'South Park' Shades Paramount+ in Savage Streaming Rant (original) (raw)

Published June 1, 2022, 9:42 a.m. ET

If you’re sick of the endless barrage of streaming services, you just found a new ally in South Park. When it wasn’t talking about Denver’s drought problems or boob jobs, the animated comedy’s latest special, The Streaming Wars, went hard against streaming services. It just goes to show that everyone is sick of the current state of television, even the guys who made six figures off of Paramount+.

Because this is South Park we’re talking about and nothing can ever be easy, The Streaming Wars isn’t directly about streaming services. While Denver is suffering from a drought, the water commissioner looks to the farmers in northern Colorado and offers them a deal. If their farms use less water than their government-issued allotment, the city could buy their unused water, perhaps on a month-to-month basis? With a reoccurring fee? That’s right; The Streaming Wars literally refer to streams.

Stan, Tolkien, and the rest of the gang quickly devise a way to capitalize on this new trend. The farmers need something they can stick in their streams to prove that their water supply goes to the Denver reservoir, and that something is little toy boats made from popsicle sticks. It’s in the midst of this child labor assembly line that this discussion about streams turns to streaming.

Kyle notices that one of Cartman’s boats looks rough and lectures him on how they should be putting out a good product for the (aquatic) streaming services. And that’s the match that sets off Butters.

“They don’t give a fuck, Kyle. They’re going to take everything that they can get. Everyone knows at the end of the day there’s only going to be like three streaming services,” Butters screams, waving his half-eaten popsicle wildly in the air. “Everyone just wants to have their shit on their stream and get bought out, you know? And they don’t give a fuck about how good anything is. And the people who make all the deals, they don’t give a fuck ’cause they’re all going to get fired anyway, you know? And everyone working at this streaming service is now working over at that streaming service. No one gives a shit about what fucking goes on in it.”

Though it’s disguised as sugar rush, Butters has a point. It’s also one that Matt Stone and Trey Parker know well. On the buyout front, Comedy Central, which is owned by Viacom, has long been the home of South Park. In 2019, Viacom and CBS merged to become ViacomCBS Inc. But the company went through yet another name change this year, becoming Paramount Global in February, a rebranding that folds Paramount’s film and TV divisions into this mega-company.

For most shows, these sorts of parent company politics may be annoying, but they don’t really affect the end product. Not South Park, a show with arguably the most confusing streaming setup of all time. HBO Max currently owns the streaming rights to South Park the series as well as the first two hourlong series specials, “The Pandemic Special” and “South ParQ Vaccination Special.” But only Paramount+ has the rights to the rest of _South Park’_s specials, including The Streaming Wars. In August of 2021, Paramount made a deal with Stone and Parker for $900 million in exchange for 14 of these exclusive made-for-TV movies for Paramount+ and six more seasons of the show for Comedy Central. That’s already a lot of negotiating, zeroes, and headaches.

Then there’s SouthParkStudios.com. Long before Netflix was even in the game, Stone and Parker pushed to have the streaming rights to their show. That’s why South Park Studios can show a certain selection of full episodes for free, an increasing anomaly in this subscription obsessed landscape.

Add all these things together, and Butters’ rant makes a lot of sense. It’s unknown if the monologue is something Stone and Parker have personally experienced or if they’re reading the industry room, so to speak. For example, we don’t know if Paramount’s reshuffling caused the company to lose a key player in one of _South Park’_s deals or if there have been creative disputes between Stone, Parker, Paramount+, and this Paramount Global-owned version of Viacom. However, it’s rare for the duo to get this specific and longwinded unless they’re personally infuriated. It just goes to show that even TV’s $900 million men have no idea what’s happening.

Tags