Fic: Something I Can Never Have (1/1) (original) (raw)

[	Current Location	|	Home, in my bedroom	]
[	Current Mood	|	listless	]
[	Current Music	|	Something I Can Never Have - Nine Inch Nails	]

Author: Alilacia

Rating: PG

Disclaimer: Pirates of the Caribbean belongs to Jerry Bruckheimer and Co, and the Mouse. Jack Sparrow belongs to Johnny Depp. I'm only borrowing the names, faces and places for a while and promise to give them back afterwards. No money is being made from this small little story.

Summary: He just wants something he can never have.

Notes: Any mistakes are my own.

The title and lyrics used in this story is taken from the song "Something I Can Never Have" by Nine Inch Nails.

Takes place just before DMC.

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Something I Can Never Have

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My favourite dreams of you still wash ashore Scraping through my head 'till I don't want to sleep anymore

Will was almost certain that even with his eyes closed he would be able to find his way back here. It called to him, resonated in his head. The very heart of the ocean waves pulsed within his blood.

It was maddening.

If this was what Jack Sparrow faced day in day out, no wonder he acted like he did.

He toed off his shoes and stockings, letting his toes wriggle into the sand. The cool water lapped at his ankles with each surge up the beach.

With a sigh that was lost to the relaxing music of the ocean, the blacksmith lounged back against the cooling sand. His eyes drifted shut and he relaxed. Not enough to sleep but just enough for the lines around his eyes to fade. One hand touched to his sword, knowing that if anything happened he would be ready for it.

On the morrow, he would be marrying Elizabeth. It was not a traditional match but one that made the governor's daughter happy. And him. It made him happy.

Did it?

Snatches of his dreams these last few nights, when he had dared allow himself to sleep, replayed behind closed eyelids.

Waves - blackness - the reassuring ebb and flow against unyielding wood - the sounds of the gulls crying overhead - the crisp smell in the air that can only be found so far into open waters that land cannot be seen by the naked eye...

He had gotten a taste of something he had never known before. It had taken pirates - and one pirate in particular - to show him that something had been lacking in his life. For a brief, indescribable, moment he had known what it was like to answer to only himself.

For the first time he had shed the shackles, some self-imposed, that had slowly been tightening around his life. He had been able to lose himself in the ocean around him, the feel of a sword within his grasp, the rolling of a wooden deck under his shoes, the bright grin of a sun-kissed pirate...

It had been liberating. Will opened up his eyes, raising them to look at the heavy moon hanging in the sky. It was scary as hell, it was... freedom.

He'd always pushed beyond the boundaries of what was expected of him. First when he'd been accepted by Master Brown and he'd taken over the unfamiliar craft... when he'd pushed himself for hours to become one with the swords he honed... when he had idolised Elizabeth from afar, knowing she was out of his reach, but unable to stop loving her... and then... when upon that ship... with Sparrow... it had come so easily to him Will hadn't questioned the unconscious effort to push himself further in this new direction...

But for the first time in a long time his heart yearned for something other than the vision of Elizabeth and the desire to fashion molten metal in his hands. Will pushed himself up from the sand and stared at the ocean lapping gently at his feet.

The night air was turning colder and the scent on the air warned of a coming storm.

Somewhere on the docks a bell tolled three times. Will raised his head to look out onto the horizon and tried not to remember when he'd stared at a similar sight from the deck of a worthy ship. Was there a ship approaching? Few dared sail out in this darkness. Only the crazy and the foolhardy would travel in the thick of the night with the danger from the rocks.

Will knew one man, one pirate, that would make such a journey.

He blinked and something flickered in the thick darkness. Sails? He blinked again and it was gone.

Will steeled his jaw and rose to his feet. Calloused hands dusted the sand from his clothes. He was a grown man with a lady waiting for him to return. He had his own business to run and a whole new chapter of his life to begin in the morning.

There was no room in his life for these flights of fancy. He would find his way but it would not be on rolling seas. It couldn't be.

His shoes and stockings were placed back onto damp, sand encrusted feet.

His expression softened slightly, almost indecisive. Freedom... the sounds of the waves rushing against the side of a large ship... the feeling of the wind in his hair and the sun on his face...

He turned away from something he desperately wanted but knew he could never have for something he was getting the chance to have but should have known better than to want in the first place.

The ocean would have to wait.

I just want something I just want something I can never have

Fin.