Darlin (original) (raw)

Okay, forgive me for not making a cut for this, I've not much patience of late and can't seem to make it work. . . . I could almost scream.

No updates because, well . . . May 26th fell down the last basement step on way to garage because I was carrying too many bags and things so I couldn't see - idiot. Managed to gather all up then stand despite pain, went to work, iced ankle, tried to be nice. Ended up limping back to car which I parked close in visitor parking, went home, limped around to get a few things done, got back in car, picked up Sinjin, got food for us (no way was I cooking), went home where he met my youngest then we ate on the back screened in porch which is my little spot of heaven on earth.

Rodney, my ex boyfriend the firefighter who started calling me again last year after years of silence, called while Sinjin and I were outside, told him I couldn’t talk, took Sinjin to airport hugged him good bye in car, couldn't possibly go inside with him (it was a good visit), called Rodney back after got home, he demanded I come see him – odd but so typical of him. I thought it wouldn’t be a good idea since he’s married now and told him so and had in fact told him last year I would never visit him at the fire station again but when I told him about my foot and asked him did he want me to limp over there he demanded to look at it and I gave in because it wasn’t the usual sprain I’ve had before.

Would not have gone to hospital if not for Rodney my own personal EMT. I suppose it helps to have an ex-boyfriend who’s a firefighter. Gosh he looked gorgeous.. He wrapped my foot in a splint w/gauze and gave me another Cincinnati Fire Fighter t-shirt and I almost cried. The last one I threw away after I stopped seeing him because it reminded me too much of him. It was never that I didn’t love him only that I knew we weren’t compatible and I was tired of him not having enough time for me. Nothing’s changed there. Break up was for the best and I'm glad after all this time we can be friends.

May 27th was at the hospital from 10pm the night before to nearly 6am the next day. Got home and fell asleep on the large leather couch in the living room for two hours then people started to call but I slept another two hours off and on then Sinjin called, made it safely to his destination thankfully. I then hobbled upstairs on my crutches and rolled into bed where I slept for eight solid hours. I would’ve slept longer but my youngest heard I was up and came in so I went downstairs and she fed me, or rather got food and drinks for me - I sound like a baby! We watched two days of recorded General Hospitals fast forwarding through most of the mess then enjoyed Make me into a Supermodel with the to die for gorgeous Tyson. Checked my e-mail, browsed LJ, checked for new stories at ff.net and the RoLo Realm, sent one to my work addy to read later and then after mindless television went back to sleep.

May 28th got about six hours of sleep and struggled to get ready for work. Not that difficult but tiring. Wish I’d been lifting weights more but I’m not out of shape so . . . and yet I feel like it. Hopping, on crutches, standing on one leg, it’s exhausting. Youngest drove me to work, held doors open for me but my purse was in the way - duh, (brought a backpack after that), found flowers waiting for me on my desk, immediately thought, "ugh" but they were pretty and it was a nice gesture yet totally unnecessary and I felt required to give thanks to these people whom I’d rather not feel obligated to. Maybe because it's a gesture, not sincere, just, hey that lady over there broke her foot, buy her some flowers. I don't socialize at work, why? When I'm at work I'm like Doc Martin if anyone watches that show, all business. My life takes place before and after work, during work in a kind of limbo land where I write stories and I sneak down halls and hope no one sees me so I'm not bothered with pleasant meaningless niceties. I'm polite but it's like school there and I've never played gossip girl or wanted to costar in a soap. I did thank them but still . . . I’m such an old curmudgeon, have decided I'm so abnormal it’s pathetic but I do not care.

Would that that was all but nope. June 6th my calf swelled up and hurt like hell, suffered through work then went to ER where they saw me right away this time, removed cast (plaster splint) and took my blood and had everyone in the world come peek at my foot and calf. Decision: possible blood clot. They finally sent me home with blood thinner injections and told me to come back for testing Monday morning. June 8th, Monday, I was there for 4 1/2 hours and left with pills and more blood thinner injections. Follow up Friday for clot with my doctor and another follow up two hours later for the foot.

So, car accident, broken foot, blood clot. If I were the type of person that believed in bad luck I'd say 2009 was such a year for me. I don't. I'm alive, reasonably healthy, have people who care about me and I can sit on my back screened in porch like now and watch for deer and other critters and I'm happy. Oh, and we got a tiny, tiny kitten, all black so its hair won't show up on my mostly all black clothes, and so, so adorable. Life's good.

I'm going to try to update my Stormy/Remy story An Ever Fixed Mark on ff.net this week. Obviously last week wasn't good so that's the reason for the delay. I've fallen behind on a lot of things because life on crutches freaking hurts which is why I didn't really use them much and was like this stupid couch cow. They should've told me to walk but in retrospect I guess if I had any common sense I would've thought of that myself and possibly spared myself from having to do injections. That's all folks.