* Apology* (original) (raw)

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Dear Chris,
It would not matter if I sent this letter to your or no because I know you are not mad at me, you are indifferent to me. I want to say the letter I gave you in the summer was something that I did mean, the kick in the ass, and the attempt to kick you in the crotch, I did that on purpose. At the time I did mean it because I was still hurt and I wanted your attention so I bad. I did not like the monosyllable hellos or the short coversations we had passing by. I'll admit I still wanted you to miss me and still want me back because I was in this delusional world that it would happen. It didn't happen and I knew it myself that it was never was going to happen again. I want to say I'm sorry for my violent outbreaks towards you, I regret what I did. I don't hold grudges, I've been working all semester forgiving you, myself, and trying to accept that situation that I'm dealing with living near you. I've improved and I think less of what's wrong with me or you and now see that shit hit the fan between us. I see that you are with Janna and I wish the best for you guys. I don't know what you think of me, but I"ll admit I still think of you once in awhile. I'm not asking for a hello from you, but I want to send you this for my own well being. Don't say hello to me actually and keep acting the way you did last semester because I believe if you said hi to me you might light hope for me and I don't want that. You've made me stronger, thank you.
-Sammi

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