I've always been a dreamer, I've had my head among the clouds (original) (raw)

We were so productive last night! I'm really proud of us. Our Super Bowl party on Sunday is going to also be a video game party, since let's be honest, Brian isn't really a football person. So last night, Brian spent some time working on the den, which is where all his video game stuff lives, along with his pinball machine, and he made some real progress. That room has really been a place where things just get dumped, so I'm glad he got stuff cleaned out.

While he was doing that, I was

looking at Tumblr

working on the upstairs. I got the dining room table (another dumping ground) completely cleaned off, and I used the hardwood floor mop on the dining room and the kitchen floors. I also dusted the chairs (cause we never use them) and cleaned the stairs going downstairs (as those are hardwood and just kind of collect kitty hair). I even hung a picture! I'd had plans to hang a better one, but issues with frames prevented that, and this was the only one I had that was light enough to use the velcro hanging strips we have. I'm not in love with the location, but damn it, there's something on our walls.

Hanging up that picture really reminded me about how bare our walls are, and I wish we could get some more stuff hung before Sunday, but I just don't think we will. I have two pictures from IKEA that I'd wanted to hang in the guest bedroom but can't now because of wall color. (But how awesome are these?) I was thinking of putting them in the dining room or somewhere similar? But I have no idea. I have no good ideas with regards to decor. Hrmpf.

Day 21: Spruce up and Surface Clean

Ah, this works well, because it's what we're already doing this week. Tonight, Brian plans to install a cable jack in the wall, which will get rid of the cords going literally across the entire living room floor, and I think I'm going to push him to replace the outlets in that room at the same time. Meanwhile, I'm going to wipe down and clean up the bathrooms and the ktichen.

It's really really nice to be preparing for a party and not feeling like we have this insurmountable task in front of us. When we were prepping for Thanksgiving, it felt like the house was just this terrible disaster area that required two weeks of cleaning to make presentable. Yes, there was a lot of unpacking that needed done for that, but it was still so much worse than it is now. I feel like we're starting to hit a state of organizational homeostasis, wherein even though we still aren't doing the dishes immediately and making the bed, things are getting cleaned up a lot faster than they were, and things are starting to have homes that didn't have homes before. And I know that Brian hasn't changed his patterns that much (because his were already alright), which means that I'm changing too, and I really like that.

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And, to end on a serious note, I realized something really important yesterday, and I wanted to write it down. I was in the shower thinking about the house, and I was getting really down on myself about how I was behind on the Cure and how I hadn't made the bed in a week and how the kitchen was a disaster when it'd been so nice earlier in the week. Suddenly, I remembered Thanksgiving Day, 2005, sitting on my soon-to-be-former couch in my soon-to-be-former basement. I was completely broke, drowning in debt, freshly dumped, and basically was about to move in with my parents with just my clothes, computer, and one of my cats. I literally thought my life was over and would never be successful or normal or loved ever again.

It's now seven years later, and I can't even believe how far I've come. I'm now a college graduate with zero dollars in credit card debt. I'm married and own a house. I have a job in a field I love and don't feel like I'm living paycheck to paycheck anymore. These are all things I wanted for myself back on that Thanksgiving Day and didn't feel like I'd ever be able to achieve, but I have.

Thinking about this, I can take away two things: one - no matter how much I feel like I can't do something, it's obvious I can. If I feel like I'll be fat forever and will never get to a weight where I'm happy with myself, I just have to remember how I thought I'd never be out of credit card debt or never own a house, and I know I can do it if I try and have a lot of help from the wonderful people around me. Two - yes, my house is messy, but I'm accomplished damn it. Some clutter is nothing compared to my college degree, and cleaning that clutter is nothing compared to what I had to do to earn that degree. That clutter is in a house I own, and I have help cleaning it up from my husband, who makes me laugh while I do it. That clutter accumulated because I was at work doing a job that makes me happy. The clutter is okay, because I'm okay.