need to remind the world
that I am not anorexic.
I will ignore angry eyes
as I swallow three meals worth of food at once.
I will not allow myself any guilt, ever.

I have known love more than most can claim,
I have known love because I am unafraid
unafraid of seeming stupid
unafraid of reciting poems I have written from windowsills
unafraid of consequence;
I have taken leaps of faith,
I have chased the dragons of hopelessness
and came out in shining armor.

I am afraid of more than I let on; I am afraid of choking, losing my memory,
living a life without passion or love.

I am not Rapunzel, Cinderella, or Snow White.
If I want your help, I'll ask.

I will not be ashamed of the fact that I am physically weak,
that I can hardly lift a barbell,
but I am stubborn,
I am flexible,
and I am ruthless.

I will wrestle with the boys and I will win;
I'll tell them how to pleasure a woman,
I'll tell women how to pleasure themselves
and other women.

I have been angry. I spent a lot of time trying not to be angry.
The world told me that anger is bad. I realize now that repression
only breeds more anger. My anger will fuel my revolution.

I will fumble through my choices
and I will reject good advice
and give advice
and take advice, maybe even if it's too late.
I will live this life to the fullest,
and maybe I'll never sell a book,
and I'll probably come out scab-kneed, tired, and brokenhearted,
still, I will live this life, each moment of this life. Even if it's hard.
Especially if it's hard.

I will dance in the rain and swoon and giggle if I damn well please.
I am everything that is "girl"
and this girl can kick some ass if she has to.

Don't be suprised if I tell you to suck your own dick.
If I say, "Me first."
If I wrestle you to the floor in high heels
and perfect eyeshadow.
I will indulge in girltalk
and speak of revolution while painting my fingernails.

I will accept compliments
and be flattered by whistles and catcalls,
even as I'm shouting back
even as I grind their face into the dirt.

I will contradict myself and feel no shame.
I will stand tall and proud,
show my ass if I want to,
be a genius if I want to,
take the world by storm.

I am a woman,
I am everywoman,
I am no other woman but me.