with a holyday, Zaraday today (original) (raw)

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Zaraday is a holyday that occurs on the 5th day of Bureaucracy. It is dedicated to the Apostle Zarathud. A hard nosed Hermit of Medieval Europe and Chaosphe Bible Banger (after his enlightenment, that is). Dubbed "Offender of The Faith". Discovered the Five Commandments:

I There is no Goddess but Goddess and She is Your Goddess. There is no Erisian Movement but The Erisian Movement and it is The Erisian Movement. And every Golden Apple Corps is the beloved home of a Golden Worm. II A Discordian Shall Always use the Official Discordian Document Numbering System. III A Discordian is Required during his early Illumination to Go Off Alone & Partake Joyously of a Hot Dog on a Friday; this Devotive Ceremony to Remonstrate against the popular Paganisms of the Day: of Catholic Christendom (no meat on Friday), of Judaism (no meat of Pork), of Hindic Peoples (no meat of Beef), of Buddhists (no meat of animal), and of Discordians (no Hot Dog Buns). IV A Discordian shall Partake of No Hot Dog Buns, for Such was the Solace of Our Goddess when She was Confronted with The Original Snub. V A Discordian is Prohibited from Believing What he reads.

Zarathud has never been known to compete in the Olympics.

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